#dwarf!sakura

He dislikes speaking about such matters, but there is a world of complication that might ensue if they do not. Still, he is not sure the best way to raise the matter. Sakura is usually the more direct about these things, and yet she seems more content right now to trace invisible patterns across his chest and arms with her index finger.

He is tempted to let her.

But the sooner he knows the particulars of this sudden change in status, the sooner he will know if that’s a possibility.

“This is likely an unwise course of action,” he points out after several minutes of reluctant attempts to speak. “You have a Blight to stop. Distraction is not helpful at the moment.”

“Well, if I’m distracting you, you’re not as focussed a man as you pretend to be,” she teases. “For shame, oh great Dalish warrior.”

He shoots her an annoyed look out of the corner of his eye, making her laugh and sigh.

“I want to be happy,” she mumbles, “while we can. It won’t be easy, ending the Blight, destroying the archdemon…not to mention whatever political shitfest we get caught up in while doing it. It’s likely one or both of us could end up dead before it’s all over.”

“I thought you were an optimist.”

“I am…but I also believe in having a backup plan. Any dwarf who grew up casteless would,” she tells him. “I aim to enjoy myself however I can until the big dust-up.” She trails her hand down his chest. “And enjoy you.”

Sasuke frowns at this. “So, this is…enjoyment.”

That implication bothers him more than it should.      

“You sound unsure. But I’m confident there was some enjoyment on your end,” she purrs.

“That is not in question,” he dismisses. “I would, however, question what significance our joining has to you. What is this meant to be?”

She goes tense.

“This is…whatever you want it to be,” she says, but he catches a cautious note in her voice. “I realise that you have…commitments that may be at odds with anything I might want.”

Sasuke processes this and then sits up abruptly. The movement displaces her hands and causes her to fall to one side. He frowns down at her for a moment, studying her tightly schooled features, and then smirks.

“You have been playing the Warden too long,” he tells her. “You are so used to walking the line of compromise to win allies and support, you no longer know how to answer a direct question. It is a pity—that dwarven forthrightness of yours is one of your best qualities.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demands, sitting up as well. She pulls the blanket up to cover herself, the modest gesture at odds with her usual confidence.

Sasuke shakes his head. “I have no stomach for talking circles around one another. You have feelings for me—and they go beyond our tryst here tonight.”

The colour drains from her face, and her eyes flash with a tiny flare of panic. “I—”

“And I have no patience for the casual dalliances that others in our party might prefer,” he continues. He allows her a moment to process this, and then continues in a somewhat softer voice. “It is true that it is better for us to avoid sentiment, especially in pursuit of our goals. But I am not one to deny a truth apparent to both of us. If I did not feel something for you, tonight would not have happened. Which you knew, or you would not have sought me out.”

“I…hoped,” she admits shyly.

Sasuke snorts. “It is inconvenient. It might have been better if we avoided this, but what us done is done. The past cannot be changed, or so I have learned.”

“Would you?”

“Would I what?”

“Change what we did?”

“We have established that for once this is about what you want,” he replies. “What future do you envision, Warden?”

And though the question is innocuous enough, they both understand he is asking more than that. 

She gazes at him solemnly for a little longer than he’s comfortable with, and then her shoulders square.

“When the Blight is over, and Naruto is Konoha’s king, and Kakashi goes back to avoiding Templars, and all the others…return to their lives…I want to go with you. Wherever you go.”

“You are a Warden,” he reminds her. “Will you not have commitments?”

“As I understand it, Wardens stop Blights and fight darkspawn,” she replies. “There are darkspawn across the entire continent, and I can fight them just as well in Oto as anywhere else the Order could send me. If they even still want me.”

She leans close, clutching at his hand and clasping it to her heart.

“I want to travel,” she goes on. “I want to see the world and be able to appreciate it, instead of hurrying from place to place, rallying troops, and questing for sacred urns, or fulfilling treaties. I want to visit the ocean, because I’ve never been there but I hear it’s nice, or see the ruins of ancient civilisations forgotten even by my ancestors. I want to eat food that doesn’t come out of a cup and walk through a town without worrying about being arrested because I’m a Grey Warden or casteless or because someone sees me as a threat to their power. I want to take the time to stop and help people who are sick and dying, and who we haven’t had time to help because we need to fight the damn Blight. And I want to do all of those things with you.”

Sasuke’s mouth goes dry.

For a brief instant, he can see the future she has envisioned. It is brighter than anything he’s considered, filled not with endless years of lonely wandering in the cold, but a warmth and light. Enduring spring instead of bleak winter.

But neither of them is free to experience that.

Perhaps his doubt shows on his face because hers arranges itself into careful blankness. “Of course…that’s just what I want. It could be…we don’t want the same thing.”

Her wording is careful, with nary an inflexion to colour it, but he can see the vulnerability that flashes in her eyes at the inkling he might not share her vision. He’s not sure how to explain that he wants to, even if it is not meant to be.

“I do not know,” he admits at last, and it is more heartfelt than he expected. “It would depend on how the next few months, or even years, go. How successful you are at ending the Blight.”

“How successful we are. You don’t think I’m going to do this thing single-handedly, do you?” she twits him, hopeful humour coming back to her. Since his reply was not an outright refusal, she seems comforted. “No matter the circumstances, it will take a while. We still need to heal Arl Hiruzen. That’s at least a week before we get there. And he’ll know what to do about the political situation in Konoha. We can leave that to him, thank the Ancestors.”

“Hm.”

“And we have to get Naruto ready to rule once we take Danzō out of the equation.”

“An effort as difficult as the Blight itself.”

“That could take months,” she says in would-be-innocence.

“Even years,” he agrees, catching the byplay.

“Beyond that, we still have treaty-bound allies to seek out for the Blight,” Sakura goes on, rearranging herself so she is lying on her side now. Sasuke mirrors her movement until they lie facing one another, scant inches apart. “We already have the mages at the Circle, thanks to Kakashi, but once we heal the Arl, we still need to approach the elves and the dwarves.”

“Neither option seems appealing.”

“Tell you what—you go deal with the dwarves, and I’ll approach the elves,” she suggests.

“No. I may be an outcast, but I am still less likely to be shot approaching a Dalish camp than you or the shemlen are.”

Sakura sighs. “I know…I just…the idea of going home is terrifying. What if it turns out my parents are dead after all? What if that ghost in the temple was just trying to make me feel hopeful?”

He does not answer because it is a possibility; instead, he reaches out for her hand, threading their fingers together. Sakura’s eyes go unfocussed for a moment, pain and longing there, before she masters herself. She sighs, squeezing his fingers, and then relaxes.

“And it’s not just that,” she continues as if there was no lull. “I may be a Warden now, but the people back home will only ever see me as casteless. It will take a lot of punching people in the face to get them to listen.”

“You said they were bound by treaty to aid the Wardens.”

“Yeah. They’ll honour the treaty, but they’ll take their time about it. By the time the dwarves decide on anything, we might all be dead from the Blight.”

“I have no doubt you will engineer some plan or other. You usually do.”

“Mm, now you sound like the optimist,” she murmurs, leaning forward to kiss him. He automatically returns the gesture, and the next minutes or aeons pass in a slow, lazy exploration of each other’s mouths.

Just as he notices his lower extremities stirring with interest once more, she pulls back, gracing him with a gentle smile. “I’m suddenly very confident. We’ll figure something out. Maybe offer political alliance through Naruto. Open trade routes or a dwarven presence in the kingdom…”

She trails off, adopting the planning face he has seen so often. He can only imagine the complex network of plans she might yet come up with but discovers he is not curious about any of them anymore.

Not wanting to lose her interest yet, he once more tilts her chin toward him. “Leave your machinations for daylight.”

“There’s a lot of planning,” she protests, but it is half-hearted. “If I’m to leave this place in good hands before we go find your brother, everything has to be arranged, and we have little time to do it in.”

“Before we go…?” he repeats, pausing in his pursuit of her mouth.

“You said it was your duty to your clan,” she reminds him. “It’s the first thing you’ll do when this is all over, and I aim to be by your side.” He draws away from her, and she tenses. Apprehension crosses her features. “That is…unless you don’t want me there.”

“It is not that,” he says, unable to look away from her even as she suddenly seems too bright for his gaze. “The deed I must carry out is distasteful. It is not something I would want anyone to bear witness to, and you…I do not want…”

“I wouldn’t be coming to bear witness,” she says quietly. “I would come with you because he’s your brother and even though you would do this out of duty, you love him. It will hurt when you succeed. And I want to be there to hold you together in case you you can’t.”

He has no idea what to say to this.

“No heart is resilient forever, Sasuke-kun,” she whispers. “At some point, even the strongest stone can break, especially when it’s been worn away from many years of force.”

He shakes his head, mystified. “You do not know me. Not for as long as you have known the others.”

“And considering all of us could die tomorrow, knowing you a day is the same as knowing you forever.”

“I doubt that is how it works…”

“Besides, in that time, haven’t I shown myself to be an excellent judge of character?” she counters. He cannot argue with that; Sakura can read people in a way he never could. “If your soul was as irredeemable as you seem to think it is, do you believe I would have asked you to come with us that day we met? Do you think I would have opened myself to you the way I did tonight? I’ve seen darkness. I fight it every day, and more often than not, I kill it. It never even entered my mind to put you in that category.”

And because he knows her, he knows this is true.

It is a sobering, terrifying notion, but at the same time his heart leaps in something like excitement. Or confidence.

Do not let yourself be drawn in, his rational mind and experience cautions him. She is beholden to the Wardens. You have sworn yourself to vengeance. Her childish dream is doomed already.

He wants to say so, but she gazes at him so intently that he holds back the words. There is something about this woman that instils hope—and his life has been lacking in such a thing for a long time.

“As you said: we could die before that ever happens,” he reminds her.

“It’s just one future before us,” she tells him. “I don’t care what we do, as long as we’re together. Whether it’s for the next thirty minutes or the next thirty years.”

He has trouble catching his breath. “You can see a future where we live another thirty years?”

“Well, like you said, I’m an optimist,” she grins. “Also, as stubborn as dirt.”

“I am…beginning to understand that.”

He does not think he will ever understand this woman or the way her mind works. But in that moment, it occurs to him he does not mind that in the least.

Images of the past few days filter back to him—of Sakura making faces over their tasteless rations or holding his hand as he struggles to remember his parents faces. Of her standing over the body of the dragon, fierce and fearless, to the deadened eyes of the clone he killed. Sakura struggling comically to catch up with her long-legged colleagues through the snow, to her vulnerability in the darkness as she waited for him to accept her advances, to the ecstasy on her face in the moment of release. The way her eyes sparkle when she grins at him and the sound of her laugh.

Shit.

He finally knows what this, with a certainty that should not be so concrete, especially in the face of their current circumstances. And though his brain and logic reprimand himself for allowing this, he has also never been one to deny a fact once it has been made so clear.

“Sasuke-kun?” she questions.

He reaches out slowly, tracing his fingers over the rhombus-shaped brand on her forehead, gazing down at her in wonder.

“Ar lath ma, vhenan,” he tells her, the words forming on their own and half without his permission. And yet, as startling as it is to say them, that they are true is without doubt.

