#ectobiotech

that means that you don’t quite count as a nerd because you’re like super mega monster tier nerd. sparks only called me a nerd. not a nerd with qualifiers. :U

//gently pats// can you make chamomile?

hey you lived longer than I did.

aha

[24-Aug-15 22:12:35] Dave: if you were falling then i would catch you

you need a light id find a match

cause i love the way you say good morning

and you take me the way i am

[24-Aug-15 22:19:14] Tobi: damn dave, that sounds like a pale proposition. all its missing is a pap.

[24-Aug-15 22:20:49] Dave: the fuck

no

not talking about your crazy foursquare alien romance

dont you recognize a first class serenade when you see it

[24-Aug-15 22:21:48] Tobi: woah now. i'm a married troll. serenade with caution.

[24-Aug-15 22:26:03] Dave: will you get your brain out of whatever gutter it seems to be permalodged in

cant a guy sing to his best bro in honor of the most epic bromance to ever grace the historias

[24-Aug-15 22:28:37] Tobi: well it is pretty fucking epic. I don't know what historians would record it though.

[24-Aug-15 22:32:44] Dave: us

clearly

or maybe lalonde

shes got that whole wordy odyssey shit going on

we scribble it all down and let her spit shine it until it gleams

the sheer beauty of it will leave nary a dry eye in the house

[24-Aug-15 22:34:05] Tobi: i'm pretty sure her mind's further in the gutter than mine...

[24-Aug-15 22:35:58] Dave: hey thats my sister youre probably being right about

shell turn it into some yaoi nightmare

ill never be able to thread a needle again

[24-Aug-15 22:36:53] Tobi: i'm not sure if its a hilarious prospect, or horrifying.

[24-Aug-15 22:39:01] Dave: i believe the phrase were looking for is morbid curiosity

[24-Aug-15 22:41:27] Tobi: i wouldn't go that far...

[24-Aug-15 22:41:52] Dave: dont worry kohai ill protect you

[24-Aug-15 22:42:14] Tobi: hey what makes you the senpai?

[24-Aug-15 22:43:33] Dave: im older

and bigger

and its my hands thatll suffer gigantism

therefore i am staking my rightful claim to senpainess now

[24-Aug-15 22:44:45] Tobi: boo. why does everyone pull the "bigger" card? i'm going to grow eventually!

[24-Aug-15 22:45:46] Tobi: also careful about those giant hands. that's how semes are chosen.

[24-Aug-15 22:50:29] Dave: eventually he says

source i say

i see no proof of future growth

i accept my fate as seme

after all you do have that whole delicate little uke look going on

if the uke was part azure oni or some shit

[24-Aug-15 22:53:51] Tobi: how is it i'm japanese but you know more about anime and shit than me?

[24-Aug-15 22:56:04] Dave: i blame our resident furry

and bro

[24-Aug-15 22:57:54] Tobi: blaming my sister doesn't exactly work. bro i'll believe

[24-Aug-15 23:02:01] Dave: i will blame her and she will kick my ass as is the way of the world

but how do you know im wrong

huh

[24-Aug-15 23:05:01] Tobi: well, I don't but I'm speaking on intuition. I don't think she had a hand in this

[24-Aug-15 23:12:05] Dave: your intuition is shaky ground at best

try not to fall in

in the meantime i present

me in all my glory and talent

[24-Aug-15 23:12:10] Dave: https://41.media.tumblr.com/72cbf960b58048dea596a28d2130e672/tumblr_ntmexpb17j1qewacoo1_540.jpg

[24-Aug-15 23:13:07] Tobi: dave no why would you show me that??? it hurts. it physically hurts!

[24-Aug-15 23:14:17] Dave: guess that means you ought to be feeding me more

spare yourself the heartache of yet another destroyed kitchen

[24-Aug-15 23:15:13] Tobi: fine. i'll check to make sure you're good to join us for dinner from now on but you owe me.

[24-Aug-15 23:18:08] Dave: what do i owe you

[24-Aug-15 23:18:41] Tobi: i don't know yet. I'd tell you if I did.

[24-Aug-15 23:20:53] Dave: i dont know

this seems kinda shady

i get dinner and you get god knows

to be called in god knows when

[24-Aug-15 23:21:40] Tobi: well rest assured its not going to be illicit or illegal.

[24-Aug-15 23:23:24] Dave: hey hold on there now

illicit ill hold you to but who said it had to be legal

[24-Aug-15 23:24:52] Tobi: pff i'm not going to risk a pissed off life witch are you?

[24-Aug-15 23:28:45] Dave: since when is fincess a cop

[24-Aug-15 23:29:36] Tobi: since she seems to have a wiggly for laws and maintaining them.

[24-Aug-15 23:33:37] Dave: guess ill just have to be extra careful

and use that good ol strider charm if i get caught

[24-Aug-15 23:34:19] Tobi: sure. like that'll work on her. good luck

[24-Aug-15 23:37:40] Dave: never underestimate the power of a determined dave

ill not only sweet talk my way out of it but probs end up with a date as a bonus

[24-Aug-15 23:38:05] Tobi: yeah right. good luck

[24-Aug-15 23:39:07] Dave: dont need luck

do need my beauty rest though so if i stop replying thats why

[24-Aug-15 23:40:39] Tobi: pff. fine. i don't think beauty rest is gonna help that ugly mug much though.

[25-Aug-15 00:03:36] Dave: rude

just goes to show what little that you got there

[25-Aug-15 00:17:07] Tobi: i've got a heck of a lot more than you.

[25-Aug-15 07:03:58] Dave: squints at me from last night and wonders what the hell he was even typing

[25-Aug-15 11:47:01] Tobi: i dunno man some of it seemed pretty forward

[25-Aug-15 11:49:39] Dave: not all of it. just the last bit there at the end. this is why i shouldnt be allowed to talk and sleep at the same time. who knows what might come out to the wrong person and i end up with a pet gorilla or something

[25-Aug-15 11:51:27] Tobi: honestly if you end up with a pet gorilla just hop back and slap yourself.

[25-Aug-15 11:56:59] Dave: ill take that under advisement but first im going to see what went down. i mean come on egbert its not every day a guy gets the gift of giant primate

[25-Aug-15 11:58:22] Tobi: well considering they aren't pets and would probably take your house apart like dude. why keep it.

[25-Aug-15 12:11:25] Dave: that sounds like quitter logic

[25-Aug-15 12:16:36] Tobi: sounds like intelligent thought. i dunno where you're currently living but if it's still that hell hole you call a planet and that tiny ass apartment, doesn't seem like a particularly good idea.

[25-Aug-15 12:16:50] Tobi: i'd tell dirk the same thing.

[25-Aug-15 12:19:26] Dave: free range rilla dude

[25-Aug-15 12:20:09] Dave: beside i have a shiny new planet to run amok on why would i stay in the taint on satans asscrack

[25-Aug-15 12:20:32] Tobi: so where ARE you staying?

