#dukeceitweek2021

No matter how many times Patton said it was an accident, that he hadn’t meant to, and even Janus’ own lie-detecting abilities told him that was the truth, he would never forgive him. Romulus had been the only one who’d understood, who’d pushed boundaries, hadn’t been afraid to speak his mind. Hadn’t been restricted by morals as Patton was.

And look where that got him.

Of course, there were others who didn’t like Patton’s insistence on moral perfection, particularly Anxiety. But Anxiety was… well, anxious – too anxious to openly defy Patton, at least at the moment. Janus still had a friend, but his partner in crime was gone.

As the door to his quarters opened, he held his breath, hoping in vain that he’d see a head of spiky hair topped with a golden crown poke through at any moment. The set of rooms he’d created weren’t really his quarters, he supposed; the living room he’d put outside his bedroom was frequented by any Side who needed a break from the strict rules in the general common room, and during mealtimes in the little kitchen-diner he would often be entertaining more than one other Side.

Anxiety spent a lot of time in the living room, usually hunched up on Janus’ couch, so it was a surprise to see him walk briskly through the door, hiding a smile.

“What’s got you so happy?” Janus leaned over the arm of his chair, crossing his legs behind him.

Anxiety giggled, hugging his elbows, though the gesture seemed to be more to do with nervous delight than fear as it often was. “I, um… I met the new Creativity. Well, one of them. He’s very charming, and handsome…” Anxiety sighed softly, fringe flopping in front of his eyes.

Janus’ lips curled into a snarl. “Traitor,” he spat as he stood up from his chair. “I can’t believe you! After what happened to Romulus, you’re fawning over that new- fake Creativity!”

“Wait, Dee. I didn’t mean-”

“Just forget it,” Janus snapped, pushing past Anxiety to leave the room. “I don’t want to speak to you.”

He started running as soon as Anxiety was out of sight, not knowing where he was heading, just knowing he had to get away. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised when he ended up in the Imagination. This was Romulus’ domain, and though Janus hadn’t dared to set foot inside since Romulus’ downfall, it felt comforting to be back.

His feet thudded against the ground until he didn’t have the breath to run any further, and he collapsed against the trunk of a tree. Curling into a ball between two of the large roots, he let the tears out. He didn’t know how long he sobbed, only that he was thoroughly exhausted by the time he managed to stop.

Breathing still a little shaky, face still wet with tears, he leaned back against the tree and looked up at the sky.

Only for a boy to drop down from a branch directly in front of him. “Hi!”

Janus yelped in surprise. He hadn’t seen the boy before – this must be one of the Imagination’s characters. Romulus had created a lot of characters over the years, but sometimes they’d just… appear without explanation. He’d explained to Janus once that while most of the other Sides assumed he was completely in control of the Imagination, as Creativity he only had a little input into what it could create – still far more than the rest of the Sides, but most of what the Imagination did was completely out of his control.

“I’m Remus,” the boy said, giggling as Janus recovered from his startled state, but his smile dropped as he looked down at him. “You look sad. What’s up?”

“I’m not sad,” Janus grumbled. A myth echoed in the back of his head, one about twin boys pitted against each other, but he couldn’t quite place the name.

“Tell me, I can help,” Remus said as he sat beside Janus. He seemed earnest, his eyes filled with sincerity – he was a strange sort of character, right down to his outfit of a black tunic, and a sash made of leaves.

“I just… I lost something,” Janus murmured, barely able to bring his voice above a whisper without letting more tears fall. “Something very important to me.”

“Maybe I can help you get it back,” Remus offered.

Janus looked at the ground, a familiar pit of emptiness welling in his stomach. It had been getting bigger since the day he’d found out what happened to Romulus, and he worried that someday the bleakness might swallow him whole. “This isn’t something I can get back.”

They sat in silence for a moment, with only the rustling of wind through the trees around them, but Janus could practically hear Remus thinking.

“Sounds like you need a distraction!” Remus decided, jumping to his feet. “I know! We’ll go on a quest!”

“A quest?” Janus asked incredulously, though he was a little intrigued. Quests weren’t usually his kind of thing, and it must have been years since he’d been on one, but perhaps he could use a distraction. He slowly got to his feet, and Remus immediately grabbed his hand to drag him along. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know,” Remus admitted cheerily. “But I’m Creativity, so I’ll think of something!”

Janus froze, his thoughts coming to a screeching halt. Creativity. This was Creativity. The myth – Romulus and Remus. This was one of the impostors who had replaced his friend.

“Is something wrong?” The false Creativity asked, and in the sparkle of his eyes, the arch of his brows, his wild and messy hair, Janus could almost catch a glimpse of his friend.  

“Get away from me!” Janus shrieked, wrenching his hand free of Remus’ grip. Before Remus could react, he ran out of the Imagination as fast as he could.

 -----

 “Wasn’t Janus the Roman god of doorways?”

Janus rolled his eyes. While Anxiety wasn’t technically wrong, his incredulous tone led Janus to believe that his friend didn’t quite have all the information. “Among other things. More significantly, he was the god of beginnings, endings, and duality.” He waved a hand in front of his face, to indicate the slitted snakelike pupil which had appeared a little over a year ago, and his normal brown eye.

Anxiety nodded. “Okay, that makes sense. It’s a cool name, I like it.”

Janus smiled, tugging at his scarf. He’d taken to wearing scarves a lot recently, to hide the scales which had begun to creep up his neck.

“I’m Virgil,” Anxiety blurted, hands clasped so tightly in his lap that his knuckles turned white. He glanced briefly at Janus, but looked back down at the floor quickly.

Janus could understand the nerves. Though he’d grown up with all the Sides, and had chosen his name years ago, only one person had ever known it until now. “A good choice,” he remarked, reaching to cover Virgil’s hands with one of his own. “After the poet, right? From Dante’s Inferno?”

Virgil nodded, slowly unfurling his fists under Janus’ fingers. “Yeah. Also, there’s nothing confirming this, but it might mean like… vigilant. Which is kind of what I have to be.”

Janus squeezed Virgil’s hands before pulling away. “And you do it well,” he said softly, noting the slight blush that rose on Virgil’s cheeks. “But remember, if it ever gets too much…”

“I know,” Virgil said, his lips quirking into a smile. “You’re the self-care guy.”

“That I am.” Janus confirmed. “Speaking of self-care, I think these name reveals call for a celebration. I’ll make a cake!”

“Do we even have the ingredients for that?” Virgil asked.

Janus paused. They didn’t have a lot of ingredients in the Dark Side of the Mindscape. While all of the Sides could summon basic foods – bread, fruit, rice and the like – only Creativity could create anything more than dietary staples. Since the Split, Janus, Anxiety and the others had grown further apart from the self-proclaimed Light Sides, and Janus didn’t have a Creativity on his side to provide anything. “Hm… you’re right. We don’t have the ingredients.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Janus, you’re not going to steal from the Light Sides-”

“That’s exactly what you’ll tell people when they ask,” Janus interrupted, already moving towards the door.

“What if you get caught?”

“You’ll just have to trust that I won’t,” Janus said, turning back to brush his fingers against Virgil’s cheek. “Do you trust me, Virgil dear?”

Virgil stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted. That expression was becoming familiar to Janus, though he tried to ignore what it might mean. “Of course I do, but-”

“Then I’ll be right back.” Janus tapped the end of his nose and flounced out of the room before Virgil could recover the presence of mind to follow him.

Janus smiled softly to himself as he snuck down the corridor. He’d become a lot closer with Virgil over the past few years. And he’d come to notice that Virgil was… cute. Yes, cute was a good word. Cute could be platonic, could let him easily brush off any other feelings that he associated with Virgil.

His daydreaming was interrupted by a thud behind him, and he whirled around to see Remus. Janus wasn’t sure where he could have fallen from – perhaps he’d been clinging to the ceiling, or had simply appeared several feet above the ground.

“What are you doing here?” Janus asked tiredly. He was half used to this Creativity trailing after him by now, but it was still annoying.

“I think the more poignant question, Deceit Dastardly, is what are you doing here?” Remus asked, scrambling to keep up as Janus pointedly strode away from him. “Sneaking around the corridors, heading towards…” He gasped in faux shock. “The Light Side of the Mindscape! Ooh, looks like you’re going to do something naughty.”

“What I’m doing is none of your business,” Janus snapped, speeding up his pace.

Remus hummed in consideration as he skipped along beside Janus. “You’re probably right. But you see, I want to know. And I’m not gonna leave you alone until you tell me.”

Janus groaned, pulling at the ends of his scarf. “Why are you following me?”

“Because I like you,” Remus shrugged.

Janus’ brisk steps faltered – he certainly hadn’t been expecting that answer.

“You’re interesting,” Remus continued, not seeming to notice Janus’ stumble at all. “The Light Sides are so boring, especially my brother – over there it’s only the cutesy, fluffy kind of creativity. And they don’t want me around, anyway.” His expression fell a little, and he let out a sigh. “I know you don’t either, nobody does, but at least you’re cool to hang out with.”

Janus stopped walking. He hadn’t considered it before, but Remus didn’t have anyone at all. The Split had created Patton’s ideal Creativity, pushing away all the parts he didn’t like… and creating Remus. He was the biproduct of an event which was supposed to destroy him completely. Of course the Light Sides couldn’t stand him, Virgil was too scared of his brashness, and Janus…

Janus could talk to him. He understood what it was like to be shoved aside because he was deemed imperfect, but he couldn’t imagine how bad Remus had it, when his whole existence came from being an imperfection in Patton’s eyes. And Remus had been all alone since he was created, since Janus ran away from him that first time they met.

It might hurt to look into the face of someone who reminded him of the loss of his best friend, but Janus could give Remus a chance.

“If you must know, I’m performing a heist,” Janus said, smiling slightly at the way Remus’ eyes lit up.

“A heist? I can help!” Remus jumped in the air, then he turned to Janus with his hands spread. "Okay so, first we’ll cut a hole in the ceiling and lower you down with rope – ooh, would that work with intestines? They’d probably have to be big strong ones, like elephant intestines. Hey, what do you think elephant intestines look like? The same as human ones or…” Remus rambled on, the heist itself seemingly forgotten in favour of wondering about the biology of various animals.

Okay, maybe he was a little endearing, with his curious grin and excited hand gestures. That only made the pit of guilt in Janus’ stomach more intense – he’d shunned someone who was so innocently curious for years, for something that was in no way his fault.

Although listening to Remus’ stream of chatter was entertaining, Janus held up a hand as they neared the kitchen – the Light Sides would no doubt be nearby, and making too much noise would be sure to get them caught.

Remus glanced at the kitchen door, seeming briefly surprised at where they were, and complied, miming zipping his lips and throwing away the key.

Despite this, he seemed to have no concern for how much noise the rest of his actions made. Remus threw open the kitchen door – thankfully, nobody was inside – and immediately began rustling through the cupboards.

“Do you need this?” He asked, holding up a bottle of soy sauce.

Janus chuckled, taking the bottle from Remus’ hand and placing it back where he’d found it. “To make a cake? Surprisingly not.”

Janus glanced into the cupboard, but he didn’t see much that could be useful for baking – it mostly seemed to contain spices. This side of the Mindscape had clearly been refurbished since he’d last been allowed here, and he had no idea where anything was stored.

“Ooh, they have a coffee machine!” Remus remarked, far too loudly for Janus’ liking, and he could hear buttons randomly being pressed. “Do you think it works on anything other than coffee? We should test that!”

While Janus opened a few more cupboards to no avail, Remus began clattering through the ones he’d already checked. Janus decided that while Remus was certainly fun to be around, it would be unwise to invite him on any more covert missions.

After several minutes of sifting through haphazardly arranged supplies – Patton must have been the one to arrange the kitchen, as Logan would never leave anything so untidy – Janus stumbled upon a bag of sugar. He reached to take it when he heard footsteps, quickly approaching, from the corridor.

Whirling around, he sent a panicked glance towards Remus. “What do we do?”

As the door handle began to turn, Remus grabbed his wrist, and Janus felt his stomach swoop as the two of them sunk out.

They appeared in an empty corridor, and Janus leant against the wall with a huff, mentally chastising himself for forgetting he could do something as simple as sinking out and had needed Remus to help him. He was not a damsel in distress, no matter how many times Romulus had made him play that role on their adventures. “How am I going to make that cake now?” he sighed.

Remus perked up immediately. “I can summon it for you!”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“I’m Creativity, of course I can!”

Janus abruptly felt like he’d been stabbed in the gut. Because while two Sides had upheld the role of Creativity for a good three years now, he’d never thought of it as anything other than Romulus’ job.

But he pushed the pain down, reminding himself that this wasn’t Remus’ fault and he didn’t deserve for Janus to take it out on him.

“What kind of cake do you want?” Remus asked, already waving his hands in an approximation of a summoning motion. “You could do something boring like a sponge cake I guess, but I could always add a fun twist! What about using an actual sponge and-”

“I’d like to make the cake myself,” Janus butted in quickly. He could already tell that none of Remus’ suggestions would be the least bit appetising. “Could you just summon the ingredients?”

