#dorm rules

These were so much fun that I had to do more. As always, credit to @artzychic27 and @imsparky2002!

Buff Squad™️, If you are going to do a group flexing session, please make sure your partners are somewhere they can land softly if they swoon. Seriously, Simon almost got a concussion last time.

Related to the above, taking pictures of or openly expressing interest in the Buff Squad™️ is discouraged. (Their partners may have reputations as ‘nice’, but they will MAIM you.)

When Jean is performing and asks for requests, submitting the name of an opera is not funny. It’s inconsiderate and rude.

Stop trying to toast marshmallows over Lacey’s head while she’s sleeping! At the very least it’s unsanitary.

Unless you have the clearance for using it medically or for anxiety reasons, stop asking Mylene to grow you Weed.

Also, unless you want to deal with a VERY angry yeti, stop jumping out to scare her with hedge clippers/Weed eaters/pesticide sprayers etc.

If you draw out your ‘s’es when you talk to make fun of Alix, she WILL punt you. (Same with Austin A)

As funny as it was, Nino, assigning everyone theme songs to play when they walked in the dorm was unnecessary.

Please be mindful not to step on Chloe and Zoe’s scarabs. Seriously, those are like their children.

Yes, Cosette has participated in rodeos in the past. No, they don’t want to talk about it.

Ivan, Simon, Max, and Jean would like to request that people stop making fun of their accents.

Whoever switched Ondine’s moisturizer out with tartar sauce will PAY.

For the love of all that’s holy, STOP stealing Austin T’s scythe! If you touch the blade, you DIE.

Whoever changed the theme music on Alya’s blog to ‘Ghostbusters’: Not. Cool.

Look, just because that's her screen name in the group chat doesn't mean Kagami will grant you a wish if you throw seven balls at her. Stop it.

If you need Kim’s attention, go up and tap him. Any and all dog whistles will be broken by Ondine, along with your spine.

Not everyone appreciates puns based on their monster species.

Whoever thought it was funny to chase Reshma with a vacuum cleaner, Ismael would like to inform you that that mask won’t protect you forever.

no small animals, this includes frogs, snails, and anything similar are permitted inside. even if you claim to have domesticated them (hye)

please replace the toilet paper

try to wear pants as often as you can

mj is not permitted to wash the dishes, he’s already shattered at least 9 plates and 14 glasses

vacuum the rug after eating dry cereal in the living room

instant noodles are not an acceptable lunch every day, jane

for the sake of everyone’s sleep schedule, don’t make any loud noises (this includes banging on the piano) after 11pm

don’t knock over the houseplants

if anything glass is shattered, the maknaes are not allowed within a five meter radius, min, eri, or milo will clean it

all fortnite dances are banned, no exceptions

yelling “420 BLAZE IT” at 4:20 am or pm is no longer permitted, especially in the morning, we need sleep jihoon

beth needs to stop kicking jane from the bottom bunk

same goes with jihoon to milo

PLEASE dust, min is allergic to dust do you want her to go to the hospital

eri is instructed to go to bed last because her snoring will keep everyone up otherwise

stop calling the cat that likes to hang around outside “queenie” and screaming “YAAASSS” whenever she kills a bug

pots are for cooking, they are not acceptable helmets

english speakers, don’t teach milo and mj english through vine references

hye is no longer permitted to do anyone’s hair, especially if it involves heat

jane isn’t allowed to pick english names for the other members

and jane for the love of god stop calling mj “gary” it’s not a good name

beth keep your makeup out of reach of jihoon

discussion of who loves the fans more is no longer permitted, it turns into very violent arguments

under no circumstances should any of the maknae line be allowed to cook

Parent: Well, they gave you a kitchen in the dorm, so why wouldn't they allow chef knives? What do they expect you to do? You're only using it for cooking.

I.         Holes before poles

(Self-Explanatory)

II.        Thou shall mop and clean the c.r. after every use

(Mop and clean the C.R. after using)

III.       Clean thy own fucking plates and utensils

(Kanya-kanyang hugas bitchez)

IV.      Inform thy roommates of incoming pillagers-visitors

(Roommate is responsible for their visitors, thus informing other roommates)

V.     Thou shall mop once a week*

(Mop the shitty Living room, ROTATIONAL)

VI.    Thy expenses regarding resources such as valuable water and nutritious rice*

(Buy rice and water, ROTATIONAL)

VII.   Lock thy doors unless booty calls

(I-lock ang pinto! Nak ng puta)

VIII.  Rubbish be disposed once a week

(We don’t live in a dump site, so keep shit clean)

IX.   Clean thy fan

(Self-Explanatory)

X.    Masturbation/sexy time be kept to thyself

­(Dude, srsly. Kahit pare-parehong tayong lalaki shit must still be kept to thyself)

  By: 

John Gaebriel “Campus cutie” Ramirez                                                             Judd Andrew “How ‘bout no” Ada