#dylanxaaron

Denial Inconclusive Evaluations: 

When Aaron, first calculated the fact that he was in love with his bestmalefriend, the first place to go was denial, because it just wasn’t in his plan. And sure the plan was always shifting, altering and adapting itself to Aaron’s life, but the idea that ‘Falling in Love with Dylan’ was apart of it, just sounded more like a miscalculation than anything else. Which often was the case whenever a conclusion came to him in the middle of the night, stirring him from his sleep and making him scribble down a messy evaluation on whatever paper he had lying around at the time. And even then it wouldn’t be until morning; when Aaron had gone over his work again, that he would really let himself either linger on it or toss his new evaluation on his life aside as mere nonsense. When Aaron had gone over his words and his diagrams of the human heart; which had him almost certain his heart wasn’t working the same way as everyone else’s, at least not when it decided to do silly things like speed up, and yes, miss a beat when he was around his best friend lately, he decided that although his evaluation seemed sketchy at best, he would dedicate a few days to analyzing it. Which was exactly what he ended up doing, as he threw himself into a lockdown for a few days, pulled out his spare whiteboard, started going over the data, and drawing up new possible outcomes for his life that now also factored in the idea that he was and quite possibly always had been in love with Dylan Stewart. 

Conclusion: I’ve gone over my data for a total of three whole days now. And after factoring in the fact on how I feel about Dylan in a general sense, to how I feel when he’s with Bella, to how I feel when he’s wearing different outfits (red being the preferable color), I have come to the conclusion that there is a quite a big possibility that I (Aaron Weaver), have started showing early symptoms of what someone might deem as being in ‘love’. I have started to notice just how much time I spend time with him in one sitting without finding myself either incredibly bored or feeling inclined to correct him. Which, based on the calculations I made three summers ago on what I would need to find in a partner to deem her ‘dateable’, would once again prove that this evaluation of mine might just be plausible. My conclusion is that now, after three days of research and analyzation, that I need to set aside a few more days for this particular evaluation before I’m able to come to my final decision on the matter currently at hand. 

Anger Boiling point: 

There was this little thing called a Pundit square, that Aaron had drawn three hundred and three times since his last conclusion. He had drawn in Dylan’s features in some and his own in others, and there were calculations and numbers which analyzed the scale of both of them in all of them too. Thinking back on it now, as Aaron slipped out of his work attire and settled for white v neck and a grey cardigan to wear instead, was that if he wanted to blame anything on his unusual case of frustration last week he could blame it on the three hundred and three Pundit squares that now rested at the bottom of his recycling bin. What had ended up angering Aaron the most about the squares, was that no matter how many times he drew in the picture of Dylan, the science was exactly the same. Aaron Weaver thought Dylan Stewart was attractive; at least judging by the way he seemed to think about him at night, no matter what the Golden ratio said about it. Not that it wasn’t unusual for science and mathematics to disagree, but Aaron had still found himself throwing his whiteboard across his bedroom a total of 7.5 times; because one time his mother had walked in and he had been forced to launch forward and catch the board before it fell to the ground and made the count rise to an even 8. 

Conclusion: Once again signs point to the conclusion that I (Aaron Weaver) am in love with my best friend. Note for next observation: Don’t break the whiteboard. 

Bargaining Calm Negotiations: 

Thinking back on it now, as Aaron pulled on a pair of chinos and slipped on his favorite pair of vans, he had never really sat in church and asked God for anything before last week. Not even for a good grade. But after his ‘Pundit Square’ conclusion, he had gone up to his local Pastor and asked him if God was willing to make deals with boys who had been an exceptionally good Christians, at least according to the rule book, would he make a deal with Aaron? His pastor had of course raised his brow at his unusual and unorthodox behavior that day, but Aaron had stood his ground and demanded the Pastor connect him with God immediately, because they needed to have an important discussion that him as a simple minded commoner would not be able to fully grasp. In the end, Aaron had spent the duration of his Sunday conversing with what Science might say was just air or a mix of carbon dioxide and oxygen particles, but Aaron would say was both that and so much more. Aaron had asked, and quite reasonably too, if it was at all possible to perhaps take away his feelings for his best friend, so he could focus on his work instead. His answer, at least judging by the fact his feelings remained the same the next day was a solid no. His conclusion was then scribbled down into his field journal and read out loud to himself a total of thirteen times. 

