#e:blurb

@blindedbythelightt: Ohhh 1 with Ethan 😬😬

Name and presentation? 10. Taste? A 2, on a good day. Nonetheless, you felt quite put together with your Manhattan in your hand, newly manicured nails tinkling against the rim of the glass while you sipped at it, careful not to spill any down your dress. The wedding was crowded - the Dolan’s were a large clan after all, but close enough that everyone knew everyone enough to at least make conversation. 

You’d never heard of Lorenzo Dolan, or his new wife Destiny, until the save the date had appeared at the twins mailbox in LA almost 6 months ago. 

“He’s our second cousin on dad’s side, we used to fuck shit up at the family reunions in Long Beach all the time,” Grayson had explained. It didn’t surprise you, and you could picture a much younger Ethan and Grayson running down the beach alongside another dark haired boy. 

The surprise came two months later, when Ethan and Grayson were debating on whether it was too much of a ‘flex’ to wear Louis Vuitton to a family wedding. Ethan turned to you, a pair of dress pants in his hands. 

“Well, what are you gonna wear?”

“Huh?” You looked up from where you were lounging on Ethan’s bed. 

“Do you have a dress for the wedding?”

“I wasn’t aware I was going to the wedding,” you laughed, sitting your phone down on the comforter.

“What do you mean? You’re always my plus one.”

A/N: So uh- surprise! Lol I didn’t plan on posting this but I wrote it a long time ago and I haven’t posted in awhile so- also it’ll be a few before I post another story because I’m working on some really long plots rn. I made this so that if you want this to be Grayson-it’s Grayson but if you want it to be Ethan- it’s Ethan. Also this is inspired by Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

Word Count: I actually don’t know but it’s pretty short

Tag List: @episkygrant @georgia302 @pursuit-ofhappiness @persistence-ofmemories @pineappledols @fangdolan @cherryaestheticss (if anyone ever wants to be tagged please please please let me know 🥺 it makes me so happy when y’all ask)

Gif Credit: @vintagedolan absolutely amazing and thank you for making this gif for me

(Yes it is Ethan in the gif but no this story is not specifically about him :))

How I hate your ocean eyes.

The way they always turned bright blue like the clear ocean of summer whenever tears fell from them.

The way every time you stared it felt as though we were the only ones here, the only ones that mattered.

I hate how I fell into your ocean eyes.

You drowned me in your sweet innocent eyes like a rip current casts someone to sea.

I was lost in the oceans captured in your naturally beautiful face.

They always haunted me in my dreams, until one day.

When he came.

With his dark hazel swirls of complicated greens and brown.

They remind me of a forest, filled with light and hope.

His deep eyes; they held so many secrets, ones he wanted to share with me, unlike the way you kept things from me.

He made me forget about you, with his mesmerizing eyes.

When he doesn’t sleep next to me, your eyes still haunt me.

That’s why I asked him to never leave.

And he stayed.

I get to look into his hazel eyes everyday.

The warmness of them makes me feel safe. And loved.

Something your cold blue eyes never made me feel.

I never have to look at those icy blue eyes that shot daggers at me. Ever again.

He will always protect me from you, in life and in sleep.

So don’t ever come back.

*cracks knuckles* lets do this

ethan:

he’s a constant communicator. triple text you just to say hi type, send you a message when he sees a flower that reminds him of you

protective but in a quiet way. he doesn’t ever want to overstep and fight your battles for you, he’d be in your corner always, occasionally throwing in a very subtle subtweet if he can’t resist

literally buys you anything he thinks you’ll like, from a pair of socks with otters on them to a $5k ring, whatever he thinks will make you smile cause its his absolute favorite thing to see and doesn’t have a single hold up when spoiling you

he’s a big kisser. very rare that a cuddle session doesn’t evolve into a heated make out where he’s got you on top of him, loving the weight of you there

