#easter aus

“if you think for a moment that i’m going to let you take this last easter egg on easter morning, you are severely mistaken.”

my kid and i didn’t get any eggs in the entire Easter egg hunt. so hey, kid, how about we play a different game called: “let’s-sabotage-the-rest-of-the-kid’s-eggs-by-cutting-open-their-baskets”

“HEY! Just what do you think you’re doing to my kid’s basket?!” “...Quick, run!”

only you would eat nothing but chocolate on easter and then wonder why you’re sick

“no, NO, no i’m not doing that!!” “please i bought them just for you!” “i’m not wearing the bunny ears!”

“i hope you know that you’ve ruined this entire holiday, okay kids time to go to sleep because apparently Person B is too much of a party pooper to wear rabbit ears -” “OKAY FINE JUST SHUT UP AND PASS THEM TO ME”

“i bet you can’t eat all that chocolate in ten minutes or less.” “challenge accepted.”

“in hindsight, this was not a good idea.” “fair po—I’M GONNA THROW UP” “Yup. Just - ew, that’s disgusting wtf.”

this is the stupidest easter egg hunt i’ve ever done, like what the hell do these clues even mean?!

“do you just want to buy some chocolate from the store?” “yeah. screw this.”

we’ve been in a really intense argument about which holiday is the best and jeez it’s OBVIOUSLY easter!! like, what are you on????

Easter is stupid, I say, as I stuff my face full with chocolate.

we’re decorating eggs for easter and yours are so delicate and neat whilst i literally just shoved a whole bunch of paint on mine and declared it ‘art’.

“c’mon! let’s spend easter looking for easter eggs!” “yeah, okay. let’s go then.”

“wait, what are you doing?” “you said look for easter eggs, i’m doing that?” “no, no, no! i meant ‘easter eggs’ as in movie easter eggs!”

listen, making flowercrowns is not supposed to be this stressful.

“I’VE BEEN DEFEATED BY ARTS AND CRAFTS.”

happy easter everybody! (and if you don’t celebrate it, happy holidays!!)

- jess