#edmmy

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"You met him."

Jimmys voice is void of emotion. his mind is blank, void of thought. his words are nothing but a simple fact. he's stunned and he only spoke simply to confirm with himself, with the other man, with reality itself, of the truth that had shocked him out of his racing thoughts from before.

Edgar just stares at Jimmy, eyes locked with the other man. Shards of a broken mug lay scattered on the floor, the sound of ceramic shattering still echoing in the back of Edgars mind. Jimmys eyes are wide and blank and devoid of emotion as his mind lags, trying to process what Edgar had told him and everything those words meant. The young mans demeaner had changed so suddenly. Edgars confession had flipped a switched in Jimmys mind, his awkward and punkish attitude had shut off, leaving his mind blank with disbeliefs. Edgars skin crawls with worry.

"…Are you alright?" Edgar says.

Jimmy blinks rapidly. Jimmy looks almost confused at Edgars concern for him. Confused that the other man could find more interest in Jimmys state then he could in relaying the much more interesting, much more important information about the fact that he…had met…

Jimmy, mind still reeling and body feeling both heavy and light at the same time, steps towards Edgar. he moves cautiously, like he might loose the other man if he's not careful. Like he might loose something special.

Edgar steps back until he's pushed up against the kitchen counter, nervous and worried. He's not worried for himself though, why would he be? To Edgar, jimmy is just some poor guy - a guy from off the street, on his own, caught in the rain with little money - the only person Edgar could expect him to hurt is himself. Edgar hopes that he hasn't pushed any buttons he didn't know about, and judging from the others strange reaction to his particular words, Edgar suspects - he hopes that he's wrong - that Jimmy may have had the same luck that he's had.

"You met him?" Jimmy says.

Edgar swallows a lump in his throat. There's a strange new tone to Jimmys voice. Something is off about it. Edgars words begin to settle into Jimmys mind, the shock that Jimmy had went into slowly recedes and makes room for emotion to trickle back in. Disbelief still holds onto him but Jimmys heart races in anticipation, quietly begging for more confirmation from the religious man, whos nice home has been tainted with memories of…

"…Yes." Edgar says.

That word hits Jimmy like a punch to the chest.

"Yes, i met him. months ago." Edgars voice softens and he lowers his gaze down, as if shying away from his own words and the memories they refer to.

Those words are like a second punch, hard enough to break Jimmys rib cage.

Jimmys senses return to him, his once blank mind now filling with uncountable thoughts and possibilities, washing away his confusion and disbeliefs. For even more confirmation, Jimmy could ask Edgar to show him any scars that he may have gained from his encounter, but Jimmy doesn't even think to ask (yet). Edgars words are all he needs. he believes him whole-heartedly.

A long smile stretches across Jimmys face and his eyes gleam up at Edgar. Jimmy looks so happy. He is happy. He's happy to be next to someone so special, so lucky.

Jimmys expression puts Edgar on edge.

Jimmy grabs Edgars shoulders and pushes himself up against the other man. Edgar is caught in between the counter and Jimmy, their faces inches from each others. Edgar feels Jimmys warm breath against him as he pants from excitement.

Jimmy can't believe it. He just can't believe it.

"Heh…ah…ah-heheheheh…heheh." Jimmy laughs to himself. nervous. excited.

Jimmy loosens his grip on Edgars shoulders and runs his hands up and down the mans arms, feeling his warm skin…the skin He touched. The arms He could have cut clean off.

Edgar stays still. He doesn't know what to do. He wasn't expecting this and he doesn't know what's up with this guy. That confession was a mistake, an accident. It had just slipped out when he was in thought, when he could feel the memory of that night creeping up into his mind. Edgar had gotten the hang of keeping those thoughts in place and his nerves in check, enough to keep himself from collapsing and locking himself away forever. Some days are a bit harder then others, though.

Jimmys moves back just a bit, just to make enough room between the two of them for his hands to roam over the religious mans chest. Jimmy gives out quiet and breathy laughs as he slowly slides his hands across Edgars chest.

The world around Jimmy feels slow, distant and fuzzy. His heart feels heavy and his face is flushed. The feeling of Edgars body warms his own body better then any of the tea that Edgar had generously gave him. Edgar didn't have to give him anything. Edgar didn't have to pull him out of the rain, bring him home, let him wash himself up, keep him safe.

Jimmy has only known Edgar for a little while, but the kindness that he's been shown is so much more then he's received in so long. Jimmy almost let his guard fall….but, in Jimmys experience, things like this never last. things go rotten eventually, people always want something. Jimmy could enjoy his special treatment while it lasted but he was waiting for some ugly truth to be reveled, and if He had tried to deal with Edgar once then there must be something wrong with him, Because He only takes out those who make the world uglier. Jimmy finds that the religious types often have the ugliest side.

Still, whatever it is about Edgar that had attracted His attention, just the fact that he had met Him, been near Him, seen Him, had been touched by Him…still manages to cast Edgar in this strange alluring glow that Jimmy just can't ignore.