very intuitive about how you’re feeling, always knows what to say

tries to cook for you all the time, ends up with the smoke alarm about 50% of the time but he’s so excited that you’d never discourage him

on the mornings where he gets up early he’s literally carrying your sleepy ass out to the car so he can take you through a drive through to get coffee and go watch a sunrise 

always encouraging you in anything you pursue, your 5′11″ cheerleader

late night talks and adventures always, even if it’s just in the backyard. and then he’s so high off adrenaline and love that he keeps kissing you for hours so you can’t fall asleep 

lives for when you trace his tattoos with your fingertips - you do it so often that you can do it in the dark of the bedroom now and never stray from a line

loves seeing your relationship with his family, especially his mom, nothing makes his heart as warm as seeing the two of you interact with each other

I could go on for DAYS

grayson:

cuddle. BUG. always has a hand on you somehow if he can, big bear hugs when you get home from work with little “miss you”s in your ear even though it was just 6 hours

waking you up with kisses all over when you’re too sleepy for his early rising, coaxing you out of bed so he can make you breakfast and coffee

so damn protective. his temper gets in his own way sometimes and he’s there to literally put himself in front of you no matter what, even though he knows that you could do it yourself. he just feels like you shouldn’t have to

piggy back rides/carrying you around everywhere because ~touch~

planning little weekends once a month where its just you and him in some little air bnb somewhere

so detail oriented, he picks up on the tiny things about you and shows you that he loves you that way. remembers one less pump of vanilla in your coffee, picks up a crystal that’s your favorite color, buys extra strawberries at the grocery for you cause he knows you keep eating the ones in the fridge as midnight snacks

prefers to have you in his sight always - its comforting to him, a bit of an anchor. if he’s working on his laptop, he’s wherever you are

after a morning workout and shower he’s all about morning cuddles in bed even if it means he has to make it again. he’d do anything to have you wrapped up in his arms

forehead and cheek kisses at the most random times, anytime he passes you or puts an arm around you when you’re busy. but if you aren’t busy he’s giving you two, three, moving slowly towards your lips until he can get a real one that makes him smile and melt into you

always asking for back rubs and back scratches, just loves to have your hands on him. and he always returns the favor even if he gets handsy and distracted

basing this on when his acne was closer to its peak fyi

-----

february 2020

“Only if we order it in. Postmate it on my card.” 

He wasn’t doing well that day. Curled up on the bed with a hoodie and a beanie on, expertly pulled down over his forehead like he always so carefully placed it these days. 

“Okay, what do you want?”

“Usual.” His tone was short, and he was lucky that the two of you had been to Monty’s enough times for you to know that meant a double burger, fries, diet rootbeer and a coffee milkshake. It was a usual send day meal for him that was becoming a three-times-a-week-meal. 

You knew the turn that the evening would most likely take. 

You weren’t sure when it would hit him, become too much. You cuddled up to his neck, hoping that maybe tonight it wouldn’t be so bad. His arm curled around your waist, pulled you tighter against him. That was a good sign at least - on his worst days, he didn’t want anyone to touch him, not even you. It made you hesitant to even get up to go get the food at the door - who knew how he would feel when you got back into the room.

Grayson watched you with sad eyes when you answered the door, accepted the paper bags and drink carrier with a smile from the delivery man.

“He alright?” 

“Not sure. Hasn’t eaten much all day, but he said Monty’s sounded good.”

“That’s the third time this week.”

“I know.”

“It’s thursday.”

“Grayson I know.” 

“He’s self sabotaging Y/N, he’s just...”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, trailing off. His frustration was obvious - his usual tough love approach wouldn’t work, and every time he tried to talk to Ethan when he was in a low place about his acne, it never went well.

You were both surprised when you heard footsteps, bare feet soft on the floor as he made his way into the kitchen. 

“Did you get some too?” Ethan’s eyes followed their usual trail when he looked at Grayson - eyes first, then forehead. Smooth forehead. ‘Perfect’ forehead as E called it when he was pissed off mid acne-discussion. Your heart cracked a bit further when you watched him readjust the beanie, making sure it was covering everything it could, eyes dropping down to his feet. 