“What’s that mean?” she asks, curious.

But he shakes his head, not ready to share that with her yet. Whatever his own realisations, it is far too soon.

“It means, I could use someone handy with an axe,” he tells her instead, attempting to sound casual and unaffected.

She sees though it, of course, and for a second her cheeks flush and the smile she offers him is joy and hope and that word he cannot share with her in a language she understands. Not yet.

And then that shifts into something else, and she adopts a speculative look.

“Hm,” she pretends to consider, and presses herself in close to him.  Her fingers slide southward. “Is there anything else you think I’m handy with?”

He does not manage to answer before her fingers slip below his navel and encircle him where he is already stiffening.

“Dwarves,” he groans. “Always so crass.”

Translations:

Shemlen – quick children; elvish name for humans

Ar lath ma, vhenan – I love you, my heart

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It is a slow procession that descends the slippery, and sometimes crumbling, stairwell.

“Is it possible to get to the Deep Roads from here?” Sasuke wonders. “An underground route to Iwa might be more convenient for us than going around.”

“If there is, it wouldn’t be safe,” Sakura replies. “Not that the Deep Roads are ever safe, but there’s a difference between ten darkspawn and ten thousand.”

“Yeah, we learned that the hard way,” Naruto mutters with a palpable shiver.

Much to their chagrin, though their journey through the centre of the mountain is less dangerous than their trek upwards, it takes longer. There is nowhere along the way down for them to stop, and along the lone trek downward, moods and tempers fray.

They are all of them relieved when after half a day if walking, the ground levels out and leads to a narrow mining shaft. Fresh, cool air beckons beyond them. Though the sun appears to be setting, it still provides enough light to guide them out of a small path at the base of the mountain.

Once they are all safely back outside, the tiny doorway they came through shifts and fuses back up, rocks and stones drawing together seamlessly. If they had not walked through it, Sasuke would not know the entrance was even there.

“And that is why we could not have taken the back way up even if we wanted to,” Kakashi tells Naruto. “Dwarven doors are invisible when closed.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

The based of the Three Wolves Mountain is still cold and dreary, but it is not as dismal as the summit. Naruto wants to head for Uzushiogakure at once, but Sakura puts her foot down.

“I’m having a bath and real food and an actual bed for once,” she insists. “It’s been a week of pretending we don’t hear each other pee, I need a night of privacy.”

Sasuke makes a noise of agreement. After getting off the blighted mountain top, he wants a warm meal and the ability to scrub the blood from his various nooks and crannies. Perhaps Naruto was raised in a stable and likes the dirt, but Sasuke and his people have always been fastidiously clean.

To soothe Naruto’s grumbling, they do end up heading toward Arl Hiruzen’s castle. Still, the four of them keep an eye out for settlements in the area which might offer a place to stop.

As they walk, Sasuke realises Sakura has fallen into step beside him, while Naruto and Kakashi somehow linger farther and farther behind them. Wondering if it is on purpose, Sasuke makes the mistake of glancing at Sakura out of the corner of his eyes, noticing that she is doing the same.

Her cheeks turn red and she looks away.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she says quickly. “I was just…I wondered if you’re alright.”

Sasuke makes a face. “You always ask me that. Do I seem feeble to you?” 

“What? No! That’s not—it’s just, I get the sense that people never asked you that much.”

“I am not a child that requires reassurance at every turn.”

“I didn’t say you were.” Sakura makes a face. “Is it so hard to believe I care about your well-being because…just because?”

He does not respond, not wanting to point out that beyond being hard to understand, it is illogical to him. In his view, he has done nothing to call for such an interest.

“I know you pretend like this was some silly mission or quest or thing to get out of the way,” she goes on, “and more trouble than it was worth. But what happened up there affected you.”

“Tch!”

“I saw you in that chamber when we fought those doppelgängers,” she insists. She lowers her voice with a surreptitious glance back to where Naruto and Kakashi bring of the rear of their little procession. “I didn’t mention it because the others were so close by, but I wanted to. It unnerved you to hurt us. Even if it wasn’t really us.”

“Is that something you saw?” he sneers, but there is little bite to it.

“Yes, it is,” she insists stubbornly. “You know why? Because I think you’ve developed a soft spot for us.”

“Then you are not as observant as you think you are.”

“Aren’t I? Because you seemed upset.”

“I wasn’t upset about that.”

I was upset because it was you.

Sakura groans in frustration. “You know what? Fine. You weren’t upset about that. You’re not upset now.”

“Right.”

“Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s pretend you’re not full of sod, why don’t we?” she goes on. “Because it seems that’s easier than coming out and saying it. With words and everything.”

Sasuke blinks, wondering if he has missed something. “Saying what?”

Sakura sighs and shakes her head, shoulders slumping forward. “Never mind. Here I was, figuring we’d gotten past this…this. But we haven’t. So, tomorrow’s another day, but right now I…oh, forget it!”

And she stomps forward, putting an impressive distance between the two of them considering someone whose legs are much shorter.

Sasuke stares after her, feeling as dazed as he was when hit in the face with Naruto’s doppelgänger’s shield.

“Is there a rule about women not making sense?” he asks out loud to no one in particular.

“Under normal circumstances, yes,” Kakashi answers, appearing by his side as if summoned. “But I think in this case, it is you being an idiot.” Sasuke shoots him an unimpressed side-eye. “I have never seen anyone so bad at reading the signals. That is saying something, considering you supposedly a high-and-mighty, observant assassin.”

“I fail to see the correlation.”

“I always heard the assassins trained in Oto were adept in many skills—especially body language and seduction.”

“You read too many novels,” Sasuke grumbles, tips of his ears burning, because under normal circumstances, it is true. “And I can read signals fine.”

“No, you can’t,” Naruto pipes up, appearing on Sasuke’s other side with a teasing expression on his face. “Because even I noticed it this whole trip. She’s practically been demanding that you…lick her lamppost, if you get my meaning.”

He wiggles his eyebrows and shoots Sasuke a filthy grin which Sasuke retaliates against by lashing out with his foot, tripping the human.

“Bastard!” Naruto chokes through a mouth full of ice and snow.

“Your response is a lot more telling than what he was implying,” Kakashi points out.

“Think what you want,” Sasuke grunts. “The situation is more complicated than either of you fools make it out to be.”

“Complicated? Is it? I do not see how it can be more so than say…threading a needle?”

Sasuke narrows his eyes at the older man, considering the merit of knocking the mage into the snow next.

“I am simply making a suggestion,” Kakashi continues, unbothered by the unspoken threat in the air. “Take a bit of advice from someone who waited far too long to act and missed out on one of the few comforts this brief life affords us.”

“When I want your opinion, I will ask for it.”

“You will not.”

“No, I will not.”

At least they can agree on that.

“Hey! Guys, look!” Sakura calls from up ahead. She is standing on a small hill rise, pointing at something on the horizon. “There’s a town ahead! It looks nice and big—I bet they have a traveller’s inn!”

“And they will no doubt charge a pretty penny for it when they see the desperate state we are in,” Kakashi remarks. “If they are full up, and she wants a room of her own, the three of us will have to share quarters again.

“First one gets his own room!” Naruto shouts, now recovered from his trip in the snow and shoving past Sasuke and Kakashi.

“Halfwit,” Sasuke mutters under his breath, but he takes off after him.

They shoot past a bemused Sakura, who shouts after them—something about short legs and injustice—but Sasuke is too busy overtaking Naruto to care. He exploits every degree of natural light-footedness to speed past the human, not stopping until he reaches the village. He feels no guilt over it, either—a room to himself is a luxury he has not had in a while.

There are a few odd looks in his direction—he is a Dalish elf, and clearly the settlement is human—but he ignores them. Soon, he finds the nearest guesthouse and makes a beeline for it.

As it turns out, there was no need for the contest (despite his own inexplicable satisfaction at beating Naruto) because the inn is all-but empty. The innkeeper informs him there have been no travellers through this part of the kingdom all season. For a modest sum, Sasuke can get four separate rooms for their party.

Ten minutes later, the others arrive, Naruto panting and swearing at him about cheating, while Sakura and Kakashi stroll in afterward.

“You’re both idiots,” Sakura informs them. He thinks she is just bitter she could not keep up with either of them even if she tried.

The innkeeper’s wife takes one horrified look at Sakura—her weapons and gear stained with more blood than any of the others—and declares, “Oh, you poor thing! Let’s get you out of that mess and into a hot bath.”

Which instantly makes Sakura break into the most delighted smile, her earlier irritation gone.

The innkeeper is not so coddling, grunting that there is a hogshead out back for them to use to wash. Then he heads upstairs to stoke the fires in their rooms.

“It’s fucking freezing!” Naruto complains. “Why don’t we get a nice hot bath?”

“Because we are manly men,” Kakashi replies, no trace of a joke in his voice. “And some of us might need a cold wash anyhow.”

Sasuke ignores him. He does not mind the temperature too much at the moment, too pleased at cleaning his skin of the dried blood and viscera. His gear is not in as poor condition as Naruto’s anyhow, considering he did not slice open a Bronto and practically bathe in its innards.

Whatever momentary discomfort he endures cleaning himself in the frigid yard is worth it. W

hen he enters the dining area, one of the serving wenches puts a plate of mulled cider and a hank of roasted rams’ meat in front of him. Animal flesh was never his preferred diet growing up, but occasional bursts of starvation have made him appreciative of most food, whatever its origin. Sasuke offers a silent prayer to Andruil for whatever successful hunt brought him this food and tucks in with gusto. For once he is too busy indulging in his own meal to note Naruto’s sloppy chewing or Kakashi’s increasing inebriation.

At a later point, Sakura joins them, no longer clad in her thick armour but in a dress that looks to have been borrowed from their hostess. It is too long for her, spilling to the floor, and too tight across the bosom. Sasuke tells himself he only noticed this because the garment makes it impossible to hide a weapon, not because of the sight it offers him of her cleavage.

The fact he chokes on his cider when she sits down beside him means nothing.

The serving girl comes by, offering a second helping of supper, and he declines. Days of living on road have shrunken his stomach, and if he eats too much, he will spend the next few hours vomiting and shitting in the snow. Or worse.

(He is confident that is Naruto’s more immediate fate).

“Perhaps later?” she suggests, her black eyes trying to telegraph something to him. “I’ll be working at my chores late, I could…bring it to your room?”

He is vaguely aware of Sakura stiffening beside him but does not know why. He waves the woman away.

“Do not make more work for yourself, I doubt you are well-paid for it,” he replies, standing and preparing to head upstairs. His exhaustion has caught up to him while he was sitting. “My needs have been well-seen to.”

He almost misses the way her eyes flit between him and Sakura.

“Oh! I see. Well then, pay no attention to me,” she says, sounding nervous for whatever reason. “Goodnight, ser.”

Sasuke frowns at her departing back and looks to Sakura. “Did I miss something?”

She looks like she is fighting down a smile.

“If you’re asking me if you’ve missed something, you’re more tired than you look.”

That makes a strange sort of sense, and he nods. “Good night.”