“Sure thing!” Remus agreed, and he summoned each ingredient surprisingly obediently as Janus listed them off.

When he had a pile of ingredients for a red velvet cake in his arms, he smiled graciously. “Thank you, Remus. This is very helpful.”

“You’re welcome!” Remus grinned, but as Janus started down the corridor back toward the Dark Side, he didn’t follow.

Janus turned to him, perplexed. “Aren’t you coming?”

Remus looked equally befuddled, tilting his head to one side. “Do you need more ingredients?”

Janus shook his head, something sad twisting in his stomach at the thought that Remus hadn’t even considered he might be invited to try the cake he’d summoned the ingredients for. “Remus, would you like to join us for some cake?”

Remus’ eyes lit up, and he leapt in the air, continuing to bounce on the balls of his feet as he landed. “I’d love to!”

 -----

 “We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas last week!” Remus whined, flopping back onto the sofa.

“Well, it’s my favourite film, and I want to watch it again,” Virgil shot back.

Janus rolled his eyes at the two of them. Ever since he’d let Remus hang out with them more often, he and Virgil exchanged sniping banter at every opportunity. He nuzzled into Virgil’s neck, curling his arms tighter around his shoulders. They’d been dating for several months now – Remus had convinced Janus to confess his feelings to Virgil, and Janus had needed a lot of convincing, but he was more than glad Remus had intervened. “Darling, we do watch that a lot. Maybe it would be good to try something different.”

He could feel Virgil wavering; that nickname always worked on him. “Fine. But Janus gets to choose,” Virgil said with a pointed look at Remus. Janus almost couldn’t blame him – Remus certainly had an interesting taste in films, and while Virgil liked horror, most of Remus’ choices left him unable to sleep with the light off for several days.

Janus leaned forward to look through the pile of DVDs. He could ask Remus to summon any he wanted – providing Thomas had seen them before – but he already owned all of his favourites. Only skimming the top of the messy heap, since he didn’t feel like uncoiling himself from Virgil to look through properly, he spotted The Addams Family Values. “Re, could you put Addams Family on?”

“Oh yeah!” Remus enthused, leaping to grab the DVD immediately. “I need to rewatch this, I’ve been meaning to replicate some of the scenes!”

Virgil tensed in Janus’ arms, and Janus carded a hand through his hair. Though Remus had asked Virgil several times to help him with his experiments, it was clear that Virgil wanted no part in anything as dangerous as the things Remus found interesting.

As the theme tune started up, Janus glanced over at the coffee table, and waved a hand to pause the TV. “I left the popcorn in the kitchen,” he remembered.

“I’ll get it!” Remus jumped up before he had chance to move, which Janus was grateful for. He was slightly less thrilled by the excited expression on Remus’ face.

“Don’t add anything to it!” Janus called after him, prompting a disappointed groan to emerge from the kitchen.

Virgil snuggled against Janus’ shoulder, taking a quick glance to make sure Remus was out of the room. “Does he have to be here?”

Janus settled himself to sit up a little straighter. This might turn into something of a serious discussion. “Do you not want him here?” he murmured into Virgil’s hair.

Virgil shrugged, the movement nudging Janus’ arm. “I don’t know. It’s just, some of the things he talks about… and I keep thinking, he’s the product of everything Patton didn’t think was acceptable, so maybe…” He trailed off with a noncommittal noise, his voice small.

“Patton thinks we’re unacceptable,” Janus reminded him. He tried not to sound too cold – Virgil’s fears were nothing Janus hadn’t considered before. “His opinion isn’t the be all and end all of morality – much as he likes to think it is.”

“I know,” Virgil murmured. “I just sometimes worry… what if he’s right? About everything, about me…”

Janus tightened his hold on Virgil, pressing a lingering kiss to his forehead. “Sweetheart, don’t talk about yourself like that. There’s nothing wrong with you. Or with me, or Remus, or anyone in the Mindscape. We’re just… a little different. And that’s a good thing. If we all behaved like the goody-goody Light Sides, we’d never get anything done.”

Virgil chuckled, though it was a little choked. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Janus smiled, brushing a hand over Virgil’s fringe. “And listen. I want you to be comfortable, but Remus is my friend. He deserves a chance as much as anyone else, and to be blunt we’re all he has. Could you try to be a little more accepting of him?”

Virgil nodded against Janus’ shoulder. “Yeah, alright.”

“I’ve got the popcorn!” Remus announced, bursting back into the room with an expression far too gleeful for someone who hadn’t just added something obscene to the bowl of snacks.

As Remus placed it down on the table, Janus leaned forward to look, and was surprised to see that only sweets seemed to have been added. M&Ms, skittles, and gummy bears were littered liberally throughout the bowl, with melted chocolate drizzled on top.

“That looks… not disgusting,” Janus commented. “Who are you and what have you done with Remus?”

Remus cackled, taking a messy handful of sweets and popcorn. “I’ve been wanting to make this for ages. So much sugar jam-packed into one bowl- ooh, maybe I should add jam next time. Do you think Logan would kill me for stealing his Crofters?”

“Yes, he would,” Virgil answered immediately, hesitantly picking out a purple skittle and a piece of popcorn.

At Virgil’s reluctance, Janus quickly removed his glove and picked up the least sticky handful he could. He popped it into his mouth without hesitation, and thankfully everything in the bowl was exactly what it looked like.

He nodded to Virgil, who then finally ate the small handful he’d selected.

Virgil being trusting enough to eat something Remus had prepared meant he’d come a long way, and Remus didn’t seem to be actively antagonising him anymore. And, just for a moment, Janus felt like things were working out perfectly.

 -----

 Janus curled in on himself, trying desperately to take a deep breath and stop his tears from falling. Remus’ arms were wrapped around him, but he barely registered his friend’s presence – he hadn’t been able to focus on anything but the world falling down around him for the past three hours.

“If he wants to strike out on his own, that’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. Virgil didn’t want him, didn’t even want anything to do with him. They’d always struggled to see eye to eye in regards to their jobs, with most of Janus’ plans involving deception and causing Virgil a great amount of anxiety. Janus had tried to tone it down a bit, but when Virgil refused to listen to his reasoning everything had blown up in one big fight, and their relationship of two years had ended. He wasn’t sure if Virgil would ever speak to him again.

Remus made some kind of soothing noise, but Janus could barely make it out over the sound of his own sobs.

“The Light Sides won’t accept him. Or maybe they will, I don’t care,” Janus continued. “Either way, we’re all alone now.” Nobody else in the Mindscape, Dark Side or Light Side, seemed to want to be around them.

Remus rested his chin on top of Janus’ head, soothingly stroking his back. “We’re not alone. We’ve got each other.”

A warm smile appeared through Janus’ tears, and he turned his head to rest his forehead against Remus’ flannel shirt. He breathed in the scent of Remus’ cologne, and the lingering smell of a damp forest and unknown chemicals which never seemed to quite leave him. “Yeah, we have.”

  “Hurry up, slowpoke!” Remus called from some unseen place higher up the hill.

Janus huffed. He knew he wasn’t as fit as Remus, as he didn’t go charging about on adventures in the Imagination nearly as often, preferring to sit with his feet up reading a good book in his room, but he hadn’t been prepared for exactly how out of practice he was. While Remus had climbed the mountain and raced between the trees that lined it with ease, Janus lagged behind trying to catch his breath, every tree root seeming to be trying its level best to trip him.

He didn’t know why Remus was determined to reach the top of the mountain so quickly, it wasn’t like it would disappear if they took too long – at least, Janus was pretty sure it wouldn’t, but he could never be certain with Remus’ side of the Imagination.

Sighing, Janus hitched up his yellow skirt – today was admittedly not the best day to wear it – and surged onwards through the trees.

When he finally reached the top, Remus was waiting for him. The trees cleared to reveal a jagged cliff edge, which Remus was perched on the edge of, nonchalantly swinging his legs over the abyss. He grinned as he saw Janus, patting the spot beside him.

“We’re right on time, we didn’t miss it!” He said cheerfully as Janus carefully arranged his skirt and sat down.

Janus was about to ask what ‘it’ was, when he glimpsed the drop below him, so sharp it made him feel dizzy just from looking at it. He unthinkingly grasped Remus’ hand, and warm fingers immediately wrapped around his own.

“Don’t look down,” Remus warned helpfully. “There’s nothing interesting there anyway. That’s what we’re here to look at.” He gestured to the sky in front of them, where the sun was setting.

As Janus looked up at it, he gasped. Their spot on top of the cliff gave them a view right out to the horizon, and what a view it was. Janus had never seen so many colours in a sunset – the usual red and orange tones mixed with navy blue and purple and even green. Clouds in all colours of the rainbow swirled around each other, the sky itself wavering between shades like disco lights.

“That’s the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen,” he murmured, unable to tear his gaze away.

“I’m glad you like it,” Remus said, his voice softer than usual, almost shy. “I spent ages trying to get the colours right.”

Janus suddenly turned to him, gaping in astonishment. “You made this? Remus, that’s incredible!”

Perhaps it was the lighting, but a blush seemed to spread across Remus’ cheeks. “I- well, the Imagination has some pretty cool sunsets anyway, so I decided to make my own. It’s not a big deal, really.”

“You’re kidding. It really is incredible. Re, you’re so talented, and it takes a lot of dedication to make something as big as that.”

Remus shrugged, glancing back towards the sunset, but Janus caught the bashful smile on his face. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

Janus smiled back, watching the kaleidoscope of colours light up Remus’ face, soft gold picking out the lighter tones in his hair, green making his emerald eyes mesmerizingly bright. The sunset itself was nothing, nothing compared to how beautiful Remus was. Janus felt short of breath just looking at him, but in a far more pleasant way than when he’d been climbing the mountain. His heart was thudding and he just wanted to smile forever because Remus was so beautiful, and he might have noticed before, but he’d never acknowledged the feelings. Never let himself stare or be swept away by how utterly gorgeous Remus was.

And Janus was struck by the sudden urge to kiss him. He wouldn’t even have cared if the two of them tumbled off the cliff as he did it – it wasn’t like anything in the Imagination could permanently harm them anyway – he just wanted Remus.

But when Remus looked back at him, eyebrows raised in question, Janus felt his courage melt away. Remus must have noticed him staring, and that thought alone mortified him.

So, he did what he’d always done with feelings he wasn’t ready to deal with – he shoved them down as far as he could, and tried to ignore them. Giving Remus’ hand a squeeze, he looked back out at the sunset.

 -----

 Ignoring his feelings for Remus proved rather more difficult than he’d anticipated. When he was crushing on Virgil, he’d at least been able to put their friendship first and push any romantic feelings to the back of his mind while they hung out, but whenever Remus was in the room Janus could think of nothing but how he felt about him.

He could barely even focus on Remus’ rambles that he loved to listen to so much, instead only being able to stare and think wistfully of what could be if he had the courage to admit his feelings. But, since Remus was the object of his affections, there was nobody to push him in that direction.

So, he remained stuck in a stalemate with himself.

“Are you even listening?” Remus whined from his position draped across the sofa.

Janus was sat in his favourite armchair, watching Remus chatter on about something or other – he was about seventy per cent sure the subject was a prank that Remus was planning to pull on the Light Sides. “Hm?”

That clearly hadn’t been the best response, because Remus huffed and flopped down to lie flat against the sofa. “You’re not listening.”

“Like you weren’t listening when I asked you to clean the common room last week?” Janus raised an eyebrow. The living area outside his room had, over the years, become known as the Dark Side common room. While it had initially only consisted of a sofa, TV and a few other useful items, there was now a full set of chairs and several bookshelves piled with various things pertaining to the inhabitants interests. The other Dark Sides had even moved their rooms to come off from this room, though Virgil had moved his again shortly after their breakup.

Remus giggled as he raised his head, glancing around at the objects littered about and various stains on the carpet. “Touché.”

Janus sighed, and folded his arms as he leaned forward. “Explain it again, I’ll listen this time.”

Remus tilted his head to the side in consideration. “Nah, I’ll just show you. Come on!” He leapt up from the sofa, and grabbed Janus’ hand to pull him to his feet.

The gesture sent a jolt through Janus’ entire body, stealing his breath as Remus’ warm fingers clasped his own. He longed to pull Remus close, tell him exactly how perfect he was, but a thought nagged at the back of his mind. One that had been bothering him since he first realised his feelings for Remus, even since he first started to feel happy in Remus’ presence. “I actually have something I need to take care of,” he decided, reluctantly pulling his hand away.

Remus’ face fell. “Oh. Um… okay.”

Janus felt a sharp pain lance through his heart at that expression, but he offered Remus a smile. “I’ll be back soon, I promise. I just have to do this now.”

When Creativity had split, the Imagination hadn’t taken it well. Janus hadn’t tried to enter at the time, but he’d heard that at one point no tangible objects would form at all, leaving an endless void with only glitching, blurry shapes. It had taken a few weeks to settle down, and had returned to its usual landscape of mountains, plains and every biome imaginable.