“Nah, I made veggie soup earlier. There’s plenty of leftovers if you wanna help me knock it out tomorrow. Can’t eat it all by myself.” It was his subtle way of offering a healthy meal without shoving it down his brother’s throat. 

“Yeah.” His eyes moved to yours. “Wanna watch another episode?”

“Sure,” you smiled, taking his hand as he headed back to the room. You unpacked the bags once you got settled on the bed, frowning as Ethan shifted around on top of the covers. 

“You good?”

“S’ hot in here,” he mumbled, wrestling with his hoodie and pulling it over his head.

His beanie fell with it, and you got a glimpse of the skin he’d been trying so desperately to hide all day. It was red and angry, agitated by the medicine he’d started on. They’d told him it would probably get worse before it got better, and it seemed like it had, even in just the first few weeks. You’d never seen him so unconfident before, so determined to hide from everyone, even you... even Grayson. 

He scrambled to get the black knit fabric, pulling to down over his head again, too far down. 

“You might be hot cause of the hat,” you said before you thought about it. His eyes flickered to yours - accusatory. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Right.” You tried not to take it personally, knew that he wasn’t trying to be short with you. But that didn’t mean it didn’t sting just a little bit. 

Dinner was consumed mostly in silence, the show neither of you were really watching playing mindlessly in the background, making it less uncomfortable. But it seemed like every bite made him more angry, more annoyed. 

By the time he got to the milkshake, he was scowling, almost spilling it when he sat it on the nightstand.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I keep doing this to myself. Grayson was right, I’m self sabotaging.”

You gulped around the fry you were trying to get down.

“You heard that.”

“You all weren’t exactly quiet,” he grumbled. “I don’t know why I keep doing this. I feel like shit, so I eat shitty. But then I feel even more shitty cause I ate like shit. It’s a fucking cycle and I don’t know how to break it.”

“I can help you with that. If you’ll talk to me.” You tried it, hoping maybe now would be the time he’d decide to let you in. The only time he was willing to talk about it all was when he was already at the breakdown stage, and that generally just consisted of you reassuring him and trying to comfort him. You’d yet to have a productive conversation about it. 

But he just looked at you, eyes unreadable. 

“I feel gross. I’m gonna shower,” were the words he finally chose. “I’ll clean up once I’m out.”

You watched him walk to the bathroom, closing the door behind him as the tears prickled in your eyes. Fighting them back, you gathered the bags and wrappers in one hand and his milkshake in the other before you headed to the kitchen. 

You were able to hide your face from Gray until you stowed the shake in the freezer. He saw the redness in them and frowned. He’d treated you like a sister ever since Ethan had brought you into his life, and he was as protective of you as he was anyone else. 

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N, you know he’s not himself right now. Whatever it was, he didn’t mean it.”

“He didn’t say anything Gray. That’s the problem, he won’t talk to me. I don’t know how to help him, and it’s killing me.”  

“Hey. C’mere.” Grayson was waving you over when you finally looked at him, and just that was enough to almost make you cry all over again. He stood up from his chair, wrapping you in a hug that was sturdy but soft at the same time somehow. He just held you for a minute, both of your worries unspoken but understood as you squeezed yourself against him. 

“All we can do is love him. That’s all we can do,” he said, and you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or to himself. 

You took those words with you when he let go, mulled them over as you went back to the room, heard the shower running behind the door. 

You brazened yourself for the rejection you knew was going to come as you went into the bathroom, stripping down and taking a deep breath before you pulled the shower door open. 

Ethan was standing under the water, letting it run over him as he stood perfectly still, a statue in the rain. He flinched when you wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing up against his back. He was vulnerable here, no clothes to hide behind. So you weren’t all too surprised that once you made your way around his form, hands coming up to his shoulders, then his neck and then his jaw, he caught your fingers, stopping them.