“I hope it will be,” she replies, which has him frowning and puzzling his entire way up to bed. Though he blames his confusion on the fact his eyes kept straying to the low scoop of her collar.

His tiny, private room is little more than a bed and a washbasin, but there is a tiny grate with a crackling fire that offer him a comforting warmth. The cot has a thick featherbed and well-insulated windows to keep out the cold.

It is a matter of minutes to divest himself of his clothes and slip into bed, placing his weapons within easy reach. It is a matter of seconds before he succumbs to a deep and dreamless sleep.

Only to awake with a violent start an indeterminable amount of time later.

The room is dark except for a trickle of moonlight from beyond the closed shutters. For a heartbeat, he is lost, torn from the heaviness of sleep, but his hand reflexively clenches around the dagger beneath his pillow.

Someone is here.

A split second before he can rise and hurl the dagger at the intruder, there is a whisper in the darkness.

“Sasuke-kun?”

It is Sakura.

He loosens his grip on the blade and eases up, his eyes seeking the familiar form of the Warden. The scarce light in his room is more than enough for him to make a detailed study of her form.

His first instinct is to confirm that she is not injured or in distress.  (No midnight attack by enemies, then, which has happened before.) A beat later, he notices there is something open about her in the dark. Something he does not think is entirely because she’s exchanged her usual thick armour for a borrowed woollen nightdress.

There is vulnerability in the way she clutches at the rough downy blanket around her shoulders, her eyes shining at him with something akin to doubt.

“What is it?” he asks, the demand coming out harsher than he intends. But the closer she gets, the faster his heart beats.

Sakura does not offer an answer, instead stepping toward him in the dark before perching on the side of his bed. She continues to watch him, careful and evaluating, opens her mouth to speak, and closes it as if she forgot the words. Then, she bites down on her lip, hesitant, and tilts her head to study him again. 

Sasuke bristles, not used to her lack of forthrightness. It bothers him, seeing her so uncertain and… timid? It goes against what he knows of her. Worse are the unspoken words, hanging there in the air and taunting him with the vast possibility of what they could be. He hates being curious and unprepared, and she is one who excels in making him so.

“Why—?” he begins, only to be cut off when she ducks her head forward and presses her lips against his.

It is a chaste caress, almost a whisper in its delicateness, but he feels as if he has been turned to stone. Thoughts stagger and vanish, a charge like electricity arcing through his body. He does not even dare to breathe as the world narrows to the sensation of her skin touching his and the flutter of her breath against his cheek.

The seconds stretch like days, and she pulls away again. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes continue to gleam at him in the moonlight, though now he can better interpret what is there.

Warmth. Fear. Determination. Desire.

And a question.

She does not speak it though.

At first, he thinks she dreads his answer, especially given her uncharacteristic apprehension.

Then he realises her silence is an offer.

She has come here for a purpose, one which he suspects is somehow not so obvious as the kiss she bestowed upon him, but even more significant. Yet instead of giving voice to that, she waits for his reaction.

He knows that if he were to turn away now, offer his back to her and her proposition, she would disappear from his room and speak no more of this. They can go back to the way of things tomorrow, and when their quest is over, part as only comrades in arms. In the same way he knows if he continues, she will accept whatever restrictions he requires. Even if it is only for tonight.

More terrifying than both options is the third. That if he chooses her—if he says the word, she will bind herself to his side much longer than a night.

On any other woman, he might see this as desperation, a willingness to take whatever scrap of attention he might deign to offer her. But he knows this woman, and desperation is not a brush with which she can be tarred.  

As uncertain as she may be right now, watching for his reaction, her demeanour is calm and accepting. It is a resigned peace Sasuke cannot remember ever experiencing.  And there is something else, something in her gaze he does not think he is ready to understand, but finds he wants.

Perhaps something of that shows in his expression because her eyes soften incrementally and a smile curls at her lips.

She leans forward again, once more pressing her mouth to his, but this time it is more than a whispered hint of what could be. There is substance and force, a resistance that is both a challenge and an invitation. Sasuke allows himself only one more second of hesitation before returning the kiss.

Translation:

Andruil – the huntress; elven goddess of the hunt

Warning, warning: incoming smut! We’ve only been waiting for this the whole fic… 😊

Comments and concrit are much appreciated, and very motivating! For information about supporting my original, non-fandom related works, you’re welcome to check out my ko-fi tip jar, or my patreon page. 

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“I hope there are no more challenges like this,” Kakashi goes on. “Responsibility for the demise of a loved one, even given the pretence of this…it is an experience that should be avoided if possible.”

There is a meaningful undertone there that seems like it’s directed at him. Kakashi may not know the details of Sasuke’s past, but it is clear he has suspicions.

Sasuke doesn’t reply, instead pulling away from the mage and heading for the giant door of the chamber. It should be open now, but it remains stubbornly warded, forbidding blue energy radiating from it.

“I don’t get it,” Naruto wonders through gritted teeth as Sakura stitches the wound on his right arm together. “Why didn’t it open? We defeated…uh…us.”

“Once I finish here, we’ll spread out,” Sakura says, eyes focussed on her work. “There might be something that our…that those clones were guarding, or perhaps dropped.”

“I will start looking,” Kakashi volunteers, clearly intending to spare them the experience of looting the corpses of friends.

Everyone is avoiding each other’s eyes, but still trying to work together. In time, perhaps the skittishness will fade. This experience will seem like a momentary dark spot, something faced and overcome. It might fuel nightmares for a few nights or offer an image that comes back to them in moments of reflection to make them shudder. But all three of them can go on knowing what they did was a matter in which they had no choice. Deeds that were more symbolism than anything else.

But to Sasuke, this trial is a reminder.

Of how easy it was for him to return to that state of mind. Of what he needs to do if he intends to return to his path and find Itachi.

This is what he must become once more.

Sakura’s twin still gazes up at him in sad, silent accusation, and his throat closes again.

It is as if a switch inside of him clicks.

I will find another way, brother, Sasuke decides with a harsh certainty. I will not become this again to carry out what is right. I will find another path, my own way. I will not follow in your footsteps.

There is a loud creaking grind of stone on stone, and the door that barred them from moving forward slides open.

“Huh,” Naruto says, staring at it. “I guess it needed a minute to kick in.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Sakura says. “Spells or not, I doubt anyone has ever been far enough in this way. The mechanisms are rusty.”

“It iss as good an explanation as any,” Kakashi says, but he sounds like he doubts it.

Not wanting to give him a chance to analyse the situation further, Sasuke gets up and heads into the next section of the temple. He hears the others scrambling after him, perhaps fearing the door might close again before they can.

This place is larger than the other rooms, if only because of the giant, gaping chasm that makes up the most of it. Twenty yards away, and with no bridge in sight, he can see the next door.

“Maybe it’s an invisible bridge,” Naruto suggests.

“If you want to try that out, be my guest,” Sasuke mumbles.

Naruto begins to reply, but his response gets lost in his throat. When Sasuke turns to find out what has distracted him, he discovers he cannot move.

“I imagine there is a puzzle or test we have to complete to make the bridge appear,” Kakashi muses, striding past him without noticing. “What do you think, Sakura?” The only response he gets is a muffled, strangled squeak. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke sees that she, too, has been rendered paralysed. “Sakura?”

The mage turns now and sees the three members of his party immobilised.

“Ah. So, I am the one to be tested this time,” the mage mumbles. “Do your worst, then.”

“Do you really mean that?”

The voice is Naruto’s, but not.

When Sasuke strains to look, he finds the human has turned to face Kakashi now, but his eyes are blank.

“Or do you say it because they expect you to?” he continues. “You have always been so careful of keeping up appearances. It is exhausting. And you so hate effort. You have always been one to evade the hard decisions,” ‘Naruto’ intones drowsily. “Avoiding attention, refusing to get involved. Battling darkspawn was a convenient excuse to escape the Circle and following this motley crew protects you from Templars…you hope.”

Kakashi frowns.

“So, I wonder…why bother with this silly quest? It is so much effort…wasted in the end, really. You fight for a world that does not want you. You would be safer and more content if you let it pass you by.”

“That is debateable.”

“I will offer you an alternative: return the way you came. I will open the doors and you can escape this place. Find somewhere safe and warm. Settle down.”

“And what would happen to my companions?”

“They would stay here. I will offer them peaceful sleep—blissful dreams until their skin and bones fade to dust. A moment in time for them, instead of a long-drawn-out death in search of something which may not exist.”

Kakashi shakes his head. “No. None of them would thank me for doing them that favour. Naruto would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat if it meant one of us carrying the cure to Arl Hiruzen…”

“Would he?” the being inquires and then takes a step toward the chasm.

Sakura makes a panicked noise in her throat, unable to speak, and Kakashi steps forward as well. “Stop! He is not the one you intend to test, I am. I will take his place if a life is what is required. And it would suit you better, would it not? Demons such as yourself prefer mages anyhow.”

Naruto’s chuckle is dry and dozy. “So, you know what I am. Well. Why should I argue when a mage offers himself so willingly?

There is a sound like wind rushing and Naruto’s eyes become less hazy. He remains frozen in place but is now aware enough to watch Kakashi’s eyes go blank as the demon takes possession.

Sasuke mentally curses, damning the mage for putting them all at risk by allowing a demon to enter his body, but then he sees Kakashi’s body tense. He staggers, then takes a laborious step forward, heading for the edge of the chasm.

He is going to throw himself off, Sasuke realises. Sakura and Naruto make noises as if they were screaming if their mouths could unclench.

To their horror, Kakashi takes the last step into the abyss—

Only for his foot to come down on solid stone as a giant column materialises before him. Kakashi’s body relaxes, loose like an unwound puppet, and a voice whispers in the dark.

“In sacrifice, you have defeated Sloth and found Valour. Carry it with you always when cowardice and complacence would reign.”

And then silence permeates the cavern once more.

Kakashi takes a laborious breath and glances back at them where they are frozen.

“Do not worry,” he says. “I understand what this is. I faced something similar in my Harrowing.”

“Yes, but this time it’s not your own life on the line, is it, mage?” Sasuke sneers, momentarily startled that he can speak again.

Except it is not his voice.

It is lower and sharper, filled with a simmering fury that appears to suffuse every part of him. Literally. He is burning hot. He can see the surrounding air vibrating as if he stands within a pyre.

“That’s the way it always is, though,” he continues, or rather, the thing using his mouth does. “Stand in the background, the one that causes the pain and misery and destruction, and then act like a victim when it’s done.”

“Ah, this would be Rage, then?” Kakashi wonders, a vein near his temple twitching.

“You know it well, don’t you?” the raging force within Sasuke says. “It boils inside you whenever anyone like this one opens his mouth. When they speak of the sins of your kind, the truths. Because deep down, you know it's true.”

There is a poisonous certainty in his words that makes Sasuke’s blood boil, each syllable making his heartrate increase. He longs to move so he could grab his bow, wants to lash out.

“I do not, because it is not,” Kakashi says. “And whatever people distrust about mages, I believe they can learn anew.”

“But why would they bother taking such a risk? The moment they’re free, mages’ll make themselves magisters. They face demons and accept their offers, killing children to show off at parties. They should all be made tranquil slaves, sent to towers to be beaten and starved and r—”

“Enough!” Kakashi barks, and though his eyes spark, his tone remains measured. “You believe his anger is something to latch on to? I bid you, direct it at me and see how you fare.”

