#dykwer

So as some of you that have been following me since damn well near the early months of this blog’s creation, Sam used to date Chloe Dykstra. Their relationship began in June 2014 and quietly ended sometime in 2015. While they were together, the two of them seemed to be genuinely happy and very much in love. Hell, I encountered them together in real life with my own eyes when I met them back in May 2015. But sometimes you learn that even if someone appears to be happy with someone, that is not always the truth.

And that is what brings us to the catalyst for this rant.

Yesterday Chloe posted an article about her ex and his abusive behavior towards her behind closed doors when they were together. She didn’t give any names, but everyone knows that it’s about Chris Hardwick. And today, it’s blowing up all over the internet. Let me just say it was heartbreaking and hard to read. Honestly, I cried. Because of Sam, I formed a connection to Chloe. I got to meet her, talk to her, and hug her, however brief. But she was so incredibly nice and sweet to me. And even though she and Sam have been broken up for years, I still sporadically keep up with her and I’m still a fan. Which is why her words really resonated with me. And also because I’m not a cold and heartless human being that lacks empathy. I’m so proud of Chloe for finding the strength within herself to finally break free of Chris and his abuse, despite it being so difficult to do. I hope she has finally gotten the closure she spoke of wanting. And that Chris gets what he deserves. What he truly deserves. Because he is absolute scum. And even before all this came out and exploded all over the internet, I never liked him. I’ve read some stuff on twitter and people aren’t surprised about his behavior. I personally feel like I can’t speak much volume because I don’t know him. I have seen very little of Chris, but the vibe I got from him was just not good. I didn’t know why and I didn’t think about it, but now it feels like....intuition.

But tying all this back to Sam, Chloe does mention him in the article. Not by name, of course. But as someone who followed their relationship, I am absolutely sure that it’s him.

She refers to Sam as a “knight in shining armor”. Which, out of context, would seem so sweet. I don’t know Sam personally, obviously, but I feel like I have been around him enough to know that he is a genuinely good person.

I remember a couple years ago, I got an anon message asking me how I felt about Chloe “cheating” on Chris with Sam. After reading Chloe’s article, re-reading my response to the ask, and putting the pieces together, I feel a bit bad now. I had no idea who Chloe or Chris was before she was dating Sam. And none of us knew about what she was going through with Chris. But I never wanted to believe that Sam would willingly participate in infidelity. I feel like I might have swept that under the rug. I think maybe because I didn’t want to believe that someone I admired and respected so much would do something so.....problematic. And it was in the past. Sam and Chloe (and Chris) had clearly moved on from it. But after reading that article, it shines new light on everything. We still don’t know the whole story and we never will. Because that article wasn’t about her finding salvation in Sam, it was about being her trapped and breaking free to tell her story. Which I commend her for. I’m so proud of her for being able to find her light through the darkness. I wish her all the happiness in life.

Another thing Chloe mentioned was that after she left Chris, he used his connections to get her fired from jobs and furthering her career in the entertainment industry. She was completely blacklisted. Reading about that made lights and sirens go off in my head. Because back in 2014, Sam had been cast to be in a video game called Tales from the Borderlands. And who was his co-star? Chris Hardwick. Then a few months later, it was quietly reported that Sam had been replaced by Troy Baker. No explanation given. I remember being so upset because Sam had spoken of the job at cons and I always get excited when he has a new project. But I just brushed it off as perhaps there was a conflict between Sam and Chris in relation to Chloe....maybe? And in hindsight, to some degree, I was right. I just never thought it was that serious. Back then I was just upset that Sam lost a job. Whether Chris got him fired or Sam left on his own, I’m glad he was never a part of it.

So I'm definitely having some feelings about this whole thing and just wanted to vent about it. Because I am with Chloe. I believe her 100%. She or any women who have came/come/will come forward about abuse have nothing to gain from lying. The women who share their experiences have more to lose than their abusers. We as a society are getting better at rectifying this, but we are not entirely there, as Chloe said. 

That being said, please DO NOT bring this to Sam. I beg for you to NOT tweet him about it. So far, so good. But I’m sure it will get to him if it hasn’t already. But I don’t think that it’s our place to get involved. If anything, please send words of encouragement to Chloe. Because this is about her and her trauma. Sam is just a piece of the narrative. I’m feeling a tad bit hypocritical talking about this, when I preach that I don’t like talking about Sam’s personal life. But it’s there. And I obviously don’t know the whole story, but this is how I feel about it. I feel affected by this, in a small insignificant way. As a fan of both Sam and Chloe, but more importantly, as a woman. I’m glad Chloe was able to get out of this situation and  share her story with us. I hope human garbage Chris Hardwick gets dumped. And I hope Sam is not affected by this.

I never expected to revisit this, but here we are. There appears to be no bad blood between Sam and Chloe (that I know of). They both seem happy in their lives. And I hope it stays that way. I love them both, long after their breakup. They are both wonderful people. And even though I know he won’t say anything publicly, I really do hope that Sam reaches out to her. 

And with all that being said, I’m putting this thing to rest. I feel like I had to come back to this and put things into perspective. For myself. And for my love and support for Sam and Chloe moving forward.And just how I feel about it as a woman and a human being. I will continue to love and support Chloe and all who support and fight for the #MeToo movement. The heat may have died down, but the fire still burns. Every day. If you have been abused or assaulted, of any kind, no matter who you are, know that my heart is with you. I have been fortunate enough in my life to not had to go through such horrors, but I am deeply sorry for any and all who have and do. You are brave, strong, and beautiful. You are important and you are worth so much. You don’t deserve anything less than feeling safe and loved in the healthiest way possible.

I don’t know what else to say, so I’m gonna leave you with this adorable picture of Sam and Chloe in happy times because I’m feeling nostalgic. :)

Well, according to this tweet (which I had to dig through Sam’s tag on twitter to find it again because I remembered it and wanted to be sure I didn’t imagine it), their “anniversary” is June 28. So they’ve been together for about a year and two months.