The only difference was a rupture through the middle. The dirt in this valley was grey and coarse, the air stagnant. Nothing could be created or even summoned there, and if Roman or Remus stayed there long enough they began to feel ill.

Janus didn’t know why he felt drawn to this place, perhaps because it was the last permanent mark Romulus had left on the world – it was almost like a memorial to him. Whatever the case, since he’d discovered it Janus had always found himself coming here in times of distress.

Although, he wasn’t particularly distressed at the moment. But he had some things he needed to get off his chest.

His footsteps didn’t make a sound as he carefully walked down the slope from Remus’ side of the Imagination, and he stood in the middle of the chasm.

“Hey, Romulus,” Janus began, his voice shaking a little. He bent down to pick up a handful of dirt, scattering it from his hand. “What would you say, if you knew about all this? You’d probably laugh, to be honest. Find it poetic or something.” Janus shrugged, a small, wistful smile creeping onto his face. Romulus had always been one for stories, able to find poetry in anything. “And I guess it is, in a way – that the event that made me more distraught than anything, resulted in the thing that… makes me happier than I’ve ever been.”

“I feel bad,” he continued, beginning to pace around the canyon. “Remus is amazing and wonderful in every way, but… I wouldn’t have him if I hadn’t lost you. I miss you so much, Romulus. You were my best friend, and I don’t want anything to come from your passing that makes me happy at all.”

He paused as he registered a rustling in the bushes. Wiping his eyes, he quickly turned around. It was coming from Roman’s side, so it was probably just a harmless creature, and none of the creations could enter the valley anyway. Janus’ eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of bright blue through the branches, and a figure emerged to make his way into the canyon.

Patton.

“What are you doing here?” Janus snapped. This place was a devastating reminder of the Split; the person who’d caused it had no business being here.

Patton froze, his head snapping towards Janus. Even from this distance, Janus could see his face fall. “I didn’t know you’d be here,” he said, looking at his feet as he hesitantly shuffled forwards.

Janus scoffed, rolling his eyes as Patton approached. “Ah right, that totally answer my question of what you’re doing here in the first place.”

Patton came to a stop several meters in front of him, undecidedly shuffling his feet as if he wanted to move closer. When he spoke, his voice was so quiet Janus could barely hear it. “He was my friend too.”

The air suddenly seemed a lot thinner as a wave of something washed over Janus. He remembered how close Patton and Romulus had been at one point, with the same sense of childlike wonder and desire to make others happy – though they’d gone about it in completely different ways, with Romulus being completely and unapologetically himself to find ways of entertaining, while Patton would betray everyone he cared about to meet the moral standards of those around him. Janus realised suddenly that the something was rage, a white-hot sensation that made him want to scream and cry at the same time, because it was so unfair that Patton called Romulus his friend after what he’d done to him.

“I know he probably didn’t think of himself as such,” Patton said quickly, raising his hands in a placating gesture. His eyes seemed a little misty behind his glasses. “But I remember when we were kids, and he’d take me on adventures in the Imagination. He taught me how to make flower crowns and daisy chains, and he was so patient and kind.” Patton smiled sadly, and wiped away a smear of wetness that dribbled down his cheek.

“You have no right to talk about him, after what you did,” Janus hissed, taking a warning step towards him.

Patton just nodded, dropping his gaze to the floor again. “I know. I didn’t want to hurt him, you won’t believe me but I really never would have… if I’d known.” He sniffed before continuing. “I wanted us to be perfect. Or, what I thought was perfect at the time. No gory thoughts, no dirty jokes, nothing that people might think was bad. And it worked, until we were teenagers. But then Romulus started thinking up horror stories, he started thinking those jokes were funny, he didn’t seem to care that other people might not like what he created.”

“I tried to talk to him about it, but he just told me to stop being such a stickler. I’d never argued much with anyone before, but he…” Patton paused, moving his lips silently as if testing words out. “I was unfair to him. I kept pushing him when all he wanted was to be free to create. I didn’t know what I was doing. I thought I could get rid of the bad thoughts if I just… pushed them away from him. I thought they’d disappear, and he’d be fine. I’d have my friend back. But they didn’t disappear…”

“They became Remus,” Janus cut in.

Patton nodded. “How did you know?”

Janus shrugged, looking down at his hands. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. You had one ‘perfect’ Creativity who you adored, who only made cutesy, family friendly things. And then there was Remus…” Janus felt a soft smile spread across his face at the thought of Remus, despite the situation. “He’s loud and unfiltered and curious about absolutely everything. He loves horror, and I don’t think he’s written a happy ending in his life. He doesn’t try to please anyone else, he just creates for himself and doesn’t care what others think. Those were all the parts of Romulus that you didn’t like, that you pushed away.” Janus’ expression hardened as he took another step towards Patton. “All those little imperfections you wanted to get rid of. You created your own worst nightmare, and you know what? He’s better than you could ever hope to be.”

Patton’s lip trembled, and he looked resigned. “I suppose you’re right, although I’ve never known Remus all that well.”

Janus knew that had been cruel, no matter how true he felt it was. And watching Patton look so helpless, so unsure, something in his heart began to melt. Deep down, he knew that Patton really hadn’t meant to do any of this, that he’d just been a scared kid, and he missed Romulus as much as the rest of them did.

Before he knew what he was doing, he moved towards Patton and placed a hand on his shoulder, reaching for his handkerchief with the other. As gently as he could, he wiped away the tears that were rolling down Patton’s cheeks. “Perhaps you could know him, if you want to,” he murmured. “You’d have a lot to work through, but he’s very forgiving.”

“I would…” Patton took the handkerchief from Janus, and wiped his eyes before taking off his glasses and wiping the lenses. “I would like to know him, I think. I’ve been afraid, I guess, because I don’t know much about him. But that might change when I get to know him. And you certainly seem to care about him.”

“I do, yes,” Janus said immediately, his voice far more serious than even he had been expecting.

Patton cleared his throat, glancing sheepishly away from Janus. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking… the way you talk about him, are you and Remus…”

“We’re not together, no,” Janus answered the unfinished question. He kicked some dirt with one foot, watching the dust float uniformly to the ground. It had been years since he’d had a proper conversation with Patton, but perhaps talking about this could be a start to returning to some sense of normality. “I don’t know… whether I should talk to him about that.”

“Well, why not?” Patton asked. “If you like him, what’s stopping you?”

Janus shrugged, though he knew exactly what the reason was. “It’s just… Romulus. He was my best friend, and I feel like letting myself be happy with someone who only exists because he’s gone might be kind of… immoral?”

Patton seemed to ponder this for a moment, tapping his fingers on his chin and staring off into the distance. Eventually, he sighed, and took one of Janus’ hands in his as he turned back to him. “Listen, kiddo. I can’t tell you how to handle your own morality. Even though we’re all Sides of the same person, we all have our own standards, I’ve learnt that now. But here’s what I think: Romulus would want you to be happy. You know how much he loved love, and if he knew that someone who used to be a part of him made his best friend so happy – and I know you are because I’ve never seen you smile the way you do when you talk about Remus – well, I think he’d be just thrilled.”

Janus clapped his free hand over his mouth to stifle a sob. Patton was right, no matter how much he thought about it he couldn’t imagine Romulus being unhappy with the situation.

Patton suddenly looked frantic, reaching up to wipe Janus’ tears away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you-”

Janus shook his head, giving Patton a watery smile. “No, this is… thank you, Patton. I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear.”

And it was. While he still felt conflicted, he’d at least give some thought to the matter in a new light.

 -----

 “Ooh, this is fancy,” Remus exclaimed as he stepped through the doorway.

Janus wasn’t sure why Remus hadn’t been in his room before, considering that he’d lived in the Dark Side for several years now. Perhaps it had something to do with Janus being very particular about his things, and Remus having a habit of causing a mess everywhere he went.

He glanced around his room, trying to figure out what Remus saw in it. Sure, there were a lot of gold furnishings, and furniture that would have been cost an extortionate amount of money in the real world, but he’d never thought of it as fancy. Perhaps he just had expensive taste. “Whatever. Let’s just get what we need and go.”

“Right, pranking time!” Remus clapped his hands together. While they often pulled light-hearted pranks on the Light Sides, the one they’d planned was rather more elaborate, but Janus was sure he had supplies that could make it work somewhere.

He hoped Remus would get distracted while he searched, because while the room appeared neat and tidy on the surface, opening any given cupboard was liable to cause an avalanche of poorly stacked bric-a-brac. Sure enough, Remus began poking around near his stand of spare hats – Janus had started wearing them when scales began to creep into his hairline, causing it to recede on one side – allowing Janus to sift through his chest of drawers in peace.

“I didn’t know you had a gramophone!” Remus called from across the room.

Janus briefly turned around to see him standing by the old thing, waving his hands around it as if he desperately wanted to touch the shiny object but didn’t know if Janus would let him. Despite never having been used, it was well polished – Janus made sure to clean it thoroughly every time he tidied his room. It had been one of the last gifts Romulus had given to him, and though he didn’t have any records to play, it was one of his most treasured possessions.

“Do you have any music for it?” Remus asked, glancing around.

“No, I… I don’t,” Janus said. He was sure Romulus would have given him some music, if he’d been around long enough, but only Creativity could summon items like that.

“I could summon something for you,” Remus offered, and Janus was taken back to a day almost a decade ago, when a wild-eyed boy had dragged him out of the kitchen on their quest for cake ingredients, and a beautiful friendship had begun to form.

“Sure,” Janus decided. He quelled any apprehensive feelings, as he knew Remus’ taste in music could be… discordant, to put it nicely, but he was pleasantly surprised when Remus placed the needle onto the record he’d summoned, and a jazz piece Janus often like to listen to while cleaning began to play.

“I like this one,” Janus commented.

“I know,” Remus said with a smile. Then his eyes lit up. “Let’s dance!” he suggested, clapping his hands together.

“You can dance?” Janus asked incredulously. It wasn’t too hard to believe that Remus could dance, but he’d never shown any inkling of the skill around Janus before.

“Well duh, I’m a showman. I’ve gotta have some variety in my performances.”

Janus raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never seen you dance.”

“That’s because I’ve never had a partner,” Remus said, extending a hand.

Janus stared at him for a moment. The offer was tempting, but… “I don’t know how to dance,” he admitted.

Remus just shrugged. “That’s ok, I’ll show you! Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Janus sighed, and crossed the room to take Remus’ hand. It couldn’t be too difficult to pick up.

Janus’ breath caught in his throat as Remus placed a hand on his waist. His touch was gentle, with no semblance of the reckless abandon with which he approached almost everything else in life. And with the same feather-light, almost reverent touch, he took Janus’ hand in his free one and guided both of their arms into a hold familiar only from the many times Janus had watched dances.

Though Remus left a gap between their chests, Janus could feel the heat radiating from him, longing to step forwards and close the distance between them. His skin felt like it was on fire everywhere Remus touched him, and he was sure that had nothing to do with bodyheat.

“Is this okay?” Remus asked, his voice low.

Janus could only nod dumbly, the scent of Remus’ cologne which had once been familiar and comforting now intoxicating.

As they started to sway, Janus could barely focus on the steps he was making, but Remus managed to guide him carefully and precisely, his fingers squeezing Janus’ waist slightly in commendation every time he got something right. Janus wondered, briefly, if Remus knew what he was doing to him, if he knew that every touch sent Janus’ heart fluttering. But surely if Remus knew about something as important as Janus’ crush on him, he wouldn’t be able to go without talking about it.

The song changed, and Remus moved his hand up to Janus’ shoulder. Janus felt a little disheartened at the change – with Remus’ hand on his waist, he could pretend there was something romantic behind the touch, if only for a moment – but Remus didn’t stay like that for long. He reached to caress Janus’ chin, keeping his body in the same position to guide Janus in the dance. His fingers brushed the locks of hair that curled around Janus’ ear, and Janus unconsciously leaned into the touch. But as Remus touched the scales that covered half of Janus’ face, Janus flinched back.

Nobody liked his scales. Roman was outwardly repulsed by them, and the rest of the Sides avoided looking at his face as more appeared. Virgil hadn’t seemed to mind them, but now he hated everything about Janus. Although, Remus often found things interesting that others found disturbing. Perhaps he wanted to know about the scales. Wasn’t that one of the first things Remus had said to him on the day they became friends, that he was interesting?

“What’s wrong?” Remus asked.

Janus shook his head, forcing a smile. It was fine that Remus must think of him as nothing more than a curiosity. Totally fine. “Nothing, I understand that you’re curious about them.”

Remus furrowed his eyebrows. “Curious?”

“Well, yes,” Janus said, the words tasting like sandpaper in his mouth. “My scales are… unusual to say the least. It’s understandable that you find them interesting.”

“That’s not…” Remus looked utterly confused. Though he stopped swaying the two of them in the dance, he still held Janus close to him. And slowly, giving Janus every chance to pull away,  he reached out again and ran his fingers over Janus’ jawline, not hesitating when he moved from the smooth skin to the grooves of his scales. “That’s not what I was thinking about.”