[25-Aug-15 14:42:26] Dave: around. why? you have a burning need to pay me a visit and check out the new digs

[25-Aug-15 16:14:33] Tobi: yes, actually. and if that was your kitchen check out the damage because sweet god.

[25-Aug-15 16:53:00] Dave: chill

that was so not my kitchen

im no you but im not that bad either

plus its missing one very key item

[25-Aug-15 16:55:20] Tobi: whats the key item?

[25-Aug-15 17:07:24] Dave: mother

[25-Aug-15 17:07:28] Dave: fuckin

[25-Aug-15 17:07:39] Dave: hello kitty microwave

[25-Aug-15 17:09:04] Tobi: welp I guess i DO owe you a house warming gift...

[25-Aug-15 17:09:48] Dave: i fail to see the connection between my glorious possession and that

[25-Aug-15 17:20:32] Tobi: because you've got a new house.

[25-Aug-15 17:20:43] Tobi: and generally when people get new houses they get new things

[25-Aug-15 17:23:12] Dave: you and i have very different definitions of new

but if you want to shower me in tokens of affection for my 'new' digs

who am i to argue

momma didnt raise no fool

[25-Aug-15 17:23:35] Tobi: momma didn't raise

[25-Aug-15 18:00:54] Dave: i said momma didnt raise no fool

where is the lie

momma was busy doing other important shit

like raising not another fool and being hundreds of years in the future

[25-Aug-15 18:38:34] Tobi: well that's true. my momma was busy trying to take over the world sooo...

[25-Aug-15 18:43:49] Dave: more like your momma was busy baking and making mustaches look hot

[25-Aug-15 18:45:45] Tobi: woah that's my nana, not my momma. momma was a sea witch. or your mom if they'd had a bit more time.

[25-Aug-15 18:47:33] Dave: you took her and grandpa dearest and made you and harlenglish

ergo momma

also or what

[25-Aug-15 18:51:10] Tobi: still nana. also my dad and your mom were on a date when jack killed them.

[25-Aug-15 19:16:09] Dave: hey

we are doing semantics here

and in this game i am king

also i am not sure how i feel about this

not that i didnt know

i just dont think on it

guess we dodged the steppies bullet in a really tragic way

shades off to you old dog

[25-Aug-15 19:22:03] Tobi: well its not like you're dating my sister or i'm dating yours so i don't see how it would have mattered...

[25-Aug-15 19:30:46] Dave: warbles awkwardly while broken banjos play in the background

[25-Aug-15 19:33:20] Tobi: oh my god. are you dating my sister?

[25-Aug-15 19:33:29] Tobi: or are you oh my god are you dating my nana???

[25-Aug-15 19:35:46] Dave: sadly i havent laid eyes on the lovely jane since i been here

note the broken banjos symbolizing past events

search your memory banks egbert

you know it to be true

since you were kinda there for it

[25-Aug-15 19:40:24] Tobi: oh geeze i forgot about that.

[25-Aug-15 19:40:38] Tobi: i was legitimately trying to forget about that and you reminded me. why would you do that???

[25-Aug-15 19:40:50] Tobi: oh my god his memories are a mess. uuuugh.

[25-Aug-15 19:42:23] Dave: if i have to suffer so do you

[25-Aug-15 19:42:30] Dave: thats how bros work

[25-Aug-15 19:42:45] Tobi: wow that's... that's hella vicious wow.

[25-Aug-15 19:43:37] Dave: shhh

calm your fluff and tell me more about this hella cool house chilling gift youre bringing me

[25-Aug-15 19:44:22] Tobi: well i'd have to shuffle over to an earth timeline but hey, if you wanted to come and make a day of it, we could do that.

[25-Aug-15 19:44:35] Tobi: haven't been there in a while.

[25-Aug-15 19:44:58] Tobi: i imagine the neighbors are asking questions since the rent stays paid and we keep the lease up to date...

[25-Aug-15 19:46:55] Dave: sure

lets creep out the neighbors by walking out of the place no one went in

[25-Aug-15 19:54:50] Tobi: sounds like a plan to me.

[25-Aug-15 19:55:51] Tobi: and we'll all get a chance to see what my human self looks like now that i'm an actual adult, which is kind of it's own version of interesting.

[25-Aug-15 20:17:38 | Edited 20:22:47] Dave: not sure how that falls under the interesting umbrella

its just age progression 3d edition

i still remember what little you looked like and i see you now

play a game of mental photo morph and voila

humanbert

[25-Aug-15 20:19:04] Tobi: i try not to play games of mental morph. bluh. bluhhhhhh. when do you want to head out?

[25-Aug-15 20:19:36] Tobi: i mean i guess with your powers we could literally go at any time and not have any troubles with it...

[25-Aug-15 20:25:21] Dave: your loss

youd be amazed what you come up with

whenevers good for you tbh

im not the guy with the fam and freeloader

and were not doing any official shit at the moment

so i could literally go right now if you wanted

[25-Aug-15 20:30:19] Tobi: i'm for it.

[25-Aug-15 20:30:38] Tobi: though to be fair karkat isn't a freeloader. he does a lot of housework and keeps an eye on the wriggler sooo.

[25-Aug-15 20:33:13] Dave: shh

dont be so technical

where do you want to meet up then

[25-Aug-15 20:34:01] Tobi: you could port out here and we could port from here, or I could go to you and we could port from there.

[25-Aug-15 20:36:22] Dave: way to be decisive

think youve been hanging out with captors too long

ill port there

[25-Aug-15 20:38:22] Tobi: well i hang out with them a lot less than i used to...

see you in a second. I've got to dig up the thing i need for this. if i'm not out there just come inside no one's going to bitch.

[25-Aug-15 20:40:21] Tobi: i mean karkat might but pff at least he's not going to be loud about it.

[25-Aug-15 20:49:15] Dave: still kind of weirded out when no sound comes out of him

i keep wanting to look for the volume swtich

crank up the dial to eleven

dude

hes a karkat

hes supposed to be loud

anyway entering airspace now

am i coming in for a landing or in

[25-Aug-15 20:51:40] Tobi: in. i'm having a little trouble locating the pda. i haven't had to use it in a while.

[25-Aug-15 21:03:17] Tobi: you'd think i'd have some kind of organizational system.

[25-Aug-15 21:03:51] Tobi: i just kind of ejected it once i realized i didn't have to use it anymore and wouldn't you know i had an IDENTICAL one from the blending. bluh.

[26-Aug-15 05:17:16] Dave: of course you did

i am in the kitchen

half of me is in the fridge

the rest of me is clearly not

try not to get distracted by that part when you come in here

[26-Aug-15 05:48:05] Tobi: "Trust me. Strider ass is not something I find all that distracting." you scoff, stepping into the room, poking around on the antiquated pda. "I told you about Dan, right?"

[26-Aug-15 05:53:02] Dave: "Mm, but Dan was a sprite. I couldn't even find my own ass as a sprite. It's hard to be distracted by what's not really there," you retort, righting yourself and licking your fingers from sticking them in random leftovers. "Ready to rock and roll?"