“Gladly,” the demon snarls, and something punches out of Sasuke, the violent heat vanishing as quickly as it came. He suspects his knees might give out if whatever magical force keeps him standing were not in place.

The demon enters Kakashi, who screams in pain and something else. Veins radiate outward from his eyes, and cracks seem to burst out beneath his skin, as if light were trying to push its way through. His eyes burn a bright, scarlet red.

“I will not…punish others…for their fears,” he grunts. “Otherwise…I become what they think…I am!” He throws himself back, away from his immobilised companions, clutching at his head as he battles the demon there. “And you forget…demon. I am not…in here…with you. You…are in here…with me!”

He falls forward on all fours, red tongues of flame exuding from his body, and then with a final scream, the surrounding air explodes into light. Another section of the path forms before him as he does so.

Once more, the ethereal voice whispers in the dark.

“You have overcome Rage, and in doing so, discovered the path to Justice. Do not lose sight of the enemy or you will become it.”

“Two down,” Kakashi pants, pulling himself to his feet and once more facing his companions. His attention falls on Sakura. “And what is it you would try to offer, demon?”

“Nothing you don’t want more than anything,” Sakura replies, but in a lower, breathier voice than Sasuke has ever heard. It makes his mouth go dry and his palms sweat even though the sheer unnaturalness of it sends a chill up his spine. It eradicates any of the leftover fire within him. “What every mage secretly wants, more than any bit of power.”

“And that is?”

“Not to be alone,” the creature wearing Sakura’s face purrs. “And that is something easily rectified.”

Kakashi seems to recoil. “If that is what you offer, you have gravely misread the situation.”

“Oh, come now, Kakashi-sensei,” ‘Sakura’ hums. “We both know who you see whenever you look at me. I make you remember…make you wish…” She trails off with a coy giggle here. “I can give her to you, you know. Or…I can be her.” She licks her lips. “Let me give you what you seek, Kakashi-sensei. What you long for.”

Sasuke’s eyes fly toward Kakashi, expecting to see his usual impassive expression, or casual denial.

But for a moment, there is a flicker in his eyes. As if he is—briefly—considering the ramifications.

It is gone just as quick, so fast Sasuke is sure he imagined it, and then Kakashi takes a step forward.

“There are others who need what you offer more than I,” Kakashi says stiffly. “The woman you speak of, she held the heart of a man who, without her, would be more lost and dangerous than anything imaginable. More than that, he would be broken. I could not live knowing I had done that to my best friend.” He pauses, eyes flitting to Sasuke as if his next words meant for him, and goes on, “I will not take from others only to benefit myself. And neither would the one you inhabit. She makes a poor host, I think.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” the demon runs her hands down Sakura’s body, and brushing against the curves hidden by armour. “There’s so much yearning stewing here. It would keep me entertained for years.”

“Then just imagine what a longing that can never be requited might offer you,” Kakashi suggests. “It would prove a more enticing challenge, do you not agree?”

“Oh, you’re amusing. I shall enjoy playing with your mind,” the demon murmurs. She gives a low, uncharacteristic giggle, and then Sakura’s entire body jolts, as if she was hit by electricity.

The purple haze surrounding her rushes at Kakashi, who shudders as it enters his body. He remains still for the longest time, head and shoulders thrown back as if he is being hung by his rib cage, and then he crumples to his feet again.

“The thing is…” Kakashi mumbles. “I…made my peace with this…a long time ago…In case I forgot to…mention…”

His body emits yet another burst of light and goes still.

“In the face of Desire and what she might offer, you cling to Compassion. Guard this in times of pain and hardship.”

The third part of the path materialises, and in the same moment, Sasuke senses his invisible bonds sever. He, Naruto and Sakura stagger, suddenly expected to hold up their weight.

“What the hell was that?” Naruto demands, shaking out his arms and legs.

“Demons,” Sasuke growls, his voice raw. “Spirits meant to test the mage.”

“Ugh, I feel so violated. And my throat tastes like I drank a vat of molasses or…animal fat. What about you, Sakura? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she says—rather abruptly, too, and in a higher voice than normal. “What about Sasuke? I mean, he was on fire.”

“Yeah, but he’s always so angry anyway, it was hard to even tell…”

Sasuke studies her, confused at her behaviour and wondering if the change is a remnant of the demon which had her. But when he catches her eye, she turns pink and looks away.

Embarrassment, he realises, though he does not understand why. They were each of them possessed, and yet they are fine, barring a few lingering side-effects. Sasuke still feels like he has sustained burns inside his skin from the Rage demon. And Sakura, she was possessed by a Desire demon, so it would stand to reason she might feel a little—

The penny drops.

Oh.

“So that’s it?” Naruto is asking, wandering toward the edge of the bridge; the others follow, with Sakura maintaining a conspicuous distance for Sasuke and refusing to look Kakashi in the eye. “What a cheat! Those demons took us over and didn’t even finish the damn bridge when they left!”

“This distance isn’t much,” Sakura observes. “You could cross easily, Kakashi. Or build a bridge of ice.” She peeks at him, looking guilty and apologetic, but he offers a small shake of the head; she had no control over the words spoken by the demon. “Perhaps even conjure a blast of magic to send one of us over?”

Kakashi turns his attention back to the bridge.

“I could,” he muses. Then he blinks, and a slow smile appears on his face, “but I will not.”

“Huh? How come?” Naruto asks.

“Because of the cost if I were to fail and lose one of you.”

“That is an unusual remark for someone usually so confident in their skills,” Sasuke points out.

“Perhaps. But I think it better to retrace our steps and see what we can do together rather than sacrifice what has already been gained on the overestimation of my abilities.”

He has barely finished the sentence when there is a thunderous crack, and the final part of the path locks into place.

“Many a man falls prey to Pride, but only one who knows Wisdom can defeat it.”

“Are you kidding?” Naruto demands. “That was the last test?”

“Mages are notorious for their pride,” Kakashi explains. “Most who succumb to demons and become abominations? It is Pride which fells them. I learned this the hard way when I was young. I pity myself the day I fall for it again.”

He considers them each, and he might be smiling at them beneath his mask. Sasuke shifts, a strange, not-quiet comfortable sensation welling within him; he hesitates to call it relief.

“Come on,” he says out loud instead. “Let us cross the rest of this damn thing before it disappears again.”

“And get ready,” Sakura agrees as they head for the door, “because there’s one test left. And I think we know who it’s for.”

“Aw, damn it…” Naruto complains.

Translation:

Harrowing – Ritual which mages undergo in the Fade to ensure they can control their magic; those who can’t are executed by the Templars

Comments and concrit are much appreciated, and very motivating! For information about supporting my original, non-fandom related works, you’re welcome to check out my ko-fi tip jar, or my patreon page. 

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“Yeah, Naruto, don’t tempt fate,” Sakura complains.

Naruto pulls away from Sasuke, shoving him roughly and sulking. “Sheesh, I didn’t mean anything by it…”

“This place is ancient and eldritch,” Kakashi says. “I would not be surprised if the very walls are enchanted, so watch even your words if you must.”

They exchange wary glances and start forward—there is only one way to go, after all.

The archway they walk beneath leads to another old chamber, which at first glance appears to lead off into several directions. As they step farther into the space, it becomes clear that they are domed alcoves instead of pathways; at its end, a door.  Fog and dust line the ground, and as they approach the centre of the room, shapes swirl into being within each of the eight alcoves.

“Ghosts,” Naruto hisses, holding his shield closer to him as if it will defend against such things. The apparitions are colourless and without mass, and yet they hold shape as they hover in place, staring vacantly into space.

Gingerly, Sakura takes a step forward. Sasuke half expects the beings to attack them, but none of them move, not even as she crosses the hall and heads for the door.

“There’s no handle or key here,” she announces, glancing back at the others.

“It would seem our new companions might hold the answer to this conundrum,” Kakashi suggests.

“Great. Breaking and entering advice from ghosts,” Sakura sighs and approaches one image. “This is so creepy…” She stands before the ghost, that of a young woman with wide eyes and whose hair is held back with a strange headpiece.

“Er…how do we open the door?” she asks.

“The smallest lark could carry it, while a strong man might not,” the apparition whispers. “Of what do I speak?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Naruto demands.

“That is not the right answer.”

“Naruto!” Sakura cries out in dismay, but the ghost’s sudden keening wail almost drowns her out.

The shape vanishes in a burst of bright light. In her place, four swirling masses of dust whirl up in front of them, formless except for torsos that open onto their insides, ribs and intestines lined with jagged teeth. Clawed arms lash out at them, forcing the party to jump back.

“Ash wraiths!” Kakashi shouts, as one of them wafts forward, slashing outward with its clawed arms at Sakura. She jumps back, but instead of landing in a crouch, her foot slips in the moving dust behind her. She tumbles backward. The other creature slams into Naruto, who only just blocks the attack with his shield, while the two remaining wraiths charge Kakashi and Sasuke.

“Do not use flame!” Sasuke orders, nocking one of his ice-enchanted arrows. “It will be useless against these things.”

He looses the arrow at the closest wraith, which avoids it by dissolving into an incorporeal cloud of ash before reforming. Sasuke’s second arrow finds its mark, sailing through unprotected innards. The wraith gives an enraged shriek, before collapsing into nothingness, not reforming this time.

In the meantime, Kakashi’s hands glow blue, and hundreds of shards of ice skewer upward into the other wraith, penetrating it like a pincushion.

“Kakashi!” Naruto barks, still grappling with his adversary. He knocks it backward with his shield, aiming in Kakashi’s direction. Before it can avoid the blow by dissembling into dust, another blast of ice from Kakashi obliterates it into grey flakes of ashy snow. Beyond them, Sasuke hears an explosion. Sakura tosses another of her Freeze Bombs into the air, encapsulating her opponent within and rendering it little more than a grotesque ice statue.

The chamber goes quiet again, but for their laboured breathing. Through all this the remaining apparitions do not move or speak or show any sign of noticing the presence of the living.

The frozen ash wraith statue bursts, emitting another blinding swatch of light. This shines upon the door they tried to enter earlier, and a sound like a chain being pulled through a channel echoes around them.

The wraiths vanish in another burst of light, which shines upon the door beyond them. There is a sound like a chain being pulled, and a disembodied voice whispers in the chamber.

“I was Kaguya’s attendant, and closest confidante. And to comfort her, I would sing. She sought the beauty in all life, and my singing brought her joy. But then she heard the melody of the God Tree and could no longer be lulled by simple songs.”

“Songs?” Sakura wonders.

“Shh, Sakura, don’t say anything!” Naruto hisses. “You’ll bring more of those things down on us!”

“If that were the case, you opening your mouth would do the same,” Sasuke says dryly. “I do not believe it is mere speech that wakes these spirits.”

“I suspect you have to speak to them directly,” Kakashi suggests.

“Songs…carry it…” Sakura repeats and after a spell, punches her fist into her palm. “Oh! A tune! I understand now—they’re riddles.” She points at the door. “To open the door, we need to solve all the riddles.”