Janus’ breath caught. His heart was thudding so loudly he was sure Remus could hear it, and when he spoke his throat felt dry. “Then, what were you thinking about?”

Remus let out a soft sigh, tilting Janus’ chin to look him in the eyes. And there, Janus saw something much softer than curiosity, something so pure and loving that he could feel his heart melting. “You’re just… beautiful…”

For a moment, Janus was sure he’d misheard, but the earnest look in Remus’ eyes told him as much as his words did. But the open look was nothing like his usual honesty, with thoughts thrown into the wind without a care of who might hear them. Remus was bearing his heart on his sleeve for Janus, and he almost looked terrified – and Janus realised that he must be scared that he wouldn’t feel the same. How Remus could even consider that seemed absurd to Janus, because there was nobody more perfect for Janus than he was, but he needed to show him that. “I…” Janus swallowed, trying to push out the words that lodged in his throat. “Remus, I…”

The truth was simple – he loved Remus more than anything else in the world – but he couldn’t push the words past his lips, didn’t even know if he could put into words how he felt. So, he did the only thing he could – he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Remus’.

The kiss was short, but it sent a wave of exhilaration through Janus’ body. He’d been longing for this for years. When he pulled away, Remus was smiling – a smile softer than Janus had ever seen before.

“That was… wow,” Remus breathed.

A light laugh escaped from Janus’ lips. “Yeah, it was.”

Remus glanced a little shyly at Janus. “Do you want to, um, do that again?”

Janus didn’t hesitate to pull him in again. This kiss was longer and deeper, and Janus began to feel hot in a way that had nothing to do with temperature and everything to do with how Remus’ hands slid down to his waist and pulled him close so their bodies were flush against each other.

“You’re perfect,” he murmured as they parted for air, brushing his thumb over Remus’ cheekbone.

Remus squeezed his waist, harder than he had when they were dancing, and Janus gasped against his lips. And suddenly Remus was tilting Janus’ head back, keeping him steady with one hand behind his neck.

“Didn’t we have a prank to set up?” Janus asked breathlessly as Remus pressed kisses along his jawline.

“We did,” Remus murmured against his skin, “but now there are things I’d rather be doing.”

Janus wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders, relaxing into the embrace. He couldn’t agree more.  

 -----

 Janus leaned back against the headboard, curling Remus’ hair around his fingers as his boyfriend lay in his lap. They’d been together for over a year, and over that time Remus’ room had become familiar to Janus. The curtains were almost permanently closed, apart from when Janus insisted Remus let some light in to help with his sleep schedule; the wallpaper was peeling but Remus said he liked the aesthetic; bottles of various chemicals were scattered about on his desks in a way that Janus had been sure nobody would be able to keep track of, but Remus seemed to know where everything was.

Remus hummed contentedly, briefly opening his eyes to glance up at Janus. “Do you know why I learnt to dance?”

Janus paused for a moment. He’d always assumed that it was purely for showmanship as Remus had said, but his tone implied there was a story behind it. “No, why?”

“Because of you,” Remus said softly.

Janus furrowed his brow. “Me? But I don’t dance.”

“I know you’ve never learnt, but you still dance. I’ve seen you in the kitchen while you’re making dinner, dancing to your jazz music,” Remus sighed, reaching up to take one of Janus’ hands in his own. Janus had started wearing gloves to cover the scales that had appeared on the back of his left hand, but Remus seemed to prefer him without them, so he always took them off to cuddle. “And I thought, it would be nice to dance with you. So I decided to learn.”

Janus squeezed Remus’ hand, feeling something fond welling up in his chest. “That’s… really sweet of you.”

“I know, it’s not like me at all, is it?” Remus laughed.

Janus chuckled as well, but he had to admit that Remus actually was sweet a lot of the time. He didn’t show it in front of others, and even Janus had rarely seen that side of him before they’d started dating, but now he made sure to compliment Janus every day and arrange surprises for anniversaries of every little relationship milestone and all the things that Janus had always thought were sappy but turned out to be wonderful when Remus did them.

“Jan?” Remus asked after a few moments of comfortable silence. His voice was small, far more hesitant than Remus usually did anything.

Janus was instantly alert, but he tried to keep playing with Remus’ hair as calmly as he could. “Yes, my love?”

“What would you do if you could reverse the Split?”

Janus froze. He’d talked to Remus about his life before the Split, so although Remus didn’t remember anything from that time he knew that Romulus had been Janus’ best friend. And he missed Romulus so badly that some days it felt like a physical ache, a hole in his heart that could never truly be filled.

“If I reversed the Split, I’d have Romulus back,” Janus pondered, and he felt Remus tense in his lap. As he looked down at the man in his arms, he tried to picture a world without Remus, and almost couldn’t fathom how such a place had ever existed. “But I’d lose you. And I don’t want to sound sappy, but… I’m not entirely sure if I’d be able to live without you.”

If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call

Don't stop me now 'Cause I'm having a good time

Janus groaned again, rubbing Remus’ back. “Your alarm…” Remus grunted in response. Janus gave his shoulder a little squeeze, shaking gently, and tried again in his gravelly morning voice, “Muse… it’s your alarm….”

“Hmmm...“ Remus hummed and snaked his hand further under Janus’ leg, then stilled. ”’S okay... y’can snooze it….”

Janus chuckled again, “Sure about that?” Remus didn’t move. Freddie continued to sing the same six verses on a loop. “Don’t stop me now…” Janus was beginning to think of various cathartic ways to stop him right now. Most involved some combination of heavy cinder blocks or stomping on the phone wearing Remus’ Docs. “Remus…” Janus groaned again.

Remus muttered incoherently in response.

“Remus, you’re laying on top of me. You have to get up, love.” The alarm looped through again. “If you get up,” Janus tried a sing-song voice, “You can check the reviews for your book on Amazon…” Remus twitched, tightening his grip on Janus’ leg, but didn’t open his eyes.

Janus sighed, pouring as much annoyance into his voice as he could manage despite being slightly amused by his position. “Alright, then, if you won’t get up... I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands…”

Janus smirked, shifting the arm still pinned under Remus’ body. After a few seconds, Remus suddenly yelped, releasing his grip on Janus’ leg and rolling off his chest. “I’m up, I’m up, I’m up….”

Janus laughed low in his throat as Remus sat up, rolling his neck and stretching his arms before suddenly catapulting himself off the bed and onto the floor, knocking their blankets half-way off the bed as he moved. Janus yanked the covers back, pulling them up to his chin. “Remus! The blinds are open!”

Remus stood in front of the open window and waved broadly at the building across the street, the sunlight gleaming off his bare skin until he tugged on the cord of the blinds, letting them drop down, covering the window and the sunlight, along with their nakedness. Janus shook his head, fighting to calm the blush on his cheeks. He sat up, plumping the pillows between his back and the headboard and reached for the water glass on the wobbly nightstand. Remus padded over to his desk, snatched up his phone and stabbed at it for a several seconds, fighting through his anti-snooze alarm game to get the music to stop.

If you wanna have a good time Just give me a call

Don't stop me—

“Sorry, Freddie, but somebody had to stop you,” Remus giggled as he finally dismissed the alarm. Janus chuckled. Remus made the same joke every morning and somehow it made Janus smile every time. Remus looked up from the device, waggling his eyebrows at Janus before suddenly shouting, “Incoming!” taking a running leap at the bed. Janus quickly put down the water glass, a half-second before Remus landed on the bed next to him, the springs squeaking loudly in protest.

Planting a wet kiss on Janus’ check, Remus pulled back the covers and slid underneath, clambering over him, carefully sitting between his legs, back pressed against his chest. Pulling the covers up to their waists, Remus drew Janus’ arms around his middle and leaned back, resting his head in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. Holding his phone with one hand, Remus reached his other hand behind them, resting his arm on the top of the headboard and massaging the back of Janus’ neck with the pads of his fingers.

“Hmmm... Let’s see what the jury’s verdict is, shall we, Barrister?” Remus murmured, opening his storefront page to check the latest sales figures and reviews for his debut novel.

Janus tightened one arm around Remus, pointing at the screen with the other, “Mmm, that’s good feedback!” He hummed, kissing Remus’ temple.

Remus nodded, scrolling quickly through, narrowing his eyes and muttering as he scanned through the reviews. “Positive, positive, freak, positive, positive, bot, sexy bot… hmm, maybe I should come back to that one—” he squealed with laughter when Janus nipped at the side of his neck,”—kidding, kidding… unless?” He laughed again when Janus resumed the assault on his sensitive skin.

“Oh! That reminds me!” Remus suddenly cried, leaping off the bed, grabbing Janus’ hand and dragging him across the room toward his desk.

“Wait—” Janus cried out, reaching for the robe draped over the edge of the bed frame.

Remus shrugged, “The blinds are drawn, Jannie, and believe me,” he waggled his eyebrows, gaze dragging up and down his boyfriend’s body. “I appreciate the view…”

Blushing, Janus wrapped the robe around himself, “And I appreciate the sentiment but I would feel better wearing something.”

Remus grinned, threading both arms around Janus' waist, pulling him close. “Eh, my loss,” murmuring against his lips before slowly kissing him.

Not quite able to hide his smile, Janus draped his arms over Remus’ shoulders, kissing him back. Remus pulled back, eyes tracing Janus’ features, lingering on his lips before coming back up and gazing into his eyes. A soft smile spread across Remus’ face and he was suddenly still, just staring at Janus.

After a few moments, Janus brushed his fingers down the back of Remus’ neck, murmuring quietly, “Was there something you wanted to show me, Muse?”

“Right, yes—” He pecked Janus’ lips one more time before waving his arm toward the giant white poster board leaning against the wall above his desk. “I got a new story idea!”

Janus swallowed, staring at the board. “Wow,” he croaked, voice weak.

Remus’ storyboard spanned the full width of the large writing desk, covering the wall from the very edge of the desktop up as high as the 6’3” tall man could reach. The new storyboard was already littered with multi-colored notecards and sketches connected by bits of string studded with paperclips. Janus knew from the last storyboard that Remus used the paperclips to indicate causal relationships between beats in the story. It was nearly indecipherable to Janus.

At the center of the board was a large, detailed drawing of a corpse. It lay in a dark red pool, the edges carefully shaded and smudged, giving it the look of an oversaturated digital photo. It appeared that the corpse had been dismembered— or perhaps even fallen apart. The drawing included little scraps of cloth that looked like Remus had snipped from his own clothing. The drawing was compelling and horrifying and no matter how much the image turned Janus’ stomach, he struggled to look away.

“What happened to the old board?” Janus asked at last.

“Oh, yeah,” Remus waved his hand dismissively. “I burned it after I sent the final draft to my editor last night." Janus bit his lip, eyes wide, sniffing for smoke. "Don't worry, I cleaned the sink afterwards. And I didn't burn everything…” Remus yanked open his bottom desk drawer, taking out the empty chocolate box from the Valentine Janus gave him two years ago.

“You kept the box?” Janus’ voice was hushed.

Remus blinked up at him, eyebrows knit together, “Of course I did, Jannie.” He grinned. “It was our first..." he shimmied his shoulders, "Valentine’s Day.”

Janus leaned closer, carding his fingers through Remus’ wild mane and kissed his cheek. His body radiated a welcoming heat and Janus looped his arm around his waist, tucking his side against Remus’ and settling his head on his shoulder. Janus smiled, looking down at the box. “What's inside?”

“Keepsakes! Look...” As he opened the box, Janus’ eyes grew when he recognized both items from the storyboards for Remus’ first two books. In those stories, they were items the protagonist killers had left behind after they’d each disposed of their first victim’s bodies. The first was a tiny, red-stained stuffed doll with ‘x’s over the eyes and three pushpins in its head. The second, a battered, empty box of Crayola chalk with blood-red lettering scrawled illegibly across the front. The words had faded to a dusty, brownish-red and Janus wondered if Remus had actually used blood for the effect. It wouldn’t have been the only item on that particular storyboard that had been splattered in Remus’ own blood ‘for the tone.’

Janus sucked in a sharp breath and shuddered, feeling his lips curl in revulsion, but quickly schooled his features into a neutral expression before Remus could turn back to him.

“Oh, Baby, are you cold?” Janus nodded, only telling a half-lie. Remus stood behind him, wrapping both strong arms around his chest, pressing their bodies close together, letting his warmth seep through the thin material of Janus’ silk robe.

After a few minutes, Remus kissed the back of Janus' neck. "Better?" Janus hummed and Remus released him, picking up the box. He reverently pressed the lid back down, brushing away a speck of lint. Glancing quickly back at Janus, he tucked it away in his bottom desk drawer, closing it firmly. He bounced, tapping his fingers on his thighs before looking at the wall. “So, my new story…”

Remus waved his arm in front of the storyboard again. “I present to you,The Comedy of Horrors!” He grinned brightly, eyes on Janus.

Keeping his eyes on Remus’ face for as long as he could and away from the board, Janus tilted his head at his boyfriend, smiling. “I’m assuming the reference to Shakespeare is no accident?”