[26-Aug-15 06:02:01] Tobi: "One sec. I forgot what folder I moved the program to." A little more fiddling and cool, blue tinted grey skin was traded for a warmer pale peachy-tan, then the device was locked and pushed into an upper pocket. "okay. now we can go. The neighbors are going to be weirded out enough by us just walking out the front door after months... better to not have them flip their shit about an alien or demon or something" your face scrunches at the thought. "...remind me when we get back and you can just take home... whatever you were working on finishing."

[26-Aug-15 06:30:34] Dave: Tilting your head, you study him, taking in the aged up features you were once fairly familar with a lifetime ago. "Hmm. Not bad. Eighty to eighty-five percent match, I'd say." Gesturing for him to lead the way now, you snort. He probably doesn't want to know you were just tasting things. Or how many of them were involved. "Sure. Will do."

[26-Aug-15 06:33:56] Tobi: You look down at yourself, then nod as you look back at him, accepting the appraisal. "It's weird without the sharp-and-tough factor."

There's a loud snort from the other room you're choosing to ignore. "I'm ready to go if you are."

[26-Aug-15 06:42:58] Dave: "You've still got hidden blunt force trauma at your disposal, so you'll be fine." That's curious, but you're guessing it's just Karkat scoffing at Tobi, so you avoid openly laughing at it. Since you have to go out the same way you came in, as far as you know, you start heading that way. "Are you kidding? I was slimed ready."

[26-Aug-15 06:46:37] Tobi: "Pff please I was there. you weren't slimed ready for anything, including poopy diapers." you follow him out, waving to the family portion as you pass. "arguably the least ready of all my little slime monsters, and I was in that mess." Dave was probably more ready than you. It's just fun to bicker.

[26-Aug-15 06:52:31] Dave: Family portion waves back, all of them laughing. You seem miffed. "I was born ready for my close ups. And my diaper was pristine out of necessity. You can't go around filming shit with shit in your nappy." It's mad fun to bicker.

[26-Aug-15 06:56:53] Tobi: "Clearly you've never laid eyes on your newly slimed face. I can one hundred percent guarantee you that you weren't ready for close ups, and we both know the biggest difficulties on sets are babies. you just can't direct babies. you, sir, were an undirectable little slime baby. With a scrunched up face." you gesture to the intended location in an overly formal manner. "after you."

[26-Aug-15 07:02:40] Dave: Tilting your nose way up and flouncing by him to the destination. You wish you were wearing your cape just so you could throw it over your shoulder, but alas, it's street clothes only time. "Excuse you. That's because I was the director. You don't direct the director, good sir."

[26-Aug-15 07:08:05] Tobi: "Oh? and I suppose Rose was your screen writer?" you give a dramatic roll of the eyes, following after him, inputting the codes for earth. "...so I had a crazy dream last sleep..."

[26-Aug-15 07:17:25] Dave: "Hell no. I write all my own material. Always have, always will." Geez Tobi. He really should know better. "Hmm?"

[26-Aug-15 07:21:05] Tobi: Hey he wasn't really around for Dave's film career. "I dreamt I went with my first moirail, to his timeline... and you were there but... never really around? like... ever."

[26-Aug-15 07:31:27] Dave: Dave remembers. That's why he's being indignant, but not expecting him to actually have known it. The attitude comes off basically the same though. "Huh. Weird. Around here people complain I never go away. So what else did I do in not Kansas anymore?"

[26-Aug-15 07:36:43] Tobi: "There was NO entertainment industry, for one, you were off dating Aradia... and Sollux..."

[26-Aug-15 07:51:08] Dave: One would assume they are now chatting in Kirkland and set to head wherever it is they're heading. You squint behind your shades. "What sort of backwater place are they running there? Pretty sure even the shell dudes have some form of entertainment." The second revelation makes you choke on air for a second, which you quickly recover from. "Well, least other me doesn't have shitty taste, but wow."

[26-Aug-15 07:53:40] Tobi: "There were two native Solli and you were dating the one with crippling antisocial tendencies. Pitch." Kirkland it is!! you walk off the transportalizer and check for your keys in your pocket. Once satisfied you lead him out. "Just... yeah shitty taste."

[26-Aug-15 08:02:01] Dave: You're led, in no real hurry and now possessing a sort of morbid curiosity about this alternate you. "Two? Like your hubby and not hubby? But Christ. Was it going as poorly as it sounds like it would have been going?"

[26-Aug-15 08:06:11] Tobi: "Similar but dissimilar? Star and Sol don't get along the way they did... and it was. The Sollux I knew was leading rebellions in an entire other dimension, the other Sollux was a completely unpitiable jerk. And don't even get me started on the Captor over population problem. and did you know two Karkat's can be problematic? And the stunning sudden changes the world went through like... at the whim of its masters. ugh"

[26-Aug-15 08:13:31] Dave: Dave is just sort of quietly amazed and horrified. "Uh... huh. And I thought the shit the Lalondes come up with was fucked up. Okay, don't eat so close to bedtime, and I'm not sure if this means you need more sopor or less, but whichever it is, do it."

[26-Aug-15 08:18:26] Tobi: "You know... I'm not sure either? I'm kind of just poking at the other trolls in the neighborhood and going 'does this sound normal to you??'. I think this is one to throw at the Makaras. It's on the list of 'shit I still need to do', right after looking up an ex and telling them to go vigorously fuck themselves... Makaras are fucking terrifying on off days."

[26-Aug-15 08:33:08] Dave: "Well, I'm pretty much the last guy you want to ask what's normal. Even on my own, I can't seem to pull it off unless you consider making 3D jpeg artifacts and launching them into the sun normal." His declaration of where it is on the list pulls an actual chuckle for you. "Does that mean it's high or low on your to do list? Makaras are pretty great to mess with though. I mean, getting that steamed over a video?"

[26-Aug-15 08:39:56] Tobi: "I'm pretty sure he was winding to a psychotic break and the video was just the last straw..." You shrug. "I'm more... generally afraid of the bigger one though... He's got a history of nondiscriminatory culling of smaller and weaker trolls... I doubt he'd get away with it but I've died so many damned times I just do not want to go through that again... If it means waiting for another cool blooded troll to show up I will literally lay in wait for a Zahhak."

[26-Aug-15 08:47:14] Dave: "Hmm. Makes me feel slightly less culpable for what went down. Course he was in cahoots with the puppet too, and that's when the weird stuff goes down. Ask Dirk about his bromares some time. Freaky as fuck." This is sort of assumptive here and if it's not okay, it's easily editable, but it seems reasonable for this to have been a conversation that went down about equally reasonable events. "Sure. No more death for you. Hmm. What about the Peixes chick? Darkest freaky is her shtick. She's got the whole life healing thing too. And I never saw anyone battier than the other pinky."

[26-Aug-15 08:56:56] Tobi: "Wrong hue, also a fish. Things applicable to her aren't going to be applicable to me. For instance she can tolerate colder areas, and breath under water. Also she can speak to horror terrors without dying. I can't. I think."

