#dwda

Been in too much pain for far too long and I know it's going to be hard for everyone to cope, but ultimately I don't care about their feelings anymore.

Everyone's feelings have just been an excuse to hurt me and have me never retaliate. So I'm tired of being the punching bag.

I know I'm going to take forever to get enough money to leave this state, and even more to arrange the procedure. But either way I'm faced with an end to my suffering so. That's absolutely fine with me.

I'm just sad that no one recognizes how shitty it is to ask me to get a new job, when, I was working full time and supporting your ass... And every time I tried helping you get a steady income I was met with more whining, excuses, and other things. But now the tables are turned because I burned myself out and can't work, due to overworking, due to being the sole breadwinner because our roommate is unreliable. I have to help everyone in this house but it's sooooo underwhelming when I used to ask.

And for that I'm leaving y'all permanently. You can't change my mind and you can't stop me.

It isn't because of the recent news. It's because of my life. It's just too much for me anymore.

I also just learned that Canada has a program that I'm interested in, but I'm inelligible for it on account of being from the US.

But there's a program just like it in Oregon, so I'm going there. And I won't get my family in trouble if I go back to New York because I'll have everything squared away. I'm getting all my paperwork ready. I'm just grateful I was able to change my name before I leave.