“Riddles from ghosts. How quaint,” Kakashi sighs with the weight of a laboured groan. “Well, I imagine all of these individuals were part of Kaguya’s life. Perhaps even her death.”

“That would make sense.”

“Analytical thinking is your area of expertise, Sakura.”

Sasuke mumbles, “Best gag Naruto just in case.”

“Oi!”

But Naruto keeps conspicuously silent as Sakura wanders to the next ghost, listening intently to the clue it has for her. A young man, who has horns on his head like the Kossith in the north. There is a gem set in his brow, and he wears a necklace of magatama.

“She wields the broken sword and separates the kings from tyrants,” the ghost intones. “Of what do I speak?”

Sakura mouths the words to herself soundlessly, and then comprehension dawns.

“Mercy,” she declares.

“Yes,” the spirit says. “I could not bear the pain of my mother’s corruption and suffering, and mercy bade me end her life. I am the penitent sinner who shows compassion as he hopes compassion will be shown to him.”

This time when the brilliant light encompasses the chamber, no ash wraiths rise. Only the sound of another lock in the door being loosened.

“I believe that was Hagoromo, the eldest of Kaguya’s sons,” Kakashi muses. “He was of great importance to the first mages of this continent.”

“Who cares who he was?” Sasuke says. “Let us get through this.”

“Says the one who won’t be doing the hard thinking,” Sakura quips, a wry smile on her face. But she approaches the next apparition as gamely as possible.

The rest of the procession of ghosts and their respective riddles are handled successfully although it is time consuming. Sakura asks for their words, and answers after a moment of contemplation. Only once does she falter, near the end of the corridor.

“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,” an angry-looking man in ancient imperial garb declares. “The debt of blood must be paid in full. Of what do I speak?”

“Vengeance,” Sakura says eventually, eyes trained on Sasuke.

“Yes,” the ghost speaks. “When news came to me that a foreign wench from the Land of Ancestors had killed my scouts, I hunted her down to show her the might of my kingdom. I am justice. I am vengeance. Blood can only be repaid in blood.”

Sasuke shivers a little at this, the words hitting too close to heart. Was that not what brought him here? And yet, he realises dimly, the words the Guardian spoke earlier somehow diminish that truth.

Something has changed.

There is no time to dwell on this realisation, as the door they have been working towards finally opens. The stone doors scrape against the ground, leading them into another chamber.

This one appears to be better lit, and much larger.

 “I guess that means we beat the first test,” Naruto observes.

“Sakura beat the first test,” Kakashi says. “No doubt we will all be tried before this is over.”

Torchlight illuminates the path. Before them is another large, open chamber, with a central column as wide as the four of them standing abreast. The light and air current from beyond suggest both sides lead to the same location, but at the moment, the path is blocked.

A young woman stands there—a dwarf, Sasuke notes, based on her stature and buxom frame. She is blonde, with hair that falls over one eyes, and a mouth that curves into a sharp smile.

“Ino?” Sakura gasps.

“Hey, Forehead, what’s shapin’?” the blond, buxom stranger says with a smirk. Her voice echoes in a manner that is not entirely human.

Sakura seems about to rush forward and throw her arms around the other woman, but pauses, remembering herself.

“You’re not real,” she sighs sadly.

“I’m plenty real. I’m just not actually here, am I?” Ino replies. “Can you blame me? There’s so much to do these days. Just this morning I had to run from another bunch of Sasori’s damned puppets. They want to take me apart layer by layer. I didn’t even realise I had that many layers.” She snorts and tosses her hair. “Did I mention they were real upset about the Proving thing?”

“You know I had to leave,” Sakura murmurs sadly.

“That’s the way it goes, isn’t it? You can’t afford to think of the past. You have to look forward.” Ino’s expression softens. “I’m proud of you for moving on…and also at the improvement in your taste.”

Sasuke feels suddenly like the figure is looking at him.

“Ino…my parents…?” Sakura begins.

“From what I heard, they’re alive,” the other dwarf replies. “Right after you disappeared into the Deep Roads, they hightailed it surfaceside. Decided to become merchants on the off-chance you came out somewhere on the other side.”

“Really?” Sakura whispers.

“That’s what Ino hopes,” the apparition says. “The truth of it is yet another quest for you to embark on.” It turns to Kakashi, and suddenly its expression morphs into that of an older man with soft eyes and a gentle smile.

Sasuke suddenly has an idea of what the mage’s face might look like beneath his mask.

“Kakashi…”

“I know you are not him, spirit,” Kakashi says. “I made peace with my father’s death during my Harrowing. He would not return.”

“Perhaps…or perhaps you did not know him as you thought you did,” the spirit with the face of Kakashi’s sire suggests. “But you…you have come so far since I last saw you. The last vestiges of your shackled life in the Circle have all-but fallen away. You are free of the past and nothing will hold you back. Be strong, my son, and do not falter.”

The mage’s mouth works beneath his mask. “Such a thing was never in question.”

“Only late at night and all alone,” the man replies, and faces Naruto.

In his place, a man with a scar across the bridge of his nose looks down at Naruto with obvious fondness.

“Now, look at you,” he chuckles. “You haven’t changed a bit, Naruto.”

“Iruka…Iruka-sensei,” the human warrior chokes out. “I…I’m so glad to see you. Even though I… even though you’re dead.”

“Yes, I am. You know that I am gone and all your prayers and dreams and hopes for the reverse will not bring me back,” the man says, with the air of one who is used to giving a lecture. “I know you must miss me, but my death and my life no longer have a hold on you. This is how it should be. Set your eyes on the horizon—your future blazes like a sun. Do not look back and do not falter.”

When the apparition turns to Sasuke, he instinctively knows who he will see and that he cannot stop it. Still, it is physically jarring when his brother’s face forms in front of him—the almost identical facial features that Sasuke sees in his reflection every day. On his brother’s face, they are sharper and hollower.

“Hello, little brother.”

Naruto and Kakashi emit badly hidden noises of surprise, but Sakura does not. She knows who he is. Sasuke’s throat works uselessly, and he tries to will himself to speak.

“Itachi,”” he croaks. “Does this mean you are dead?”

Does this mean my search for revenge has been in vain?

“I am part of the Gauntlet and a part of you,” the creature wearing his brothers face tells him. “Death is immaterial here, footsteps in the dust.”

“I suppose you want me to say I regret trying to find you?” Sasuke snaps. 

“Some things lost can never be found. Some mistakes never unmade,” the false Itachi murmurs. “Those that survive must go on living. You have suffered enough, thinking that you could have changed events—that seeking me out will bring you closure. It is time to leave that behind, to move past the horror of that night.”

“A horror you caused.”

“Yes. No. Perhaps.” The false Itachi inclines his head. “Whatever the truth, I envy you. You can go on to other things.” His eyes rest on Sakura. “Things I can only dream of. But then, I always knew you would. Heed my words, brother, the next test is for you: to face who you are and who you were and decide which will live to see the day.”

The apparition reaches for him, two fingers hovering before his eyes, the same way that Itachi used to do when they were children. Sasuke can almost feel them tap him on the forehead when the figure disappears.

Maybe next time, Sasuke.

He remains frozen for a long while, his entire body seized as if to ward off an attack, his brain puzzling over the words. The lump in his throat grows more painful by the second.

The world only comes back to him when there is a small touch to his wrist. Dimly, as if half-asleep, he looks down to see Sakura’s fingers tentatively brushing the skin there. He meets her gaze, sees permission, and does not pull away when she wraps her hand around his, giving it a brief squeeze.

He is not one for overt display, and under normal circumstances it might bother him the way Kakashi’s eyebrows go up and Naruto makes a noise of scandalised disbelief. But seeing Itachi in such close quarters, even if it was not truly him, stirs up far too many confusing emotions within him to name.

He is dizzy, angry, sad—

And his knees feel like they are about to fall out from under him. Sakura’s grip is soft but promises the strength to hold him up should he fall.

You go on to other things. Things I can only dream of.

Sasuke realises in that moment that things have progressed further than he ever would have expected. Especially if, when called to lean upon anyone, his immediate preference is the small dwarven woman with the offensive coloured hair and eyes as brilliant as feladara.

Translations:

Fenedhis – a common curse word; literal translation would be “shit”, “fuck” or “goddamn”

Feladara - elfroot

I tweaked some of the tests a bit for logic and plot purposes. In the game, the shadows of the past are only supposed to be the Warden, but I thought that was stupid, since the Warden usually goes in with party members. So I decide they all have to face their past. Because reasons ?

Comments and concrit are much appreciated, and very motivating! For information about supporting my original, non-fandom related works, you’re welcome to check out my ko-fi tip jar, or my patreon page. 

栗

Fists clenched, he glances back at the door they came through, past the archway and the riddle chamber. The way is now shut. Kakashi said the only way out is through, and Sasuke decides that as soon as they are finished with this foolhardy expedition, he will leave.

He has become weak beside them and forgotten himself.

“Sasuke-kun?” Sakura prompts, the note of concern causing a muscle in his jaw to clench.

 Just how much of that weakness is because of her?

He does not answer, instead turning to Kakashi. “Whatever nonsense you are spewing, we do not have time for it.” He jerks his head to the chamber before them. “We are halfway through this travesty of a trial, let us be done with it.”

Kakashi’s eyebrow raises higher, but he does not offer another comment.

“Actually…” Sakura begins faintly, but a beat later her voice comes as strong as ever. “I don’t think that was a test just now. I think…I think it was a reward.”

Sasuke cannot help looking back at her now, if only to shoot her a disbelieving look.

“You call that a reward?” Naruto demands, voicing his own reservations.

“In a way, it was,” Kakashi says, standing beside Sakura. “A chance to face the past is a rare opportunity not offered to all who seek it.”

“Are we going?” Sasuke interrupts, impatient. He heads for the left side of the antechamber, not bothering to wait for the others. There is another arched doorway before him and he makes his way toward it—

Only to freeze when he sees the unexpected individual on the other side.

At first, he wonders if he has come face to face with a particularly clear mirror. His identical image stares back at him, the only discernable difference in the blank cast of the eyes. But he finds no glass here, and the rise and fall of the other elf’s chest is out of sync with his own.

The rest of his party catches up, pausing behind him. As they near the archway, shadows appear beside Sasuke’s double: facsimiles of the other three.

“That’s…us,” Naruto points out, nonplussed.

“It seems we are meant to battle ourselves,” Kakashi muses. “If that is not symbolism, I do not know what is.”

“Tch. It’s irritating, is what it is,” Sasuke says.

“We still have to get through it,” Sakura reminds him.

Naruto hefts his sword and shield. “Well, they won’t take care of themselves. Let’s get busy!”

Sasuke shrugs—there is not much else for it—and steps over the threshold.

Instantly, his doppelgänger fires an arrow in his direction, forcing Sasuke to duck and those behind him to scatter. He does not pause in his advance, raising his own bow and sending a volley of arrows back. Sasuke’s comrades regroup, quickly clashing with their own doubles.