[26-Aug-15 09:09:54] Dave: "Alright, so she's not the closest match. Still coudn't hurt to have the convo in the interim. Heh. 'You think.' Also might be a Derse thing. You guys got bright clouds. We got Lovecraft's bosom buds."

[26-Aug-15 09:16:08] Tobi: "Might be because of location... We were over Skaia, you guys were out in the boonies."

[26-Aug-15 09:47:53] Dave: "They do say location is everything." You shrug. Who knows? "Speaking of the cardinal rule of real estate, where're we headed?"

[26-Aug-15 13:54:35] Tobi: "We are headed into town. Specifically we've got to get our booties into the Seattle 'Sanrio' store so we can poke around and see if we can't place an order for your thematicly amusing microwave oven... And did you know they've got a toaster that burns her into your food?"

[26-Aug-15 14:04:01] Dave: "...Dust a few cobwebs out of there, old man. The absence of the microwave was how you could tell it wasn't my kitchen. As in I already got one. But no, I didn't, since I'm not deep in the kitty. It just popped up online while I was looking for one, so naturally I had to have it." For ridiculous ironic purposes, of course. He still does that sometimes.

[26-Aug-15 14:06:10] Tobi: "Well then now you're getting a matching toaster, because your kitchen can't be complete without this." Snort. Dave's a nerd and Tobi adores him. "Mainly because I expect you to lord it over Dirk when he gets here. I'll be supremely disappointed if you don't."

[26-Aug-15 16:44:58] Dave: Dave has clearly already spoken with Dirk, but who's to say it's not time shenanigans. Some things are worth messing with. "He's more likely to be jealous if you found me something with mlp than Hello Kitty."

[26-Aug-15 16:46:53] Tobi: "Oh don't even get me started on the things that timelines similar to ours produced for that. I guarantee you it's not worth thinking about." Tobi shudders, scrunching his nose. "Maybe I'll be nice and get him one of those ridiculous pony kigus for Christmas though..."

[26-Aug-15 17:03:43] Dave: "I think it's totally worth thinking about. You have to think of these things. They might cease to exist if you don't, and that'd be a terrible tragedy." Tobi, you're adorable and your tolerance for the crude and ridiculous needs to go up if you're hanging out with Striders again. "That could work too. A nice reasonable middle ground. And if he doesn't want it, I'll just steal it and wear it any time I see him. I'll even make a point of changing into it if I run into him on the street."

[26-Aug-15 17:08:41] Tobi: "You know... I believe you would and could." He snorts. "Sounds like the beautiful beginning of our entertainment industry, honestly."

[26-Aug-15 17:40:41] Dave: "Damn right I would." You hum thoughtfully, considering the observation. "Only if we get this on film. The new hit reality show, only not, because everyone knows those things are shit."

[26-Aug-15 17:52:59] Tobi: "Oh yeah." He snorts. "They got dumber by the year if I remember correctly... I didn't exactly contribute POSITIVELY to the industry."

[26-Aug-15 18:19:44] Dave: "I don't remember them ever getting better." You reach over and ruffle his hair. "Don't worry. Not everyone can be a genius like me."

[26-Aug-15 18:29:02] Tobi: "Hey I made people laugh in hard times and you can't discount the validity of that." You elbow him with the intent to tickle. "Times were hard before you whippersnappers came on the scene with your laser disks and your walkmans." He laughs. "Ok for real though. Do we want to walk or do we want to call a car?"

[26-Aug-15 18:36:33] Dave: How do you elbow someone with the intent to tickle? That doesn't even make sense, so you're definitely untickled. "Wow. You even managed to get it so the two things don't really go together. I bow to your prowess as a crotchety old man." You actually do pause and bow. "Of course, I never got the shot at being one, so I guess we'll never know who's superior. Cars are for squares. Let's get to walkin'."

[26-Aug-15 18:42:28] Tobi: "...you know I was about to say 'oh but now you get the chance' then I remembered we're mostly immortal and pretty much guaranteed to never get much older." You make a face, pulling an updated phone with a map out of your pocket to double check the way. "Sometimes I forget we're never going to get that opportunity... bluh. Not the time for sad thoughts. Bro time."

[26-Aug-15 19:20:22] Dave: "Hey, give me the time, I'll get there. Just because I'll always have my stunning good looks, doesn't mean it ain't gonna happen. And with your fun little doohicky there, I won't even need makeup to pass either." No bad thoughts. Not today, motherfucker. Only heading to get this weird toaster thing.

[26-Aug-15 19:22:45] Tobi: "Well Star could probably finagle it. Though let's be honest here, Dave... Blonds don't age well." You grin, shoving the phone away again to guide the trip into town.

[26-Aug-15 20:16:15] Dave: "Fuck you. Blonds age amazingly. Not as well as black people though. I mean holy shit. Are they thirty? Or are they like sixty? Whatever their fucking secret is, they'd make a mint or two if someone could bottle it."

[26-Aug-15 20:19:10] Tobi: "Or continue in secret as they have for centuries." You nod, hands in your pockets, shrugging. "Keep it a secret. Make people ask questions..."

[26-Aug-15 20:28:34] Dave: You scowl good naturedly at him. "Oh right. I forgot I was with an asshole who likes to quash the young entrepreneurial spirit"

[26-Aug-15 20:30:29] Tobi: "Oh no. That was my mother. I'm more about poking at it till it squeaks and makes up its mind about a future." Fake sword jabbing motions. "You know, like all old men concerned about today's youth."

[26-Aug-15 20:35:10] Dave: You make a squeaking sound and swat at his hand. "You watch where you point that thing. You could put someone's eye out, which sounds great in practice, because free eyeball, but it's really not that awesome unless you're already prepared for it."

[26-Aug-15 22:19:45] Tobi: "Yeah. I don't even know what I'd do with an eyeball, honestly. They're kind of... " You scrunch your face. "They're not good eating, for one."

[27-Aug-15 05:08:40] Dave: "Why is eating the first thing you think of when there's a much better alternative. You put it in a jar, anchor it and make sure to point it so it's watching visitors at all times. Bonus points if you put a sign above it that says, 'I've got my eye on you.'" You sound as if this should have been the insanely obvious choice of actions.

[27-Aug-15 08:28:37] Tobi: "I think with my stomach. first: is it edible. Second: pranks..  And that's an excellent one"

[27-Aug-15 08:36:30 | Edited 08:36:49] Dave: "Guess that's why your shop does so well. You have a brilliant tummy. And that is not a prank. That is an important display piece." One which you intend to make now. "If you ever come across a stray eye, be sure to pass it along if it's still fresh. I'm not fighting with some dried up shrivel."

[27-Aug-15 14:42:31] Tobi: "I'll let you know if I see an eye you can have." You nod dutifully. "Well I /WAS/ the Crocker heir apparent for a while. I mean you can't discount the whole 'baked goods empire' thing."

[27-Aug-15 17:15:11] Dave: "Great. You're a real pal. Have I mentioned that lately?" You snicker. It's a terrible pun, and of the weakest caliber. You should be ashamed of yourself, but you're not. "You make a very good point there."

