Well wasn’t that fun. Week 01 provided everything we come to hope for from fantasy: high-scoring displays, low-scoring disappointments, and a seven-hour game where at least one QB scored a measly .004 points per minute. Thatcher lost to Kevin, Mitch did the usual against Goose, Jordan surprised everyone, and Corey’s team proved that they’re not getting too old for this shit just yet.

Before we get into the Mitch Kiper recap, a quick custom stat reminder:

Composite ppg: A blend of the player’s historical and current fpg performance. C-PPG is meant to assess a player’s overall value for more than one season. Naturally, rookies will be lower on this measure. C-PPG measures performance and proven value, not promise or potential.

QUICK AND DIRTY PREVIEW: WEEK TWO

Transactions slowed down this week, with only a few waiver pickups and roster moves. With the larger benches voted in this offseason, there is a dearth of talent readily available. For any teams looking to make significant changes, it looks like trading will become a more viable option. 

Here are the topics this week: Notable Pickup, Top Free Agents, Taxi Watch, Interesting Tidbits, and the already-controversial League Overview.

NOTABLE PICKUP:

Hammerfest Hammerfest – J-E-T-S D/ST 

Seems like the Svekis Family Robinson can’t stay out from under from Mitch Kiper’s magnifying glass. This team just loves making moves, and this week’s pickup lands them the spotlight once again. Granted, waivers and pickups were in single digits this week, but this was the most impactful move as far as Mitch KiperScore™ was concerned. Picking up the Jets boosted the Hammerfest from 8th to 5th in the league rankings. Of course, the major caveat is that our composite rankings this week are heavily influenced by only one week of play. They will eventually level out, but for now the Hammerfest can enjoy the temporary lift. Will the Jets be this year’s Jaguars? Mitch Kiper sure hopes not. 

Honorable mentions go to…

- The Helsinki Hellslinkies for Will Dissly TE. Right now, Dissly is inflating the hell out of the slinkies’s overall league ranking. Next week will likely bring them back down to earth… or at least further than usual.

Dishonorable mention goes to Gakusei Kai for picking up Joe Flacco QB. With Marcus Mariota possibly injured for Week 2, Jameis Winston suspended for three more games, and Baker Mayfield and Josh Rosen still sitting on their NFL benches, Kai was forced to pick up a 5th overall QB. Picking up Flacco gave them a boost over the Longships in total KiperScore, but that is small consolation. What a mess.

TOP FREE AGENTS:

It’s a sad, lonely world in free agency. But if you want to brave it, here are the top free agents according to cppg, and how they compare against some similarly-projected current rostered players:

TAXI WATCH:

Already we have a few candidates for promotion from Taxi to Lyft, which begs the question: what makes a quality taxi stash? Is it a player who promotes quickly, or a player who truly needs the time to develop so you’re not wasting the space? If you go by the former, Sam Darnold, Nyheim Hines and Dante Pettis are great stashes. If you consider the latter, perhaps their owners didn’t allocate taxi spaces smartly enough. The Wallabies, in particular, missed a massive chance to pick up a rookie FA shortly after the draft if only to fill that 3rd spot.

Of those taxi darlings, here are the ones Mitch Kiper thinks are most primed to pay their fare and GTFO of the taxi squad sooner rather than later:

GETTING OFF IN A BLOCK OR TWO:

- Dante Pettis: With injuries already hitting the 49ers, and the emergence of a clear chemistry between Pettis and Jimmy G, plenty of DFS and seasonal dynasty “gurus” are proclaiming Pettis to be a solid value pick. While the Longships didn’t have the worst week, KiperMetrics still project them as a weak team. They could use all the help they could get. Mitch Kiper heard rumors that Laeso turned down at least one offer for Pettis this off-season; perhaps their faith will pay off. Possible cuts to make space: Elijah McGuire, Adam Shaheen.

- Nyheim Hines: Mitch Kiper went on the record last week saying Hines was a likely promotion this season, and he sticks by it this week. A solid 8.7ppg Week One debut shows that the ZIMBAB RB has plenty of potential for more usage over the course of the season. Though Goose doesn’t need the help at RB, Hines may turn into a valuable bye week promotion during the mid-season lull. Possible cut: Rishard Matthews

ANTSY TO LEAVE, BUT STUCK IN TRAFFIC:

- Sam Darnold’s performance was impressive in real life, but it was not yet fantasy relevant. He’ll need to put up consistent fantasy numbers to merit a promotion, especially when the Wallabies can rely on Philip Rivers.

INTERESTING TIDBITS:

For those hoping for league parity, this screenshot should scare the shit out of you. Here are the top 6 RBs from last week:

On the plus side, Kamara, Conner, Mixon and Crowell prove that quality RBs can be found year-to-year, and in Crowell’s case sometimes in places you don’t expect... like, you know, your own roster.

Other than that tidbit, Mitch Kiper doesn’t have much this week, since 1.) Week One is way too small a sample to analyze anything of relevance (*INCLUDING THE JAGUARS PERFORMANCE*) and 2.) Mitch Kiper is adjusting his grading system this week based on some Week One observations. Next week, he’ll provide more, and a whole revamped Kiper 2.0 player grade. 

LEAGUE OVERVIEW:

Finally, the hottest of hot takes league overview. There has been a lot of movement, which is about what you’d expect after the wild swings and small sample size of Week One. Mitch Kiper has already noticed some interesting trends in how score changes based on real results as opposed to projections. He plans to spend the next week implementing some of these observations to make a more reliable and impactful c-ppg, weighted percentile, as well as a way to apply that to individual players for grades. But for now, here’s the overview. Next week, we’ll start comparing C-PPG ratings to the average scores so generously provided by Ben Buccigross.