A theme in my life over the past few months has been remembering. Not the kind of remembering that involves sad nostalgia, but the kind of remembering that causes you to be grateful. A while back I read through 1 Samuel and was struck by the significance of the Ebenezer stone. Samuel laid down a stone and called it Ebenezer, declaring to the people, "Till now has the Lord helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12) Israel had just miraculously won a huge battle against the Philistines. Samuel saw fit immediately after to not only pause and thank the Lord for defeating their enemies, but to remember all the good things He has done for them until now.
This story made me realize how often I dwell on my current problems, anxieties, or imperfections and how little I consider the great things he has done for me. (1 Samuel 12:20-24) That despite my many shortcomings and constant struggle with sin, the Lord has been faithful to me.
I was reminded of this again today after listening to the sermon taught at church and reading a friend's blog (read it here). So I am remembering now, and my heart is filled with worship.
It is so easy for me to compare my life to others' and decide that I am doing something wrong. It is easy for me to get caught up in my fear of not being enough. But when I look at my past and see what the Lord has brought me out of, I do not doubt that he will continue to refine, prune, and water me until I am "perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:4) I must only remain steadfast, and the best way for me to cling to His promises is to remember how many times he has already fulfilled them. The most important being his promise of new hope through his son, Jesus.
That being said, it is still easy for me to get discouraged. I struggle against feeling like a failure, a backslider, and generally a "bad Christian". (I'm not even sure what the means.) But if I remember the most vital, life-giving part of my faith, I remember that Jesus took the wrath for my sin, knowing full well how many times I would turn my back to him, and that even the best, most moral things I could ever do cannot earn me righteousness. It was freely given to me through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ despite my failures. Through my salvation, through the Gospel, I am clean.
So I will remember his faithfulness, remember his mercy, and above all remember Jesus.