[27-Aug-15 17:16:52] Tobi: You shove at him, because he's a nerd and deserves it. "Yeah well. I'm full of good points and sharp edges, generally."

[27-Aug-15 18:42:11] Dave: You shove back, because that's what nerds do with one another. "You're looking pretty soft around the edges right now, so you might want to watch it, small fry."

[27-Aug-15 18:42:46] Tobi: "Wow. woooow. Hey I might be a squishy human but I can still pack a wallop."

[27-Aug-15 18:45:59] Dave: You hum thoughtfully. "Maybe, but you have to be able to catch me first."

[27-Aug-15 18:47:52] Tobi: "Oooh jumps through time, still thinks the wind can't catch him." To prove your point, you send the wind ruffling through his hair.

[27-Aug-15 18:50:56] Dave: "If I jumped through time, you really wouldn't be able to catch me. I can also freeze you. You can't catch anything when you can't move, but I was just talking about plain old human abilities." One of which happens to be flash stepping for those playing along at home who are versed in Strider lore.

[27-Aug-15 18:53:00] Tobi: Tobi snorts. "As a human I'm better equipped to catching colds than catching people. Test me again when I have claws and muscles that actually do something"

[27-Aug-15 18:53:59] Dave: Dave nods. "You're on. For now, you keep those nasty mitts away from me and your germs to yourself,dude."

[27-Aug-15 18:59:25] Tobi: You reach up and run both open palms over his cheeks. "Oh no. I'm getting cooties on you."

[27-Aug-15 19:24:23] Dave: Your face takes on a look of horror and you back pedal at high speed, fingers crossed in front of you. This is probably not a thing you should do where there are things and possibly people you did not check for first, since you promptly slam into something.

[27-Aug-15 19:32:52] Tobi: You laugh at him, grinning brightly.

[27-Aug-15 19:36:43] Dave: Groaning, you dust yourself off, apologizing to the... light post. Well, that was a smooth one, Strider. Good job. "Is that store around here yet?" You're scowling lightly at him. Not only is he laughing at you, but it was his fault you ended up so graceless.

[27-Aug-15 19:38:00] Tobi: "Yes," you gesture to a rather large Sanrio store, "but you were too busy being a mega nerd to realize it sooner."

[27-Aug-15 19:52:01] Dave: "You touched me with gross hands. How did you expect me to react?" You huff, stalking past him and into the store. You're not trying to lose him or anything, so you're not going past the entrance area, but it's the thought that counts.

[27-Aug-15 19:53:42] Tobi: "Oh what, now that my hands are brown they're gross?" you tease, following after him.

[27-Aug-15 19:59:32] Dave: "You said it. Not me." Upon both of you successfully entering the store, you switch spots, so you're following him now.

[27-Aug-15 20:08:52] Tobi: You lead the way toward the housewares, gesturing to ridiculous amounts of Hello Kitty themed kitchen ware. "Tadah!"

[27-Aug-15 20:16:29] Dave: Wow. They will literally put images on everything. Occasionally you forget that. "God bless merchandising. It's your gift. You pick it out. I could never decide. It's all too beautiful." Sniffle.

[27-Aug-15 20:19:57] Tobi: "You know, you're the biggest nerd I've ever met. Seriously"

[27-Aug-15 20:24:39] Dave: You shrug one shoulder. "Go big or go home and figure out how to get bigger. Speaking of which, I'm sure you know bigger nerds than me."

[27-Aug-15 20:27:49] Tobi: "No. This is coming from the guy who's been around more Sollux Captor than Sollux Captor himself. There are no bigger nerds than you. Now reach up with your taller-than-me powers and grab the big box off the top shelf." Theoretically you could float up and grab it yourself, but you're loath to attract attention.

[28-Aug-15 05:47:30] Dave: "I object on the grounds it's not true, and you are spreading slander and lies over my good name," you  protest, even as you use your taller than him powers to get the box. It's a little bit of a stretch, even for you, because of the size of the box, but there's no problem with its acquisition.

[29-Aug-15 19:46:07] Tobi: "You're incorrect sir. It's absolutely true. No truer word has ever been spoken." You're prepared to take the box when it's brought down, buffering it with wind, carrying it to the counter. "You can pick out something else if you want!"

[29-Aug-15 20:08:02] Dave: "I demand a recount from an unbiased party. Your opinion is tainted." You don't really need him to, but you're not going to argue with him either, since it makes it easier to look around the store. You need to find just the right awful thing. Something that will make everyone groan, but also something you might have hope to use one day as well. "Aha!"

And with that, you're pulling a box set of Hello Kitty fine stemware. The perfect thing to impress any date.

[29-Aug-15 20:22:49] Tobi: You laugh, watching him pull them out. "WSow. We should just decorate your whole kitchen like that."

[29-Aug-15 20:24:17] Dave: "No." It's flat and brooks no argument. The microwave was funny. The toaster is to match. The glasses are a nod to Rose more than anything you truly want. Seriously, when are you ever going to have someone over for fine dining?

[30-Aug-15 02:13:33] Tobi: "Oh you're just going to have it be mismatched?"

[30-Aug-15 09:36:39] Dave: Sighing heavily, you push the bridge of your shades up like some exasperated megane character. "Listen. My kitchen is fine asis. The microwave was a funny accident. The toaster thing is because it sounds cool. Faces miraculously appearing in my burnt bread? Hell yes. The stemware is ironic. Properly ironic. A childish icon on something usually used for non-childish things. Not to mention it'll make Rose laugh, and I occasionally enjoy hearing my sister laugh with me, so just chill a little on the cartoon cat stuff dude, okay?"

[30-Aug-15 20:16:48] Tobi: "If you like that there's a toaster I saw on tv back before we came into the game that burns selfies into toast." he's trying to understand.

[30-Aug-15 20:26:43] Dave: "Yeah. How about we trade the toaster oven for the toaster then, since I can't seem to keep my appliances straight anyway. I know how a toaster works and an oven works, but they went and had a kid or some shit. What do you even use those things for?"

[30-Aug-15 20:59:06] Tobi: "You can cook a whole grilled cheese in a toaster oven"

[30-Aug-15 21:08:10] Dave: "My gut reaction to that should probably not be 'you can cook your face in a toaster oven,' especially since I'm not sure your face would fit in there. I'm good making it the old fashioned way. Thanks for the tip though. I'll be sure to keep it in mind."

[30-Aug-15 21:17:56] Tobi: "You can also cook pizza bagels and all kinds of things in there without heating your whole house up." He shrugs. "It's a thought"

[30-Aug-15 21:31:28] Dave: "I have a microwave which makes killer pizza bagels." He snorts. "You remember the part where you're supposed to be feeding me dinner these days? That should tell you how often I bother cooking anything outside of it."

[30-Aug-15 21:33:08] Tobi: "Dave... Dave there are three meals in a day...."

