"Come on, you look like you're in pain. Let me help."

She twitched and replaced herself a little more comfortably. Everything hurts. Eating hurts. Walking hurts. Talking hurts. Breathing hurts. Existing hurts. She was trying to lay down flat on her stomach, muscles so tense her claws were always unsheathed.

"I'm doing fine, little pal." She said through gritted teeth. Her first instinct would have been to swat them away. Give them a good scar on their nose so they know not to annoy her again.

Ghost, that little snitch. All because Frankie came across a cat from the Blinding on their patrol and asked to fight them. She easily overpowered this twiggy little cat, and it was a playful fight to test the level of the Blinding, which the apprentice did not understand.

So while Frankie and Ghost agreed to keep it a secret, Minha asked Ghost about Frankie's scar on her shoulder, and she couldn't lie to a medic. He then spoke to Oddie about it, who came to talk to her. What a pain.

"Alright, let me at least help with your wounds… Is your nose bleeding?"

No it isn't…

Oh, that's why she couldn't breathe well. She looked down at the stains she was leaving on the bar floor. It was a few droplets, she would be fine. probably.

"Let me have a look at you. You can't get better if—"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She batted their cheek with the back of their front paw.

They shook their head, as to replace their thoughts. Their eyes were wide like a mouse getting killed for a snack. They took a step back, ears flatted and fur puffed up. "What was that for? Come on, you're losing fur..."

"I don't care!" She snapped. "I don't care, shut up!"

She didn't know what's happening to her, but in this very moment, Oddie was the root of all of her problems. In this moment, she did not care about the Bar, or the Blinding. She didn't care that she was in pain or that the one she venerated won't come and speak to her again, abandoned like an unloved mutt. She didn't care that she was bleeding, or losing fur, or that she could hear her own heart beat, or that she was ill. She knows she's ill.

But right now, her only wish was to attack Oddie, and she did.

It was almost too easy. Fangs to the neck. The brown cat did fight back, claws digging into her sides. She didn't know what was his doing and what was her body screaming at her that something is very wrong, drowned out by their hissing and wheezing and choking and her will to sink her teeth and claws into the medic until they weren't breathing anymore.

WHACK! A white boulder slammed into her side, making her lose balance and tumble with it, stopped by a pile of rubble. A voice yelled "Keep Oddie alive!" along other orders as she was pinned down, some of Oddie's long, dusty brown fur in her teeth.

Shit. Minha's scouting patrol had to arrive now. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't overpower four cats on her own. But she did try, hitting without looking where she was swatting her paws and biting and yowling.

Yet she was no match for them.

She found herself closed in a plastic and wire crate, or cage, and Minha told his kittens to wait outside for Featherpaw and Mangopaw.

The white Medic batted his paw on Oddie's face and cheek. No response.

He had to act quickly, and as he did, he kept an ear out for his kittens, hearing them speak in panicked, hushed tones about the situation.

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A bright light shone through their eyelids, prompting them to shuffle around and check out it's source.

"Bartender!" They jumped to their paws and rushed towards the cat of stardust, only for them to pass through her, as if she was only an illusion.

She purred, an echo rang through the world, light as a soft rain.

Oddie looked around. This wasn't where they were used to seeing the Bartender. Where are the plants? The sea? The platforms and structures? Instead, they were in shallow water, ink black, which reflected the ocean of stars shining above them. They couldn't tell where this starry dome started or where the water ended.

"Hello, Oddie."

"Where am I?" They asked, neck stretched to admire Silverpelt, which they haven't been able to admire since settling in the bar. "Am I dead? If I am, where's the rest of my Clan?"

"I don't know. You are not dead. You are, however, dying. A brave soul in the bar is helping you stay alive."

She replied, her voice ethereal as if StarClan itself sung a chorus in harmony with her meows.

Oddie wondered who that could be.

"However, I do not know if he will be able to bring you back."

They took a deep breath, ready to accept their own mortality, before the Bartender spoke again.

"I have an offer for you."

"Which is?"

"I am aware that Nomad Clan Leaders have more than one life. I know how they are bestowed. I could offer up a part of my power to bring you back and give you a new life. But that would mean that I would not be able to show up in the bar anymore. We will only be able to meet in dreams and in death. Trying to possess you was exhausting and uncomfortable, I apologize and I won't do it again."

