𝚀𝚄𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙰𝙼𝙼𝚄𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 , ulterior motives attempting to be disguised. alec doesn’t like not knowing what those are. people were normally easy to read , but the other was an intricate entity that he had little hopes of completely figuring out. the truth to query forms in inner monologue : there is much he’s afraid of. though FEARLESSNESS is something the elder nephilim likes to portray. it was what was expected of a leader ( . . . of a lightwood ) . specific fears come in the form of losing his parabatai , hurting and failing those that depend on him and that he loves , & DEATH. the reaper was someone he has come close to meeting face to face before , and that possibility becomes more real with each day he continues to choose fighting. at times alec likes to think he has completely made peace with this fact , but the thought of leaving all he has here on this mortal plane , causes deep ice cold sorrow to surge through his veins. “ i’m not scared of you. “ words are spoken with strong conviction. “ if that’s the answer you were looking for , you came to the wrong person. “