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As always, it boils down to this: I miss you. You do not come. There is little more to be said on the matter until you decide how much you value my presence in your life.
this is probably my favorite thing i've ever drawn <3 takes place between DAI and Trespasser. WIP shots and the full letter text below the cut, but be warned for spoilers if you're reading my fic better left unsaid!
I had a lot of fun figuring out what Dorian would keep on his vanity back home in Tevinter. The little bird in the corner is referenced from a real world peacock-shaped kohl pot, which felt almost too good to be true lol.
On the right is a little halla carved for him by Renan, plus a locket with a picture of him inside.
Some WIP shots:
Aaand the full letter text:
Dorian —
Would you rather I had filled the page with platitudes? Begged you to reconsider? It is as simple as this: I miss you terribly. You know this already, yet you do not come. At this point, I know nothing I write will change this, so I am done pleading for you to act as my lover rather than my penpal.
I remember a rare warm morning in Halamshiral, after that wretched ball. I remember the reticence with which you greeted me, how tidily you kept your hands to your pockets despite how you'd clung to me on the balcony. I remember your fears: people will talk, you said. Orlesian nobles are terrible gossips, you said. My reputation was at stake, you said, no matter how I argued.
I am realizing, now, that it was your own reputation you sought to protect — you grip it tighter than you ever did my hand. I should have seen it sooner, with you maintaining the professional facade even after I'd sacrificed my name for you, with your abrupt departure, with you forbidding me from Tevinter.
But there is no use to these thoughts anymore. As always, it boils down to this: I miss you. You do not come. There is little more to be said on the matter until you decide how much you value my presence in your life.
There is a deadline for this appraisal. The Inquisition has been summoned once again to Halamshiral for an Exalted Council to decide our fate: subsumed into Orlais, or disbanded entirely. As I write this, we are preparing the caravan for the journey; the whole wretched affair should be over within a matter of weeks. It should not surprise you that I intend to disband the Inquisition. I assume you will have questions about this. You will have an opportunity to ask them.
When the matter is settled, I will be visiting you in Minrathous. I have a rather important proposal for you — an idea that might allow us to see one another more regularly, even with your reluctance to travel. I would prefer to have the conversation in person, even if only for the excuse to touch the hand that pens these letters, irritating as they may often be.
A small part of me wishes to apologize for trodding over the line you've drawn between us, but the majority has resolved to ignore it. I am visiting you, and I am not asking permission. I cannot stomach another "no".
I will write when I return to Skyhold with my estimated date of arrival. I would appreciate if you could prepare a guest room for me, though depending on the results of your appraisal, an inn will suffice.
Despite my tone, the heart of the matter remains unchanged: I love you. I miss you. And I will see you soon.
Yours still,
Renan
Dorian has to get something off his chest from the travel back in time at Redcliffe, and the Inquisitor isn't prepared. Leliana discovers she is up next.
Written for @dorianweek with the First Impressions prompt as a bit of a play on it with the time travel quest.
Kofi commissions are also open, check my profile ☕
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A little ficlet for @dorianweek! "Confessions and Understandings" was the prompt for Day 1, and here is a scene some years after Veilguard between two husbands, Dorian and Dionysios.
Pairing: Dorian Pavus/Inquisitor Trevelyan
Rating: G
Summary: Dionysios observes his husband Dorian Pavus preparing to deliver a lecture on the Fade research. He is excited, happy, and unaware of how much Dionysios did to ensure the Archon has a breath of fresh air in his unrelenting work.
AO3 link or read below.
'Can you imagine, amatus, there's a work on reverberation of the Fade energy in thin-Veiled areas! And the papers by the Dalish researchers give a whole new perspective we didn't even acknowledge ten years ago. And, oh, amatus, you'll like that one: a paper, co-authored by the dreamer, claiming to talk to Solas himself about the Veil. If only I could meet him…'
'If you meet Solas, you'll punch him, even in the Fade,' Dionysios chuckled, leaning on the marble table encrusted with intertwined black snakes, now all but covered with books and journals. The spacious Archon's office was turned into a study with stacks of books and pages with diagrams occupying every available space. Right in front of the former Inquisitor, behind the huge ebony desk, sat Dorian with ink on his fingers and a spark of joy in his eyes. Several months before those eyes had been lacklustre, the room filled with treatises and reports, and Dionysios nearly gave all hope of seeing his husband full of life again.
'How dare you think I'd be so crude!' the mock offence didn't make Dorian's smile less broad. 'We'd have a civilised discussion about the construction of the Veil.'
'Or he'd end up bruised not only from the dragon,' the former Inquisitor came closer to the desk. 'How are the preparations going?'