Nodding rapidly, “Yes! So my story, just like The Comedy of Errors, is also about these twins. The Comedy of Horrors is set in a modern world with magic and mages and spells..." Remus gesticulated wildly as he spoke. "One of the twins accidentally insults a mage... Maybe they were dating and it ended badly, maybe it's unrequited love turned to a jealous rage..." Remus shrugged, "Maybe he just ran over his cat...."

He waved his hands around again and Janus reacted quickly, catching a cup of paintbrushes Remus knocked over as he spoke. Remus didn't pause, apparently not noticing. "I dunno, haven't worked that bit out yet, but anyway the mage puts a curse on the guy, a curse that will make him slowly decompose, a little bit every day. The curse'll make his hair fall out, then his toenails, then his toes… or maybe then his teeth... “ Remus tapped at his own teeth and picked up a pencil, scrawling something on the storyboard.

He stepped back, looking at the board, then nodded. He tugged at Janus’ elbow, “See, he’ll end up with a big pile of toes at the end of the second act,” he pointed at a detailed, photo-realistic sketch of a pile of dismembered, rotting toes. Fixated on the board, Remus didn’t notice Janus’ grimace as he fought a wave of nausea.

“It’s gonna be great!” he said at last, turning to Janus, who quickly nodded. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Remus clapped his hands together, “The catch is that the mage targets the wrong twin!”

He pulled Janus’ hand toward the other half of the board, pointing to a sketch of a large McMansion-style house, four stories tall, with giant columns and flowering hedges in the front. It was completed in a different style, this time looking like a watercolor worthy of a museum. “The mage curses the guy’s twin brother and they have to team up to figure out what's going on and defeat the curse before he dies a horrible death,” Remus grinned brightly, eyes dancing as he pointed to the large drawing of the corpse in the center of the board.

Janus nodded, “So it’s another horror-murder mystery?”

Remus stared at Janus, a confused expression painting his face. “No, it’s a comedy, like the title." He wiggled his fingers together. "Hmm, maybe even a rom-com... ooo, yes! The guy's twin and the mage could end up falling in love..." He clapped his hands together again. "Classic enemies to lovers!" He danced around, making more notes on cards and pinning them up on the board. "There’s gonna be all this slapstick and puns… I’m gonna see if I can get my brother to do some illustrations, too. Mine aren’t nearly as good as his.”

Janus shook his head, rubbing Remus’ back and kissing his shoulder. “Muse, don’t sell yourself short. These illustrations are remarkable.” He watched as Remus’ face bloomed with a new idea and he started rooting through his art supplies. “How long have you been working on this, anyway?”

Already leaning over the desk, holding three different colored art pencils in one hand, Remus was adding to the board, chewing his lip as he drew. “Uhhh, I started last night.”

It was Janus’ turn to look confused. “But we went to bed at the same time... When did you…?”

Finishing an outline of the new sketch, Remus looked down at his feet, flexing his toes against the carpet. “I… I couldn’t sleep last night.” He glanced at his desk drawer again. "Too excited." Dropping the pencils and facing him again, Remus brushed a lock of Janus’ hair from his face. “So, after you drifted off, I started working on this.” He gestured at the board. “I got this far and then got kinda tired, so I emailed my publisher a spec and went to bed. The sun was just barely up when I conked out, so I still got plenty of sleep.”

Remus’ phone pinged a few times and he picked it up, checking his notifications. “Oh, sweet! She liked it!” He held his phone out for Janus to read. Janus accepted the phone, scrolling through the email and opening the attachment.

“She’s sent you a contract for a third and fourth book.” He looked up at Remus, “I thought you only sent her one other spec.”

Remus shrugged, “Yeah, I guess she liked it.” He reached for his phone. “Here, let me sign it and—”

“Wait! You can’t just sign a contract like that! You have to at least read it. You can probably negotiate better terms, too. She might be trying to lock you in as a new writer. But you saw all those reviews... by the time these books would be out, you'll probably have a real following.” Janus held the phone behind his back, kissing Remus. “Let me look it over this afternoon. There's no rush—they’ll expect you to want to have your lawyer review it.”

“But I don’t have a lawyer, Jannie!” Remus pouted, reaching for the phone. Janus tilted his head, staring pointedly at Remus. “Oh… but I know a lawyer… you know,” he winked, swiveling his hips, “Biblically and all.”

Rolling his eyes, he smiled and then blushed when Remus caught his gaze trailing downward. Janus returned his phone with a sharp look. “Swear to me you won’t ever sign another contract without letting me look it over first?”

“I swear,” Remus put on his Very Serious Face to match Janus’ tone. Janus couldn’t maintain his scowl for long, though, and he cupped Remus’ face in both hands, staring into his eyes and grinning.

“I’m so proud of you, Muse… We should celebrate.”

Remus grabbed his hips, closing the distance between them. “Oh really…?” he growled. Janus laughed, opening his mouth to respond when Remus’ phone chirped out part of a nursery-rhyme, a personalized notification tone Janus hadn’t heard before. “Ugh, hold that thought, Hot Stuff,” Remus interrupted, checking his phone one more time.

“Yes!” he whispered. Remus looked up at Janus, a wild grin lighting up his face. “Ro’s coming over this afternoon! You’ll finally get to meet my brother!” Remus spun around in a little dance, fighting to keep his eyes away from his bottom desk drawer and the tiny ring box hidden there. He's gotta meet Ro first.

Janus winced, glancing at the clock across the room. “Um, Remus, it’s after 12 already… What time is he getting here?”

Remus stopped dancing and scrolled through his message history, “Uhh… 1:30.”

Janus’ eyes grew wide, “I’m… going to need some coffee.” He reached out, drawing his hand again through Remus’ hair. Remus practically purred, leaning into his hand. “And we both need a shower.” Remus shimmied his shoulders and Janus was quick to add, “A fast shower.”

Laughing, Remus tossed his phone on their bed and grasped both of Janus’ hands, pulling him toward the bathroom, swaying to the music in his head. “I can be fast.”

Sighing, but not pulling away, Janus murmured, “Please don’t make us late to meet him. I don’t want your brother to hate me.”

“Oh, Baby, you’ve got nothing to worry about… You’re dashing...” Remus raised Janus’ right hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss against his knuckles. “...And brilliant…” he gently kissed Janus’ other hand. “...And amazing and you wow the fucking pants off everyone you meet.” He pulled Janus closer, peppering kisses across his blushing face and down his neck as he walked backwards. “And Ro's cool, too... Oh, I can't wait for you to meet him! You’re gonna love him!” ---

Janus checked his watch. Shouldn’t be long now. The make-up on his face was itchy. It felt uncomfortable and wrong, just like the clothes. Why had he agreed to do this again? He should’ve just said no, it was a stupid plan anyway. His eyes wandered back to his wrist. Not even a minute had passed. If Remus wasn’t here in the next 15 minutes, Janus was free to leave. But for now, he waited.

 Time seemed to move so slowly. Janus was usually calm even in stressful situations but this had his anxiety going wild. It really was a stupid plan. And an entirely unnecessary one to boot. It was only a few months, they’ve gone through worse! Literally! Remus had been gone for a year once. Granted they hadn’t been together then but still. Janus was nothing if not patient. His partner was anything but.

 A sound, from up above. Janus glanced out of the slightly open window but he couldn’t see anything unless he left the car. After all, the buildings to the sides of the small driveway were at least five floors high. Another sound. Another look at the watch. The timing matched. Clattering, then a thump as something landed in front of the car. Or rather: someone.

 Remus’ agility was still somewhat baffling to Janus. He had checked the walls beforehand, how Remus got down from one of the roofs without getting hurt was beyond him. His boyfriend stood up straight, dusted himself off before grinning at Janus who rolled his eyes in response. Remus looks have gotten even wilder over the last few months. His hair longer, not only on his head but on his face. The moustache was now part of a beard. Janus was not a fan. With a few quick steps, Remus was at the window.

 “Hey, danger noodle~” he singsonged while wiggling his eyebrows. Janus fixed him with an unimpressed stare.

 “Get in the back, I want out of these clothes as soon as possible.”

 “You haven’t seen me in four months and that’s the love I get?”

 “Yes, because you dragged me into your stupid plan, now go!” Janus hissed and closed the window. Remus pouted at him for a few more seconds, before he moved behind the car, opened the trunk and slipped inside. Once Janus was certain that he had closed the lid properly, he started the car and calmly drove onto the street, the sound of sirens in the background.

   The drive was thankfully quick and without incident. The couple police cars that crossed their way didn’t seem to find a reason to stop and check them. So after around 20 minutes, Janus pulled into a garage on the other edge of the small city. Once he exited the car, he checked that the shutter had closed properly behind him before he turned on the light and opened the trunk.

 “I really don’t know how you can act so stupid and still get so damn lucky,” Janus scolded his boyfriend, who grinned at him before climbing out.

 “I wish I knew, Jan-Jan! Then I could go and thank whoever made me so lucky that I have you in my life.” Remus delivered that awful, cheesy line with so much confidence, Janus almost forgot to be annoyed with him. Almost. Remus had moved closer, his face only inches from Janus’ own until he was pushed away, a black gloved hand on his cheek.

 “Shut up, you corny rat. I need to get out of this outfit.” Janus moved away, grabbing the bag that had been left by a door that led out of the garage and further into the building. He turned back around for a moment, hand already on the doorknob. “And you dear, need a shave.” Remus giggled and quickly followed his partner out of the room, turning off the light when he left. The rental remained, in a now empty garage, keys left in the ignition.

   It took Janus another 15 minutes to get out of the offending clothes, let down her hair and braid it, pick an outfit she liked from the few options she had packed, get the make-up covering her vitiligo off and decide to change the charm on her bracelet to indicate female pronouns. She felt so much better with a hat more her style, a loose blouse and knee-long skirt, slender shoes and her trusted yellow gloves. Once she was satisfied, she went to check on Remus.

 Her boyfriend was already dressed and shaven when she came in and frowned at himself in the mirror. And Janus had to agree, he almost looked worse than before. Without a hair left on his lower face and dressed in the trademark red shirt and white skinny jeans of his brother, Remus looked pretty bizarre. The only remaining difference between him and Roman was the wild hair. Remus’ eyes met Janus in the mirror.

 “I look gross.” Janus nodded.

 “But it was your plan, so no complaining.”

 “What’s the fun of it if I can’t?” Remus whined. His girlfriend sighed.

 “Just let me cut your hair so we can get out of here?”

 “Kisses first?”

 “Fine,” Janus sighed but she couldn’t deny how good it felt to feel Remus’ lips on her own again. Apparently he had also had the time to brush his teeth, a nice surprise. They simply stood there for a minute, locking lips but once Remus tried to get his tongue involved, Janus pulled back.

 “That’s enough. We have a long drive, let me finish your look.” Remus pouted but obliged, sitting down on a stool while Janus got out the scissors and electric razor. Janus worked in silence for a bit before commenting: “Roman is going to be so mad at you once he comes back from his trip.”

 “When’s that going to be?”

 “They planned to stay for five days, so three more.”

 “And he got Daddy, Nerdy Wolverine and Spiderling to come along?”

 “Yes and I don’t know how he managed that. I also don’t know how you convinced him that he should go on a ‘no technology camping trip’. And with perfect timing for your little stunt as well.” Remus grinned.

 “I don’t kiss and tell, Jannie, you know that.” Janus scoffed.

 “The less I know, the better, probably. But I brought Roman’s phone, wallet and perfume, so you should have no trouble convincing anyone that you’re him if we’re stopped.”

 “My, my, J-anus. Stealing my brother’s clothes and papers? You are so naughty~” Janus paused to hit him on the head lightly.

 “Just to be clear: this is the first and last time I help you break out of jail. When you get arrested next time, you’re on your own. And who in their right mind plans to break out in broad daylight?”

 “I got away with it, didn’t I?” Remus grinned.

 “We’re not home yet, don’t jinx it.”

 “Yeah, yeah. Love you, Jan.”

“Woah, snakey, you surprised me there. All good?” Janus had been teased again by some of his classmates during recess, so it was easy for him to put on his pitiful begging face. He slowly turned his face up to look at his father, eyes slightly watery and lips pulled into a pout.

 “They were mean again. I miss Virgil,” he complained in the best choked up voice he could muster (which wasn’t all that good). Remus quickly tucked his phone away, crouched down and pulled his son into a proper hug.

 “I know. I get that school can suck big time; I didn’t always have a great time either. But tomorrow’s Friday and I’m sure Virgil will be all healthy again after the weekend. Ro already told me that his fever broke and he’s on his way to recovery.” Janus nodded but kept his pout.

 “It sucks being alone. I wanted to bring Jake but Papa wouldn’t let me” Remus blinked, surprised. Good, Janus thought, that means they haven’t talked about it yet, so that should make it easier.

 “I’m sure he had good reasons to say no.”

 “I know, we had a debate about it but I still think he’s being too strict. Jake wouldn’t escape, I carry him around all the time!”