In close quarters, Sasuke and his twin clash with daggers, hacking and slicing at each other, lashing out with hidden blades or sharp kicks to vulnerable body parts. Each of these is blocked with ease, and their strength is so equal they end up staggering backward and away from one another. Only to dash forward once again.

Up close, Sasuke notices that though their faces are blank and lifeless—like puppets controlled by a string—their opponents are deadly and quick.

Every strength he has, so does the other, and wherever he compensates for weakness, his double does as well. In the periphery of his vision, he notes Kakashi trading blasts of magic with his doppelgänger. Fire cancels out ice, electricity renders waves of earth to nothing but dust in the air. Naruto and his clone trade blows of shield and sword, their movements telegraphed like a dance, while Sakura and her twin grasp each other by the hands. Both dwarves try to wrestle the other to the ground but cannot break the stalemate.

“We can’t keep doing this!” Naruto grunts, ducking a swing of the shield from his opponent.

Sasuke does not want to agree, but he has little choice. Their doubles will probably never tire, and he does not have the luxury of waiting around to get a lucky shot. Especially when that lucky shot might be against him.

“We need to treat this as any other attack,” Sakura calls out. “The same way we face any group of enemies.”

Take out the mage, then pick off the ranged fighters while distracting the foot soldiers.

There is no need to speak this plan aloud, as they have been fighting together long enough to know what tactics work. Naruto steps up his speed, knocking his double momentarily off-balance, and takes a swipe at Sakura’s opponent. While he engages the enemy dwarf, Sakura takes a run at Sasuke’s twin, distracting him long enough that Sasuke can slip into the shadows. He sneaks up behind Kakashi’s copy, fitting another arrow. In a perfect world, once they defeat the enemy mage, Sasuke and Kakashi can rain down a hail of arrows and magic on the remaining fighters.

But that is not what happens.

Naruto is soon overwhelmed by the combination of his and Sakura’s clones, thrown backward by their force and reduced to simply dodging. And Kakashi’s doppelgänger might be trading blows with their mage, but it does not stop him from trapping Sasuke in place with a paralysis hex.

As the elf waits helplessly for the spell to wear off, Sakura falters in front of his double, unable to deliver a crippling punch to the back of his neck. The other Sasuke takes advantage, lashing out behind him with a knife that she only just dodges, the blade cutting across her cheek. The doppelgänger tries to follow up with a lethal slash to her throat, but Sasuke deflects this with an arrow as the paralysis hex dissipates.

Only to find himself knocked painfully across the face with the blunt edge of the enemy mage’s staff.

Stars circling his vision, Sasuke backs away, trying to reorient himself. He slips back toward the antechamber, taking cover behind the large statue there.

He is not the only one; soon the rest of his comrades are beside him, cradling various injuries and fending off attempts by their doubles to follow them into the small room.

“Can I just say…what the hell?” Naruto demands, blood streaming from his nose and mouth where the edge of his opponent’s shield clipped him. “Are we really that tough? No wonder no one’s ever beat us yet!”

Kakashi and Sasuke take their places at either end of the room, hovered in the shadows of the archways to guard from magic and metal projectiles. Sasuke discovers he must pick up a lot of the slack because apparently Naruto’s double uses more Templar abilities than the real one does. It dispels any of Kakashi’s larger invocations with ease.

“This trial is not just fighting ourselves,” Kakashi muses. “It is fighting our best selves. Imagine yourself at your most focussed, your strongest, most well-rested…”

“Compared to starving and exhausted and bleeding internally?” Sakura grumbles, frustration colouring her normal cheer. “We should still be able to do this. They’re us for Stone’s sake! We know our own weaknesses better than anyone!”

“And so do they,” Sasuke says, sending a volley of freezing arrows out to stop Sakura and Naruto’s clones from coming closer. “They are not regular opponents. Regular tactics will not work here because we are not regular individuals. Each of us have specific skills and talents that when used in conjunction with each other makes it a difficult force to beat.”

“So, you’re saying they’re stronger together,” Naruto suggests, and then groans. “Well, no shit! Why do you think we swapped opponents? To separate them and make ‘em easier to beat!”

“No,” Sasuke replies as Kakashi creates sends a fireball at Sasuke’s double. “You have been trying to exploit the weaknesses you know. Not the ones you might not.”

“That makes no sense!”

“Oh!” Sakura blurts, staring at Sasuke in surprise. “Yes—yes it does!”

“I believe an explanation is warranted?” Kakashi suggests, summoning a blizzard into the other room. It will not last long, especially with Naruto’s twin able to nullify it, but it will buy them time.

“Sasuke’s an assassin! He tried to kill us all before, so he would have to know our weaknesses,” she explains. “I look out there, and I see my friends. I see your strengths and maybe the most obvious weaknesses. A blind side or a weak ankle. But Sasuke…you had to find the unexpected weaknesses when you were hired to kill us!” They wince as Kakashi’s double sends an invisible rock through the air, making the entire chamber shake dangerously. “Tell us—how would you kill us, if you still had to?”

Naruto makes a startled choking noise and Kakashi looks grim beneath his mask, but Sasuke knows what she wants. He nods.

He turns his attention back to the individuals barring their way, and he orders his mind to disassociate from the people beside him. To see these familiar faces as nothing more than targets.

“You must do as I say,” he orders. “Do not question it, just do it.” When the others nod, Naruto warier than the others, he goes on: “This is what needs to happen…”

His mind races with every detail he has unconsciously collected on these people since they met, thinking of every scenario and personal failing that can be exploited. As he outlines what amount to his early plans for murdering each of the other three, Naruto grinds his teeth and Kakashi’s brow furrows. Sasuke does not allow himself to even acknowledge Sakura’s reaction.

With the plan set, they take one last moment of relative safety behind the wall, and then rush forward as one. Kakashi and Sasuke, as usual, offer cover for Sakura and Naruto to get to their doubles. To the unknowing eye, their tactics are the same as earlier.

As they fight their individual battles to stalemate, Sasuke remains keenly aware of everyone else’s position. He tracks when his comrades subtly and slowly move into a formation. At last, Kakashi’s doppelgänger is on one side of the chamber, while the other three are herded away from him.

That’s it!

“Now!” Sasuke orders, ducking the blow of his double and somersaulting toward his enemy, firing off three arrows as he rolls to his feet. The enemy burns the shafts to cinders, but Sasuke does not let up, sending volley after volley onward to keep him busy. Meanwhile, Kakashi telekinetically blasts Sasuke’s double, sending him flying across the flor. Sakura and Naruto disengage from their opponents and make a break for the enemy mage while Kakashi summons a freezing blast over the other three. He focusses his assault on Naruto’s double—if he is too immobilised, he cannot use his Templar abilities to nullify the magic.

Sakura and Naruto zero in on Kakashi’s double from both sides, while Sasuke pelts him with arrows from greater and greater distances. Cloaked in the shadowed corners of the room, he searches for an opening. Kakashi’s clone deflects the missiles, using his staff to keep Naruto and Sakura out of his range as he does so.

“Sooner would be better!” Kakashi calls, maintaining his onslaught of ice on the three enemies as he speaks. There is a worrying edge of exhaustion there, suggesting he is running out of mana.

Naruto’s clone twitches, but Sasuke cannot allow himself to dwell on that. Instead, his eyes trail the arc of the enemy mage’s staff, trying to catch the patterns and repetitions in its movement, the openings in the sweeping motion—

There!

He lets one arrow fly at just the right time, and it slides through the air, sneaking through a gap before the mage’s staff can deflect it. It slams into the man’s breastbone with a sickening wet crack that sends him staggering backward.

“Finish it!” Sasuke orders. Though he senses hesitation on both Naruto and Sakura’s faces, they move forward in unison. Naruto shoves his sword forward, punching through the mage’s abdomen, and Sakura’s axe sweeps out, lopping head from shoulders.

The body slumps with a nauseating sound, its head several feet away.

Naruto swears in disgust, and Sakura’s free hand goes to her mouth in horror, but they do not have time for feelings.

“Pull yourselves together, it is not him, you fools!” Sasuke snarls, because they do not have time to give in to sentiment.

“R-right,” Sakura says, and hurries past the mage’s body.

Naruto’s double has finally thrown off Kakashi’s spell and emitted a blast of purifying energy to dispel the magic. The Templar has a tendency to pop up where they do not want him, having all of Naruto’s skills when it comes to speed. Sakura and Sasuke both have an eye for his weaknesses and flank him together. Meanwhile, Naruto makes a play for Sakura’s double, distracting her. It should be easier this time without his doppelgänger backing her up, and with Kakashi keeping Sasuke’s twin occupied by several blasts of arcane power.

The Templar ends up being more of a challenge than Sasuke expected, focussing his efforts on eliminating who he considers the weaker opponent. Taking out the archer is, of course, the preferred opening strategy of their group. Sasuke’s teeth rattle as the edge of the Templar’s shield catches him in the head, for once being a hair too slow to dodge it. Dizzy, he sees the flash of a blade heading for him and knows he will not be able to move in time to avoid critical injury.

There is a wordless yell of rage, and the templar folds from behind as Sakura tackles him, knocking him to the ground. As they wrestle on the floor, the struggle causes Naruto’s double to lose his helm. Sakura takes quick advantage of this, delivering one final, solid punch downward.

Blood spurts and bone breaks, before the familiar blond figure gives a full-body twitch and goes still.

Two down, Sasuke thinks dimly, as he gets his balance back. He opens his mouth to tell Sakura to go for his twin but pauses when he notices the bone-white colour of her face.

He has seen her injured near the point of death, terrified by giant, poison-spewing spiders or agonised at the sight of broken bodied villagers destroyed by the Blight. But the expression on her face is of utter anguish—a woman being burned alive or torn to shreds. Naruto is her friend, in many ways her brother, and doppelgänger or not, she was forced to kill him.

It hits Sasuke for the first time, how this must feel to the others. That by the end of this trial they will all know the feeling of murdering a comrade.

And how he led them to do this without thought. He switched off his own feelings with sickening ease and expected them to do the same. Sakura requested this of him, and rather than stop her, he let her burden herself with an experience that will haunt her always, no matter the artifice involved.

His empty stomach clenches, and he might give in to the urge to vomit, if it were not for the fact two of the doppelgangers remain.

Sakura is shaking when she looks up at him.

“Are you okay?” she asks him, strained. It boggles the mind because in a way, she just killed her closest friend, but she wants to know if he is all right.

He is saved the trouble of answering as the archer’s arrows throw Kakashi backward, and Sakura darts over to help him. At the same time, Naruto takes a run at Sasuke’s double. He knocks him aside, deflecting a finishing blow by hammering at him with his fists, and Sasuke remains alone to face Sakura’s empty-eyed twin.

He has seen her spar in close quarters before, and she has excellent defences. If he has any chance of keeping her occupied, let alone winning, he will need to fight dirty.

Dodging and sliding past the punishing blows of her axe and her fist, Sasuke slices outward with his knife. Every so often he darts into her attack range, risking a crippling blow if she catches him, on the off-chance that he can unlatch the ties in her armour. Whenever he comes close, the nicks in the leather straps and ties wear a little thinner. Every bruise and glancing blow from her makes his bones shatter, but every bit helps.

