Anonymous said: Couldn't say I am surprised. Since her choice to go to Zambia I felt a break up was coming at one point. Zambia was something she needed to do as a person but not something that their couple couldn't endure with their already so little time together. Finding your love before you found yourself, hard. I feel a bit bad for Jamie who appears like the bad one who break their 2 hearts. But I feel that he was the more dependent of the relation, she grew in Z outside of him. He needs to do the same. 

So, I think they both grow up while being apart, and that’s difficult. Zambia was important to Claire, and it was something that cost to Jamie (he was never happy about it). They both do what they need to do for themselves, and they decided together that they will support each other and their dreams. After all, Jamie went to Michigan because that was his big opportunity to become a swimmer.

Claire is more down-to-earth. She realizes pretty fast that being in a long-distance relationship means that they won’t be as they were back in Scotland. Jamie knows it too, on a theoretical level, but in every-day life, he finds it harder to adjust. Claire gives as much as she can, and wants to be there for him, but she isn’t perfect and she doesn’t demand much from him, either. Jamie, on the other hand, needs to be in touch with her more than she does. He expected more from her and he is disappointed that things don’t work as he thought they would. So he believes it is better to continue on his own, because the long-distance is hard for him to cope with and it won’t get easier any time soon. I don’t know if we can say that he depended more on their relationship -- they both did, but in different ways. Claire was devastated when he said he wants to end it. 

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Anonymous said: I have to said that I glad about the break up. Until now, and this is only my opinion as a reader and I respect your view on your own story, I found that JC handled thing a bit too good to be true for 2 less than 20 years old in a long distance relationship. Never jealousy, almost never a fight, only few missed opportunities.. so now I am really excited to see where you will lead things!!

Well, that was one of the few comments saying someone felt good about the breakup! (it’s kind of refreshing lol)

I don’t know if their relationship seemed ideal for you till now, nonnie. I didn’t think so, myself. After leaving the high-school bubble, they were determined to make it work and tried to adjust to the changes, being patient with each other. 

This story is written for Claire’s POV, so we get to see only her side. Jamie, though, always expected that they would find a routine that will work for both of them once Claire went to Oxford, and they would see each other more often -- something that didn’t happen. He had different expectations than Claire, and didn’t talk to her about his real concerns until it was too late and he had already decided that he couldn’t go on anymore. 

Anyway! I’m happy you’re excited for what follows!

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Anonymous said: This was so painfull... he was the one with a proposition in another continent and now he complains about her lack of presence in his life. It was so unfair from him and I am almost always on his side in their fight. But I am glad he opened up about Zambia, it was clear that he agreed because he knew she needed it but it was too much for their fragile long distance begining and she failed to notice it. But Damn Jamie if you think it will be less painful after a break up, you will still miss her

Claire demanded less from Jamie than he did from her. She knew that things would be really hard if he went to Michigan, but she would never say anything to make him stay. She wants the best for him. 

Jamie wants the best for her too, but that doesn’t mean that he will always like her decisions and that they won’t affect him and how he feels. It really cost him that Claire didn’t stay in Michigan before her term started in Oxford. He had imagined things would be difficult and he goes through a difficult phase right now and is overwhelmed. So, for him, the relationship isn’t working. It pains him to end it, but he thinks this is not what he needs. And he believes Claire will be better, too, because he thinks that her priorities are different now and she should focus on them. 

And, yes, he will miss her. You’re absolutely right. 

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@quizzicalstuff said: OMG. I had a feeling he would do this, I had a feeling he would give up. Has he met someone who is there, someone who can be a physical presence, someone like Laoghaire? You just tore my heart out and Claire's as well. He made it sound like he wanted to move on to someone, that he needed a person in his life with him now and she was not there. That broke my heart. But I also saw how Claire was pulling away from him too, doing things she wanted to do without considering how it affected them. 

I know it is not an ask and I already expressed my sorrow but now I am so sad that he is breaking up with her because he wants her to be there with him, he wants a relationship with a body and not a phone, but that is not love!! He says he loves her but cannot love her at a distance? Is that what he is saying? You said there were only a few more chapters, can you fix this? Will he come to his senses before it is too late or will we go years into the future and reunite when they both have kids?

Jamie’s speech was more about how much he misses Claire, and how difficult it is for him to cope with the distance, than needing another woman right now. He needs Claire, and he can’t have her the way he wants. So, even though he thought they would make it work, he realizes that he can’t. It’s immature, but Jamie is so very young and he found himself in a long-distance relationship that is different from what he had imagined and he thinks that it will only get worse. He’s very stressed at the moment too, and that doesn’t help. But I wouldn’t say that he doesn’t love her. Maintaining such a relationship is really difficult. 

Claire, on the other hand, was overconfident on their relationship. She thought they could endure anything (and maybe she could, but he didn’t).

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@ecapasso said: I truly love this story and appreciate the time and detail you put into it. I only want to know if you publish on a schedule or at random? May sound foolish, but I read the first 57 chapters over two days, having no idea when the next might come. 58 was heart wrenching so I need to prepare for the wait kind of like Claire kept waiting for Jamie to reply. 😥Thanks😉

Thank you for your kind words, @ecapasso!

Unfortunately, life is really busy at the moment, so I don’t have a schedule. I will try to update next week, but I haven’t written a word yet, so I promise nothing! I’m sorry!

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Anonymous said: Your story broke my heart... 💔 💔 💔 is it too soon to ask when the next chapter is coming? I feel so badly for Jamie and Claire! We need these two working out this problem asap!!! 👨🏼‍🦰📲🙍🏻‍♀️🛫🛬💑

I know, I know! I’ll do my best! I literally thought of three different scenes for the following chapter today and I had so many things to do that I have written nothing. (ps. sorry for the broken heart!)

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@capitucapitucapitu said: I know we only learn from mistakes, but this hurts too much. I hope Jamie will be able to realize how stupid he was soon - and that Claire will be able to forgive him. 😘😘

I think I’m always saying this for this story, but they are young and they have to learn! Jamie thought that breaking up with her was the best thing to do since the distance was really hard for him. Claire hadn’t even thought they might break up after Paris. So... yeap. Now they will get a taste of living without having each other at all. Thank you!! 😘

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Anonymous said: This situation is just heartbreaking. None of them was right or wrong. Yes he puts the first 'difficulty' by moving to USA but she add the 2nd by working in Zambia. They both did what they had to do for themselves but it wasn't the best for their couple. They are young and passionately in love and dependant of one another and in their first important relation. So yeah being separate is harder here. It's not fair to blame Jamie because he is the one who face what didn't work. Or Claire either btw

This! There is no right or wrong! They had different expectations and they saw their relationship differently. Claire was in a low-maintenance mode. She didn’t demand much for him and tried her best to be there when he needed her. Jamie needed more, though, needed something different. He had imagined that the distance wouldn’t change them that much, and that once Claire went to Oxford their routine would get better. Is breaking up the solution? In his mind, it is. It may be immature because he still loves her, but he is young and this is not completely irrational, considering that they both have their dreams to follow.