Conclusion: Despite what I would deem quite a reasonable request for someone as powerful as God to offer me; a worthy disciple for sure, I’ve been answered with a solid no on the subject that I still believe is lacking some serious evidence and proof, but regardless I must accept as my next course of action and fully commit to it. Therefore, Bella Royce (former friend) will have to go. I’m going to have to ‘win’ over Dylan Stewart. First course of action: I’m going to have to kiss him. Note: Look up kissing again and make sure you’ve perfected it. Further notes: Learn how to do that thing with your tongue. 

Depression Mild Signs Of Woe: 

Looking at his watch, Aaron decided it was best not to crease his clothes and therefore it was best not to lie down on top of his bed as he waited for his best friend to arrive. Instead he pulled out his copy of ‘A Brief History of Time’ which he enjoyed highlighting all errors and rewriting in his own formulas and thought about his first kiss with Dylan and how it had quite possibly thrown him; Aaron Joseph Weaver into a stage of ‘Melancholy’. The kiss itself had been amazing, because it had felt like gravity itself was pulling him towards his best friend and everyone else be damned because he wasn’t going to fight it. It was what had come next that had taken him by surprise. Yes, taken Aaron Weave, by surprise. It was the idea that possibly, Dylan hadn’t thought the same way, that he was going to choose Bella instead. Which didn’t make sense. At least according to Aaron, who had drawn up about fifty conclusions that pointed he was the far better ‘bet’ than Bella was. That Dylan’s chances of success increased with having him by his aside rather than having her by his side. Yet, yet, Dylan seemed adamant that he needed to think, that he needed to work out his feelings, that he was still in love with Bella. And Aaron; in the simplest sense of the meaning, had been upset by it. His field journal hadn’t even got an entry at that point, because he had spent the whole day in his work attire on his bed, making up an excuse that he wasn’t feeling the best and avoiding the internet and his cellphone. 

Conclusion (in thought process): I suppose this is what it feels like to be without Dylan now. I suppose this is what it’s like to love someone so much you would ‘die’ without them.

Acceptance A Conclusive Evaluation:

Being stirred from his memory, Aaron turned towards the door where Dylan was standing and observed his best friend. And there it was again; the heart thing. Standing up, Aaron’s own smile began to mirror his best friend’s; big, wide, white, happy. “Hi.” He swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet, as he held himself back from walking over and letting his hand grip the fabric of Dylan’s shirt and hold him close. Just. “I --” He stopped himself when he realized, that perhaps Dylan hadn’t been asking, but mealy stating, so with an added nod (his own way of answering that he too understood the ‘connection’ that people had been talking about) he allowed Dylan to continue without interruption. When his eyes adverted down to his best friend’s hands, that didn’t just offer a simple trinket, but offered a relationship, one that until a few days ago Aaron hadn’t even wanted, he started to cry. Well okay, not cry, cry, but his eyes were wet and there was a lump the size of a golf ball in his throat and he was just too distracted to consider the science of it all, just that this sign of affection made his heart ache. “Dyl--” Once again he found himself being cut off, but he didn’t even care. He was barely able to form a comprehensible sentence anyway. Dylan just had a way of making him speechless. Stepping forward, after he was certain that no more words were going to slip out of Dylan’s mouth, Aaron finally rested his hand on his best friend’s chest, his fingers tightening around the fabric of his shirt, as he pushed his forehead against Dylan’s. Their breaths intertwined and it was familiar, yet not and all Aaron wanted to do was pull himself impossibly closer and really remember the scent of his best friend. Letting out a laugh, Aaron finally choke out his reply between a sob that he hadn’t realized he had been holding in till now. “Y-yes.” It was simple really and perhaps predictable, but he didn’t care. And then, he kissed him. 

It had been ten, no wait -- twelve years since he had seen him.

Everyone’s eyes were on the casket, but Aaron’s were on Dylan, and the crows feet at the corners of his eyes, the hair that was shorter than it ever had been in his life (or the part Aaron had been in it) and the tie that was most likely irritating the heck out of him. He had always looked nice in tux. Aaron felt his mother’s hand grip his shoulder, and his thoughts immediately jumped to how many hands she had shaken today, how many germs had she come into contact with, and that hangnail he had seen on her finger earlier, and he had to shrug her hand away before he lost it. He knew she wouldn’t be hurt though, she had long stopped trying to exorcize the crazy out of him, and then there was also the fact it was his wife’s funeral and she couldn’t exactly be upset at him, when he was the one meant to be upset today. 

Emma had never wanted a big funeral, so Aaron had tried to keep the numbers to at least under fifty, but in the end he just couldn’t help it that so many people had loved her. He would know. She had been an easy person to fall in love with. Once the priest was finished and he had given Aaron a small and most likely understanding smile, Aaron had turned back away and started making his way through the crowd where he could escape from people’s germ filled hands that were bound to be anxious to shake his own and offer their deepest sympathies along with the contact. It was flu season after all. 

