#effusions

And I see the clear difference

When You finally depart.

And most often You leave

Without even bidding a proper farewell,

Just as You arrive without any prior notice.

Sudden is both Your coming and going.

I could only wish now

That the next time You arrive,

You never leave.

Would that You were visible to my eyes

I would have definitely devised a plot

To chain You with me forever.

I wish it is you. The one I have been waiting for. I actually want it to be you.

I had fun tonigt. Although I've said to myself not to ask you out anymore but just wait for you to miss me so much that you will be the one to find a way to see me, As expected, that did not happen. Not that I know you wouldn't ask out, but that I cannot hold back. I'm the one who misses so much and always finds the way to see you. What can I do? I'm built this way.

I cannot wait. That's the problem.

I've been through this before. Strict parents. House rules. Off limits, Can't visit! Can't easily go out when I wanted to see her. The fear that someone might see us holding hands or whatever. Those childish things, those're just pain in the butt!

I told myself, never will I allow myself be in that situation again. It's crappy. Hurts like hell. What a waste of time. It's no cool. And I thought I've outgrown it. Thought I can just say no to it and not let it happen.

But life surely has its way to surprise you.

No matter how much you promise to say no to the situation, it is the person herself whom you cannot say no to.

I just have this feeling that among all the rest, you will be worth all the pain. Worth all the effort. Worth all the sacrifices. You have something that keeps me coming back for more. Something that pushes me beyond my limits when I know I that I have none. Something that wants me to take all the risks. Lay all my cards down. Be unguarded. Defenseless. Let myself fall.

I'm sorry nasasaktan kita kahit nagpromise na ako na hindi na.

Love,