Oddie said nothing, eyes fixated on their paws disappearing under the surface.

"Why me…? I don't deserve all of this, Bartender. My Clan deserved this second chance. Frankie deserves this second chance."

"She does. But I cannot help her now. I will have to apologize when she comes through here. I know it's almost over, for her. Poor Lady… I miss her too."

The Bartender's starry fur seemed to deflate when her shoulders slumped.

"Nobody deserves what that ailment is. I cannot help your Clan. I cannot help Frankie, not anymore. But I can help you. And you can start over, turn my abandoned home into something good. You can be the Leader you looked up to in your Clan. You can do a lot of good."

"I can… but I'm tired, Bartender." They sighed. "I'm tired of fighting."

"And that's why you shouldn't do it alone, and you won't. Even if you don't trust those who you didn't raise, think of Mangopaw and Featherpaw. You three can support each-other."

Mangopaw and Featherpaw.

And Minha.

And his kittens.

And Frankie when she was here.

Oddie has to do better. They have to have a better life than what they have lived through.

"I won't be comfortable being called 'Oddstar'."

"You don't have to."

The Bartender stepped closer, her pawsteps leaving no ripples on the mirror-like water surface.

Oddie was stiff, closing their eyes as the brightness of the Bartender's pelt blinded them. They felt heat on their forehead, prickling like warm sand.

"With my life, I give you Compassion. Always choose kindness no matter what you do, as you will never meet someone who was not marked by the hardships of life.

A newfound energy blossomed in Oddie's soul. They had the same heart as a kit, wanting to do everything in and for their Clan. They were so ready to live, and after surviving for so long, they were ready to make up for the lost time.

A tear rolled down their fluffy cheek. They felt alive again. Their soul was set ablaze. They had to live for those who didn't.

"Now go. Minha's doing all he can to revive you. Don't make him wait more. Your body can take it."

"Thank you, Bartender."

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Oddie didn't stand up, their head placed comfortably on their front paws. They debated talking about it. They don't know what happened and why they were paralyzed and why they saw that. But they can't be the only one with this knowledge in case it happens to someone else. "Do… Do you know what StarClan is?"

"Mangopaw and Featherpaw talk about it. It's your theory for the afterlife, right?"

Theory? Oddie wanted to protest, but they couldn't. The Stars have never spoken to them, but everyone else in camp seemed so sure of themselves when they said that StarClan guides them. A light did guide them, but it wasn't the stars. It was the reflection of twoleg-made lights, their power over the dark of the night.

Even as a healer, they never spoke to StarClan. Is it because they can't see Silverpelt in the city? Is it because the Stars cover their eyes when they look down at the situation of their former Clan? Is it because they are not a legitimate leader or healer in their eyes? When have StarClan ever done something for them?

The only one who ever did something for them was the Bartender, and she swears that she is not dead or from StarClan.

"Yeah," they nodded, finally replying to Minha's question. "Does StarClan speak to loners and kittypets if they are healers?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

"I think I… I don't know. I don't think it was a vision like the healer of my former Clan used to have. Or at least I think they used to have them. The Bartender was in my head for a while. I started seeing things. She spoke to me."

"What did she say?"

Oddie told every minute detail of their vision. Every word, every image, every bright color, every reaction of the Bartender. Minha listened attentively. They didn't think he believed everything, but he was trying in good faith to udnerstand what it could mean.

"Why would she talk about protection? What would cause a disturbance?"

"I don't know. I'm guessing anything that is about the realm of the dead? She says she's not dead, but I'm intimately convinced that she is a spirit."

"That's my conclusion as well. But if the disturbance is because of the dead, how would it impact her? What would cause enough death to cause a disturbance in the afterlife?"

"I don't know. She also did not know what was going on. Maybe her powers weakened or—" Oddie jumped to their paws, facing Minha with wide eyes.

A moment of silence hung between them, making their ears ring.

"Do you think the disturbance could be the ailment? Could she be gone because someone is sick?"

Minha wanted to protest, but he had no counter-argument. The realization that they might have one or more infected cats within their ranks crept up on them like insects in their flesh.

"I'm never going to escape it, will I?"

