#echo logs

PLAYBACK INITIATING:…

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Argent: time is ”O’seven hundred hours” Meridian Standard time, in present is Argent Welfeller, commander for “Mission Control', and Jackson Temat commanding mission field officer. We are go for recording

Jackson: well where to start really, this is quite an interesting case.

Argent: that is precisely why I feel she will be exemplary for this job-

Jackson: but can we even trust her? I mean look at her file… it’s empty

Argent: unfortunately this job doesn't quite gift us the luxury of trust, which is why caution is imperative, precisely why I have brought you along with me. You know ‘people’ better than anyone, especially those- well you know, how do you say?-

Jackson: psychos?

Argent: Well yes, to be frank. Anyway we came here to talk about the subject, so that we shall.

paper shuffling

Argent: clears throughout subject 01 has been identified as Jackal, many details remain unknown but enough can be revealed to know she should perform well under set circumstances.

Jackson: apparently no underlying health issues, except for partial blindness? Gen, didn't you say she used to work for an elite Hyperion sniper unit? How can she be ‘partially blind’ if that’s the case?

Argent: she stated she obtained the condition after her time with Hyperion. She mentioned being a part of something going by the ‘Desert Dogs’ unit but that is all we are able to uncover about her, and all she was willing to talk about in her previous interview.

Jackson: what? Desert dogs? That unit got shut down nearly, god, 30 years ago now… you're telling me that’s 30 years worth of this woman’s life we don’t know?

Argent: oh you are aware of the unit? But we are unaware of probably more, she only provided us with her records and data from when she was in the unit, conscripted from when she was 13 as she says, god knows who, or what even could have indoctrinated her before then

Jackson: good god… and she’s 53? Gen, I don’t like this one… why would she feel the need to hide her entire past. And for fucks sake, her face as well, we don’t even know what she looks like, parading around in that holo-mask of a damn dog's head. Gen what the fuck are we doing with her?

Argent: patience Jackson, there’s no need for that. She’s a hired gun, looking for money, a bounty hunter if you will, she approached us about the job. I have reason to believe she has come under no ill intentions. You work with ‘criminal bounty guild’ associates do you not? If she is true in her work of bounty hunting, then wouldn’t they have flagged a ‘holo-mask’ wearing rouge with a bloody good affinity for snipers as a danger?

Jackson: shuffling well… no, you have a point, but still the fact that there’s so little says a lot…

Argent: well, you are the expert when it comes to these people are you not?

Jackson: Yeah…

Sigh

Jackson: You know… I’ve heard stories, from Hyperion, of ‘desert dogs.’ And how they tried to ‘sweep it under the rug’ when they had to shut the unit down. No one really knows what happened, unless you were there, or in my case know too many people too well. Hyperion’s elite sniper unit, best of the best, could shoot a target dead from ‘hundreds’ of feet away. A truly superb group. So why did they just vanish… And why did the members all end up dead

Argent: Dead you say? Pray tell, truth be told I’ve never heard of this, but I believe your word

Jackson: snorts you see Gen, it pays to be in the business with people, you end up knowing far more than you should. And I suppose this information may be useful

Jackson: the bodies were ‘never found’, only that there was no activity from the unit when they were desperately needed and people got suspicious, conveniently at that time Hyperion had sent them out on a ‘private’ investigation which ended up with a ‘bullet through each of their skulls…’ all were accounted for, accept one, apparently. All evidence of this was ‘bleached’ from corporate records and any evidence of the unit ever existing went right along with it…

Argent: well what do you suppose?

Jackson: someone had Intel they shouldn’t have, something that could lead to the end of the company. But it’s still standing… so maybe they got em’. But anyone who knows about ‘desert dogs’ had to have been there, and I have reason to believe our girl jackal is that missing dog.

Argent: well, quite the story and accusation, but I trust your judgement. So, after all that are you comfortable saying you trust her?

Jackson: trust her? laughing GOD no, the last person I’d ever trust is her! God she'd have a knife in your back the minute it’s turned and I’ll put money on it laughter continues

Argent: oh, well that’s quite a shame, well I suppose she will be an unsuitable candidate then.

Jackson: unsuitable? UNSUITABLE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND! Gen if she says she is from desert dogs, and by god from looking at her records she provided are what I’d call SOLID PROOF, then you have yourself the greatest damn candidate for this mission we could have asked for.

Argent: ah! Splendid, I was hoping we’d get here. Now all 4 candidates have been approved I do believe it’s time for the mission to get into motion don’t you?

Jackson: absolutely, I’d love to meet with them all for a proper briefing on the matter

Argent: as you wish, 3 days shall be ample time for preparation

Jackson: beautiful, let’s go get us a vault key

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Tyreen: Do bandits even wash their hair, Troy? Bandit 1: KILL THE SIREN WITCH! Bandit 2: BURN HER! Bandit 3: She already marinated herself in blood and ratch milk! I say she's ready for the fire! Let's barbecue her! Tyreen: Oh, PLEASE try. Bandit 3: [shriek] Bandit 2: What the hell did she do to Jaw Breaker? Badit 1: Flee in panic! Trample all in your path! Bandits: [wails] Tyreen: That went well. Troy: Shit. Sorry, Ty. Guess I got a few kinks to work out. Tyreen: We just leaned something useful, though: everything is food to a bandit. At least we have SOMETHING in common.

Log 2

Bandits: [scream] Bandit 1: Look! It's that Siren Witch again and her sickly brother! Troy: Go on. Like we practiced, Ty. Tyreen: Very well. "Open up your eyes! The corporations spelunked your rib cages and defecated in your dream boxes!" Tyreen: --Horrifying. Bandit 1: Burn her! Bandit 2: No, wait-- I will listen. Tyreen: "The Vault Theives let the air out of your meat bicycle tires!" Tyreen: I'm not sure I get that one, Troy? Troy: No-no-no-no-no, trust me, I did my research. Keep goin'. Tyreen: But they're sharpening their teeth with rusty blades and wiping blood on their tongues. Troy: Oh, that means they like you! Tyreen: Fine. Ahem. "I am Tyreen, Child of the Vaults, God-Queen of Pandora. The desert bore me from its slag-salted crevice!" Tyreen: [vomiting noises] Bandit 2: Ohhh! The Siren blesses us with stomach gravy! Bandits: [cheers] Tyreen: Join me, my Eridium-blighted family! And together we will conquer Pandora and spread out planet by planet, until the entire universe is ours! Bandits: [cheers] Troy: Heh, vomit was a nice touch. Tyreen: Thought you'd like that.

Log 3

Troy: You have to talk to them, Tyreen. Find out what they want, and promise it to them, even if it's a total lie. That's what leaders do. Tyreen: Fine. Tyreen: So, you there. Yes, you with the dog's ear sewn to your mouth as a makeshift tongue. What do you want? Tongue Bandit: Hrlrlrghrhrl, ghrhrurghlrrrr... Tyreen: Never mind, shut up or you'll swallow your tongue-thing. How about you over there? Tell me your dreams, and I'll make them come true, I swear on my brother's life. Bandit: My dream? Yes-- yes, my eyes drip salami juice. The moon has stolen my gut beans. Then, the Vault Hunter comes. With a hundred arms, firing, laughing! I try to flee, but my legs have traitored me-- a betrayal of the ground! I am cheese, full of holes and stinking! I... I... gahhghgh! Tyreen: Follow me, and you will never die! Never age! Never be hungry again! And the only tears you cry will be the tears of sweet victory... as we head towards the Great Vault! Bandits: [cheers] Troy: The Great Vault. Agh, that is some good shit, Ty. I can work with that.

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Log 2