“Don’t.” He turned his head away from you, staring at the rough rock wall to your left, looking anywhere but at you.

“Ethan... please.”  

It took a minute, but he finally looked back at you, eyes sad and void of the Ethan that you knew, the confident, bubbly man that you’d fallen for so long ago.

“Don’t act like you don’t see them. Don’t act like they aren’t disgusting.” He couldn’t look you in the eyes when he said it. 

“No part of you could ever be disgusting to me. And of course I see them. But it doesn’t change how I look at you. I love you, no matter what.” You hoped with every fiber of your being that your words got through to him.

“You have to say that.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. You’re my girlfriend, it’s what you’re supposed to say.”

“Oh, right. Cause I’m being held hostage here. I’m choosing to be here because I love you. No amount of bumps on your face is gonna change that for me. Because you’re you. And I know you don’t feel like yourself right now, but I know you’re still you. And you’re gonna come out of this stronger. I know you are.” The words spilled out before you could stop them, and the tears did too. 

When he finally looked at you, you could tell he was crying too. He hadn’t found his voice yet, but you didn’t care. The way he looked at you told you everything you needed to know. 

As gently as you could you traced your hands up over his head, over the short soft hairs, and then around to his face. You knew they were sore, didn’t want to get more oil on them that could make it worse. 

You ran your fingers over them anyways, felt the raised skin, his skin, his face that he hadn’t let you touch in so long. So you cried. You both cried, let it mix in with the water as you traced over him, over and over, no hesitation to be found. His hands held onto your hips, fingers squeezing there as he let you touch him, let himself be felt for the first time since December. 

You stayed until the water ran cold, but you stayed close as you dried off, eventually collapsing back into bed in each other’s arms once you were dressed.

“Thank you,” he murmured once he tucked his face up against your neck. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” You let those words hang in the air for a few moments before you remembered something. “Question.”

“Answer,” he said, perking up a bit.

“Can we eat your milkshake now?”

He laughed, a delicious sound, before he nodded, rolling off of you so you could both get up and head to the kitchen. You talked while it thawed, your voices traveling down the hall and making Grayson raise his eyebrows. 

anon: Need to see you work your magic with #13 from the prompt list plzzz

By the third day, you were convinced you would go crazy if you didn’t say something. There was an awkward energy in the house between you and Ethan, and it only grew with each hour that you left the whole incident unaddressed. Even Grayson was avoiding you, not wanting to experience the awkwardness.

It had been an accident, you knew that. You were just changing out of your bra because it was uncomfortable. It would only take a few seconds - no need to lock the door.

Wrong.

It was a sequence of the door swinging open, a quick ‘oh fuck’, and a flash of a tattooed arm before the door slammed shut again. But you knew he’d seen your entire bare torso, boobs and all. It didn’t help the already existent sexual tension between the two of you, and it festered and festered, especially in the sideways glances he kept giving you every time you were close to him. 

So on Monday night, you finally cracked, walking right into his room. You didn’t knock - if he was naked, then the playing field was even again.

“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did! So, we’re gonna talk about it.”

He wasn’t naked. Actually, he was in a hoodie and sweatpants, lounging on his bed with his phone in his hand.

“Oh?”

“You saw my boobs, and now shit is awkward. And I don’t want it to be awkward. So we’re gonna talk about it.”

He swallowed hard. “Right.”

“I don’t know how to make it not weird. Any ideas?”

“I mean, I could show you my dick.”

“Absolutely not. That isn’t going to help anything.” You didn’t realize what you said until it was already out of your mouth. Ethan’s smirk only confirmed it.

“You worried you’re gonna like what you see?” He laughed, but his own stomach was fluttering. 

“No.” You answered too quickly, blood hot in your cheeks. 

He let the room sit in silence for a minute, let you look down at your feet for a while before he sighed.

“Y/N. C’mere.” 