Minha looked down. "We have to live with it."

Oddie curled up, a wave of confused emotions washed over them. Minha drew closer, wrapping their fluffy tail around their co-healer and licking their forehead. "I doubt I can do much, but I will help."

"Thank you."

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The cat nodded absently, mulling over her offer, but ultimately agreeing. "Okay. Around our sanctuary, we had humans dressed in white carrying boards with other sleeping humans on them. They brought them to large square, noisy cars and drove away. I don't think this is linked to the plague that infected most animals, but we should still stay vigilant."

Plague? Why is he talking about a plague? Frankie had to stop herself from baring her teeth. Was it like the weird cat she and Oddie saw in the tunnels? It's just an ailment, not a widespread plague, is it? That cat didn't even tell her where he's from!

"The Coven has also left their last hideout and the Bone Society seems less present than it was before."

No information on the Blinding?

Frankie wanted to turn back and walk away. The one thing she was interested in was not a priority for this cat, so her information would not be shared. But the voice of one sandy-colored apprentice rang behind her.

"We haven't seen much, but we can tell you that there's a wild mutt roaming the streets, here. I think it doesn't belong to some twolegs. Aside from that, nothing out of the ordinary."

"Twolegs you say… You're a Nomad?"

"I was a former Clan kit, yes. My name is Featherpaw."

The cat stared at the sky, as if asking for guidance by some celestial power, or just thinking over the information given. With a blink, they turned away. Their last words were a simple "thank you, see you soon".

That's it? No discussion? No fight? Frankie shivered in frustration, turning away from the cat's location and leading the apprentices away. She does have information to bring back, but if she doesn't find something more tangible than words on her scouting patrol, this outing would have been a waste of time.

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"What if someone sees us? The rule has no loophole. We're not allowed out without Oddie or Minha or Frankie or the Bartender saying it's okay."

"We'll be fiiine," her sandy brother chirped. "We'll go find food and they will all be impressed when we bring back a mountain of rats."

"Can you even catch a rat?"

"Watch me."

"Can you even find a rat?"

"That's the hard part," his shoulders slumped. There were a lot of animals in the streets, especially in this part of the twoleg camp. He's good enough when he needs to catch something, but finding food? No matter why the adults bring home shiny boxes instead of fresh meat. "We should also stay close. I know Oddie talked about other groups of cats around. I don't want 'the Bone Group' or whatever their name is to annoy us."

"They can try!" Mangopaw unsheathed her claws. "I'll show them who's the boss!"

"Perfect. You show outsiders who's the boss and I'll show the cats here who's…"

"Shut up!" Mangopaw hissed, blocking Featherpaw's snout with her paws. She forced him to crouch down, looking at the entrance. Her eyes were fixated on a white and silver cat exiting the Bar.

Minha. The new healer.

The siblings exchanged a look. What was he doing outside so late? Frankie was the one who usually went hunting at night.

"Should we follow him?" Featherpaw whispered, and Mangopaw agreed.

Minha is a quick cat. Very agile when it comes to jumping and climbing. He's a cat that is used to this terrain. He's a cat that knows every nook and cranny of the twoleg camp. But that means nothing to Featherpaw and his sister. He's determined to follow the new healer. His paws silently tapped on tin roofs, eyes on their campmate. He won't let him get away. He won't let him slip away like Frankie does. He won't—

CRASH!

Featherpaw hissed as he missed his step, tumbling over metallic bins twolegs use to drop their waste in. The noise it made was deafening, his shoulder hurt, but not as much as his pride.

Minha jumped and turned around, fur puffed up like a white and silver boulder. He relaxed when he saw one apprentice on the roof, and another apprentice clambering out of the trash pile like a raccoon.

"What are you two doing here?" He asked, his voice low and stern as if he was lecturing his kits. "You should be sleeping at home."

"What are you doing here?" Featherpaw protested. "You should also be sleeping at home! Frankie already left on patrol."

"Go back home. Where I'm going is dangerous."

"And tell Oddie that you were outside?" Mangopaw's ear twitched. "They won't be happy to hear that we were out, but they won't be happy to hear that you were too."

All six eyes stared at each other, Minha's dark blue against stormy gray or bright gold. He cleared his throat. "What are you doing outside? Just following me?"