[30-Aug-15 21:53:23] Dave: "That's where the microwave and the toaster come in. Face bread for brekkies and nuke something for lunch before I get a delicious home cooked meal from my bestest pal."

[30-Aug-15 22:28:50] Tobi: "And dessert! Can't let all those sweets go to waste," he notes, grinning. "Put meat on everyone's  bones."

[31-Aug-15 05:16:48] Dave: More snorting. Tobi certainly is a riot today. "You trying to fatten us all up to put in your meat pies?"

[31-Aug-15 05:30:39] Tobi: "Oh no. You caught me. I'm totally Ms. Lovette. Star is the demon barber. You've caught on to our dastardly plan." You laugh, rolling your eyes. "No, but seriously, I just think you could all do with more weight on your bones."

[31-Aug-15 05:58:24] Dave: "I dunno man. He could be. He's got those crazy eyes." You're kidding. You like Starling just fine. And you were complicit in the misguided time travelling caper Tobi cooked up, which means there was definite approval involved there. "I don't see why. I'm not scrawny and prone to forgetting to eat. Have you felt me lately?"

[31-Aug-15 13:06:42] Tobi: "Gasp no. scandalous." You snicker, batting at him. "I'm married!"

[31-Aug-15 13:34:25] Dave: Oh good lord, Tobi. "Feeling my arm is scandalous? Do you blush at the mere thought of holding hands. How often do you cover children's eyes when people are cuddling in movies."

[31-Aug-15 13:35:37] Tobi: "Oh my yes. The impurity of it all." You rest a wrist to your forehead, giggling.

[31-Aug-15 16:35:24] Dave: You roll your eyes behind your shades and head back to where the toaster oven is going back to.

[31-Aug-15 16:35:39] Dave: "Less melodramatics, more shopping."

[31-Aug-15 16:36:37] Tobi: "Whoops, thought they went hand in hand." You stick your tongue out at him, snickering loudly. "I bet they make toasters that have drawing screens on them so you can draw shitty comics on them too...

[31-Aug-15 16:42:20] Dave: "Maybe for you. Then again, it's usually a solo trip if I have to go." You replace the rejected appliance on the upper shelf, contemplating what he said. "Hmm. You mean as decoration for the food or just the toaster itself?"

[31-Aug-15 16:43:06] Tobi: "Food decoration. I'm sure. And if it doesn't actually exist in any dimension we know enough techy folk that we SHOULD have graphics toasters."

[31-Aug-15 17:54:07] Dave: "You bet your ass we do. They need to get on it stat if there isn't already one. My work changed the world. Now it's time for it to change breakfast." Now who's being overdramatic here?

[31-Aug-15 17:55:26] Tobi: "Well I can't speak to the world, given I'm pretty sure the start of your career marked the end of my life, but the comics from when we were kids were great."

[31-Aug-15 18:06:37] Dave: "If you think those were great, just imagine those on the big screen, with Stiller and Wilson and Glover, may they rest in peace, in the lead roles. Sometimes I wonder which shades these are. Great men gave them to me in each place, so I don't suppose it much matters." You are suffering from a huge wave of nostalgia just now, but it passes fairly quickly. "We'll have to see if we can dig them up for you. They're required viewing."

[31-Aug-15 18:08:50] Tobi: "Then you have to sit through everything I made." You pat his shoulder. "Every film and TV show Johnny T Crocker ever appeared in~"

[31-Aug-15 18:11:59] Dave: Rose had shoved some of it at you already, not that you'd understood the true significance of it immediately, but it's the principle of the thing. "I don't think that's playing fair. You had a way longer career than I did."E

[31-Aug-15 18:19:02] Tobi: "Pff. You act like its going to include silent film or early talkies. Geeze. it's not really that much."

[31-Aug-15 19:28:10] Dave: "Hey. You never know. Johnny T was from ye olden days before people learned how to combine the magic of actor's voices and images. We'll see. If it's excessive, we watch something else I pick."

[31-Aug-15 19:32:34] Tobi: "I think I'd know what I was in... but deal."

[31-Aug-15 20:04:01] Dave: It's assumed they have located the toaster and are in possession of it now. "Great. We all set or do you need to browse around and find some souvenirs. Maybe a play thing for the little one?"

[31-Aug-15 20:23:20] Tobi: "Oh! he could use some out-of-water only toys! Thanks for reminding me!"

[31-Aug-15 20:27:34] Dave: "I live to serve." You bow at him. He is the heir and you're the knight. It's a funny joke sometimes.

[31-Aug-15 20:44:59] Tobi: You snicker and prod at his cheek. "Why don't you pick something out for him this time? Something that'll withstand razor teeth." Yeah, you're the heir and he's the knight, but he's ridiculously nerdy about it sometimes.

[31-Aug-15 20:51:56] Dave: What's the fun in having absurd titles if you're not absurd about them? "I don't think they sell anything like that here unless you're looking to invest in metal toys."

[31-Aug-15 20:53:18] Tobi: "You've seen his toy collection right? Mostly dog toys. Because wriggler teeth and the nearly inescapable 'everything goes in your mouth till it says OUCH' phase."

[31-Aug-15 21:27:02] Dave: "Mmm. Yeah. Pretty sure I can handle that. Give me a minute" You pick something suitable, in exactly a minute, which someone doesn't really care to research a particular item this time.

[31-Aug-15 21:27:53] Tobi: You grin, nodding your approval. "This is gonna make a really happy crab baby."

[31-Aug-15 21:49:27] Dave: "I"m hearing the clicky clack of happy claws already." This time you don't ask before meandering toward the register. You would like to leave the place while the shopkeep is still young.

[31-Aug-15 21:50:44] Tobi: Which would be easily done given Dave's unique abilities, but you don't fuss, choosing instead to make the whole trip easy and pay for everything without a complaint. "Wanna see where the shop used to be?"

[31-Aug-15 21:59:42] Dave: Yes, but why waste the energy when one just needs to corral the lollygagger? Since carrying the items around isn't a big deal for you guys, a further jaunt into the city won't hurt. "Sure. I'd love to see what they did with the place."

[31-Aug-15 22:02:12] Tobi: "Same. I think they just put a new bakery in though, considering... it's been a bakery spot for like... a hundred years or something" He leads the way, guiding him out to the street again.

[01-Sep-15 05:35:09] Dave: He follows, moseying along and checking out the people again, still in a slightly more than casual way. Old habits die hard, and who's to say they're bad? "Always gotta have a bun in oven, huh? Some places have no shame."

[01-Sep-15 14:40:32] Tobi: "Well, it's historic Seattle. A very important local. If you leave it empty for too long it creates a poor impression of Pike's market.”

[01-Sep-15 15:31:10] Dave: You hum an agreement, wondering idly if Tobi missed the shitty joke or is just ignoring it in favor of playing tour guide. "Can't have that. It's one of the most touristy places in the town. Speaking of the market, you know we have to wander through there too, right?"

[01-Sep-15 17:00:06] Tobi: You're ignoring it. "Yes. absolutely."

