#dorian writes

but he couldn’t say yes in good faith. the farmhouse in the swiss countryside was beautiful, but he’d never be able to call it home. lewis wasn’t a settler, he couldn’t stay in one place very long, not without things changing ever so often. sebastian knew that. 

from an objective standpoint their lives were too different. rejecting the marriage proposal now and breaking things off now would save them money on marriage counseling and divorce lawyers later on, it was only practical. 

he ignores the fact that the ring in the box looked like norbert’s, ignores how much effort it must’ve been, or the fact that seb’s parents must be waiting for good news that would never come. he certainly doesn’t think about the way a single syllable had stolen the hope from behind seb’s eyes. 

“oh,” 

he wishes that seb had been angry, frustrated- anything other than the heartbreak and disappointment written clearly across his face. 

“well that’s embarrassing.” he says, getting up off the ground. the barely there smile doesn’t reach his eyes. 

the best lewis can manage is a whispered, “sorry, man.” before walking off. 

seb doesn’t run after him. it wouldn’t have made any difference, it would’ve just made them both look even more pathetic. 

the first call he gets is from mick. lewis doesn’t think that he’s ever heard him so angry. 

“you broke his fucking heart.”

he can imagine it. he can also imagine mick mending seb’s heart, putting patches over the bits that he’d clawed off when he tore it to tatters. 

There was a 2.000 word limitation for each story, so I needed to cut all the classical melodies descriptions short. I imagined that during the concert the singer would start with some lyrics at first, and then the orchestra would join him.

The first chapter of «Nec Deus Intersit» is dedicated to the memory of Klaus Nomi. I also added special thanks for the inspiration and gratitude to Jakub Józef Orliński. You may guess that these two personas and their voices are interwoven in the image of the fictional singer. I’ve wanted to pay tribute to the talents of both of them for a long time.

Klaus Nomi is noted to have a very tragic story and a huge talent. I'd love to think that in a world of the Arcana he would be perceived as a magnificent mysterious man, just like he was in his real life. I believe his talent was beloved even by such a demanding and old creature with an excellent taste in arts as Valdemar.

N.B.: I'm absolutely sure that Valdemar is completely charmed by the music. There is a mention of them singing as they leave the Dungeons in the Julian’s route.

If you'd like to learn more about Klaus Nomi's recordings and learn his story, you can visit his official channel or watch the documentary «The Nomi Song» (2004) by Andrew Horn.

Jakub Józef Orliński (Polish opera singer, countertenor) amazes with his vocal skills. Just like Klaus Nomi, he has a strong part of drama in his singing. You can find his official YouTube channel here.

***

And now let’s have a look at the music mentioned in the scenes, in the order of its appearance.

N.B.: I believe that Julian (looking to the Heartsong festival as a canon) with all his love for the opera wouldn't be able to stay untouched by this music.

Vivaldi: Il Giustino, RV 717, Act 1: "Vedrò con mio diletto" (Anastasis)

In my humble opinion, this particular performance of this Vivaldi’s aria is truly unsurpassed. Jakub Józef Orliński has a really strong emotional voice, and even if you are not familiar with the Italian language, there would be no language barrier at all. This is what I call a fabulous drama.

Vivaldi: Le quattro stagioni, Concerto No. 4 in F minor, Op. 8, RV 297, "Winter" (L'inverno): Allegro non molto

The second piece is «Allegro non molto» from Vivaldi’s group of violin concertos «Four seasons». Surely it has been performed numerous times before, but my heart belongs to Anne-Sophie Mutter due to her energy and agility. In her version you can feel all the expressiveness Vivaldi put into his work. In my perception of the «Nec Deus Intersit» story this masterpiece should sound just like that.

Henry Purcell: King Arthur, Act 3, Scene 2. "What Power Art Thou?" (The Cold Song)

Let’s have a look at the piece that sounded after the intermission and that excited Julian so much.

It's «The Cold Song» from the semi-opera «King Arthur» by Henry Purcell. The Cold Genius sings this aria when his eternal peace is disturbed by Cupid.

It was Klaus Nomi who made this song — originally performed by basso voices — so popular with the countertenors. Countertenors, in my humble opinion, added more drama to this song. Moreover, it made it possible to rethink the image of the Cold incarnation itself — instead of the ancient elder, as it was in the opera, there is an ancient, immortal and sexless being who rejects this world and prefers eternal sleep in the ice.

Here you can find a revolutionary performance by Klaus Nomi (particularly dramatic if you know his story).

And here is a performance by Jakub Józef Orliński.

Hasse: Oratorio Sacro in Due Parti: Sanctus Petrus et Sancta Maria Magdalena. "Mea tormenta, properate"

Furthermore, in the next chapter Valdemar mentions the aria «Mea tormenta, properate» from the oratorio "Sanctus Petrus et Sancta Maria Magdalena" by Johann Adolph Hasse. Here again — a performance by Jakub Józef Orliński.

Valdemar pointed out that the message of this aria suits Julian perfectly. This is not accidental, if you have a look at the text:

Mea tormenta, properate,

Ubi sunt flagella et caedes, ubi sunt flagella et caedes?

