#dreadless

I have many thoughts on the subject as it comes to manipulation but in this post i will mostly be talking about physical manipulation. 

This had been a constant thought on my mind as of late due to the change in my physical appearance. I have recently chopped off the dreads that so recently made my image almost an icon for me. This was my determining asset. People would define me as “Tim, the guy who has dreads” or so i have heard. Now that i don’t have the dread i only can imagine it had turned into, “Tim, the guy who used to have dreads” This has been a very interesting identity shift. While i am so glad to not have the weight, i think there are a few things that i will miss about them. As i was so graciously informed by the movie 17 Again, my dreads served as a “peacock”. For those unaware, it served as 1. an attention getter, and 2. icebreaker. Those two things led me to creating conversation easily and quickly with whomever i met. This was so great for my extraversion. I was so glad people felt free enough to talk to me openly by commenting on or complimenting them. Without them, i feel like there is less to break the ice and now i have to work on other things to help embark the friendship other than the life choice of dreads. 

This has been an interesting journey for me. It took me also a couple days to get used to my own appearance in the mirror. I thought i was looking at another version of someone like me. There was a moment where i realized i did not recognize my own shadow and in a Peter Pan-like moment i did the hand up/hand down mime. The more i looked and the more i felt my own hair i became more used to it and now i have come to the realization about my life. Dreads aren’t me. And i do not mean that in a “I AM MORE THAN A GUY WITH DREADS; SEE ME!”-kinda way but more like, “That doesn’t seem right...”-kinda way. I don’t do things that people would commonly assume dreaded people do or like. (Assumption shall be another post for another day) Reggae. Bob Marley. Rasafarianism. Weed. Lazyness. I have even had at least one friends’ parents worried that their child is spending time with me. This close friend knows me better than most but even after meeting his parents with dreads, the parents demeanor changed after meeting me without dreads. It is not something i can change. i am still, obviously, the same person i was with dreads. But hopefully they will come to realize that they may have judged me too quickly. 

Well after saying i am the same person i was before the lopping off of dreads, i realize i am somewhat different. This difference though is something that i feel was a part of me that i was hiding and suppressing while i had dreads. I am not sure why or how it happened but i am sure that i am seeing it better now. For one, my clothing style has not changed one iota, but people are more complementary on my clothing. This has been comforting in a way. Now i know that my style has been obscured by my dreads but now i am able to have my clothing be highlighted in my appearance now. i often take pride in how i dress myself and now that effort is being noticed more. I am sad that my dreads took from that effort but i am glad they were often complimented on.