Belligerently Optimistic || Closed
Bianca stared at the letter in her hand. She obviously had noticed Ozzy’s lack of appearance but she didn’t even realize that he’d left. The proof of that fact now solid in her hand, a letter full of reasons and too many uses of ‘had’ and other indicators of past tense. It’s like he had written her off already, pushing her to the sidelines before she had a say in it. If he knew anything about her from their time as friends, it should be that she was steadfast and wouldn’t take that easily. She would be his friend through thick and thin. That was that. It angered her that all she got was a letter of explanation and no dialogue of goodbye, but she wasn’t going to harpoon him for leaving. He had obviously been just bogged down with a sort of depression, one that she desperately tried to help from time to time but couldn’t break. It was heartbreaking. It hurt to see him leave. But she wouldn’t let him disappear. Putting the letter down next to her on the bed, she picked up her notebook and readied herself for a response.
Ozzy,
I’m not sure if you thought that writing a letter meant that this conversation was over, because it most certainly does not. I have a ton of things that I want to say to you that you thought you might have a chance to avoid. You were sorely mistaken. As my best friend, you really should have known better. I’m not going to let you leave my life with a simple piece of paper. You kept using past tense like this was how the friendship was over without letting me have any say. That’s not right, it’s not right – I won’t let it be right. I’m mad at you. I’m sad that you left. But mostly I’m confused. Did you talk to Tink before you left? You didn’t talk to me, but I’m hoping you talked to her. After everything, you owed her an eloquent speech that she could follow up with a smack to the face because I’m most certain she won’t have taken this well. You’ve left us behind, Ozzy – even if that wasn’t your intention.
You’ve left me behind.
Whenever my life was the most confusing I know I could have turned to you in a beat and you would have helped me talk it through. You were there for me in my darkest time, and I was there for you when you had your fight with cancer. I think these, among others, are the things that have bonded us for life. So whether you think it or not, just because you wrote a letter that seemed like you were depleting the friendship we have – you’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m your friend no matter what, even when I’m angry with you. No matter how far away, no matter how feeble the attempt to push me away, I’m not giving up. From your explanation, I can tell that you need me right now. Even though I’m here at school and you’re all the way in Miami, I’m going to be there for you. You know my number, you know my e-mail, you probably don’t know how to send a pigeon but I’m guessing you could learn. I’m available to you in every way.
Don’t you dare think about disappearing on me.
You’re my best friend. I love you and I care about you. You need to be home, and I understand. I won’t let you forget the people here who care. I’ll keep an eye on Tink. I’ll keep safe. But you need to promise me something in return. You take care of yourself. Don’t get lost. I’m far away but I’m not unattainable as an anchor. I will not lose you, Ozzy. I will not let you forget.
Your best friend, Bianca
Satisfied with her letter, she quickly stuffed it into an envelope and addressed it - somewhere in the back of her mind, the speed of her actions made sense. Like it would arrive to him faster or that there was some sort of time limit on making him listen. Dashing out to the mailbox, she let it fall into the blue container before she let go of the breath she didn't realize she was holding. Tears slipped from her eyes for the loss of her friend, but she knew for a fact she'd see him again. She'd hear from him again. The prospect of him being gone was what made her sad, the idea of traversing the campus without him there in the immediate vicinity. She wouldn't see his smiling face, but in her mind's eye she could picture it so clearly. Her memories would keep her happy and strong. She'd need to be. Tink would need her as a pillar, and she was prepared to be just that.
She would be alright.