When you looked up Ethan looked like your Ethan, warm and familiar and comforting. 

“Sometimes friends develop feelings. It’s normal. I think we’re both experiencing the same thing, cause I’m right there with you. And you’re right, it’s probably better to talk about it so we can figure it out as we go. I don’t think either of us are ready to, like, date, right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility. We just need to make sure we’re on the same page, cause I’m sure as hell not gonna lose you as a friend, okay?”

The awkwardness turned to an excited energy in the room as you realized that the feelings you’d been fighting for so long might not be so bad after all. You couldn’t fathom that they were reciprocated somehow, and you smiled at the thought. 

“Okay. Yeah, we can just talk through it as we go.” He offered you a reassuring smile, but you could see the excitement in his features. “Just knock next time, yeah?”

His brows pulled together.

“Huh?”

“Just so we don’t have another walk-in-and-see-my-tits incident.”

“Y/N... I only saw your boobs cause you flashed that car on the way home from Juanpa’s party last week. I was surprised you even remembered it honestly, you were drunk drunk.”

The pieces clicked together immediately - you’d forgotten in that moment that Ethan wasn’t the only one in the house with arm tats now.

anon: 34 “You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?” if you're still doing them and with whoever you'd like! ❤️

Ethan kept the house warm at night. Not as warm as he wanted, seeing that you liked it cold, but still warm enough for you to need a fan blowing your way while you slept. It filled the room with a nice blanket of white noise that kept the two of you curled up in each other’s arms while you slept all night. 

It also lead to a very frustrated two year old, who was too short to climb onto the king size bed by herself, and too quiet behind her pacifier to get her dad’s attention. 

“Daddy!” She called again, muffled by the paci, her little arms reached up to pull at the comforter. 

Somewhere in his subconscious, Ethan must have heard his baby girl, because he rolled over, his arm hanging over the bed, much to her excitement. She was just tall enough to reach up and tug on his fingers, trying to pull herself up. 

He thought it was a demon in the dark for a moment, the childhood fear of an exposed limb out from under the covers making his heart race until he heard a small grunt and a whine. 

His eyes adjusted slowly in the dark, but he would recognize that head of brown hair anywhere. 

“Maison?” He sat up enough to get a full view of her, in her little moon pj’s that he’d put her in before she went to sleep. “What’s wrong baby?”

She didn’t answer, only reached her arms up for her father, who was always there to pick her up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked again. “Bad dream?”

She shook her head, eyes still tired as she rubbed at them with tiny fists. Her head lulled forward on to his bare chest. He laid back against the headboard, still concerned until Maison reached up to pull her pacifier out of her mouth.

“Cuddles.”

He melted into a puddle. 

“You come to my room and wake me up at -” he looked at his phone - “4am, to cuddle?”

“Yeah!” She seemed excited about the idea, completely convinced that whenever she wanted cuddles, all she had to do was ask for them. “Miss-ed you.”

“God, how did I ever help make something as cute as you, hmm?” He sighed, shifting around with his baby girl so that she could lay on top of him comfortably. 

He knew her well enough to know that she’d be back asleep in a few minutes - she was no more a morning person than her father. 

yes yes the e girls have to eat too here you are my love 🖤

It’s all or nothing when Ethan’s feet hit New Jersey soil. It’s his stomping grounds, his favorite place, he knows it like the back of his hand. So when he gets to show it to someone new, show it to his girl? He’s over the moon. 

Needless to say, your days were jam packed. He took you to Lisa’s salon, to his favorite old coffee shop where he used to get hot chocolate on the weekends with his dad. He drove through his old neighborhood, pointed out his old house - you recognized the driveway and yard from some of their old videos. One night he and Grayson took you back to their old middle school, helped you hop the gate so you could lay out in the end zone of the football field they used to play on and watch the sunset.  Hikes, the skate park, a day in New York just for kicks - he makes sure you get the whole experience, get to see everything that screams Jersey to him.

