#drunken singing

sasha stuck her tongue out, eating the maraschino cherries off of the sword pick topping her drink.

"hey have you guys heard the song this side of paradise by coyote theory?" conny asked, still standing in his seat more than he was sitting in it.

"what? no. what is that?" jean asked, staring at him through squinted eyes, still holding back a snicker from before. "wait, no, no no no. if that is a sad song do not even think about starting."

"what?! why not?! it's a good- it's a good song! you are such an asshole, jean!" conny whined, shoving the shot glass at jean as if it was filled with liquid and would soak horseface. alas, his wish had not come true.

"how the hell does even you know that song?" sasha asked, rolling her eyes at the confused expressions she got from both the boys. "you know what i meant, don't give me that!"

"no. no i actually have no clue what you meant by that." conny responded, his voice flat, staring at sasha, eyes glazed over, like she had three heads. he swayed ever so slightly back and forth in his seat, dancing badly to a tune playing in his dazed head.

"oh, you-" sasha's face reddened further, though her anger was quickly washed away when the pretzels in front of the group were refilled, immediately taking the bowl for herself to eat. "why on earth would you listen to that? is what i was trying to say."

"okay," jean swallowed the rest of his drink. "yeah, no, completely agree. why, uh..."

"dude shut up. Shut up." conny whined, sitting back down in his seat.

"y'know a better song?" jean began, a cheeky grin splitting his face.

"ohhh no. no, no, no no no-"

"keep up the pace, don't let yourselves lose the count for a second!" jean belted out, the alcohol making his voice slur and crack as he sang at the top of his lungs.

"oooh! i love this one!" sasha gushed, dropping the pick on the napkin. "remember which end the bullets come out of, and the other- less important- lessons!" she sang along, laughing through the words. the discordant ensemble drew the attention of other customers, and a disappointed chuckle from the bartender across the building.

conny groaned loudly, but still had an amused smile pressed into the shape of a frown. "i said i'd follow you through anything, hell or high water-"

"which is convenient now! that most days spent beside you are just hell!" sasha rolled her tongue, the three holding up their drinks, glasses clinking against each other in the air. sasha and jean continued to sing, keeping the beat by hitting their fists against the glazed deep oak counter. conny stood back up on the footrest of the bar stools.

"armin! hey, hey, armin! come on, join us!" he shouted, pointing at the blondie sitting at the edge of the counter, a book in front of him and a shirley temple beside that.

he looked up at conny with wide eyes and obvious concern about the strange singing happening a few feet away. "oh. uhm, thanks, conny, but i'm not part of this." armin gave him a smile, which did nothing to hide his worry.

"oh my gosh you are so boring!" conny shot back, standing up, disappearing behind jean and sasha as they swayed back and forth, keeping the song going, completely off-tempo and off-key. he made his way to armin, closing the book. "you know this song. sing along! it's just a song!"

"conny-!" armin sighed. "no, i am, uhm, not into singing in public-" he didn't finish his sentence, immediately being pulled by conny to the rest of the group. he rejoined the drunken choir, mumbling along until he could understand where they were in the song.

"don' lie, we'll be dead and gone before you know it so when i die, just shift the numbers up once more, replace me-"

"just smile, what are we without humor in horror~?" sasha honeyed the words, waving her glass in the air before downing the remainder of the drink, humming along in broken patches as the others continued to sing.

armin sang along flatly, quietly, hiding his face from the other bar patrons peering at the circus show. his face was red and burning, and not at all from the alcohol.

"all'a your guns, all'a your calls, the bad ones most of all! they define you, they're the lowest standard we can strive to!" jean sang passionately to make up for the missing sasha, grasping conny's shoulder and swaying back and forth with him, even as conny tried to push him off.

"fucking- dickhead, get- off!" he grunted, exclaiming in exasperation, a sound quickly followed by a hiccup.

forgetting parts of the song, jean and conny mumbled along to the tune for a moment, before sasha started back up and they followed suit. "don't stop, if life catches up we'll surely meet our deaths!" conny cheered, high-fiving sasha across jean.

