I recently had a post come across my dash, and I'd like to ask: What is your opinion on cis hetero-romantics who identify as asexual? Are they welcome to queer spaces?
Theyâre more than welcome to any space of mine.
I donât get to decide the comfort level of other people, on a whole, and while I disagree with the idea of a âqueer ENOUGHâ quantifier - I donât disagree with people wanting to define their own spaces. Itâs up to an individual to decide.
Someone who identifies as cis and het is still asexual. They have still faced a life of âbeing different.â They have unique problems and things that they need to talk about in their relationships that no one else has - regardless of who theyâre in a relationship with. Theyâre still isolated, and it hurts my heart to know how much of a community that they think would welcome them still tells them theyâre not good enough.
I personally dont use the âlgbtâ tag because of how much the large amount of people in that community donât want the a team in their space. (Agender, asexual, or aromantic.) I use quiltbag. Iâm not welcome in one - but Iâm welcome in the other.
Iâve made a post once before talking about how hurtful it is to their own communities to fight for the idea that straight is the default - you can read it here if you like - http://awkwardarbor.tumblr.com/post/162381055547/so-tumblr-versus-the-a-team-there-are-so-many
I will never agree with the idea that you have to be different enough to have your pain be worth something. As a kid in an abusive household, I spent a lot of years reminding myself that other people had it worse. People do that with everything. I have people apologize to me by saying their bad experience doesnât compare to mine when talking about grief, injuries, family, assault, anything at all. Doesnât matter. You had a bad experience. You had a bad day. Youâre hurting. Youâre valid. You count.
My opinion of /// *to*Â the people who are cis, hetero romantic and asexual is the following:
I love you, and youâre always welcome in my spaces.