#dots rambles

art takes so long and its so tiring but if i dont make art for the rest of my life ill die

i’ve been desperately trying to finish reading this fmab fic i started that is still updating but i literally cannot bring myself to genuinely care about any fandom other than atla atm like if you asked me to start a new tv series i’d say no because atla is still running thru my head and i need to get it out of my system first and god knows when that’ll happen ✨

queening out the next four years they can’t change what I am nor how annoying I can be about it

NEVER take an art and animation nerd to see the spiderverse movies they WILL go insane and talk throughout the whole movie about the style variations the camera work the blend of mediums the color grading the framing the references to past movies the ueegrgrrrghhhh

one thing they don’t tell you about doing graphic design is that you need to know after effects. and even if you don’t like animation or want to be an animator you will have to do it anyway. every day I find myself thinking wow. thank god i know after effects. id be so lost. Yes of course i can make you an animation even tho we never talked about it before you’re lucky i know after effects. i close my eyes and see the key frame menu. I am about to use after effects to save my 3d modeling project. me: 🧟 after effects: 🧚🏼

and what’s fucking crazy is that even tho antidepressants help a lot, taking vitamins and eating healthy help a lot, I am 100% serious when I say the number one most important thing I did for my mental AND physical health was going on T. it helped me gain weight again. it made me like myself and my body. it made me more confident out in public. it made me more comfortable with my sexuality. for the first time in years I didn’t have the thought that I would never “fit.”

only been on T a few weeks and it’s a low dose so no changes yet but every day I put the cream on I get so giddy knowing that it’s gonna change my face, my hair, my body, my voice, like I’m so excited to see what changes come first and how fast!!!!!!!