"At first we wanted to practice hunting, but then we saw you sneak out and we wondered where you were going." Featherpaw confirmed.

Mangopaw looked at her brother with a stare that would plant the fear of StarClan into some poor cat's soul, but she couldn't deny that he was saying the truth.

"And you?" She meowed.

"I thought it was weird that Frankie was sneaking out every night. I wanted to follow her and see where she was going." Minha confessed.

"So you mean that adults don't know where she's going!?" Featherpaw protested.

"No, we don't. But sometimes she comes back with food so Oddie lets her do as she pleases. We all have our secrets, of course, but…" He left his sentence unfinished. "Listen, we can either both tell Oddie what we were doing outside, or we swear to not say a word. I never saw you outside, you never saw me outside."

Mangopaw faced her brother once again. "What do you think?"

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She was supposed to teach Featherkit how to scavenge, but she gave him the afternoon off. She had something more important to do, and she worried that he might get hurt if he followed her through the territories, close to the main camp of the Blinding, and down to Ash's home.

"Hey…" She hung her head low. Every muscle in her body was tense. She needs to explore more places. She needs to feel the rush of a fight again. Has it always been this hot? Has her head and stomach always hurt this much? She can't remember. "Ash, are you there?"

The old brown cat popped out from behind the counter, sliding between human legs and meeting up with her outside. "What's wrong, Frankie? You look terrible."

"I need your insight. What are those cats?"

"Who? What do you mean? Are you hurt?"

Yes. She is. But it's nothing she can't fix with a walk and some rest. She likes it. She likes being sore after a fight. She likes the anticipation of the first blow. It took her so long to realize that instead of running from conflict, running from her former house, running from the mutt that took her place, running from rogues, running from her issues, she should face it head on. It's much more enjoyable.

But this is not why she's here.

"I'm not hurt. I have two questions for you."

They settled down on a sunny, whirring box. Ash told her once that when it stopped whirring, the temperatures rise in their home, where humans get their food. He doesn't mind it but humans hate it.

"I'm listening. I don't know if I will be able to answer, but I'll do what I can."

Frankie was still twitchy, unable to relax. "Oddie and I explored around and we found a… weird cat. It was talking about rot and souls and had a raspy voice and empty eyes and—"

"The Coven," Ash stopped her. "You met a cat from the Coven, but from the looks of it, they were already too far gone."

"What are they?"

"I know I shouldn't judge but… They're lunatics who worship 'the Rot', so death and decay, and by extension mushrooms and the Madness that overcomes certain animals. If I recall correctly."

She slowly nodded, processing that information.

"I don't know if that helps but…"

"It does, thank you."

"What's your second question?"

Frankie folded her paws neatly, trying to appear more serious. "If you join the Blinding, is it permanent?"

"But it's like any group, you have an oath of allegiance to uphold…" His eyes wandered to the twoleg nest, eerily quiet in the day and deafening in the night. "Why?"

She kept quiet.

"Don't tell me you want to join the Blinding?"

"I made a promise to the Bartender, but I don't know where she is. I fear that she may have abandoned the Bar, our sanctuary. She abandoned me. She abandoned us."

Ah. Yes. The Bartender. The spirit Frankie is certain she can see. Ash is certain that it's just a hallucination, but if she can see it, then it's true to her.

"She'll come back."

"I don't know…" She rested her head on the box, tail swishing in annoyance. "I don't see why I should stay. I want to fight. All day long. You told me that it's what the Blinding do."

"The Blinding are a lawless lot who do not care about the weak and worship the body and phsyical prowess and go to great lengths to become stronger. Their hobby is beating up each-other. I don't think that's fun… They take in a lot of outsiders, but the competition for access to basic survival needs is rough."

"How do you know all of that?"

"They're my rowdy neighbors…" Ash sighed. "I'd rather deal with the Bone Society. They're a danger to everyone, but they are quiet."

"I don't know…"

"If you don't want to stay at the Bar, as I said, my human likes you. We can find a way to take you in."

For once, she didn't say no, but "I want to say good-bye to the Bartender before leaving. If by the time the young ones are adults I didn't see her, I'll leave and figure out what I do."

