#dwarffortress

So I've been playing a lot of dwarf fortress lately, and one thing I've noticed is that dwarves are weird. So naturally I've spent a lot of time thinking about how their biology might work and I've come to the conclusion that the dwarves in dwarf fortress are marsupials. Hear me out, I promise it will make sense.

Large eyes explain many dwarfisms

Dwarf basics

Dwarves are short humanoid creatures that dig holes and build fortresses. They don't need light underground and get cave adapted if they don't get exposed to sunlight often, making them dizzy and confused when they do encounter it. To see in near darkness they would have massive eyes, and for navigating in total darkness long whiskers. The consequences of having huge eyes would explain two other facts about dwarves, namely the fragility of their skulls and their incredible talent for stupidity. No space for brain or bone in their head, it's all eyes.

They will eat just about anything except other dwarves but they don't need to eat often, something that caused me to initially assume they might actually be a form of reptile but is better explained simply by them having a lower body temperature and therefore slower metabolism than a typical mammal. None of this is strong evidence for any particular theory so let's move on.

Urist McCaveAdapted

Dwarf reproduction

Married heterosexual dwarf couples can have babies. Lots of babies. Dwarf women can have aproximately one baby a year, thanks to their short gestation period and the fact that they can become pregnant again immediately after birth. Pregnant dwarves show no outward signs of being pregnant, and birth happens while the mother is about doing her job - which will be interupted as she then looks for the child. Now the main advantage of the marsupial pouch is precisely that, allowing young to be born early reducing the risk to the mother from the birthing process and allowing the mother to get pregnant again sooner. Marsupials are born tiny and able to crawl, so it would make sense that the first thing they need to do after giving birth is find the baby and make sure it makes it into the pouch.

A dwarf mother in a rare moment of remembering her baby exists

Dwarven childcare

Dwarves are babies for one year, during which time their mothers never put them down (unless they are washed down a drain or other misadventure). The mother is able to act normally while carrying her baby, even doing things like fighting or tasks that require both hands. So she must be carrying the baby in some other way, and a marsupial pouch would be ideal for the task. Even the issue of chest deep water causing mothers to loose their offspring makes sense for marsupial dwarves, as one of the limitations of the marsupial pouch is the fact that pouch young are vulnerable to being washed out of the pouch if the adult is in water.

It even explains the lack of beards on dwarf women, as they would get in the way of the baby climbing into the pouch.

Marsupial dwarves. You're welcome.