#drogbar

Sharpen's mom: Why are you shirtless at the kitchen table? Are you shirtless all the time in that shiny dessert-themed guild of yours?

Sharpen: Yes, Mom. *chops vegetables*

Mom: And covered in glitter! You'd better wash up properly before supper.

Sharpen: Yes, Mom.

Sharpen's dad: How's your pet wolf Cuda doing, son? You feeding him properly?

Sharpen: Yes, Dad.

Dad: No doubt he gets enough exercise, following you and Matthias Shaw around on those secret SI-7 missions.

Mom: We're not supposed to talk about those!

Dad: Anything gruesome happen on your last mission, Sharpen?

Sharpen: Yes, Dad.

Dad: You wrestled a shark the last time! Any bad guys die on this one?

Sharpen: Yes, Dad.

Mom: Now boys! I don't like talk about killing while we're making dinner. This is family time. Dad makes the meal, Sharpen makes the salad, I set the table. We do not talk about death and craziness.

Sharpen: And what do all five of my sisters do? Nothing!

Mom: Nevermind them. You're my favorite little bean sprout. You do nice things around the house for Mom. *she pats his green hair* By the way Sharpen, have you met anyone nice, lately?

Sharpen: On my last mission. I guess.

Dad: Oh??

Mom: Finally!

Sharpen: ...

Dad: Hold on. Is that the guy you killed.

Sharpen: Well, we were sort of together first.

Mom: That's horrible! Wait, what do you mean 'sort of together?'

Dad: Don't ask those kinds of things...

Sharpen: It's not a big deal, Mom. We just ya know, hooked up. But then he turned on me and I had to harpoon him at the last minute.

Mom: Harpoon! What kind of nice man do you need to harpoon--

Dad: I wouldn't ask him anymore questions.

Mom: Where was this? What the heck was going on! What have you been getting into, Sharpen Raorin Jadescythe?!

Sharpen: Mom, please don't worry yourself like that. It was alright, Clayton was just a... well, a Drogbar. It's a lot to take down someone that big.

Dad: Don't ask him any more. Please, let the boy have some privacy.

Mom: Drogbar. What's a drogbar? What were you doing with a drogbar??

Sharpen: ... ...

Sharpen: They are a large race, they live underground. They have rock pets, snack on the occasional crystal. They aren't the monsters people say they are. Drogbar are strong, some are very noble, and surprisingly sensitive. Clayton happened to be a lying arsehole, that's all.

Dad: What the...

Mom: Monsters? My son is a monster-f***er??!! *traumatized*

Sharpen: Aaah! Don't call it that! I can't believe my own mother knows that word! *double traumatized*

Dad: That's a thing???? *triple traumatized*

Mom: Who or what do I pray to? To get my son saved from this depravity?

Dad: Well don't pray to Elune. Who knows what Sharpen'll do to her if she swings by the house.

Sharpen: DAD! Oh my goddess!!

LOCATION: “Stonecrown Cavern”

ZONE: Highmountain

NPCS: None

SETTING SIZE: Large

ACCESSIBILITY: Legion content

CAVEATS: None

“We will never forget the great deeds you have done in service of out people... until we do.”