 “Well-“ Remus seemed to struggle with supporting his husband’s decision in face of Janus’ hurt expression. “-there’s no guarantee for that and if someone finds out, it would be very bad.”

 “I took him to great-aunt Cathy’s funeral and no one noticed.”

 “You what?!” Janus broke eye contact to look to the side, intensifying his pout.

 “He was in my pocket and you and Papa didn’t notice. I had him while we were at Aunt Linda’s, too. Virgil and I played with him and he didn’t try to escape once.” He looked back to his dad; his pout replaced with a slight smirk now. Remus stared at him for a moment and then laughed.

 “Alright, that’s impressive, I’ll give you that. And I won’t tell Logan but that still doesn’t mean you can take him to school. Even if I gave you permission, Lolo won’t allow it.” Janus grinned, knowing he pretty much had his dad on his side now.

 “I’ve got a plan! We go buy another snake on our way back and Papa won’t find out until tomorrow after school. The tank’s big enough for one more!” Remus chuckled.

 “As much as I like the mischief in that plan, taking a new snake to school is too much risk. I won’t get used to you so quickly.” Janus shook his head.

 “I’d still take Jake! I just need to put a decoy in the tank ‘cause Papa checked if they were both there before we left this morning. But he can’t check for a snake he doesn’t know we have! It’s just for one day, please, Dad? Please??” He pulled out his best puppy dog eyes, which he had learned to weaponize from his uncle Patton. He could see how his dad tried to resist but in the end he was powerless against his son.

 “Fine! But if I’m landing on the couch for this, I’ll get pay back. Just ‘cause you’re a kid doesn’t mean that I’ll go easy on you,” Remus warned but with a grin on his face. Janus mirrored it and hugged him again.

 “Thanks, Dad.”

  The trip to the pet store wasn’t that much of a detour and Logan wasn’t supposed to come home until evening, so Remus and Janus had plenty time to search for a snake that resembled Jake as closely as possible. Despite wearing glasses, Logan had a very keen eye for details. The employee gladly helped, and soon they were on their way home with a new snake companion. Janus was very excited to introduce John to Jake and Joey and they seemed to get along well enough. Now he just had to keep his papa out of the room and smuggle Jake out the next morning. Easy peasy.

 Logan came home in the evening right when Remus finished dinner. They ate together, mostly listening to Remus talking about his experimentation with the exploding paint that had went quite well. Logan also talked about his day but nothing too exciting happened. After dinner they watched a movie together since Janus had already finished his homework. Soon it was time to head to bed and Janus was the first to use the bathroom to get ready and after him Remus. Janus had already returned to his room and was in the process of packing his bag for school tomorrow (something Logan insisted he’d do before going to bed to relieve stress in the morning) when there was a knock on the door.

 “Janus? May I come in?” Oh no, that was Logan. He couldn’t come in or he might discover John, Janus thought and quickly went over to the door to open it before Logan could enter. Once they were face to face, he gave his father his best innocent smile.

 “Yes, Papa?”

 “I wanted to make sure that you made your preparations for school tomorrow.”

 “I just finished, so I’ll go to bed now.” Logan smiled and laid a hand on his head.

 “Then you won’t mind if I checked, right?” Janus started to panic a bit, blocking the doorway when Logan made a move to go past him.

 “Why? You normally don’t. I’m big enough, I can do it myself!” Apparently his rambling had attracted his other father, since Remus came down the hall.

 “Lo, I’m done,” he said before glancing between the two. “Is everything alright?”

 “Thank you, Remus. Everything is fine, Janus is just attempting to stop me from finding out about the snake you two purchased him today.” Logan watched with a satisfied smile how his husband and sons’ faces first fell into shock and then slowly moved into guilt.

 “How?” Janus finally asked in a quiet voice, his disappointment clearly audible. Logan stroked his head in comfort.

 “Remus seems to have forgotten that I check our bank account every evening, so I found an unusual high withdraw from our local pet store it caught my attention. And considering the timing as well as our debate this morning, it was not hard to guess what you purchased.” He crouched down and met his son’s eyes. “Janus, I understand why you want Jake with you. Both Remus and I know how hard it can be to be alone in school. But smuggling a snake in and risking you getting expelled is not something I can condone. I’m sorry.”

 “’m sorry, too, for trying to trick you,” Janus answered, pouting for real this time. Logan nodded and stood back up.

 “We’ll talk about it again tomorrow. For now it’s time for bed.” His son nodded and after they exchanged good nights, he closed his door and shortly after they could hear him turn his lamps off.. Logan sighed and turned to his husband who now was the one to look at him like a kicked puppy.

Suddenly, a loud booming voice surrounded him, shaking his entire body. Janus curled in on himself, hiding from the pain and the vibrations of the sound. It stabbed through his head and down his back and belly, piercing his skin, shaking and pounding at his ribs. He seethed, twisting, finding nowhere to go.

The voice quieted and he felt the fuzzy tickles of Remus’ mustache against the top of his head. He heard a quiet whisper. “Sorry, Jannie, I forgot how sensitive your hearing is on mornings like this.” Janus sighed as he felt a gentle and warm touch dancing along his side and the pain of the thundering voice fizzled away. He flipped himself around to face Remus, relishing the heat pouring off of him, for once barely noticing that he was completely nude, because that meant nothing would keep away his warmth.

As Janus relaxed into the heat, he burrowed back under the heavy covers. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes, only able to make out a faint glow of the morning light filtering through the blankets. He eased his head up through a gap, squinting as the sudden bright light burned his eyes. He heard his own hissing breath and startled.

“Shhhh, Bananaconda, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Remus’ low shushing, combined with a finger gently stroking down his back started to calm him. Janus nuzzled against his body, his head fitting completely into the gap between Remus’ neck and shoulder. Janus froze, finally understanding the true cause of his difficult morning.

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“Oh, my sweet snakey, you didn’t realize.” He felt the rough calluses on Remus’ thumb and fingertips rubbing against his scutes as he cradled his jaw, running a palm over the scales on his head and back. “I’ve got you.” Remus laughed low in his throat as Janus hissed again, slithering and curling his entire body around him. “Or maybe you’ve got me….”

That would do it. “What about that guy I fixed you up with last week? The one from my team… Virgil?”

Remus threw his head back, wincing. “He was great. Smart, hot, we had the same taste in movies… He’d even read two of my books.” Remus sighed, signaling to the bartender for yet another glass.

Janus shook his head at him and he stayed back until Remus glared at him. Janus sighed, “So what happened?”

Remus smiled a little wistfully. “He came over to my place, we had a nice dinner—I made him your scallops recipe,” Janus nodded. “And we were, you know—“ Remus shimmied his shoulders, “—on the couch….”

Janus tried to hide a grin behind his glass, “Yes, you could say I’m more than familiar with your M.O., Re.”

Remus winked and bumped his shoulder, “Well, when it was time... we went to my bedroom and….“

Janus cringed, “And he saw your storyboard.”

“And he saw my storyboard,” Remus confirmed, nodding. He muttered a thank you to the bartender for his freshened drink and finished half in one gulp.

“What did he say?” Janus asked, his teammate’s recent avoidance of him suddenly clear.

“What do you think he said, Jannie?” Remus bent over the bar, burying his head in his arms. Janus had to lean in to hear his muffled response. “He thought I was a fucking serial killer. He pulled out his phone and started to call 911, had a panic attack right there in the middle of my bedroom. Meanwhile, I’m buck-ass naked and sporting a—ugh!” Remus sat up, covering his face with his hands. “It was a fucking unmitigated disaster.”

Janus carefully pried Remus’ hands away from his face and brushed his hair out of his eyes. Remus suddenly fell against his shoulder so Janus wrapped one arm around him, rubbing circles in his arm with his thumb. ‘I just want somebody to…” he groaned, picking up his drink and sipping it awkwardly with his head tilted against Janus. “I just want somebody to not freak out when they see how I come up with my stories. To not freak out when they…" His voice cracked. "When they get to know me. Why is that so much to ask?”

“Have you considered a less… visceral way of working out your plots? Or maybe, you know, not keeping it plastered on the wall in your bedroom?”

“What and hide it, like I’m actually a serial killer?”

Janus shrugged slightly, looking down at his one-time roommate-turned-lover-turned-fiancee-turned-enemy-turned best friend. Janus chuckled, remembering when Remus had called them Bingo Card Buddies because they'd checked all the boxes.

“Wait, Jannie, did it bother you that I had the storyboard up in our room?”

Janus took another sip of his drink, wincing, “Well, not bother so much as -“

“Oh… it did.” Remus looked down at his empty glass and waved at the bartender.

The bartender looked up and met Janus’ eyes over the top Remus’ head. Janus silently mouthed “No more.”

“Jannie, do you ever think about… you know?” Remus waggled his eyebrows, craning his neck to meet Janus’ eyes.

Janus smiled fondly down at him, but Remus could see there was no matching heat in his gaze. He sighed, shifting his head against the mostly-sober man’s chest. “I know, I know… you’re with him now.”

“I love him, Re.”

Remus and his brother used to laugh about silly romance novel plots with secret twins stealing lovers away from each other… until life imitated art and Remus ended up losing the first man he’d ever loved. The first man for a lot of things.

“I know you do, Jannie.”

“C’mon, let me get you home.” Janus pulled out his wallet, placing a few bills on top of the bar. He waved to the bartender, then wrapped a steadying arm around Remus’ waist and walked him outside.

Remus was silent during the cab ride back to his apartment, staring out the window. Janus walked him upstairs, unlocking the door with his key. Janus helped him take off his coat and dirty jeans, and tucked him into his bed. Rooting through the kitchen cabinets, he found some aspirin and a bottle of B-vitamins. Gatorade, as usual, was in the refrigerator. Janus found a small plastic trash bin and lined it with a plastic bag and brought it all back to Remus’ bedroom. He helped him sit up to take the pills and rehydrate a bit before letting him lie back down.

Janus walked over to his desk to turn off the work light before he left. He stared at Remus’ storyboard for a bit, feeling his stomach turn at the graphic sketches and foreboding red string connecting the images, newspaper printouts, and odd tshotckes. Remus also had pinned up bits of trash like ticket stubs, the top of a box of Stash tea, and an empty condom wrapper.

Turning his back against the unbroken darkness of the sky outside his window, Janus dressed for bed, walking through the brushing, scrubbing, and moisturizing steps of his night time routine by pure muscle memory. He blinked at his reflection in the mirror, running the pads of his fingers over the green, bumpy material of his shirt, letting the friction warm his chilled fingers, feeling the buzzy vibration travel up his fingertips, through his hands and his arms and back again to his chest, creating little loops of feeling. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the sensation to soften the edges of the crushing ache he felt in the center of his chest. It was an old trick that sometimes worked at start of a frenetic day but rarely helped in the long, quiet nights.

He snapped his eyes back open, staring at his reflection. “Stop wallowing and do something about it. Do your damn job. Bring them back.” Swallowing back the protesting inner voice that said he’d been trying—and failing—for years to do just that, he roughly zipped up his hoodie, ignoring the sharp pinch when he caught one of his scales in its teeth, and snapped off the light in his bathroom.

Closing his eyes and concentrating, he conjured a small indulgence, a cup of steaming earl grey tea. Holding the delicate cup close to his face, he relished the heat and the aroma of flowers and leaves and, with that twist of the blade that always made him think of one half of his heart, the scent of bergamot perfume.

‘Ugh, Jannie, you know I don’t do "tea." That’s much too normie for me. Try that with the Ner—’ He hadn't needed the power of deception to cause him to slap his own hand over his mouth when Janus’ face went stony at the mere mention of the Side. ‘Oh, I’m sorry Jannie, I didn’t mean…’

Janus had taken a deep breath, and eased his fingers through the wild riot of curly hair on his head. ‘It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean to…’ Pushing back against what had then been only a twinge in his chest, Janus raised the cup toward him again, ‘You know… You can tell the others you drink perfume if you try this…’

He’d narrowed his eyes at first, but seeing Janus’ gloveless hands, his face exploded in a smile. ‘Well why didn’t you just say so?’ Taking the cup, he’d guzzled the entire thing, squeezing his eyes shut and sticking out his tongue, making a gagging sound. ‘Ugh, it’s terrible!’ He’d grinned at Janus, cackling. ‘I love it! Let’s make some more!’

Janus staggered, grabbing at the wall for support as the unbidden memory dropped on him with the force of a truck. He took a few moments to steady himself, then walked to his bookcase, completing his nightly routine by pulling out the old journal bound in buttery soft yellow leather. Setting the cup and journal on his nightstand, Janus lowered the lights in his room, keeping the bedside lamp and a strip of lights along the edges of the room bright. He peeled back the covers on his bed, hissing in relief at the warmth that had built up while he’d finished his evening preparations. He slid under the covers, and pulled them up high, then opened the journal and picked up his tea, taking a sip.

Letting the journal rest on his lap, he thumbed through the pages filled with his tiny script. The journal had been a gift, conjured as a joke, the fancy binding branded with the title ‘My Top Secret and Very Evil Dastardly Plans.’ The first year after he’d been shackled, Janus had promised him that he would find a way to get him out before he ran out of pages in the book.

