#driving hacks

Long post warning. useful tidbits for my new and or uncertain drivers to make your driving life easier if it’s seeming overwhelming. The things they don’t put in the drivers manual.

ENGAGE IN YOUR DRIVING be 100% in the moment and do not under any circumstances text and drive ever ever ever ever I DONT CARE how good you think you are at multitasking, driving is already multitasking, focus on those tasks. you’re not really doing it RIGHT if you think driving is a single task, you’re not paying attention to something important. Driving takes your full brain. Jason bourne doens’t text and drive in the middle of a car chase because he’s WAY too busy driving like a B.A. Hands on wheel, eyes on road, scan the surroundings. 

In the same vein, use your periphreal vision correctly. Don’t focus on the bumper of the car in front of you. you can look way further ahead. Your peripheral vision picks up motion more sensitively, so if the car in front slows down a bit, you’ll know it instantly. scanning ahead helps you to be prepared and respond quicker

The middle lane is your best friend. Always default to the middle lane. You have more options to pass slow cars. Insane people can pass you. Just be a rock in the stream, let them all do whatever they want. 

When you hit heavy traffic (by heavy traffic, i don’t mean “golly there’s a lot of cars on this road, but we’re all basically going the speed limit” I mean the kind of traffic where you wonder if you’ve stumbled into a parking lot) The slow lane is usually the fastest. If you see a big red line on the road on your GPS up ahead, get into the slow lane. 

The above only applies if you can get into the slow lane before you’ve all stopped dead. Once you’re in the middle of dead traffic, the rule of thumb is stay in your lane. I don’t care that the other lanes look like they are going faster. In 12 seconds your lane is going to be going faster because a bunch of fools are going to change lanes and bog down the other lanes. Half the reason the traffic is even happening is because no one is staying in their bloody lane

Do NOT DRIVE IN THE SHOULDER I don’t care how late you are or how bad traffic is, unless someone is straight up dying in your vehicle and you’re flying the the ER, keep your butt out of that breakdown lane. Someone’s going to shoot your impatient self and then how late are you gonna be, huh? Road rage is real. Do not be the reason.

The saw mill river parkway has traffic lights. Oddly specific I know but just....know it because yikes

GET AN EZPASS. Even if you don’t use it for commuting it will save you money. Some states have a yearly fee, but *tada* *throws glitter* you don’t have to buy one from the state you live in! You can choose which one has the best features for you (discounts for certain roads, no yearly fees, whatev) and it’s like a prepaid card. You just load it and it will deduct as you use it. YOU DO NOT WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY END UP IN AN EZPASS LANE WITHOUT AN EZPASS it’s a 260 dollar fine, yo. And the tollbooth operators are wicked snotty about it, if you have social anxiety you are going to be torn to shreds by it they are hardcore nasty. And some of those toll booths are craptastically confusing it’s so easy to get in the wrong one. GET AN EZ PASS they really are easy. 

If you slept though the last bullet point or decided that it somehow didn’t apply to you (you’re wrong), always, ALWAYS carry cash. That little “avoid tolls” checkbox on your GPS? Its a useless piece of crap. Can’t tell you how many times I chose that option and an hour later whoopsssss, i’m in a tollbooth with no cash and tollbooths don’t take cards BTW. So there goes another ticket. and a fine. plus interest on your toll. CARRY CASH

On the subject of GPS idiocracy, if your driving up or down the east coast of the US, your GPS is going to try to send you through manhattan FOR THE LOVE OF PEET DONT DO IT Don’t give me crap about how it says it’s the fastest route or that it’s 3am so certainly there’s no traffic there is allways traffic in new york RECALCULATE my friend it will save you at minimum 45 minutes, at best 4 or 5 hours. 

For that matter, just don’t trust your GPS. It’s an awesome tool but it tends to fail at the worst possible time, send you off an exit into a dark abandoned part of south philly where there’s a minimum of two drug deals going down on the train tracks you just drove over and you’re running red lights because you don’t dare stop and you’re half hoping you get pulled over and get escorted the heck out of here but the police don’t even come over here. Always have a map and a general idea where you’re going, the route and exit numbers and such. Only takes a minute to scratch em on a napkin and not have to stumble upon a mob hit somewhere . just have them written down as a backup. you might not need them, but when you do, you REAAALY DO

Do not hit a moose. Like, hit anything else to avoid hitting a moose. Moosecrash =death

Know the dimensions of your car. Way more than just the standard paralel parking practice with the cones. Like practice that on boths sides of your car, slalom between the cones until you can do it up to 30mph forward and backward, KNOW where all the corners of your car are. Practice with those cones until you know it in your sleep. Do this every time you get a new car too. Practice it until if feels stupid practicing it. Then keep practicing it. You’ll be happy when you try to pass someone and you don’t rip your side mirror off on a guardrail. Don’t be that guy. 

5 Ways to Keep Calm Behind the Wheel

We all have experienced it. You are going to or coming from work, running a couple minutes late and everything is going well until you hit the dreaded traffic jam. You wait and wait in the traffic jam constantly asking yourself, “why does this always seem to happen to me,” and angrily making faces.

Here are 5 Ways to Keep Calm Behind the Wheel:

1. Give yourself plenty of time when you are #drivi…