When her breast-plate finally falls away, she does not bother reattaching it, too keen on making a grab for his neck. If she catches hold of him, he will die—but she has left an opening.

Sasuke lunges with his dagger.

She expects this, blocking him so strongly with her bracer that the bones in his left arm snap. But he is already following through with the other hand—and the dagger he had concealed there. It is one of the enchanted blades they have picked up, crackling with electricity from a lightning rune. He thrusts it forward with all his might into the fleshy part between her ribs.

Her breath punches out of her, the sound a facsimile of surprise.

He knows, distantly, that it is not real, but that does not stop the sense of accusation in the her staring green eyes. In that moment, the wall he erected between his task and the grim reality of the situation vanishes. He is left staring at his hand in Sakura’s chest, her blood dripping down his wrist.

In the distance, he hears a body hit the floor—his double, he suspects—and the others calling out to confirm they have all made it through in one piece. But his victim’s blank-green eyes keep Sasuke prisoner, and he finds himself unable to breathe even as the body slides backwards off his blade and to the ground.

This time he does not try to stop the bile from rising and spilling from his throat

Comments and concrit are much appreciated, and very motivating! For information about supporting my original, non-fandom related works, you’re welcome to check out my ko-fi tip jar, or my patreon page. 

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“Aw, come on! You mean this place meets back around again in the middle?” Naruto complains.

“Looks like,” Sakura says, glancing at the new hallway that branches downward. “I guess this passage leads to another lower level, and the grand door we’re trying to open will bring us to the mountain.” Her eyes rove over Naruto. “What happened to you? Looks like you went three rounds with an ogre.”

“Something like that. It was awesome, Sakura, you should have seen it!” Naruto boasts. “There was this thing, sort of like a…hm, a druffalo but a lot meaner, and with horns and scales and—”

“Sounds like a bronto,” Sakura says, giving Naruto an admiring look. “We used them to move heavy loads back home. They can be gentle, but the Carta and the nobles bred them to be savages. They’ll trample any stranger they encounter, so you two are lucky to be alive.”

Naruto rubs his nose. “Well, I’m that impressive.”

“You still reek,” Sasuke interjects. “Did you two find anything in your search?”

“Sort of,” Sakura suggests, holding up a faded, ripped piece of vellum. “We found a storage room with a lot of useless junk, but I nicked this off a skeleton. Based on where we’ve been,  looks to be a map, and I think this—” She indicates a square-shape, “—might be an armoury or vault. Maybe barracks? I bet we’ll find something more useful soon.”

“And if not?”

“If not, we go back to that door, I open it, and you three go on,” Kakashi says.

“We’ll find something,” Sakura insists, and the others know better than to argue with her.

Their group reunited once more, they descend the stone staircase and meander through more underground passages and rooms.

Sakura was not wrong about there being all manner of items down here. Satchels of rations and healing herbs, as well as a plethora of keys which appear to open every door but the one they need. It is an exercise in frustration that has even Sakura’s optimistic demeanour wavering.

Then come the rooms with the traps.

Flames shoot up at them through pressure panels in the floor, and tripwires send projectiles flying at them. Twice Kakashi must yank Naruto back from iron vices hidden beneath false debris, which snap shut with the force to break bone. Sakura also nearly ends up prey to a sleeping poison before Sasuke pulls her out of the way, catching her around the shoulders when she wavers.

Their eyes seek each other out, and she telegraphs a silent thanks to him before he releases her.

It is slow going after that, as between Sakura and Kakashi they try to decide how to navigate or disarm the blighted traps. There is no opportunity to rest once they escape that chamber, because almost the moment they enter the next corridor, they are assaulted by more cultists. Wave upon wave hurry forward to deal with the interlopers, forcing the small outfit to pause in their progression and deal with them. They barely have time to recover before another drove arrives.

Every new corridor brings more of the same until Sasuke wonders if they might not be fighting the unkillable dead. It is a monotonous, exhausting pattern: enter a new hallway or chamber, give a cursory examination that no one has mortal wounds, and prepare to fight the next wave of cultists.

Hours go by like that.

And then there’s the drake.

A swooping scaled dragonkin monstrosity that attacks them from above the minute they enter the chamber Sakura pointed out on her map. The creature cannot fly like a female dragon can, but still leaps over great distances and scales the walls with its tensile claws. Blasts of fire bathe them from all directions.

Like the bronto, this animal’s hide also appears resistant to forged blades. The party of four is forced to whittle away at it hoping something will eventually penetrate its hide.

Sakura was right about needing Kakashi to save his strength because the beast nearly kills them all. Right when all of them seem about to collapse from exhaustion and the shredding wounds from the creature’s claws, the mage casts a revitalising spell to recoup their strength. He staggers to his knees, ashen-faced, but the other three can now battle the beast with renewed vigour. Despite his spell taking so much out of him, Kakashi continues to set a barrage of hexes and curses upon the beast.

Sasuke knows that he will continue to fight until he drops dead.

It is a joint effort that kills it: Kakashi’s magic, Sasuke blinding it with his arrows, and Naruto drawing its attention by facing it head-on. Sakura deals the final blow from behind, vaulting aboard its back and using her considerable strength to snap its neck.

When the beast lies dead at their feet, Sasuke notices something trapped beneath one of the larger scales behind its head. It takes a bit of wheedling, but eventually he pulls out a round, hexagonal bit of iron. 

“That looks like the lock on the door,” Sakura says in surprise when he hands it to her.

“They hid it on the drake?” Naruto demands. “These people really are insane!”

“I do not envy the man who had to put this here to begin with,” Kakashi wheezes. “Even a mage would have trouble with that.”

“Whatever the circumstance for it being here, we can get out of this place now,” Sasuke points out. “Let us go.”

Sakura tilts her head to one side, considering him and then glancing at Kakashi. There is a frown tugging at her lips—her calculating face—before she decides.

“According to the map, there are no other passages leading here, and this place is well-fortified. Since we’ve already taken care of everything that could attack us, I think we should stop and rest,” Sakura says. “Whatever waits beyond us may not know we’re here. But once we go through the door in the large hall, we’ll have more challenges to face. And I have a bad feeling there won’t be any more chances to rest.”

Naruto looks grim, and nods. Apparently, he feels the same unnameable suspicion. Sasuke suspects this is more of the Warden curse they share.

“Normally I would argue we don’t have the time,” Kakashi says. “But…I think I will need a moment. Or several.”

“So, it’s settled,” Naruto says. “We take a break—and then we go kick more ass.”

It is not what Sasuke might have chosen, but he cannot argue with the need for respite. His skin burns and his muscles ache from their exertions that day. If they are to make the rest of the journey up the mountain in the damned snow, he needs to be able to walk.

Kakashi goes to the edge of the room as far as possible from them but still within the wards. He has explained before, that to centre himself, he cannot be influenced by any of their energy. Sitting cross-legged, he puts himself into a deep trance, meant to help him restore his magic. Naruto, in the meantime, catches an hour or two of sleep.  Sakura busies herself with sharpening her axe, trying to mend the dents in it from their encounter with the drake. Every so often she will wince and check her side—the one that Sasuke treated—before going back to work.

After the third instance of this, Sasuke goes to sit beside her.

“You should get some sleep, too,” he says, lest Naruto or Kakashi be eavesdropping, but his chin juts toward the place where her hand rests.

“No, I’m fine,” she replies, answering both his suggestion and unspoken question. “Besides, I found something while Kakashi and I scouted that other tunnel earlier. It will help much more than sleep.”

She holds up a pewter flask. Based on the grin on her face, he can guess what the contents.

“Is that really the best idea right now?” he wonders. “We are already on a quest that makes me question your judgement. I do not think alcohol would be an added benefit.”

“Please,” she scoffs. “You think this is enough to get your drunk?” Her eyes flick over him judgementally. “Well, maybe it would knock an elf on his ass.”

He scowls at her and snatches the flash from her, flipping open the top. He has had enough taunting from Naruto today, he refuses to take it from her too.

“I wouldn’t—” she begins, but he has already taken a huge gulp.

And promptly grips his throat in agony.

“Fenedhis!” he chokes, tossing the flask away. She catches it before it hits the ground. “What foul creature defecated into this poison?”

Sakura sniggers and takes a sip without even a grimace. “Dwarven ale. If it doesn’t kill you…you’ll wish it did.”

“Why would you drink that?” he spits, digging through his pack for a water skin or noxious herb to take away the taste. “You would be better served throwing it at an enemy and hoping it melts his face off.”

“It’s not so bad after the first sip. After that, all the nerves in your throat are too numb to notice.”

She takes another sip, only a slight twitch betraying the effect of the alcohol on her. Then she passes it back to him. Sasuke hesitates a moment before accepting and taking the second swig.

It still tastes the way he imagines burning halla droppings and sylvan blood might taste, but she was right about it being less painful this time. There is a distinct lack of feeling in his throat this time. Luckily, her promise of the other thing is also correct: warmth spreads down his oesophagus to his gut and then beyond.

At his noise of surprise, she grins, and then the expression morphs into something gentler. Sasuke finds his own mouth pulling into an unfamiliar upward direction, and for some reason this makes her eyes sparkle. Her cheeks turn rosy and she quickly looks away, reaching for the flask again.

Over the next hour, time stretches between them as they sit in a companionable, comfortable silence. Somewhere in the midst of it, he forgets that they are in a frozen mountain, surrounded by blood-crazed lunatics, ancient beasts and whatever else lies ahead. Hands linger on each other as they pass the flask back and forth, and when she makes a particularly bad joke, he groans with something between amusement and disgust. His shoulders, so used to bearing the weight of his past, seem less burdened just then, and though he knows it is a false reprieve, he does not mind.

Still, the next time she passes him the ale, he shakes his head. “No. Any more, and neither of us will be battle ready.”

“Speak for yourself! It’s colder than an apostate’s tit in here, even if we’re out of the wind. We’ll burn off the booze in no-time just trying to keep warm.” A mischievous look enters her eyes then, tinged with something darker as she leans forward. “Of course, there are better ways of getting warm.”

The air between them is heavy with implication. Perhaps the alcohol is affecting him more than expected, because he replies slyly, “I should have known a dwarf would be an exhibitionist.”

She blinks in confusion.

“Exi…? Oh!” Sakura goes red and looks away from him, abruptly embarrassed and shy. “I’m not. At least I don’t think I am, I’ve never…” Her gaze flicks back to their resting companions and then her back stiffens. She casts her eyes about their surroundings as if she too has forgotten where they are sitting. When her gaze lands on him again, she offers a tight smile. “I guess you have a point. I suppose it’s too much to hope this place has a room with a plush bed and a roaring fire?”

She offers it to him as a lighthearted, flirtatious joke, but there is a false note in it. He knows that whatever spell settled over them before is broken now. He is more disappointed than he expected to be but understands the necessity of maintaining boundaries. Now is not the time for…ill-advised liaisons.

Whatever arguments certain parts of his anatomy would like to make to the contrary.

“We should save some of this for Naruto and Kakashi,” she goes on, “if only to see their faces after that first sip.”

Her eyes crinkle as she watches the other two. There is a fondness there, soft and protective, and far beyond how a person looks at mere travel companions.