"no rhyme or reason, are you sure we aren't chaos? our laughter keeps the dread from out of earshot!" they somehow managed to get louder, armin singing at the same steady pace and volume, laughing as if they had won a battle.

"one two, one two, one two, one two," conny kept beat as the others continued the outro, slamming his open palms intermittently on the oak table. armin opted to join conny instead of the loud muppets beside him.

"keep the count of the soldier's song, as everything that can goes wrong," rising in volume, sasha and jean built up to the last two lines, and conny lowered his voice until it was barely audible.

"though our path isn't always right, there's not a thing we can't overcome with spite!"

sasha, jean, and conny cheered and shouted loudly as they rounded off the song, crashing their glasses together, laughing discordantly along with one another. armin didn't join them. not only because he didn't have a glass, but just because... they were like a sideshow act. if levi had seen them, they were as good as dead. there was still ample time for their luck to run out, though.

"better than that whatever-song you were talkin' about!" jean chortled, taking a long drink from the mug, the foam sticking to his upper lip like a bad mustache.

"i hate you all. very much." armin muttered, his face in his hands, praying that no one would recognize him. "can i please just get back to my book? i already have to drive you guys home. i don't want a headache when i do."

"arminn!" sasha whined. "you are so mean..!"

"dude! no, c'mon, stay! your book can wait! we have sooo many other songs!"

***

Hat Kid landed in the forest in front of the giant tree that housed one of Snatcher’s reading spots. A good spot to land because he was often there and uh… he was there too this time somewhere. She didn’t see him right away but she sure did hear him.

“Let it go, let it gooooo. Can’t hold it back anymoooore.” He was singing loudly. Which was odd to say the least but made it easy to find him, she just had to follow his singing off the path and to the left. And there he was, his upper half draped over a low hanging tree limb, his tail lying limply on the ground. He was belting his heart out and holding a bottle that looked suspiciously like a bottle of wine which explained some things. Though who would’ve thought ghosts could get drunk.

“Let it go, let it goooo,” he sung what was presumably the chorus again. His singing voice was surprisingly quite nice. “Turn away and slam the dooooor. I don’t care what they’re going to…” He cut off as he finally seemed to spot her. “Hey kid,” he said with a slight hiccup. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to say ‘hi’,” she replied with a smile. “What song are you singing? I like it.”

“Well you shouldn’t.” His expression grew angry as he took a drink from the bottle. “It’s an awful song, I hate it so much. That whole movie is awful kid, you wouldn’t even believe how bad it is. They’re making a sequel too! I hope that awful ice bitch dies in it, I hate her so pecking much, she’s the worst.” He took another drink. “I guess Anna isn’t that bad though. … But Olaf needs to die in a pecking fire. The only actual good character in the whole stupid movie is the damn moose and that’s because he doesn’t say anything.”

This was a movie Hat Kid was going to have to find sometime later. “If you hate the song and the movie it came from so much why are you singing it?”

“Because I can’t get it out of my damn head. When that stupid movie first came out everyone was singing it all the time everywhere and it was the worst. They wouldn’t stop kid, they just kept doing it. They kept wondering into my forest, singing or humming that damn song. There was no escaping it no matter how hard I tried. It was honestly the worst few months of my entire existence as a ghost.” Which didn’t explain why he was singing it now since that the way he spoke of it, that was clearly in the past. “I hate it.”

Maybe it was wrong of Hat Kid to find Snatcher’s state of inebriation so funny but she couldn’t help it. She never would’ve thought she’d see him of all people so very drunk. “Maybe try singing a song you do like to get that one out of your head?”

“Huh? … You might actually have a point for once kid. How come I never thought of that?” Because he was clearly too drunk to think straight. If he remembered this tomorrow, he was going to be very unhappy, though he’d probably try to pretend it never happened. “What song should I sing?”

“Uh I don’t know, how about one from a movie you do like.”

