#dory brainrots

He ends up going to Phil whos probably some captured doctor from somewhere theyve taken over and he asks him for some stuff thatll hurt people.

Mainly so if it ever gets back to him Phil's an easy scapegoat but also because most the conquering happened before he was born so Phil's probably more mad at the others who took active part than him.

Phils originally a bit hesitent but he also wants to kill the people who kinda sorta ruined his entire life so he goes ahead and starts supplying Wil with shit to make people sick.

Wil poisons himself a little as well to try and cover it up more but maybe at one point he takes it a step too far and one of his family members actually dies. While yeah this is kinda what he wanted he is also a young kid (maybe like 15?) so naturally he freaks out.

He ends up going to Phil about it to shout at him but Phil pulls a switcharoo and convinces Wil that he might as well just start outright poisoning the others as well now since that way it can be covered up as an illness / genetic thing.

Wil being a child just fucking accepts this and starts poisoning the rest of his family.

It works but theres like, an entire power vacuum now and he's a child king on running an empire that was already showing signs of crumbling. Revolts break out, famine hits and it all goes to absolute shit.

Wil goes running back to Phil after a failed assassination attempt almost gets him and begs for some kind of solution. This is where I'm thinking Phil maybe reveals that he's been worshipping death (and therefore praying on literally everyones downfall lmao) and offers him a solution.

Its a fast acting, painless poison that'll let Wil take an easy way out rather than facing the mob of commoners that are trying to break into the castle. The guards are wayyy too occupied to deal with Phil murdering the king so its an easy escape for both of them.

Wils backed into a corner so he accepts the offer and drinks it.

What he doesnt know is that Phil and Kristin have both taken a liking to such a bloodthirsty little prince. Its not the first time Phils been captured like this in the thousands of years he's been alive and its certainly not the first poison he's ever made.

I'm thinking he works kinda like a tumour for whatever kingdom hosts him. He's a herald of death so, by the royals trapping him as a show of power, he's slowly poisoned their empire and now its all crumbling again.

But he likes Wil because Wils a crafty little guy and he gives him a poison that'll just make him look dead and bind him to Kristin in case he ever tries to get away.

Have a sketch I decided to colour! Don't look too hard on the perspective I will have to kill you if you do so.

Its kinda part of some brainrot I've had lately? Its basically skrunkly vamp hunter Techno tries kill Phil but it just ends up in him saying "awww cute! my baby now :)"

It leads to a lot of Techno trying to stake Phil and him finding it cute and sending pics like this to the coven groupchat.

Wil and Techno are out that night so he's not too scared and he just lets her sleep on his couch until she recovers a little. She's ofc very scary when she actually becomes concious but is ultimately thankful and decides she owes a favour to this totally not cute dude who saved her.

Maybe some pining where she keeps bringing him things under the guise of 'fufilling her debt' and then eventually meets twinduo.

Theyre ofc very very protective of Phil but they're also kinda picking up on the pining starting to begin so they just remain cautious. At some point Kristin and Phil have a moment together and he decides that he wants to actually pursue her.

Honestly I think this AU would just be 80% fluff and only 20% dark. Kristin probably goes out and does crime with twinsduo, watching as her possible stepsons grow into prominent villains while she keeps them nice and safe.

Bonding with your fucked up possible stepsons by helping them steal and murder is very normal and shockingly effective when you're already a villain doing the same shit.

I'm thinking Phil is also vaguely aware of this as he'd have some link to heroes maybe but Phil corrupting himself for his family is one of the best tropes of all times and I've decided that happens now.

Also eventually Tommy comes into play where hes maybe some up and coming hero apprentice shadowing Phil to learn a bit more and (obviously) he ends up getting yoinked.

At night he's fighting a villainous trio and by day he's hanging out with retired(?) hero Phil and his cool as fuck family.

He kinda ends up just curating his team that way. Keeps the ones he likes, kills the ones that don’t mesh well.

Thinking really specifically about him just… lying about Wil being his kid. That’s not his baby. He’s not seen that man in his life. Wil just got the mailing address wrong in all the letters and now Phil’s like ‘guess this is my kid now. He certainly seems to think so.’

I just really like the idea of Phil doing a big reveal that the guy he just fucking came out of nowhere and killed was Wilbur. And that this is his son. Meanwhile Techno just staring at him because despite being immortal besties, he really can never tell with him.

He takes at least 3 breaks every shift. He’ll say he’s doing something and then never ever do it and claim that he got confused because he’s new. He doesn’t put stuff on shelves according to date ever.

He leaves those giant stock pallets just in the middle of where everyone walks and doesn’t move it. If something drops off the shelf and breaks he leaves the area so that someone else finds it and has to clean it up.

He’s terrible at customer service, doesn’t even try to be nice or smile. He just stares at them and makes it obvious that he doesn’t wanna be working.

He talks shit about customers to other customers. Within hearing range and everything. There are so many complaints about him. Since he’s got hired the stores rating has gone down like 1.5 stars.

He’s super good at just kinda looking busy so most of the managers think that he’s a semi ok worker but Phil knows he’s awful. Tech knows too but he kinda just lets it slide since Wils nice to him and it’s a manager issue, not a Techno issue.

The only time he ever really does work is if he’s paired / near techno and can use it as an excuse to distract him or if Phil’s his manager that shift and he’s trying in vain to convince him that he actually works.