Ash nodded. "Sounds like a plan. I hope I will be there to see it."

"You? Yeah, you're a spring chicken," Frankie purred. "Can I try to rest here, for a while?"

"Of course. Let's take a nap."

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"I was a housecat. I think I heard that Clans call us 'kittypets'," she explained through a clenched jaw, uncomfortably shifting.

"Did you like it?"

Mangopaw saw thoughts race behind Frankie's pale brown eyes. Thought, uncertainty, hurt, comfort, anger, hate. She understood that the question was harder to answer than a simple yes or no. Things are always more complicated than that. At least, that's what most adults say, in the bar. She'll understand when she's older.

"I don't know," was the old warrior's reply. "I don't want to lie to you, Mangopaw. I don't know. I think I liked my humans at first. At first, only. I know I didn't like their mangy beast they called a 'dog' at least. Sometimes I think back and think that it wasn't that bad, but it was bad enough to run away."

"Okay…" The apprentice stiffened, lowering her head onto her front paws. She couldn't imagine growing up and living in a place so hostile to her. With so much sadness and pain. Her people were always happy and proud, even in the worst of times.

"What about you, little friend?"

"Featherpaw and I are from the Clans," she smiled, proud of her origins. "I'm glad Oddie understands and can keep teaching us about what we will never know about our life and customs."

"They told me about life in their former Clan. But only a little. They don't like talking about it too much."

Mangopaw's ear twitched. Oddie never had issues talking to her and her brother about their Clan and what happened to it.

"I looked up to the warriors in my Clan. I still want to be one. I want to show them who's the best. Groups of Warriors would go on missions and come back battle-scarred but with quantities of food you would never find in the wastelands. I wanted to be part of those."

"Oddie said they found you. Is that true?"

"Yeah, we were taken by twolegs who found us with others from our Clan. They took the others away, I don't know where. We were the only cats in the roaring monster. I don't know how Oddie found us, but they saved us and brought us back here."

Frankie nodded. "We'll try to find them. Some might be in the city."

"The city?"

"This… How does Oddie call this again… This 'massive twoleg camp'. It's called a city."

Mangopaw let herself process that information. There is so much to learn here, about twolegs, about the cats, about everything.

"Your friends will be training too, soon. I think. Aren't they soon six months old?"

"It's pronounced 'moon'. But I think so. Ghostkit is getting better at not being startled."

"Let's not scare them away from growing up."

"She thinks she's all that and the 'defender of darkness'. I just prepare her to fight that darkness. She can't be the best fighter of otherworld shadows if she is scared by every little sound. She has gotten better at it."

"Do you think these 'otherword shadows' exist?"

"I believe in the Place of No Stars," Mangopaw genuinely replied. "Oddie's Clan also called it 'The Dark Forest'. I know what a forest is, but I've never seen one before. It sounds more dangerous than the wastelands. The trees hide the stars and anything in the low bushes."

"I don't know. I've never seen a forest either." Frankie admitted. "What sorts of threats did your Clan have to face in the wastelands? How did you fight?"

Mangopaw was about to answer, but she closed her snout. Oddie does tell her and Featherpaw to trust others in their 'new Clan' and share information that could be useful to everyone. But is this really the best thing to do? She can't be a powerful warrior if she keeps sharing all her tools of the trade. She trusts Frankie, but she also wants to be the best and protect the secrets and techniques of her former life.

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"I think Frankie will come with me," they eventually replied to the restless little tortie.

"Whyyy?" She flopped over Oddie's tail.

"She's a great fighter. If I'm in danger, she'll be able to defend herself."

Their memory flashed back to the dead dog they saw, with its deep scars and puddle of blood and glassy lifeless eyes. They still can't believe that this was Frankie's doing. If she could do that to a dog, she could do that to a cat, or anything else they will find in the tunnels.

"But I'm a great fighter too!"

"Mangokit, what did I say?"

She slumped over, a frown on her snout. "Okay, fine. I'll stay here."

"Thank you," Oddie licked her ear. "Now go play with your brother and the triplets, I need to finish packing."

"Will you come play with us, after?"

"I promise. As soon as I'm done."

They wouldn't take too long to gather up items and stuff them in a pouch. They know that planning the expedition and the trip itself will be the hard part.

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