Peter Pan syndrome and downshifting.
Hobbes said that "a flawed man is a child who has gained power."
Narcissism, egocentrism, infantilism, and even the so-called psychopathic character are developmental defects if the person is an adult and normal developmental stages for a child and adolescent.
Many of the things that we admire in children look scary in adults.
At the same time, there are things in children that it is desirable to preserve forever. What the plasticity of the psyche, creativity and the ability to grow actively are based on: curiosity, ease, spontaneity, openness to new experiences and an uncluttered view of the world.
Thus, here is the difficult task of separating the wheat from the tares: useful childlike qualities from harmful infantilism. It is not easy for everyone to understand what in an adult is desirable "childishness" and what is undesirable egocentrism.
That's Peter Pan, for example. He combines beautiful qualities with unbearable ones. He is a universal idol and an eternal problem for people who love him. Sergei Mikhalkov has a fairy tale "The Feast of Disobedience", where the adults left the city to give the children long-awaited freedom, and the city for a while turned into a plague feast, where dinners consisted of ice cream and chocolate, and there were no rules in the games.
The difference between an infantile person and an adult is that the former has no support within himself and therefore tries to rely on something outside, to shift responsibility for his well-being to others. It can be rationalized in many different ways, and it is always rationalized. A problem that we do not want to solve is always hidden in a dressed-up wrapper to avoid stress. Such a wrapper for infantilism can be, for example, religiosity, and under the guise of this trust in the manna of heaven and the finger of God. Mature religiosity emphasizes man's responsibility and duty to God. Infantile religiosity, on the contrary, focuses on the denial of one's own will under the guise of humility before the will of God, that is, in essence, on God's duty to take care of man. Sometimes infantilism is rationalized as political activism. Such people like to accuse others of infantilization and "passive life stance". In reality, the political aspirations of activists often have only one goal: to change the bad Parent into a good one, to take away the parental rights of the former, and to place the responsibility for their lives on the latter.
Downshifting is often a rationalization of infantilism. This phenomenon, as nowhere else, mixes positive and negative traits of Peter Pan. On the one hand, there is a thirst for adventure, exploratory activity, refusal to blindly submit to the will of others and rejection of routine. These are important qualities worthy of all admiration and imitation. On the other hand, the positive aspects of downshifting often hide the negative ones, and the former are often just a wrapper for the latter. The "thirst for adventure" is wrapped up in an inability to bear responsibility for one's life and a readiness to "surrender to the will of fate" as in children's romantic stories. Such "readiness" is truly infantile, because "surrendering to the will of fate" a person is not ready to accept any difficulties from this will, but expects that this very "fate" will be a caring mother to him, as Wendy is to Peter. If the will of fate suddenly turns out to be evil or indifferent, such an adventurer starts to roar loudly and break toys. Under the "research activity" often hides an inability to work. Very many people imagine themselves creative individuals only on the basis that they do not like monotonous hard work. As a rule, this attribute indicates the opposite, because creativity includes monotonous work too.
In this regard, I would like to recall two passages from the articles of two great psychologists, Carl Jung and Gordon Allport. The former wrote that when Westerners try to imitate Easterners, escape from society, try to "take energy from nature" and meditate, waiting for development, they miss an important point. What is "earth" to a person formed in one culture and nourishes their muladhara chakra is different from what nourishes a person in another culture. What does this mean? The land nourishes the pagan because he knows how to work the land, he gets a harvest from it, he gets recognition and respect from his tribesmen for the harvest, and this is his main material support - resource. For the Western man, this "land" is society and the opportunity to work for money, receiving recognition and forming a reputation. This is his main support. If a Westerner wants to get energy from the land and nature, he should become a farmer, reorganize his life, learn to work on the land. If he is a vacationing tourist looking for eternal holiday and entertainment, he will take his energy from the same society as his fellows. That is, from his bank account, if he has managed to earn money, or to beg from his parents and friends, if he has not managed to earn money. In the latter case, he will be scolded and shamed, and then he will take out all his childish offenses in a childish way - with scolding and fists.
Allport wrote that Western psychology should pay attention to the stages of personality development in the Indian tradition: 1) the search for pleasure 2) the search for security 3) the search for respect 4) the search for service 5) the search for freedom. It is very important to note here that the search for freedom can be only after the full formation of the stage of service, when a person wants and can take care of others without expecting anything in return. The stage of service in turn can be only after the stage of respect, when a person has already been able to receive respect and recognition, not before. If after the stage 1) search for pleasure - immediately begins stage 5) search for freedom, because at stage 2) search for security - began slippage, we get extreme insecurity and violence. And a feast during the plague.