You loved adventuring with him, seeing how excited he got to show you parts of his past that you hadn’t gotten to see yet. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t exhausting. By the fifth day you were yawning by 8pm, especially after the pasta that Lisa had made and insisted that everyone had seconds of. 

Lucky for you, there was something about a New Jersey evening that got Ethan so soft. Your interest piqued when he told you to wait inside with Lisa and he pulled Grayson out to the backyard without explanation, but you went with it, secretly hoping whatever he had planned wasn’t going to require too much energy. 

Ten minutes later Grayson peeked back in the door with a smile.

“I’ve been told to summon the ladies.”

“Oh, no you guys go ahead, I don’t wanna intrude-”

“Ma stop, we’re here to spend time with you. C’mon,” he reassured her, waving the two of you outside. Lisa looked at you and shrugged, both of you laughing as you headed out of the kitchen and to the backyard. 

The boys were over in the yard, lounged back in some chairs around the fire they’d worked to build, making you smile. You headed through the grass, watching a few fireflies light up in the woods on your way over. There were four chairs around the fire pit and you headed for the one beside Ethan.

“Ah! Where do you think you’re going?” He was grinning from ear to ear when you turned around to him with wide eyes. He patted his lap twice, almost looking offended that you had considered sitting anywhere else. 

He wasn’t going to take no for an answer, you knew that much. It felt a bit awkward to climb into your boyfriends lap, have his hand rest on your hip while his mom was right there. But when you got settled and looked over she was beaming, just happy to see her boy so happy. 

It was only a few minutes before the embarrassing childhood stories started, choruses of “oh god” “Ma” and “no, you can’t tell her that one” filling the night air, mixing in with the laughter, the crackling of the fire and the tree frogs song. 

Lisa made it to 9:30 before she decided to go in and Gray held out until 10 before he was nodding off and ready for bed. You thought that maybe Ethan would follow suit, but his arms just wrapped around you tighter.

“Finally get you to myself,” he murmured, his cheek resting against your forehead. 

“You had me to yourself all day,” you teased, shifting in his lap so you were facing him more fully. 

“So...” He lifted a questioning eyebrow at you like it was a stupid statement, making you laugh as his hand found its way under your shirt at your hip, callouses rough on your soft skin. “Can never get enough time with you.” 

You leaned in to kiss him, his lips soft and warm as they overtook yours. The kiss was slow, borderline lazy as you just felt each other out, getting closer to the warmth of each other, spurred on by the dwindling fire and the brisk evening air. 

“I love having you here.” He barely pulled back when he said it, but he was searching your eyes when you looked up at him. 

“On your lap?” You feigned innocence, getting the breathy laugh out of him that you were hoping for.

“Yeah, that too.” He squeezed you against him again for emphasis. “But I meant in Jersey. You know, here with my family.”

“Why?”

“I dunno what it is. I mean, I guess it’s just because I always pictured being in Jersey forever, when I was younger. So when I thought about being in love with somebody, I always pictured it being here. Thought about where I’d take a girl on dates, thought about her hanging out with my family. And now I’m getting to live that out, with you, here and now.”

His words took your breath away - he always found little moments like that, where you got a glimpse into everything that was going on in his head all the time.

“You were thinking about all that when you were in middle school? Before you moved to LA?”

He paused, leaning in to kiss you again instead of answering. His hand traced up your side, up to your cheek so he could hold you for a moment before he pulled away to answer, his words melting your heart.

oooo I love this idea

---

“Ethan. E, stop, c’mon, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” 

Despite your words, he continued to scratch at his leg, getting more and more frustrated as you tried to finish making him a glass of water. You gave up when it was half full with a sigh, moving to the couch where he had plopped down.

You sat the glass down on the table and caught his hand with yours, stopping him.

“What’re you trying to do?”

“I’m tryin’ to get this stupid fucking tattoo off because it makes me a hypocrite, and I don’t like hypocrites.”