#driftingmcses

@driftingmcses wanted a starter from Mattias for Ryshina

Starter for @driftingmcses

Got It In You

If he had a heart that worked, it probably would have stopped.

The little quiver in her voice, the way she was curled up in the corner of the studio, the helpless expression that haunted her features as she gazed up at him...

He had worked it out through context clues. The atmosphere in the Molina household had seemed to grow darker as the weeks passed, more and more words left unsaid through silent gazes. Julie had grown quieter too. Sure, she would still mess around with the rest of them as they hung out together and rehearsed, but the sparkle in her eyes was growing dim, and it terrified him.

Ray and Carlos were decorating the Christmas tree with bright multi-coloured baubles, and Alex and Reggie were excitedly living vicariously through them, which left the studio free for Luke to hide out in for a while. All this Christmas talk was bumming him out.

Then he found her. 

Sitting down beside her, he laid out his hand, focusing his mind on making sure it stayed solid for long enough. Then, he slowly interlaced his fingers with hers.

The walls of the apartment surrounding Bucky may as well have been a prison. Every night went the same way; he would eventually give into exhaustion and fall asleep on the wooden floor. Then, his mind would replay memories of the winter soldier causing him to wake up screaming. His chest rising and falling rapidly as the lines between the past and the present turned into a confusing blur. Occasionally, he would say his own name over and over just to remind himself of the fact he belonged to himself and not to a group of people willing to use him at any moment. Tonight had been one of those nights.

Bucky glanced down at his watch which read: 2:30am. He swallowed thickly before forcing himself to stand up. He couldn't handle being in here alone anymore. After getting dressed, he slipped into his jacket and put his gloves on before tucking his dog tags away under his shirt. With a sigh, he grabbed his keys and notepad before heading out the door. Since returning to New York, he had gotten closer to Melina. She was one of the few people he trusted enough to go to whenever he was like this. He struggled between wanting to be close with her and with wanting to stay away from her due to her empathic gift. With all of the turmoil seemingly always present within Bucky's emotions, he was sometimes fearful of her feeling too much because of him. He didn't want her to feel an ounce of any pain he felt.

After walking around the city for half an hour, Bucky finally made his way up the stairs to Mel's apartment. He had a moment of hesitation as he approached her door. Was it too late? Would he cause her to feel negative emotions? For a second, he considered going back home, but he needed her. Even if he was reluctant to admit it. With some apprehension and caution, he knocked on her door.

Bucky HATED that feeling. He could swear he had seen this girl before, but he couldn’t remember. Even if he was free from Hydra now, even if he could start trying to be himself, it seemed like his memories could never fully come back to him; he remembered the ugly parts, such as some murders he had made, but he still felt like there was a huge whole inside his mind, and he hated it.

  --- It was the last thing he was expecting after making the drive to Cambridge. What he was expecting was a nice day out and exploring a different part of England he had yet to see before, but not this. 

Walking down the street, Hades had taken in the sights Cambridge had to offer. Quaint town, many older buildings dotting the area along with a few more modern ones in between. Not nearly as bustling as London, but it had its own buzz going on within it, and it surprisingly made the King of the Underworld smile. 

Until he came across the flower shop. He slowed to look at the flowers outside, only to look up and see a young woman tending to flowers on the inside. It was then he realized whom he was looking at and his heart began to beat rapidly in his chest. Brown orbs gazed upon her soft features, the way she smiled at each flower she tended to and her eyes lighting up in appreciation for them. 

...Persephone...

She was the only woman that ever had this effect on him. To see her here on Earth, only an hour away from where he was no less, was nothing short of shocking. And yet, it was comforting all the same. 

     The clinic visit had been quick enough. Ben glanced at the prescription in his hand and rattled the bottle slightly. It felt normal enough. He supposed nothing had changed. He stuffed it into his pocket and turned the corner, only to find that the woman in front of him was from said clinic.

He stopped himself from running into her. She was far shorter than him and if he walked into her, there was no doubt in his mind she’d be on the ground. Although, she looked like she was going in a similar direction as him.

          weird was a relative term but it also pretty accurately described the way his life since emerging from the ice seventy years in the future.  he’d argued with gods and fought aliens that had descended down from the heavens.  if he still believed in a god those instances would’ve made him seriously question his faith.  lucky for him he’d already had that conversation with himself when he was a teenager.

          natasha had called him a ghost story; the man who’d hunted down nick fury and shot him in the middle of the street.  the winter soldier.  now their director was locked away in surgery, barely holding on to life.  in a matter of seconds his life had been turned upside down.  even moreso than he thought possible.  steve felt lost.  he had no idea who he could trust and who he couldn’t.  granted, asking wasn’t the best way to get the answer but, somehow, he didn’t think melina would ever lie to him.  someone who internalized the emotions of everyone else in the room should have a hard time with that.  right?  not that steve could ever profess to know how that felt.