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me: okay so are we just gonna forget the literal, actual torture and imprisonment and ridicule and emotional manipulation that Hylia/Zelda put Link through canonically while you are trying to police me on my ship when I was just minding my own business or

Hmm,, Dimentio has always been super calculated in canon. The only reason Dimentio failed and lost was purely becuase he didn’t account for the fact that the pure hearts came back somehow(?) (which I still have some issue with because that feels a little bit like it got pulled out of nowhere). So Dimentio is the least likely. Not chaosless... but not senseless. Smart Lad.

That leaves us with an angry grape and a solitary confinement survivor. Marx is also pretty scheming, but if his star allies pause screens are anything to go off of, he would also be willing to probably sell someone off for a corn chip at any given moment. Jevil doesn’t really seem to have any schemes, but then again we literally find him in prison. With that said, he’s definitely smart, enough to have the same 4th wall capabilities as sans.