Edgar had met Him. Edgar had been so close to Him. Being so close to Edgar, touching the same body that He touched, makes Jimmy feel closer to Him. Jimmy can't resist. It's like Edgar had been blessed - or cursed - and if Jimmy gets closer then so will he. With Jimmys luck, with how long he's been searching, this might be the closest he'll ever be to Him.

Jimmy presses his hand over Edgars heart, feeling its beat. It's fast. The feeling of Edgars heartbeat under his palm causes his own heart to pick up its pace. Jimmy blushes harder and he hisses when a shiver runs down his back. Edgars heart - one of his most vital organs - is beating right underneath Jimmys hand, underneath skin and muscle and tissue and fat, all so easy to tear and rip and slice and….destroy.

He could have destroyed this mans body so easily. beyond recognition. He almost did. He could have saved Edgars dirty soul and the earth could be a little cleaner. Maybe Jimmy could pick up where He left off and finish the job. Would He be proud?

Jimmy bites his lip and he feels his pants tighten.

Edgar is soooo special and he's so stupid doesn't even realize it. Jimmy bets that stupidity is what led to his faithful encounter. There are so many vile idiots in the world but not everyone is lucky enough to get the chance to have their dirty soul be saved by Him.

"Jimmy, step back-"

"How did it feel to meet him?"

Those were the first words spoken in a while and after they were said the room fell back into complete silence.

Edgar stares down at the other, Jimmy stares up at the other.

Edgar takes in a deep breath and then lets it out slowly, trying to steady his heart, relax his nerves and calm his growing fear. He had already been a little on edge around the other man due to his resemblance to Him, but Edgar reminded himself that their likeness was only surface level, you never know what's on the inside. That crooked smile Jimmy wears….Edgars starting to suspect that his insides…

"Heheheh…" Jimmys head feels both light and heavy and he's sweating like hell. He can't take this. Jimmy wants Edgar - or rather, he wants something beyond Edgar.

Edgars eyes follow Jimmys hand as it moves away from his heart and slowly trails down his chest…down his stomach…past his belt - 'Oh. Oh my God' Edgar thinks - and stops in between Edgars thighs.

Edgar closes his eyes and takes in another deep breath, preparing himself. Edgar thinks he might understand now. Edgar thinks he should have expected this. Jimmy is just some poor runaway, only 20 and already roaming the streets. kicked out of his parents house with only the amount of change his pockets could fit. of course he'd be like this. Desperate. The reaction to the mention of Edgars encounter? Oh, Jimmy must have just been so shocked. It's not every day you meet someone who had a run-in with a serial killer. Jimmy feels bad because Edgar must feel so bad. Jimmy must want to comfort the other man, show him that he can be useful, show him that he can offer a good distraction from his awful memory of Him, so Jimmy doesn't have to overstay his welcome in Edgars home.

That's what Edgar tells himself. The sight of Jimmys crooked smile and his sharp eyes, that question and the tone he said it in - "How did it feel to meet him?" - cast doubt over Edgars theory, but he can't have it any other way. Jimmy can't be like Him. That can't happen again. Jimmy is just some poor runaway who just feels so sorry that Edgar had to experience that and he wants to help him and show that he can be a useful distraction from it all and that he's allowed to stay for just a little longer. That's all it is. Nothing sinister. Although, Edgar knows that even in that case he should still push jimmy off and reject him, Edgar would only be taking advantage of Jimmy…but…

Flick.

Edgar snaps his eyes back open when he hears that sound and feels something cold and sharp pressing against his neck.

He sees the expression on jimmys face, crazed eyes and a long smile, as he holds his pocket knife to Edgars throat. Jimmys hand is still holding onto Edgars crotch and his face is still covered in blush. Jimmy is getting off to this - not to Edgar himself but to something else. Him. The thought of Him, Edgars association with Him, The thought that He could have tried to slit Edgars throat and failed and Jimmy might be following His same motions. Him.

Jimmy wants to feel the skin that his idol touched, Jimmy wants to eat his idols leftovers, Jimmy wants to do what his idol couldn't and more.

Jimmy pushes the blade of the pocket knife further against the religious mans skin. Jimmy sighs

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idek i tried.

No you didn't try my fellow friend...

You NAILED this BITCH OF A DYNAMIC.

Fucking SHIT! I don't think I've read something of the likes of this in YEARS, I am crying and laughing and smiling like a freak, you SEE... YOU SEE.. I'm gonna tell you all I like about this because you don't know what sort of door you opened.

Read Butterflies by Crow-sensei: 1, 2, 3

Thank @sauntervaguelydown​ for the existence of this comic, she kept me motivated haha

I read butterflies at 2AM, as you do, and I may make a follow up on the other chapters if I can. Hands are a hit or miss, and arms can go fuck themselves ugh.

In My Room - EdMmy - Teen - Tags: Internal conflict, angst and feels, aromantic Jimmy, alternative universe - high school, big projection hours guys