#dudeblog

i truly believe the only thing that can cure me is to go to the forest and the woods but something terrifies me from asking my parents to. i was asked what i wanted for a grad present monthsss ago and thought it would be mean to say "to get away from you for 2 weeks and go travel far fucking away" and now idk how to plan it.

if i could afford to live alone, i feel like life would be simpler. it'd be a smaller space with just my shit to worry abt.

i think abt my future with a fantasy of moving further and further away from my parents, but i overheard them mentioning how afraid they were of retiring and getting old for fear of me not taking care of them. it just reminded me im prolly never getting away. at least it also reminded me at some point they wont have power over me.

i also have a fantasy of getting rid of all their things when they die.