#drivehood

It happened on a sunny day in the middle of April. The LA streets were bustling with people, and everyone seemed happy. The sun shining down, and the occasional laughter sounding from the masses. You sat at the table outside a café reading a book. Or at least trying to. You were tired. His words kept you up until the early hours of the morning. Ringing in your head, like an echo that never stopped responding. You distractedly starred out on the street, where a young boy was walking a golden retriever, much like the calm dog resting in the shade under your table. The boy had bright hazel eyes, and blonde, curly hair hanging down in his eyes, probably in need of a haircut soon. His parents walking a couple of feet behind him, always keeping an eye on the boy and his dog, while keeping a light- hearted conversation it seemed. The lady laughing, and the hazel eyed man having an adoring smile on his lips. It made you feel a pang of jealousy. In some world that it might have been you walking with him by your side and laughter filling your little bubble.

Suddenly the air was clogging up in your throat as they passed. A waft of the man’s cologne coming your way. It becomes all too much. He is too similar. So much a like the man you once loved. The man you still love. Hurriedly placing a five- dollar bill under the cup of half drunken beverage, you almost snap the book shut and get up. Untying the leash, keeping Kira from running off, you stuff the book in your backpack, and walk off in the opposite direction to the little family. Rushing back to the place you parked the car. You throw the hood of your sweater over the top of your head, to keep people from seeing your red rimmed eyes, threatening to spill over with tears.

Suddenly you hit something hard. And unmistakably human. Before you can even begin the get ready for the ground, an arm is quickly wrapped around your waist steadying you. Opening your eyes, nothing could have prepared you for what your eyes found. The one and only Ashton Irwin. Heartbreaker number one. His brows furrowed in confusion as he looked down at you.

“Ashton”

Six letters, two single syllables. Sounds easy enough. But you had not been able to speak them in three months. Not that you wanted to either. And now he was standing here. Right in front of you. Looking as good as ever. You sniffled.

“Hey, are you okay?”

He spoke, hands going up to cup your cheeks carefully. His warm eyes seeking yours in an instant. You felt you heart sink somewhere far down in your stomach. Why did he have to be so caring, regardless of what had happened. For months you had that question sprung on you, but none of them seemed sincere. ‘How are you’ Like they just wanted to hear you talk gossip and shit talk him, but you could not bring yourself to do it. So you just bottled it up, and now everything seemed to come crashing down.

“Not really, no”

It came tumbling out of your mouth along with the first tear, before you could think twice. He tugged you into his warm embrace, and god how you had missed him and his hugs. He had your arms pinned to your side, and Kira sniffing curiously on his leg.

“Shit”

You heard him whisper to himself. So you looked up, and saw all the prying eyes, and clicking of blitzes. Instantly your head started racing with all the possible headlines that would break your heart even more.

“Let’s get out of here”

The trip to his car happened in a daze, and although Kira seemed hesitant to get in the car, it was like she understood what was happening. Yet, obediently she laid down on the floor of the car, in front of your feet.

——-

After tying the golden dog to the storm drain, and providing her with a bowl of water, you ventured inside the grand house. Finding Ashton in the kitchen was something you prolonged, but it had to be done.

“What’s going on?”

His voice soft and full of concern. It seemed too good to be true. And it probably was.

“I’m not quite sure.”

“Come on you know you can talk to me.”

“Can I?”

The words came out colder than you intended. But it was the truth nonetheless.

“Of course you can”

Confusion yet again laced in his lightly accented voice.

“It’s just, I saw this little family passing by. And they looked so much like we used to do. I mean when we brought my cousin with us for walks, I just feel like this wasn’t how it was supposed to be with us. We weren’t supposed to end so badly-

You stopped pacing to look at his reaction,  nothing but sadness met you, maybe a little bit of regret and guilt.

“… but then you just-“

“Hey, you don’t get to put this on me”

Ashton cut you off all of a sudden, his voice lacking the control he constantly obtained.

“I just what?!”

Just a few times had Ashton seemed this upset and frustrated.

“You took all your frustration and anger out on me, just like you are doing right now”

He looked taken aback. No one had ever called him out on anything like that, ever.

You knew as much.

“You know what, maybe that’s true, but you weren’t a saint either.”

“I know, and I never claimed to be.”

“This is the reason I couldn’t love you like that-“

Suddenly everything stopped. Everything stopped moving for just a second. You let the words sink into your brain as he kept on rambling on about something you couldn’t hear.

Then a phone started ringing. He didn’t just break your heart. It felt like he had broken your entire chest. Just taken a mallet to your chest cavity. Ashton’s phone on the countertop light up as a name flashed across the screen ‘My Love’ it said.

“Oh for fucks sake, of course”

You muttered to yourself. Then it clicked. Why he had seemed guilty. He had already moved on, while you were hung up on him like a lost puppy. He had already moved on, already getting by. You didn’t see Ashton looking at the phone, and you didn’t see the pain that flashed in his eyes as he quickly shut up.

“I’m just going to leave now. This is pointless anyways.”

He stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen as you hurriedly left the room. Making your way to the door, you felt the hot tears streaming down your face. Pulling the sleeves of your hoodie down you wipe the tears away. Then slamming the door shut, you lean against it.

“What did that door ever do to you?”

A rough voice said, making you open your eyes. There in all his smoking glory, stood Calum. Then as if seeing you for the first time, he butted the cigarette in an ashtray, and came rushing to you from his place besides Kira.

Suddenly a crashing noise came from inside the house.

“Let’s get you out of here”

“I need… Um, Kira, can you untie her?”

The dog came to your side and quickly jumped up with her paws on your chest. It brought a slight smile to your chapped lips.

“She can come in the car don’t worry”

fading mehendi + @external-internals ‘s hoodie

aw thank you. you’re the best ily

this is such an honor ty ily