In the end he hadn’t been quick enough and they had caught up to him. 

With his hands in his pockets, Aaron allowed Bella to lean in and hug him, but his eyes could never seem to leave Dylan’s. Was he still worried that he was going to kiss Bella again? She stayed close, rambling off about how the kids -- he forgot there were kids now, wanted to express their condolences; which Aaron had thought was weird, because weren’t they only just three? But held his tongue, because he thought it was one of those things where someone was just trying to be empathic or something like that and he was meant to be equally nice back, even if his wife had just died and all. He kept looking over at Dylan, not really sure why, because he was positive he would have just ended up saying something really stupid anyway, but regardless wanting him to say something, anything anyway. He didn’t. Instead Bella said something about finally seeing this house he had built; not really, Emma had done most of the designing/building, and how she wouldn’t be surprised if he had installed some type of bunker in the back yard. 

A Zombie Apocalypse was no joke, of course he had a bunker. 

There was something about meeting him back there, before Bella was leaning in again (she still smelled exactly the same, and Aaron found himself wondering if Dylan did too) and reminding him she would see him again soon. He figured, she must have thought he was still just as fragile as he had been in high school, and maybe he was, but he didn’t like that she still thought she was the only one to keep him together anymore. He had found Emma to do that for him when she hadn’t been there and he was sure he would be able to find someone else to keep him together now that Emma wasn’t around anymore to do the job. He didn’t need Bella anymore. 

Or so he told himself. 

Aaron watched, just before he climbed back into his car, as Bella leaned against Dylan’s chest, while Dylan wiped back her hair and kissed her forehead. And honestly, he couldn’t decide who he was more jealous of. 

---

Only fifteen minutes in, Aaron needed to get outside, his head was spinning, he had never had so many people in his house before. He had walked outside and let out a breath, his hands finding his hair and running through it once as he looked up at the sky and wondered if Emma was as concerned about their hardwood floors as he was right now. 

“You actually got a bunker.” 

Aaron spun around, his eyes widening as he looked over and took in the image of his best friend leaning against the tree outside, had he really just missed something? 

“Uh-- We always said we would.” His hands found his pockets again, as he relaxed and he took step forward towards Dylan. “You look old.” 

A laugh followed, a laugh that had been absent from Aaron’s ears for nearly twelve years now, and he couldn’t even tell why, but he wanted to step forward and hug him and never let go. Which wasn’t very Aaron-like at all, because it was completely impractical and besides he didn’t do physical contact much, but he couldn’t stop wanting to do it either.

“How are the kids?” Aaron remembered that ‘Socializing for Dummies’ book he had read one summer. Questions about kids and family were always a good start. But before Dylan could answer, or find his wallet where a stereotypical picture of Bella and his kids would certainly be in, Aaron took another step forward, “Did you watch the Red Dwarf marathon last week?” 

Of course he had. 

The next thirty minutes, was spent going over The Cat and his color coordinated internal organs, and Aaron loved it so much, that he didn’t even mind when Dylan started talking about Bella, or the kids, or the labradoodle they named ‘Aaron’. He even talked about Emma and how he loved her because she reminded him of Dylan, just with breasts and a womb. He smiled, and Dylan smiled, and he leaned in closer. 

He couldn’t tell how it had happened, or why exactly, but the space (that wasn’t really space, because there was oxygen, and there nitrogen, and there was--) had closed and Aaron was kissing his best friend, or his best friend was kissing him and it was kind of something that made sense when it shouldn’t. Aaron had his hand tightly wrapped around Dylan’s tie; finally loosening it for him, and he could feel Dylan’s hand somewhere through his hair, and then they were both pulling away with exasperated breaths. 

At first Aaron had thought, Dylan was going to be upset and walk away from him again, but when his eyes finally met Dylan’s he realized he was thinking the same thing he was; that he missed him. 

“We should watch next week’s Firefly marathon together? I could drive up and meet the kids and--” And Bella’s voice made him spin around, she said something about James? Wanting to say goodnight to his dad and Dylan was shuffling away, but not before he turned around and left Aaron with a smile that he knew so well, his ‘not even a Russian invasion would stop me’ smile. 

So Aaron was okay, with watching him talk on the phone with his kid, he was even okay watching Bella lean in and kiss his cheek, because deep down he knew Dylan loved him too. Even if they weren’t together the way he was with Bella, he loved him and that was all that had ever mattered.