“You care for them,” he says, and does not understand the stiffness in his voice.

“I do. We’re friends.”

“No. It is beyond that,” he says, trying to think of a way to articulate properly. “You love them in a way that is beyond friendship.”

And what is that needling, sour sensation he gets in his gut at that notion?

Sakura does not even bother thinking about it. “They’re also my family.”

“You have not known them long,” he points out.

“That doesn’t make it any less true. They were both at Kannabi Bridge,” she explains. “Kakashi looked out for me while I was wandering around the camp. I was this silly little dwarf who’d never seen the sky before, trying not to get trampled by all the cloud-heads at the camp. And Naruto was there when I woke up after…after becoming a Warden.” She clenches her fist at the memory here. “They saved my life. They lived the same betrayal in battle as I did. And neither of them has family left, either. I guess…I guess we sort of adopted each other.”

He frowns at this.

“And you’re part of it, too, you know,” she goes on, making him look up sharply. “We’d be your family, if you let us.”

There is an earnestness in her words, and he knows she is being truthful. She, and the others in their outfit, would accept him without question if he wanted it.

There is something in this moment which hangs, heavy and expectant. He finds that, inexplicably, a part of him wants to confront it.

Damned alcohol, he tells himself.

But gazing into Sakura’s earnest eyes, he knows that he is lying to himself.

And in that moment, Sasuke chooses to go another avenue.

Translations:

Fenedhis – a common curse word; literal translation is something like ‘wolf cock’, but used in this sense it’s similar to ‘fuck’ or ‘goddamn’

Sylvan – giant, walking trees which frequent forests near the elves

Comments and concrit are much appreciated, and very motivating! For information about supporting my original, non-fandom related works, you’re welcome to check out my ko-fi tip jar, or my patreon page. 

栗

It has been so long since he said those words out loud that they taste foreign on his tongue.

Surprise crosses Sakura’s face, along with curiosity, but she does not interrupt. It is as if she senses the precariousness of this truth, perhaps even the gravity in it, but will not push him to speak of it unless he wishes it. Sasuke intends to leave the matter alone, but the unexpected relief he experiences at his own confession is disorienting.

To deceive her, even through omission, feels wrong.

“I will find him and kill him.”

He can see she was not expecting this, but to her credit the only shock she displays is the infinitesimal widening of her eyes. He waits for judgement to replace curiosity, or even disgust, but the only change he detects is concern.

“Why?” she asks.

Sasuke takes a deep breath through his nose, willing his voice to stay even.

“He massacred my entire clan,” he explains. “Not only did he take them from me, he spilled elven blood. We are a rare and diminishing people. To cut short our lives, in particular amongst our own, is the greatest sin of our kind. He has to pay for it.”

“By…spilling more blood?”

Her question is uncertain, as if she is trying to understand the logic for this and seek something beyond simple, petty revenge. Most people would accept such a premise without question, but she is always so damned determined to see beyond the facades of her comrades.

He finds he does not want her to see him only as an avenger.

“Itachi is no longer considered Elvhen,” Sasuke says. “He is cursed. His continued existence poisons the world around it and everyone he comes in contact with. I have a duty to my family, and to my people, to avenge our loss and remove his stain. Only then can my clan be at peace in the Beyond.”

Sakura is quiet at this, thoughtful.

“If this is so important to you…why haven’t you asked us to look for him while we travel?” she asks delicatly. “If stopping him is as important as you say, nine pairs of eyes are better than only one?”

Sasuke’s jaw clenches, as she hits upon the conundrum he has been wrestling with for weeks. He could lie about it, pretend to be noble and that personal revenge does not matter in the face of the disaster she and her Wardens are trying to overcome. He knows she would pretend to believe it even if she did not.

But if there is anything he has learned in his life, it is that there is no way to overcome a weakness without acknowledging it.

“I am…not yet strong enough to kill him,” he admits grudgingly. “But in helping you end this Blight and facing this insurmountable task ahead of you, I can become strong enough.”

“I think killing a bunch of darkspawn and killing your own brother are two very different matters. One is much harder than the other.”

“Hm.”

He cannot argue with that.

“Did you…did you ever ask him why?” she ventures after a pause.

“No,” he replies, curt. “He used magic to trap me in an illusion for days, leaving me as prey for demons in the Fade. I was lucky another clan found me, and their Keeper freed me.”

Sakura swears. “No wonder you don’t like mages.”

He nods once, uncomfortable admitting such a vulnerability.

He does not wish to speak about this anymore. At the same time, he does not want to turn his back on her and return to silence, and so he asks instead, “Do you have any siblings?”

It is the first time he has outright asked her a personal question of his own volition and not to analyse something she has volunteered. She seems startled by this, and replies, “No…just my parents. Assuming they’re still alive.”

She speaks the last bit in a somewhat quieter tone, and her shoulders hunch a little in sadness.

Sasuke regrets his question. “You need not say more.”

“No, it’s…it’s nice to think about them,” she assures him. “I miss them, but they’re with me wherever I go. They’re the reason I’m still alive. My mother taught me the skills I needed to survive on my own, and my father taught me to fight.” She nods to her axe. “He taught me to be strong. And he was the strongest person I knew. He gave up everything to be with my mother. Even though she couldn’t give him a son and he lost his position in the caste…”

“There are few who would sacrifice their own comforts for such a reason,” Sasuke remarks.

“Yeah.” She smiles, wistful, and then shakes her head. A serious look comes into her eye. “If you don’t mind me asking…what were your parents like?”

The question is one which has caused him anger and defensiveness in the past, a quick dismissal and need to occupy himself with other things.

But this time, as he considers his answer, he comes to a horrible realisation.

“I do not remember,” he confesses, throat tight.

Sympathy suffuses her expression, before morphing into determination. She inches over to sit closer to him and reaches for his hand. For reasons he cannot explain, he does not pull away, but allows her to thread her fingers between his. Instead of empty words, she squeezes his hand; he grips it back and they do not speak anymore after that.

Several hours pass, before Sakura pulls away, murmuring about getting ready to leave again. Sasuke nods and gathers his gear. He toes Naruto awake as he passes, and at the other side of the cave, Kakashi relaxes, going from unnatural stone stillness to animated once more.

It is a quick matter to gather the rest of their things, and though Sasuke is not as rested as he could be, it is better than nothing. His muscles still ache, but it is bearable, and he knows he will not notice it once thy are outside again and facing the cold.

The trek back to the large, ornate door in the hallway is easier than before, with no cultists left to challenge their progression. Sakura fits the key into the lock, and after confirming that the others are ready to venture out, twists it into place.

Once again, ancient gears turn and iron hinges grind against the stone. The dimly lit hall is bathed in brilliant white light that makes Sasuke’s eyes water, as the snowy mountain top materialises before them once more. Far ahead, only an outline within the shroud of cloud-cover, he sees the final cavern. Though almost hidden by dark rocks and snowdrifts it is clear that is where they must go next.

And it is fucking snowing again.

The habitual trudge upward begins, and before long Sasuke’s toes pinch with cold and his clothes sag with heavy snow. He tells himself that it is just a little farther, and as long as they do not stop he can endure it—

His ear flicks as it senses an out-of-place sound. Beside him, Sakura notices him freeze, and comes to an abrupt halt. She raises one hand in warning, the other bracing against her forehead as if it will help her see better in the blowing snow.

Sasuke only catches it in time to snap, “Sakura!” when an axe flies out of the fog, forcing them all to dodge.

Before any of them recover, a dark shape materialises in its wake. A shout echoes across the swirling snow: “For Lady Kaguya!”

 “More cultists!” Sakura cries, hauling her axe up as the man in red robes swings a sword at her. She deflects with her head of her axe, and as he recovers, charges forward, using the axe and his forward motion to leverage him over her head. As he falls, Naruto brings his sword down to behead him.

Sakura slides forward, into the range of the next man coming after her, throwing him aside as well. One of Sasuke’s daggers pierces his neck, and when a third comes at her they lock axes before she headbutts him, knocking him back with her shield.

“More incoming!” she yells, shoving the blade of her axe into the face of another cultist.

“Already on it!”

Kakashi braces himself, hauls back his staff and a giant rock explodes from thin air, barrelling past his companions and into the line of oncoming cultists. Confused and unable to disengage from each other, they are shoved over the cliffside by the invisible force of Kakashi’s magic.

Sasuke darts forward with the rest of his companions as the snow clears, revealing a dreary, flat outcropping in the side of the mountain. Jagged rock structures jut out of the ice, offering paltry cover as fire explodes from above them.

“Another Void-damned mage,” Naruto complains, as more cultists approach. Sasuke shifts to peek around his stone shield, noting another red-robed lunatic with a staff.

“Sasuke?” Sakura’s voice is neither question nor command, but he nods.

With a growl, he darts forward, drawing daggers as he dives between two oncoming cultists. Before they can turn on him, he tucks into a roll, slicing the blades across their bellies as he goes. The scent of blood and viscera fill the frosted air as he keeps running, dropping the daggers and drawing his bow from his side. He continues his fleetfooted advance, shooting one cultist several feet away. As the woman staggers to the ground, Sasuke jumps and uses her body as a stepping stone to achieve lift. After flipping into the air, he lands on another stone outcropping that gives him the higher ground.

“Dirthara-ma,” he hisses as he draws his bow, aiming it upward before letting the arrow fly. It is one of the enchanted projectiles he found earlier, and it soars much farther than a regular shaft wood, ramming into the mage’s eye with a squelching thunk.

Sakura and Kakashi are back to back now, the mage using his staff as both a cudgel and a way to channel his magic. Bursts of flame and ice engulf the enemy at random intervals, while Sakura swings her axe out, cutting across unguarded limbs or lopping heads from shoulders.

Kakashi ducks one cultist that comes at him, hooks him around the neck with his elbow and then presses his hand to his head. A blistering, bloody symbol burns into his skin. The cultist screams in pain, cradling his face as he staggers towards his brethren, before going rigid. Before his comrades even know what has happened, he has exploded into a mess of blood and bone that rips through the other cultists.

“Okay, so I might be a little uncomfortable around mages now too,” Sakura jibes, twisting a remaining cultist’s head to one side until it cracks.

“That was disgusting,” Sasuke informs Kakashi.

“But effective,” the mage replies, brushing what appears to be bits of skull off his mask.

“Looks like that’s all of them,” Naruto calls out from several yards away. “I think we can—”

 An ear-splitting, piercing screech fills the air and a giant shadow darkens the painful brightness of the day. Something moves overhead, stopping the snow from falling on them as thunderous bursts of air echo around them.

The rush of impending heat is the only warning they get. The party scatters in time, skidding to all sides as a voluminous burst of flame expands across the space where they all just stood.

Up above, the dragon howls as though in victory as it swoops past, veering to one side as it turns to swoop back down at them. 

“You had to open your blighted mouth!” Sasuke growls at the human.

“It’s not my fault!” Naruto protests.

Translations:

Elvhen – elves; “our people”

Dirthara-ma – “may you learn”; used as a curse

Fade – a metaphysical realm separated by the waking world by the Veil; a place of spirits; most races except dwarves visit it in their dreams

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