Up until then, he’d used the journal to track his work in the Core Mindscape, trying to find a better balance between peaceful ignorance and the righteous anger that threatened to drive the Side mad. “Much learning doth make thee mad,” he muttered under his breath. When he’d made the promise, he was confident that the half-empty book held more than enough pages to develop a successful strategy for freeing both of them.

Now there were only three empty pages left and he’d gotten no closer to success on either front of his war in all that time.

Gritting his teeth, he flipped through the pages, looking for an un-filled margin, an empty quarter-page, a few inches of blank space that he could use to jot down more ideas, anything that would allow him to not mar a fresh page. Anything that would allow him to delay his inevitable failure to keep his promise just a little longer.

A tear splashed down onto the book, blurring the ink. Gagging at the sour taste of his own ineptitude, Janus turned to the next blank page, pen hovering over the empty expanse. His whole body jerked when there was a sudden knock at his door, causing him to nearly spill his tea. He closed his eyes. There’s no-one who would knock at his door. The only other Side who could possibly be around in the Subconscious wouldn’t knock. Besides, Janus knew he was in the Imagination, stomping fabricated Nazi skulls. Any knocking he heard was just another trick of the Subconscious, and one he wanted nothing to do with.

Ignoring the knocking, Janus took another sip of his tea, tapping one end of the pen against his lips. The knocking soon grew to pounding, until finally he heard what sounded like Roman’s voice, “Deceit, open the damned door! We need you!” He heard a muffled conversation filtering under the door.

Rolling his eyes, Janus set aside the journal, flipping back the covers and he slid out of bed. “Did you get lost, My Prince?” he drawled dryly, not even bothering to put down his tea, not wanting to lose even a bit of the warmth of the cup while he dealt with this intrusion. Scowling and holding his cup with one hand, Janus yanked open the door.

The cup fell to the floor, shattering, splashing three sets of legs with the remnants of his tea.

---

Remus stared at his brother. His brother was the one to convince.

He knew that Logan would be on his side and would help get him back to Janus. He could see it in his eyes, that tiny spark of something hiding, whether it be love, or logic, or memory, or some impossible mixture of all three, there was something deep inside the Logical Side that drove him to trust Janus when no-one else in the Core Mindscape would. Remus was pretty sure that even Janus couldn’t see it when he looked into Logan’s eyes.

But Remus knew. Watching Logan talk about Janus… it was like looking in a mirror. Not to mention that the harder the Logical Side tried to push away the little voice in his head that they should get help from Janus, the more clearly Remus could hear him. Anything can be an intrusive thought. Even a good idea.

“You can bring me to Dee,” Remus whispered, carefully watching his brother’s eyes, begging him to listen when he didn’t have the strength to fight both the pain radiating through him and his brother’s mistrust of his lover.

Roman’s sudden movement jarred his broken hands resting in his lap. He closed his eyes briefly, pushing back against the pain. He looked to Logan, staring in his eyes, pleading with him to listen and understand what he was saying. To break through what was stopping him from remembering. “It’s Deceit’s job to make sure that what Thomas doesn’t want to know won’t hurt him.” Remus could see a brief flash of understanding in Logan’s eyes before it quickly dissolved behind his carefully hewn mask.

Remus wanted to cry but if Roman thought he was too weak, he might be even more difficult to convince. He steeled himself, gathering his strength, putting fire behind his eyes as he looked now to Roman to make his final case. “Dee Dee didn’t want me in that tower any more than you did, Ro. Please,” Remus couldn’t stop his voice from cracking. He could feel his last threads of control slipping out of his grasp. He bored his eyes into his brother, “Bring me to him. He’ll keep me safe.”

Remus started to shake, no longer able to hide the shooting pains in his hands, his arms, his head. Every inch of him was on fire. He bit his tongue, trying to keep back the tears in his eyes, trying to be strong just a little while longer, just until he could get to Janus. He pressed his lips together, not willing to give up, but not knowing how much longer he could last.

Roman was speaking to him, “Can you move?”

Remus wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He grit his teeth, wincing at the pain that shot up his arms as he raised his broken hands to his brother. “To get back to Dee Dee? I can do anything.”

Logan was quiet, silently watching their exchange. When Roman nodded, Logan stood, reaching for Remus’ shoulders to help him sit up and get to his feet. “What’s the best way to the Subconscious, Duke?” he asked.

“You can’t go to the Subconscious, Pocket Protector.” Remus shook his head, staring into Logan’s eyes. “It’s too dangerous.”

“What?” Roman hissed. “If you think we’re gonna just let you slink off into the shadows, searching for Deceit by yourself, you must think we’re really stupid.” He gestured toward Remus’ bandaged hands. “You’ll be foiled by the first doorknob you encounter.”

Remus bit his lip. Fuck. Jannie will—lovingly—string me up by my toenails if I bring Logan into the Subconscious.

“No, I mean... “ fuck fuck fuck fuck where’s Jannie you need him? “I mean—”

Logan tilted his head at Remus, “I think the Duke believes that the Subconscious is too dangerous for me, specifically. Perhaps because of my particular links to Thomas’ memories and logic.” Remus narrowed his eyes at the Logical Side. He wasn’t Janus, but he also knew bullshit when he heard it.

Roman, however, nodded, “That makes sense.” Remus thought he caught a tiny smirk tweaking Logan’s lips. “You need bravery and creative control to manage the dangers of the Subconscious.” Roman stood tall, moving around the bed and reaching for Remus, wrapping his arm around his waist. “I will take you.”

Logan gently draped Remus’ arm over Roman’s shoulders, brow furrowing when Remus winced in pain as his injured arm settled in the new position. Logan looked carefully at Remus, asking in a low voice, “Is that alright? Or is it too much? Should we—”

Remus breathed heavily through his nose, gritting his teeth. “It’s okay. Anything to get back.” He took a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

---

Roman stood with Remus outside Janus’ door. He could see other doors in the hallway, but Remus urged him to ignore them, claiming that most of them were tricks of the Subconscious. Unsure whether to believe him or not, Roman finally decided it wasn’t worth the risk if his brother was actually telling him the truth.

Sighing heavily, he felt the cold seep through his tunic, chilling his bones and weakening his grip on his sword. Roman pounded on the bright yellow door in front of them again. “Why can’t I just tell him you’re with me so he’ll open the door?”

Remus shook his head weakly. “Dee will think it’s a trick.” His voice was taking on a dazed quality, reminding Roman of when they were small and he would talk in his sleep. “The Subconscious... will show you just what you want sometimes… but it’s all a trick in the....” Remus' voice trailed off.

Roman tightened his grip on his brother’s waist, “C’mon, Re, don’t go to sleep yet, we need to get you in there.” He pounded one more time, this time shouting through the door, “Deceit, open the damned door! We need you!”

Finally, he heard shuffling noises on the other side. He sighed, exasperated, muttering under his breath, “It’s about time, you slimy snake.”

Before he’d even opened the door, Roman could hear the Lord of the Lies muttering something sarcastic at him. Once the door was fully opened, though, Janus’s mouth fell open, staring at Remus hanging off Roman’s shoulder, head bobbing, fighting to stay conscious. Janus dropped his cup, shattering the porcelain and splashing tea all over them.

“Muse…” he whispered, reaching for Remus, tears welling in his eyes.

“Dee Dee,” Remus murmured, falling into his arms. Roman stood outside the door, watching his brother cry as Janus held him, making shushing sounds into his hair, and rubbing his back. After several minutes, Remus’ sobbing quieted, and Janus seemed to shake himself.

“Roman,” he said simply, squinting at the Princely Side. “You should come inside.”

Ushering in the twins, Janus started to lead Remus toward his bed. He looked over his shoulder at Roman, “Please close and lock the door.”

Roman followed his instructions and also took a moment to wave away Janus’ broken tea cup, then stood just inside the room, looking around. Theoretically, Roman understood that Janus must have had a room somewhere in the Subconscious. But he never expected to find himself standing in it.

It was markedly warmer here than in the icy hallway outside. In fact, if he didn’t know whose room it was, Roman might have even described it as cozy. An ornately carved four-poster bed served as the centerpiece of the room. It looked soft and inviting, draped in thick blankets in complementary shades of yellow and green and blue. When Janus laid Remus down on the bed, he muttered something near his ear, gesturing toward the ceiling directly above them.

Janus nodded, murmuring quietly, "I took it off... it blocked the view of your mural."

Roman looked up and saw that the ceiling was covered edge to edge in a fresco that looked like Michelangelo had studied under Jackson Pollock. Or perhaps the reverse. There were abstract swirls of greens and yellows, with a small smattering of blue dots added over the top, looking like cotton wood drifting through the air in the spring. The entire ceiling seemed to pulse with movement, as though the swirls of paint themselves were animated. The longer Roman stared, the more he could discern figures and shapes and feelings in the colors over their heads.

The ceiling mural wasn't the only art in Janus' room. There were also large, colorful photographs framed on one wall, and another wall by the door was nearly covered in gleaming, dark wooden shelves packed with small framed pictures and books of all kinds. Roman stepped a little closer, examining the spines, surprised to see a shelf devoted to volumes of Grimm’s, Perrault’s, and Andersen’s fairy tales.

Roman’s attention was drawn by the increasing volume of Remus and Janus' whispers. He heard a sharp, “Logan?” from Janus before he whipped around, staring at the Princely Side. “Logan helped you free Remus?”

Roman shuffled his feet. “Well, yes. Um, it, was actually his idea to do it tonight. He was in my room and I think he was spurred by the the creative impulse and—”

“But, wait he shouldn’t have re—” Janus’ voice cut off as he looked down at his hands, eyes widening. Roman followed his gaze and then turned his back, realizing for the first time that Janus wasn’t wearing his gloves. Roman heard Janus move toward his desk and, after a moment, he murmured, “Thank you, Roman. You can turn around.”

“Deceit, what's going on? I had to tell Logan that Remus was locked up in the Imagination.” A pained noise escaped Remus’ lips and Janus sat down again next to him, cupping his cheek and brushing away new tears from his face. “I can remember how angry Logan was when it first happened. How could he forget something like that? How could the Side responsible for Thomas’ memories have forgotten something like that?”

Janus shifted on the bed, “I don’t have a sssimple answer for you, Roman. Suffice it to say that we should celebrate Remus’ freedom and let sleeping dogs lay.” Janus stared at Roman, raising both eyebrows significantly. “Do you understand me?”

Roman could feel the subtle twitch in his hand as Janus tugged at his muting control. The message was clear. Roman would not bring this up again, whether by his own will, or by Janus’. Roman scowled, but he nodded.

Roman stepped a little closer to Janus’ bed. “You’re not going to send him back to the tower, are you, Deceit?”

Janus’s mouth fell open, “Of course not,” he hissed. Janus stroked Remus’ face and as he watched the gentleness of his caress, sudden understanding flooding through Roman’s heart.

“Oh… ” Roman’s knees wobbled and he sat down hard in Janus’ desk chair. “I thought Remus wanted to come back to you because you’re the only other Dark Side.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Oh, Ro Bro,” he sighed shakily. “Every word of what you just said is wrong.”

Janus chuckled, smiling down at Remus. “Thank you for bringing him back to me,” he said, turning to face Roman again. “Time can feel a little different in my room… You should get back before you're missed.” Janus brushed Remus’s hair from his face, “I’ll be right back, Muse, alright? Stay here.”

Remus nodded, closing his eyes. Janus stood, reaching a hand out to Roman. “Let’s get you back.”

“Can you wait just a minute?” Roman asked, eyes darting over to Remus nearly asleep on Janus’ bed. Janus bowed his head and stepped back. Roman knelt down, getting as close as he could to Remus. He brushed his fingers along Remus’ upper arm. “I’m glad it worked, Re. I’m sorry it took so long.” Roman scrubbed sudden tears away from his face.

Remus smiled at him. “You made it there eventually, Ro Bro, that’s what counts. Don’t worry, I’ll heal up and get you back later.”

He let out a watery laugh, “You better. You owe me one.” He leaned over and kissed Remus’ forehead. “Don’t worry, I punch you later, but it wouldn’t be very Princely of me to strike a man who can’t hit back.”

Remus laughed, “Just for that, I’ll punch you twice. See you in the Imagination, Ro Bro.”

“See you, Re.”

Roman stood and moved closer to Janus. “Okay, Deceit, lead the way.”

Janus smirked, taking Roman’s hand. “Here we go,” sinking out of his room and appearing in Roman’s.

“I don’t suppose I need to tell you, but of course you should—”

“Yeah, Deceit, I know." Roman sighed as he sat down on the edge of his bed. He saw that Logan must have tidied up the contents of the first aid kit he'd conjured to care for Remus. The enormity of their night pounded at his bones, sapping his strength. Roman suddenly felt exhausted. "I’ll pretend none of this ever happened.”

“Very good, thank you. Goodbye, Roman,” Janus murmured, sinking back down out of the room.