'Splendidly,' Archon Pavus absentmindedly smeared ink on his chin, but didn't seem to notice it, 'but I'm afraid I'll need to use time magic to read everything I require to be ready. You must understand, it would be a disaster if I couldn't answer some apprentice's question.' Dionysios shook his head and laughed. 'Truly, though, I'm so glad First Enchanter Lavinius came up with this idea. I feel as if I'm young again.'
'I'm happy to hear it, but you're still not old,' Dionysios took his husband's chin in his magical prosthesis and wiped the ink with the handkerchief, 'and you could thank a certain southern mage for nudging that conceited prick into inviting you to deliver a lecture about the Fade.' Dorian frowned, not saying a word. 'Here's my special ability to render you speechless.' The former Inquisitor kissed the slightly parted lips. The kiss was gentle and soft, and they parted smiling.
'Why…' the other man leaned back in his chair, 'why would you do this? It must have been difficult, that scholar is exceptionally petty.'
'That was my last chance, love,' Dionysios sighed. 'It was nearly two years ago when I noticed how you deteriorated under the burdens of ruling the Imperium. You became irritated, indifferent to whatever happened to you. Your eyes were hollow, I felt like I was speaking to a Tranquil.'
'You didn't even tell me?' Dorian's voice was trembling.
'I didn't, because I knew that wouldn't help,' the former Inquisitor made a vague gesture, 'before all that, before I became a Pavus, when I had been a leader of a huge organisation, I had felt the same. You give it everything you have, and it swallows you whole. I had you by my side, though, and you always kept me alive with your playful banter, talks about magic theory and those nights when we didn't need words to communicate.' He smiled, remembering what happened a decade before.
'You could try using my methods before going to these sharks in Minrathous Circle,' Dorian didn't sound certain. 'Or… you did, didn't you?'
Dionysios nodded with a sad smile. 'I tried doing my best in bed, but sex with you was mechanical,' he put up a hand, because his husband wanted to interrupt, 'not your fault, as I said. I bought best wines, took you to theatres, to our estate in Ventus. Maker's breath, I organised that Satinalia, when our children came from the Circles to the mansion, and we stayed there the whole week.'
'It was a wonderful celebration,' Dorian's eyes were full of tears, 'I still have all the enchanted trinkets Mavaar, Lyra and Myron gifted me. It kept warmth in my heart for months.' Dionysios put his hand on the other mage's cheek.
'I saw how happy you were, but behind that happiness there was the same dreariness. You were livelier for some time, but then the indifference and irritation came back, every time I tried to cheer you up.' The former Inquisitor stood straight. 'Several months ago I saw you and Bellara talking about magic theory. I was stunned, because there was a spark in your eyes that I thought I'd never see again. It seemed as if she infected you with her own enthusiasm.'
'I've already told her to try a career at the Circle,' Dorian smiled, 'She's a remarkable scholar with the ability to make even a standing stone interested in magic theory, let alone a mage apprentice.'
'I hope she'll heed your advice,' Dionysios said, 'So that's when I sought out First Enchanter Lavinius. I knew that you love not only magic research itself, but presenting it to others, telling people about everything incredible that you find in magic. A lecture sounded like an ideal variant.'
'And he agreed right away?' There was a smirk on the other man's face.
'Not until I threatened to go to another Circle, which would be glad to house a lecture from the Archon himself,' the former Inquisitor chuckled. 'They miraculously found a time slot in their big amphitheatre for you. Everything else was easy — writing to important Enchanters in the South, explaining everything to Elaine, who invited the magisters and scholars from the Imperium. And organising refreshments for the banquet after the lecture.'
'You shouldn't have bothered yourself for this,' Dorian took his hand and squeezed affectionately, 'sacrificing so much time just for my whims.'
'Happiness isn't a whim,' Dionysios squeezed his husband's hand back. 'And to be happy you need something you love, and I'm always ready to provide it.'
'I love you, Nionios, more than anything in the world,' the grey eyes glistened, the voice was nearly a whisper.
'I'm not the only thing you love,' full lips touched the Archon's nose. 'Magic research makes you shine, and to see that I'm ready to persuade thousands of self-centred morons.'
'Nonsense,' Dorian's voice regained its usual playfulness, 'you're not a "thing", amatus. I just wonder how could I meet such a wonderful person as yourself?'
'You haven't heard? Andraste personally delivered me from the Fade right into your hands,' Dionysios laughed, and it proved to be contagious.
'I need to properly thank the holy woman, she did a remarkable job,' Dorian walked around the desk and placed his hands on his husband's waist. 'Now as I understood I need to rectify something,' he leaned to speak into Dionysios' ear, 'specifically my not mechanical performance in bed.'
