#e!vibes

Like.

I know that rationally if I wasn’t a lot of people would be sad. I know that I’d be missed. I don’t want to do that to the people I love. And I don’t want to die like 98% of the time. But oh boy that 2%.

They loud af.

Cause…really why am I here? I don’t make that much impact on the world. I have friends but not that many. My family doesn’t ever really seem to want the real me around just the parts that are easy to digest.

If I’m to nurodivergent it’s a problem.

If I have a negative emotion I’m ungrateful. I don’t realize how good I got it.

I could be so much worse off.

And I’m just.

I know all that.

It doesn’t make not being seen by your parents hurt less. Not being heard. Misunderstood at every turn. Made fun of for the things I like. Told my music “forgot to have music” my tv is “just yelling” my hyper fixations are annoying.

I’m sorry for…having interests I guess?

For being ADHD and Autistic?

For being burnt out from having to mask 40 hours a week?

If I wasn’t here…would it really be that much of a difference?