“Goodbye, Deceit,” Roman said as he disappeared.

---

Janus closed his eyes as he rose up again in his room, suddenly consumed by an irrational fear that this was all still some sort of illusion.

“Jannie…” Janus’ eyes shot open at the beautiful sound of Remus’ whisper. He rushed to the bed, fighting the impulse to throw himself into Remus’ arms, afraid of hurting him. Remus winked at him, though, listening, as always, to everyone's suppressed thoughts and desires. “Don’t worry, Jannie, when I’m fully mended, I won’t let you out of my arms.”

Removing his gloves for the second time that night, Janus carefully ran his hands through Remus’ hair, tapping as much of his conjuring abilities as he could to free him of the knots and drecht that had accumulated since he’d last seen him in the tower. Once that was done, he quickly went to his sink, wetting a washcloth in warm water for Remus’ face. While he was gone, Remus waved away his ruined clothes and awkwardly slid under the covers.

Turning back to his bed, Janus chuckled, shaking his head. Visibly exhausted from both the physical and creative expenditure of energies, Remus just sank back into Janus’ pillows, smiling weakly. Janus sat next him, gently wiping down his face, his neck, and his chest.

“That will do for now,” Janus murmured, turning down the lights and crawling into bed next Remus. “In the morning, you’ll take a real shower, Muse.”

“Hm, that actually sounds nice.” He sighed, turning to his side as Janus wrapped all of arms around him. “Jannie?” Remus’ voice cracked.

“Yes, Remus?” Janus propped himself up on one elbow, staring down in concern at the sudden seriousness in Remus' voice.

“Promise me something.” Remus' voice was so quiet, Janus could hardly hear him.

“Anything, Muse,” Janus carded the fingers of one hand through Remus’ hair, another hand gently rubbing circles on his chest.

“Promise me…” More tears fell down Remus’ face as he stared back into Janus’ mismatched eyes. “Promise me that if this is all a dream, I won’t ever wake up.”

Janus dried Remus' tears, pressing soft kisses in their wake. “If this is all a dream, Muse, I’m going to stay right here, dreaming together with you.”

Remus smiled and closed his eyes, and Janus could feel him relax into his arms. Janus pressed one more kiss against his head and smiled as he closed his eyes, feeling half of his heart was finally home again.

---

“It was a complete and utter disaster. Thomas is now even more entrenched in Patton’s you’re-evil-if-you-need-to-put-yourself-before-your-friends five-year-old level morality bullshit. You heard his closing message.” Remus nodded, humming quietly. “Not only are we not going to the callback, but we’re so firmly in the black and white we should live in fucking Hachetfield. And…” Janus threw his head back, groaning in frustration.

“And your plan for Logan backfired,” Remus murmured quietly. He was only ever quiet when Janus really needed him to be. When Janus' own intrusive thoughts started to spiral out of control.

Janus sighed heavily, burying his face in Remus’ chest as the ordinarily frenetic Side drew a soothing hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. “And my plan for Logan backfired,” he mumbled against Remus’ warm skin.

He turned his head, resting the snake side of his face against Remus’ shoulder, absorbing the warmth through his sensitive scales. “They knew it was me almost immediately… that says something positive, I suppose.”

“You literally showed up in the wrong tie and got his catchphrase wrong. How fucking stupid do they think you are?”

“I know, I know, that was the whole point. I could take a little bruising to my ego if it had worked.” He huffed and trailed circles on Remus’ skin. “They did their whole Scooby Villain unmasking but never summoned the real Logan! ” Janus shook his head. “Then, I dragged us all into a courtroom and still, no-one summoned Logan!. And then, then, then, then…”

Janus leapt out of bed, feeling molten anger bubbling in his stomach and an overwhelming need to move. Remus sat up in the center of the bed, crossing his legs and watching Janus pace back and forth, his head moving like he was watching a slow motion tennis match.

After a few laps around the room, Janus picked up the thread of his rant. “Then, when I shoved Logan to the back of the courtroom, no-one pulled him back in. He even asked, he practically begged to be allowed to participate and they just made excuses!”

Remus nodded. He’d watched the entire scene play out, but he knew Janus had to get this off his chest before they could start figuring out what to do next.

“And…” Janus sighed, sinking back down on the bed. “Even before then… That awful moment when he said…” Janus hung his head, anger fizzling away, leaving him only with the anguish. “When he said…”

“I don’t feel anything” “Oh, of course you don’t.”

Janus let out a long sigh, shoulders slumped. He let his head fall into his hands. “I wanted to jump over that damn table and just grab him so we could sink out of there together, come back here and find you—”

Janus laid back against the bed, flinging his arm over his eyes. Like a piñata blindfold.

Remus crawled over to him, and crossed his legs again. He carefully laid Janus’ head in his lap, stroking his hair. Janus was quiet for a little while, letting Remus’ fingertips rub away some of the tension he was drowning in. “How do I get them all to just open their eyes and see what’s right in front of them? Thomas isn’t ten anymore… There’s so much more—” Janus abruptly stopped talking, his mouth hanging open. He stared up at Remus.

“Oh, Jannie, I know that look.” Remus flipped onto his belly, bringing his face close to Janus’, grinning madly. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking about you, my Muse…” Janus drew a gentle hand through Remus’ hair, grinning at the fire in his eyes and the twitch in his mustache. “I’m thinking it’s time we rip off that blindfold.”

---

“So are you going to tell Logan what you’re planning? So he’ll know to just stand up to them and not let them just talk over him like they always do?”

They’d gone to the Imagination and were using Remus’ massive war room to sketch out their plan of attack. Or, rather, their plan of reveal. Janus sat back in one of Remus’ general’s chairs, steepling his fingers together, tapping them against his lips.

“Not quite…” Janus murmured, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Oh…” Remus bounced his knee, wiggling in his seat until getting up to sit on the armrest of Janus’ chair. “You’re gonna get him to help. Double deception…” Remus winked.

“Not deception, per se. I won’t have him…you know.” Janus waved his hand vaguely. He tapped his fingers again and smirked. “I’ll just get him to… loosen the reins.”

“Hmmm… delicious!” Remus shimmied his shoulders, grin broadening. “We’ll get to see the fiery nerd come out to play. I love it.” Remus stood up again and spun around, trying out different poses for when he first appeared. After a few minutes, he tilted his head far to one side, finally noticing that Janus had gone very quiet.

“There’s more, isn’t there?”

Janus sighed and sat forward in the ornate wooden chair. He stared at Remus’ grand throne across the room. “I’ve been thinking about Roman.”

“Now, far be it from me to kink shame a Side,” Remus stepped closer to Janus’ chair, waving his hands in front of him, a deep frown on his face, “but I’m not into—”

Janus held up his hand, “That’s not what I meant and—” he sighed when Remus threw his head back, cackling. “And you knew that. Of course you knew that. Alright, message received. I'll lighten up.” Remus sat on Janus’ lap, rested his hands on his shoulders, and kissed him until he felt the tension in his muscles start to melt.

Keeping his arms around Janus’ neck, he murmured, “You were saying, Snake Boi?”

“Roman.”

Remus nodded. “My brother's an idiot but he's not stupid. Roman's cautious. He saw with his own eyes what can happen when Creativity steps out of line.” Janus lifted Remus’ hand, gently kissing the scars on his wrists that even the Mindscape couldn’t completely erase.

Janus pulled Remus close, wrapping his arms around him and stroking his back. “I think that’s why he ruled the way he did. He’s afraid. He thinks that,” Janus shook his head, “He knows that their love can be conditional.”

Remus grinned, “But perhaps… perhaps the reminder of how ‘Good’ they’ve all got it with the Proper Princely Brother might help Roman shine in comparison.”

Janus sat back, tilting Remus’ chin to face him. He shook his head. “No. No, that’s not what I had in mind.” He smoothed his thumb over Remus’ mustache. “I was thinking that once Thomas accepts you, my Muse, Roman will see he won’t have to worry anymore.” Janus lifted Remus’ hand, cradling in with his own and gently kissed his palm. He traced his fingers down from Remus’ wrist to his fingertips. Janus met his eyes. “Once Roman sees that you are accepted and loved unconditionally, just as you are… then he’ll know that he will be, too.”

Remus shifted in Janus’ lap but nodded, pasting his toothy grin across his face. Janus pulled him into an uncharacteristically energetic hug as Remus looked to the side, “Sure, Jannie.”

Janus was too excited to taste the lie.

Remus bit his lip, staring at the floor, picturing rising up in Thomas' living room… Ro shouting out his battle cry, running him through with his sword, his blood pouring out around the blade… Patton crying and everyone ignoring and shouting over Logan before the light in his eyes finally extinguishes and he sinks out, never answering another summons again… Thomas and Virgil having panic attacks, telling Patton to bring Remus back to the tower... He squeezed his eyes shut, tears burning.

He turned to Janus. “Are we taking too big of a risk?”

Janus brushed the back of his fingers against Remus’ cheek. “That’s what makes this a perfect plan. If it works, the Light Side/Dark Side dichotomy will be crushed.” He pulled Remus closer for a kiss. “And if it ‘fails....’”

“If it fails, I play foil to the real heroes of the Light Side, Logan and Roman, just like we want.”

“Even a failure is a win.” Janus promised.

Smiling, Remus waved a hand, conjuring two large glasses of red wine. He handed one to Janus.

Janus raised his glass, “To your first day out of the Dark!”

Remus raised his glass in return, clinking Janus’ lightly. And my last day in the Light. Raising the glass to his mouth, he closed his eyes and drank the sweet wine, feeling the sting of the alcohol on his lips, his throat, and in his chest.

When they were finished, Janus set down their glasses on the floor next to his chair and he looked closely at Remus. Remus had started twisting his own fingers, carefully cracking his knuckles. If I press harder I could break the knuckles and they’d make that wet popping sound, maybe even leaving sharp bits to poke through the skin and—

“What do you really think about our plan, Muse?” Janus’ voice was gentle but he wouldn’t take his eyes off of Remus’ and his arms had tightened around his waist.

Remus took a deep breath and carefully removed Janus’ bowler hat, using the top of his chair as a hat rack. He met Janus’ eyes and let his fingers dance across his scales. Finally, he shrugged, unable to keep up his false optimism. “I think it all will depend on how much they hate me.”

Janus frowned and pulled Remus closer to him, touching their foreheads together. He shook his head slightly, “Oh, Muse, my muse, my love, no… No, it’s not hate. It’s fear.” Janus tilted his head, pressing soft kisses against Remus’ jaw. He shook his head again, “The same way I help them hide, you help show them the truth. And the truth can be terrifying.”

“But what if… what if—” Remus held his breath, squeezing his eyes shut.

He’s in the tower again, this time with chains so short he’s forced to sit on the rough wooden floor. His knees are drawn up to his chest and he’s wrapped his arms around them, head hung low, forehead touching his kneecaps. The puddle has grown and the murky, mucky water laps at his toes with every drip from the ceiling. The dripping has gotten faster now, too, a new fat drop of fetid water falling down, splashing the floor, the walls, and him after every breath. Patton tugs at the shackles on his left wrist, poking his finger at the edge of the cuff, trying to fit his fingertip between the metal and Remus’ skin. The cuffs are tight enough that he can barely fit the tip of his pinkie.

“Duke, you really scared Virgil.” He tutts, shaking his head as he inspects the shackle on his left wrist. “You should know better than that.” Satisfied that the left cuff was as tight as the right, Patton moves on to his right foot. He tugs at the chain, looking expectantly at Remus. Remus silently extends his leg to make it easier for Patton to reach his foot without getting wet in the puddle. “We need to keep Thomas safe and if Virgil isn’t feeling safe, then Thomas isn’t feeling safe.” Patton tilts his head at Remus. “You understand that, don’t you? This is all for Thomas.”

Patton stands, brushing the dirt and cobwebs and bits of moss off his pants, rubbing his hands together and shaking them out. “Now, Janus won’t be coming to visit. Not after breaking you out early last time. We can’t take that risk. Roman may come see you on his birthday, if he wishes. If he doesn’t, then, well, you understand why not, right? You can’t expect to attack your brother and then be surprised when he doesn’t want to see you.”

Patton moves to the heavy door, tugging it open with his surprising strength. He steps out into the brightly lit corridor, the cheerful light from the torches lining the walls dancing against the dingy floor of his room. His room. “You can come out when you’re Good. Until then—”

“Muse!” Janus’ voice broke through Remus’ vision. Remus blinked, looking around, feeling Janus’ hands gripping his arms instead of the cold shackles, Janus’ warm lap instead of the dirty floor. Janus kissed away the tears trailing down his face. “You are never going back there.”

Remus looked down at Janus’ hands. When had he taken off his gloves again?

“Remus, look at me,” Janus whispered. He brought both ungloved hands to either side of Remus’ face. “You are never going back to that tower. You are going to introduce yourself to Thomas. You are going to rip off that blindfold and show them all what you—and Thomas—are capable of.”

“And if he doesn’t ever accept me?” Remus could barely whisper what he was most afraid of.