Crucem quaero, crucem date

Volo mori, o Deus in te, volo mori, o Deus in te, o Deus in te…

(Translation)

My torments, hurry,

Where are the scourges and their lacerating teeth?

I want to be crucified, crucify me,

I want to die; oh God, in you I want to die.

How would the entire concert sound? Every time I imagine it a little bit differently, especially if I hear the perfect (in my humble opinion) performance of some classical pieces. The concert may include "Adagio from concerto №3 in D minor, BWV 974" and "Sarabande" by George Frederick Handel, "From beyond" and "Death" by Klaus Nomi, "Music for a while" by Henry Purcell. But the works mentioned above are quite special and essential to this story. It was the music which was the main source of inspiration in some ways. So, if someone decides to listen to them, most likely, they will not regret.

I still pay my respects to Klaus Nomi and Jakub Józef Orliński.

➼ He wouldn’t intervene when someone else is talking to you; even though he’s starting to turn green from all the jealousy, he won’t walk up to you. The archer scratches his arms, bites his thumb, paces around in nervousness until you stroll up to him, rolling your eyes and complaining about people not getting a hint. Daryl doesn’t want you to feel like he doubts your loyalty, even for a second. He trusts you, but he doesn’t trust them.

➼ If he sees that someone is making you uncomfortable or laying their hands where they don’t belong. In that case, he’ll step in and show them what happens when they don’t understand the word ‘no.’ Even though he knows that you’re capable of breaking their fingers in a matter of a few seconds, he doesn’t want you to have to deal with it. He craves to always be there for you, to scare off the assholes that annoy you, to take you in his arms and show you that you’re safe by his side and you don’t have to do this alone.

➼ Jealous Daryl often also means grumpy Daryl with his cute frown and scrunched-up eyebrows. If you want him to feel better, you have to take him somewhere where you’d be alone and show him that he has nothing to worry about. You love sitting in his lap and kissing the wrinkles on his forehead away, admiring his beautiful smile, and giggling at how little it took to bring the good mood back to his person.

➼ Reassuring Daryl can be hard sometimes, but mostly he doesn’t need you to assure him with words, and little actions are enough. Kissing his nose or cheek when you pass him on your way, grasping his hand in yours for a short second. That’s all you need to do to make his insecurities go away for a little while.

➼ Catching him staring daggers at someone who clearly likes you more than they should isn’t unusual, but yet again, the archer wouldn’t admit to it. If looks could kill, he would already be a serial killer, and he feels guilty about it sometimes.

➼ Confronting Daryl when you see the jealousy crawl into him is not a good idea. If you tried to talk about it, he’d start fidgeting and get defensive. The archer doesn’t want you to think that he doesn’t trust you, and he’s also a little bit embarrassed (not that he’d ever admit it). If you’d look close enough, you’d notice the blush that crawled its way onto his stubbled cheeks.

➼ If you tease him about his jealousy, he’d either get angry or start blushing; it mostly depends on his mood and how you point it out. It doesn’t take long to get him to forgive you, though. He loves you too much to stay mad at you.

“Someone’s getting a little green,” you said, bumping Daryl’s hip with yours and sending him a sly grin.

“I’m not jealous. I already told ya,” the archer defended himself, avoiding meeting your eyes at all costs.

“Oh, really?” You raised your eyebrow, looking closely at the pink color spreading through his cheeks and the tips of his ears. You leaned even closer to him, your lips grazing his jaw and making him shiver. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I took the watch shift with Natasha? Just the two of us. Alone.”

The archer tensed at your words, and his body went completely rigid at the idea of you spending time with the beautiful and smart woman. She was a thousand times better than him. You deserved someone as amazing as Natasha. Someone that wasn’t as closed off and insecure all the time as him.

“Maybe ya should,” Daryl grounded out, slapping your hand off his arm harshly. When you winced at the action, he almost blurted out an apology, but he caught himself in the last second.

The archer didn’t mean to be so harsh. God, deep down, he knew that you were just teasing him, but he was so exhausted that he couldn’t help but get defensive. If he was there, Merle’d laugh right in his face and tell him he’s acting like a little bitch.

“Hey, it was just a joke, D.” You caught his hand in yours when he tried to step away. Daryl shook his head but didn’t move; he looked at your intertwined fingers in silence, the blush on his cheeks redder than before. You stared at him intently, trying to decipher if he was listening to you or having a battle in his own mind. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” You pulled the archer closer, raising your intertwined hands to leave a tender kiss on his knuckles.

“Naw, it’s fine,” he mumbled out, still refusing to meet your gaze.

“I love you and only you, okay? No one can come between us.” You drew him into your arms, letting him hide his face in the crook of your neck.

“My fault. Shouldn’t act like a li’ bitch ’bout it,” he grumbled out into your neck, his warm breath washing over your skin delightfully.

“You’re adorable when you’re jealous, you know?” Your sweet giggle made him smile and let out a quiet chuckle that vibrated through his body.

“Shut up.”