“Hmmm…” As he thought he took another drink and vanished the bottle before summoning another. Hat Kid should maybe try to cut him off or at least tell him he’d had enough but he was a ghost. He couldn’t die of alcohol poisoning or throw up – she didn’t think so at least – and he didn’t have a body he had to worry about damaging so he’d be fine. So if he wanted to drink another bottle after this one she’d tell him to stop, insist on it, but for now she wanted to enjoy this, get to know him a bit better… and get more fodder to tease him with later.

“heh. hey, boss?” Red nudged Edge’s side, getting him to crack open his sockets. His eyelights were a little hazed at this point, and his features were relaxed and open for once. Convincing him to drink with them had been difficult, but so worth it. It wasn’t often Edge let himself relax, and Sans was honestly delighted to see him like this. No Papyrus should ever carry themselves like the weight of the world was borne on their shoulders.

“What is it, runt?” His voice was just slightly slurred, and the accent he tried so hard to conceal was starting to peek through. Sans took another swig of ketchup to hide his smile. They’d have to do this more often, if it could get the Fell monsters to relax. Even Slim seemed calmer than usual. Then, surprisingly, Red started to hum. Edge’s eyelights flared and he grinned, leaning back with his sockets closed. Sans and Stretch exchanged a look, their sockets growing wide as Edge started singing.

Not loudly, not at first. But he was definitely singing. “~They call her the Wild Rose~,” he rumbled, his voice rough and low. It sent a wave of heat down Sans’ spine, and he scooted forward in his seat, mouth (heh) bone dry. “~But her name was Eliza Day~ ~Why they call her that I do not know-oh~ ~For her name was Eliza Day~”

Edge cracked open his sockets, catching Red’s gaze. Red joined him, both of them singing, “~On the first day I saw her I knew she was the one~” Red’s voice was deeper, but just as rough. The combination sent shivers down Sans’ spine. Their voices were haunting—gritty and even a little harsh. Pleasant, though. Very pleasant. “~For her lips were the color of the roses~ ~They grew down the river all bloody and wild~”

Sans turned to Stretch, ready to make some quiet comment, but then he caught sight of Slim, and all he could do was grip Stretch’s jacket sleeve and clench his jaw, unwilling to disturb the other skeleton. Slim’s eyelights, usually dim or faded, were blazing a brilliant purple, and for once, he looked alert and attentive. Red paused briefly to say to him, “cripes, bro. c’mon; ya know this one, doncha?” Slim blushed, but he didn’t shrink in on himself. Instead, he squirmed a little and leaned forward, one hand shoved into the other sleeve.

Edge just kept singing, but he glanced at Slim, his expression open and inviting. “~I said, ‘Do you know where the roses grow~ ~So sweet and scarlet and free?~’”

Slim swallowed visibly, then joined the two of them on the chorus. “~They call her the Wild Rose~” His voice was clear but scratchy, singing an octave higher that the Fell brothers. Shit. Sans and Stretch exchanged a look, not wanting to do anything that might disrupt whatever magic had caused the spontaneous concert. Though, honestly, Sans was more than a little surprised.

“~On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow~ ~And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief~”

Not that he had been expecting this—at all. But if he would have guessed, he wouldn’t have thought they’d choose a love song, of all things. “~As I kissed her goodbye, I said ‘All beauty must die’~ ~And lent down and planted a rose ‘tween her teeth~”

Wait. Wait. Did that—? He and Stretch exchanged another wide-eyed look while the Fell-verse monsters finished off the chorus.

“~They called her the Wild Rose~ ~But her name was Eliza Day.~”

The Fell monsters fell briefly silent, then they grinned and started chuckling. As if the song was funny, somehow. Then Red launched into another one. “~When all that you’ve held sacred~ ~Falls down and does not mend~ ~Just remember that death is not the end~” The other two picked it up quickly, but Sans and Stretch remained almost painfully silent, just listening as the Fell monsters actually grew louder as the song continued on. 

“~When the cities are on fire~ ~With the burning flesh of men~ When you search in vain to find~ ~Some law-abiding citizen~ ~Just remember that death is not the end~”

What. The. Fuck.

Sans was suddenly immensely grateful that Papyrus and Blue had already gone to bed. This seemed like the beginning of a very interesting night.