#downerpost

It’s January 11, 2017. I have not posted for almost three months. Being busy with work is the lamest excuse I can ever come up with, so I won’t be giving any excuse right now.

I still am working at night, graveyard shifts. My schedule is a pain in the ass since I have to wake up around twelve thirty midnight or if I feel lazy, I sleep in until one o’clock in the morning. I go to work, my shift starts at three, I have my lunch at around six or seven in the morning and I leave work as early as I can, around twelve thirty in the afternoon. I eat “dinner” and lounge for a bit, play some mobile games or watch stupid, entertaining youtube videos. Yup, very mundane. A cycle that keeps on repeating itself.

Still single. Nothing new here. I maybe a certified forever alone member, diamond member!

Still fat. I literally ate back all the weight I lost in the span of a month. I may have been eating carelessly because of the holidays.

I still am trying to make little to zero contact with humans whom I don’t like at all. Yes, that bitch of a girlfriend my friend has.

Oh yeah! I just lost my trust with people last week so I’m starting with zero trust with anyone right now. I seriously have bad trust issues right now that all I want to do is stay home in the comfort of my room, in front of my computer and stay away from work. Yup, this is work related.

I’m not stressed, I’m disappointed with myself because somehow, I allowed myself to be in this fucking situation. I may not last three more months in our company because fuck everyone. No one noticed how good my stats were before, now my stats are inconsistent, they try to fix me. I’m not broken, my trust with them is. I can never trust whatever they say no matter how good they sugar coat that damn thing. I can never give my word to them because they already did that but they did not stay with it.

Words are easy to say but trust isn’t something you can regain back so easily one you break your words.

Sorry for the long, downer post.