#ebear

SINGLEHOOD. n. The state of being unmarried.

And that's how the dictionary defines it. Let's add up to that! We can define singlehood in many ways. Singlehood is:

a wanted and an unwanted label  

a deviation from the norm

a less and more famous status

IN RETROSPECT: I was not bothered by this word/thought/situation. When I think of being single, no question ever arose in my mind. It's just a normal thing. Who the heck cares? I am happy so why bother? We are happy so who would mind?

In our group (EBear/EGang), singlehood is a rare topic of discussion; we almost never talked about and if we did, it was unpremeditated. We all are singles (except for Mama Bear obviously). Ask us why? You would have heard these cliches:

"I am really concentrating on my studies."

"It's not on my plans yet."

"It's not yet my time."

"I don't have time for that."

"I'm waiting for the 'right' one."

"I don't want commitments."

"I want more freedom."

"I just chose to."

PERIOD. END OF DISCUSSION. I didn't really care though many have asked "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" For me, it was never a big deal. Why make a big deal out of it? Am I in a rush? Why making me rush? Chiiiiiiillax!

---------------------------------------------

PRESENT: And now, after years of being together, a pal and I who are time and miles apart just talked about it (don't ask how and why though). We are past our teenage years, we are young adults, legal age so as to say. And we are still being followed by the question: "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" Aside from the answers above, we can add these up to the list:

We're not that socially exposed.

We're busy with work.

We look everywhere else but or look past guys.

We've got so much career thinking to do.

But in deeper thought, why? Are we really harnessed by work and career goals that we remain single? When would we think of putting 'commitment' into our plans? Can't we allot time for more social interactions? When is the 'right' time? Where is the 'right' one?

----------------------------------------------

PERSONALLY: I believe that being single can be caused by one, two, or all of the following:

Definitely the will of God. It's maybe a cliche but everything has a reason. And being single has a reason beyond our knowledge and assumptions. God has plans for each and every one of us. We may cross out singlehood soon or we may retain it for the rest of our life. I know attributing it to something bigger than ourselves tend to be the common action, but this just tells us to refrain from overthinking and just rest on the unknown. Have a little faith.

Can be a matter of choice. I choose to be single and so I am single. I choose to be unattached and so I am unattached. And here we come to self-attribution. I believe that we do not have to attribute singlehood to our flaws as a person. Come to think of it, even the ones in a relationship have their imperfections as well. So veer away from self-doubt. It does you no good.

Contentment with the love we are receiving from family and friends. We have so much love in our life that we tend to overlook and be unaware of the special love a person gets in a relationship. We are satisfied of what we have and just be grateful of what is yet to come.

Why am I/are we still single? Does it bother me now? Not really. Is it a big issue now? Not much. Am I happy? Absolutely.

We are still young. The world has so much to offer. Single or not, just enjoy what we have right now. Explore, learn, and grow. Don't be pressured by societal ideals, we are unique, we are unparalleled, we are singles. 

God has given us a family- families that showers us with sufficient love that we tend not to look outside of it; and that's a good thing cause genuine love is one of the things no one can take away from you. And take note, there is no expiration date to it. We are full of love coming from one another (EBear) which means we are lovable. So I think God's still writing our love story, we just need to ask him through praying if he can finish it so it can already be published...;)

-Lyra (March 28, 2011)