[02-Sep-15 06:29:48] Dave: When they get to where they're going, it is in fact an open aire bakery, just as promised. Parked next to it is an old man playing the piano, quite cheerfully. You tip him generously inquire as to whether he ever plays any duets, as in you're attempting to make your dear friend play with him.

[02-Sep-15 07:03:28] Tobi: You blush. It's been a while since you've played for a crowd, and when the man agrees you're all too suddenly perched beside him, working your fingers out before giving Dave a dirty, very accusatory look. You whisper to your new companion and eventually come up with a song you both know, perfect for duets, and four hands fly on the ivory. You're a bit clumsy in comparison, but you're primarily a baker, and he does this full time. It's not much of a fair comparison.

[02-Sep-15 07:26:48] Dave: You, on the other hand, are a smug asshole, lounging against one of the pillar, eyes closed and toes tapping on the ground. There would have been a standing ovation if you hadn't already been standing, but you do cheer uncharacteristically loudly. Or maybe there's more than one of you just long enough to applaud.

[02-Sep-15 12:03:02] Tobi: Your best friend is a huge nerd, but you thank the man and give a little bow to listeners... Then cheat just enough to pop off the ground and attempt to attack Dave with a vigorous noogie.

[02-Sep-15 12:06:52] Dave: Dave is six foot tall. That's a lot of cheating there Tobi, not to mention you're ready for it, so it ends up being more you catching him than an actual success on his part. "That was lovely, dear, now let's grab something from your ex-bakery and head to the market."

[02-Sep-15 12:10:19] Tobi: You huff loudly when caught. "Jerk. Too tall ass jerk " You pout and wiggle free and go to the bakery front, eyeing it thoughtfully

[02-Sep-15 12:14:19] Dave: Setting him down, you pat him on the head. You don't really care about how tall you are comparatively, but since he pouted about it, you have to act like the jerk he said you were. You go for something fairly simple and universally tasty, at least in you opinion: zucchini bread. Since you'd known that from the beginning, you wait politely for him to choose something or to pass while they get yours ready.

[02-Sep-15 12:19:00] Tobi: You order yourself a blueberry muffin, if only to play 'compare and contrast' with your own recipe, and go to wait with Dave. "When we started here, I didn't get a big following and I was sooo confused... Then I started getting anon messages.. from a condesce... it was weird but she really helped.”

[02-Sep-15 13:20:56] Dave: You shrug, wrinkling your nose up. Condesces, any condesces, make you twitchy. "There's a lot of competition for the food dollar. Guess she helped you stand out some. For an alien fish, she did know her way around baked goods."

[02-Sep-15 13:59:14] Tobi: "Yeah... I met her Beforan alternate... Well, the alpha did... I mean the beta session alpha player..." You shrug. Your life is complicated. "Apparently baking is just her thing"

[02-Sep-15 14:16:58] Dave: You get it. It's like trying to explain upcoming would have beens that already happened. Everyone's life is complicated. "Hey, if you're gonna be a royal bitch, you may as well have a hobby too." You take your bread, meandering across the way to the market, quietly grateful for the chance for both of you to have something to put in your face and stop chatting about Tobi's unfortunate family tree.

[02-Sep-15 14:19:06] Tobi: You sniff the muffin, taking it in with a thoughtful sigh. "It's missing something... I can't tell what... but it's missing something... " Somehow you find that satisfying. "Anyway... "

[02-Sep-15 14:51:40] Dave: "Course it is. You didn't make it. You want a whiff of mine before it gets gone?" You offer him the small loaf. As for the market itself, that is a giant ass place and will therefore mostly be glossed over. Occasional stops occur when something of interest is in sight, and you make sure to sample everything they have, definitely snagging some juice to take home, as well as some cider, because sometimes a guy wants a little adventure in his fruit derived liquids too.

[02-Sep-15 14:55:09] Tobi: You sniff at the loaf, nodding approvingly. "Not terrible. Just not up to my standards..." You manage to collect a few things to bring home too. "Should we chance getting something for Rose? I mean I know she's gone but you could probably take it directly to her yeah?"

[02-Sep-15 15:59:59] Dave: "Sure if you want. A little something for the whole fam." You'll probably hold onto it, because taking it back would be suspicious, and you'll get something that keeps or just throw it in a stasis bubble until the eventualities sort themselves out. No sense giving it to the wrong Rose.

[02-Sep-15 16:02:19] Tobi: "...What if we brought stuff back for like... all our fellow players?" You look around, tapping your chin. "Then no one's left out..."

[02-Sep-15 16:09:14] Dave: You contemplate the idea, deciding it sounds amusing enough to be worth the effort of picking out that many things. "Sure. There's enough crap here, we can bring everyone back a real, live alien artifact."

[02-Sep-15 16:10:20] Tobi: "OH! Let's keep an eye out for local honey. Just a jar of that should be enough to get our native captors flipping their shit."

[02-Sep-15 16:15:31] Dave: "Captor-mari," you quip, the use of the old joke serving as the acknowledgment of the statement. Truth be told, the gift giving scavenger hunt sounds like fun.

[02-Sep-15 16:16:19] Tobi: You snort, prodding him in the side. "Well yeah I guess, but not so much anymore."

[02-Sep-15 16:20:54] Dave: Reflexively, you shove back with your elbow. "Hey, you had the highest score there for a while. It's not your fault the game broke itself and the ball exploded leaving a mess of gold everywhere."

[02-Sep-15 16:22:27] Tobi: "Yeah, that's kind of what Captors do..." You shrug, managing to keep your balance. "Kerbloosh pchoooo gone."

[02-Sep-15 17:35:14] Dave: "How long does it go on? Until there's only one? Like their own spontaneous game of Highlander. Seems kind of wasteful. Not to mention messy. Seriously, who's going to clean all that up? Someone call in the kerbloosh pchoooo janitors, we've got another one!"

[02-Sep-15 17:36:30] Tobi: "I think it goes on until the game decides the cycle is over, and since there's always a new session somewhere, there's always a Captor to go into it, even if their name isn't necessarily 'Captor' at the time."

[02-Sep-15 17:44:54] Dave: You reach out and touch his cheek gently, making a soft shooshing noise. Being too serious ruins the fun. It's not like you actually enjoyed any of their pain.

[08-Sep-15 03:56:02] Tobi: You huff indignantly at the shooshing. "rude."

[08-Sep-15 05:46:46] Dave: The pronouncement of you as rude is met with a shrug. Probably also a bite or a sip of something you've picked up along the way. "No one's ever disagreed that I have a dearth of manners."

[08-Sep-15 05:48:13] Tobi: "This is true. However... kind of insulting to shoosh a troll when you're not the diamond."

[08-Sep-15 05:55:37 | Edited 05:55:49] Dave: "I could be going for the stand in diamond. Diamond lite. Chill dude. You know I didn't mean it seriously, but if me dicking around bothers you that much, I won't do it again." You hold both hands up in surrender, since you're contrite for any serious insults occurring here.

