#dummyboy

very much fantasizing about fighting that girl even though my heart wants nothing more than to believe there never has been and never will be anything between them lol but it’s fun to picture being in an altercation with her idk why

wanna kms so bad again but like not entirely… just having the worst day and probably gonna get my period soon so i’ll just blame it on that but i have the strongestttt urges i’ve had in a while to do very harmful things and i don’t wanna blame this one thing that happened today bc that would be a stupid gross overreaction but boy oh boy is my heart hurting rn and idk where to turn to make it feel better like wallowing in the festering feeling of self-loathing and doubt and hopelessness and worthlessness is so comforting 😍 im gonna lay in bed all day and fantasize about death and dyinggg muah 💋 xoxo

This guy who is suing the Is psychic is the big #dummyboy of the day #🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #increaseproductivity (at California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVL3-OEBT0i/?utm_medium=tumblr

let me just go ahead and make the post before i forget, i’m kinda too ashamed and stupid to talk about it openly and honestly and in-depth right now bc at the moment even the thought of going back and reading this makes me feel secondhand embarrassment for my past/present self and also just the idea of feeling so strongly and having it amount to nothing is unbearable and even though i tell aubrey all the time that it’s not possible for all this to not mean anything it’s very hard to believe that everything happens for a reason that’s all designed to make your life what it’s destined to be or something along those lines. i know doubt and skepticism and nihilism are all very detrimental to my mental health and are some of the highest factors in causing me to feel like unaliving myself but i do acknowledge that doubt as it occurs even though i know it always makes me spiral into wanting death hmm idek where i was going with this goodnight