#editor is in

I find it amusing, Mr Lipwig, that you apparently believe between the two of us, I am the less competent criminal. After all, only one of us has actually been hanged. But if it's a challenge you want, it's a challenge we'll do. But why pickpocketing? We all already know my employees can do that. Instead I offer you this. By the end of the month, the Scandal Alley Urchin Gang will have stolen the Chandeliers from the Post Office, at least 5 of the Golems which establish your Golem Standard, the Rail Line map from Ankh Morpork station and...hmm. Let's say your wife's lighter from your house. See you in a few weeks, I expect a full payout! The Times would like to take this moment to remind Mr. Lipwig that Ms Sharpe is, at most, 17 and likely biting off far more than she can actually pull off here. Though we wait with baited breath for her attempts.

We did just have a near takeover by an undead madman, including his meddling with the post office. One can assume a temporary state of chaos as things are brought back to normal

Really. Really this is how you want to spend your limited time resurrected from the dead. Threatening public officials anonymously. I know how to defend myself Mr. Dun. And frankly your methods are sloppy. I survived Assassin's School I can survive an untrained, overenthusiastic Undead who's prone to sloppy knifeplay.

I'll send a public safety announcement out in the next edition. Also may I recommend contacting Miss Dearheart, given she has that, ya know, golem army and all that might be useful in finding him and her husband?

After the recent demise of Hagin, an elderly man who was attempting to organize the city's pick pockets into an operation under his control, a power vaccum seems to have been left. One that has filled by an older street urchin known only as "Ms. Sharpe." Her first scheme since taking control of the Scandal Alley Urchin Gangs appears to involve having some of her older-looking members dressing as Train Porters and...running off with luggage given to them by would-be passengers. Needless to say, this particular scheme was rather quick to be discovered. However, other believed scams ran by the Urchin Gang, involving placing signs on deposit boxes at the bank reading "out of order, leave deposit with attendant" and straight pickpocketing has kept the Urchin Gang in the green despite this. Given "Ms. Sharpe" is a licensed thief, it is unlikely she will face the same fate as Hagin. We intend to reach out to @moist-von-lipwig-official over the Urchin Gang's recent targeting of organizations he oversees at later dates.

I...thought we fixed this

Aridia, long considered a worthless strip of land in the far west of the Disc that is inhabited by a small group of colonists and descendants of colonists from Ankh Morpork, has finally provided a reason for Ankh Morpork to take notice of it as the Dwarves, StrongintheArm and Glodson, have found what they describe as "The Motherlode" of gold in the area. CMOT Dibbler Naval Transport Services is now offering a bulk ticket price for people heading to this gold laden paradise to seek their fortune.