[08-Sep-15 05:58:15] Tobi: "My instincts can't tell the difference, even if I can... I have trouble with Star shooshing me still and we're marriedsprits..." You carefully ease his hands down. "Biologically human right now. It's ok. It's just a future reference thing"

[08-Sep-15 06:10:31] Dave: You snort and smile a little at the bastardized term 'marriedsprits.' You think that's adorable, and it will never not be the epitome of cute. "Yeah, well you're a troll ninety-nine plus percent of the time, so it won't happen again. Hands will stay firmly away from the face if I've developed a small leak."

[08-Sep-15 06:30:52] Tobi: You smile weakly. "I mean it's not a terrible thing I'm just more sensitive because I haven't had a proper Moirail in like... almost a full sweep... and for a cool blood that's... not recommended so its just safer you know?"

[08-Sep-15 06:38:05] Dave: You dip your head, agreeing with him. Even if it was just 'don't do it because I don't like it,' it's totally chill with you. "Nah, it's cool. I get it. I hope you can get yourself some proper pale action soon. And I'm still here on the bro level if you ever need anything till then. No strings attached."

[08-Sep-15 06:46:46] Tobi: "Good man, best friend." You give him a grin and pat his shoulder. "You'd probably be first on my court list if I thought it'd be ok..." But he's pretty sure Dave and quadrants don't mix

[08-Sep-15 07:10:59] Dave: "Caw," you retort, in lieu of the bark that would normally go there. Can't be infringing on Harley territory, after all. As for the rest of it, you suddenly become interested in something in the distance. You can still barely handle yourself most of the time, let alone someone else. "Dunno. You should probably stick to someone who knows what the hell he's doing."

[08-Sep-15 10:45:20] Tobi: "Yeah... probably rules out Karkat" you snort.

[08-Sep-15 11:21:31] Dave: "Ours or any of them?" They're probably all at least marginally maladjusted, but it's important to clarify.

[08-Sep-15 11:23:52] Tobi: "Yeah...yes." You snort. "Every last one of them and their dancestors too...they're all hot messes that don't know how to pale quad to save their lives.

[08-Sep-15 11:32:41] Dave: "Wow. That's quite a statement. I can't believe you've managed to meet all of them and make a detailed assessment of their love life. Where did you find the time?"

[08-Sep-15 11:33:58] Tobi: "I was dead for eight years."

[08-Sep-15 11:44:19] Dave: "Mhmm. And how many of those were you coherent for?"

[08-Sep-15 11:45:02] Tobi: "I was fairly coherent for a lot of things... Just because I had frequent backtracks doesn't mean I didn't have a cohesive thought process..."

[08-Sep-15 11:50:03] Dave: "I somehow doubt assessing Vanti everywhere as potential palemates was high on your list of priorities." You're mostly just teasing him and being an ass, so hopefully he realizes you're not serious here.

[08-Sep-15 12:06:09] Tobi: "Oh no. I was more occupied with Vriska's problems, but you kind of can't miss the horribly unsuited attitudes of the Vanti..."

[08-Sep-15 17:30:27] Dave: "Sure Judgey McJudgealot. Whatever you say. We ready to call it a trip, or you got something else we ought to be doing?"

[08-Sep-15 20:57:59] Tobi: "I think we're done here..."

[09-Sep-15 04:53:13] Dave: "Sweet. Then let's make like a tree and Santa Claus." Yes, you know there is almost no semblance of sense in that sentence. You intended it that way.

[09-Sep-15 06:50:11] Tobi: You turn to face him properly, eyes wide and concerned "w... what?"

[09-Sep-15 07:09:40] Dave: Welp. That was about the reaction you'd expected. You're definitely laughing at him on the inside, but you have enough courtesy to only smile about it. "Leave and hand out gifts to all the good little ones. Hell, maybe we'll even have a shindig to do it. Invite the whole gang. Maybe one or two will actually show up."

[09-Sep-15 07:22:01] Tobi: "Hell yes. Let's do it... just have to figure out where." You beam, leading the way outside. "Fly back or walk?"

[09-Sep-15 07:35:46] Dave: "You really think flying is a good idea?" Not that you're completely objecting, you're just not terribly sure it's the best plan in civvie territory.

[09-Sep-15 08:18:01] Tobi: "I can break down into wind and appropriate cloud cover.... and who would be watching?"

[09-Sep-15 08:27:01] Dave: You seem to be considering it, but mostly you're just moseying into a place where fewer people will be disrupted by an abrupt disappearance. "Pfft. Fine. Freezing shit for a second while we move won't hurt anything." You have conveniently done this while saying it. "Wind yourself up then, and let's go."

[09-Sep-15 08:28:23] Tobi: You're mostly broken down before the sentence leaves his mouth, holding together just enough for a decent impression of a Cheshire grin

[09-Sep-15 16:29:15] Dave: You ignore it, this most certainly being a regular occurrence. The anti-static time half cylinder encompasses both of you until you're well up into the air where you wait for him to get clouds in order. In retrospect, you don't really need him to do this at all, but why not let him have his fun too?

[09-Sep-15 16:31:54] Tobi: You pull at the clouds, wrapping them around him loosely. "Let's go~"

[09-Sep-15 16:46:26] Dave: Once you're well covered, which you make a brief note to take a 'selfie' of, then immediately do, you're off. Flying's much faster than walking, even without any tricky time stuff, so you're back to the apartment area in no time, pulling the same trick as you used to get up just down the street from the place.

[09-Sep-15 16:47:59] Tobi: You wait till he's down then slowly reform yourself on the ground, pulling yourself back together with an amused grin

[09-Sep-15 16:50:31] Dave: "You enjoy that far too much for your own good," you tease, tucking your hands into your pockets and making your way to the apartment proper.

[09-Sep-15 20:09:02] Tobi: "Nah... I enjoy it just the right amount... I mean it's the one power I didn't have when I was dead. Now I can do it whenever I want. I can control whole weather patterns, and push a fucking GIANT landmass around in the sky! I can play music on my denizen's castle ANY TIME I WANT. I mean how cool is that?" You drift up the stairs, barely even putting in the effort to actually 'climb' them.

[10-Sep-15 19:58:19] Dave: "You're gonna be not dead basically forever now. Try not to use it all up at the starting line. And I dunno. Maybe it's just me, but I had quite enough of the denizen's den when we had to be up close and personal with them. On the other hand, planet sized pipe organ." You climb them the old-fashioned way. Stairs, they do a body good.

[10-Sep-15 20:10:18] Tobi: "Right? Fill the night air with some music... The salamanders love that shit." You grin, opening the door up for the both of you. Stairs are overrated.

[10-Sep-15 20:26:55] Dave: "The salamanders seem pretty easy to please. At least they don't cook you to say hello. I would still seriously like to know where the crocs got that idea." You don't even comment as you pass through the door. Stairs are rated exactly where they should be.

[10-Sep-15 20:42:12] Tobi: "I default to blaming the other trolls." Once you're both inside you pull the phone out and shut the program off, relaxing against the wall for a moment as you settle back into your skin.