#doraemon headcanons

Gian: Nobita, if you don't shut yer mouth, I'm gonna beat your ass up again!

Nobita: Bet *gets in a fighting stance*

Gian: Yeah, that's what I- wait what?

Nobita: Let's see those hands, Gian

Gian, snickering: Nobita, you do know who you're talking to, right? This isn't Suneo's scrawny ass, this is Big Gian. They call me Big G in the dub!

Nobita: Gian, you and I both know they gave us different dub names because they didn't think American children could handle our real names. That's not a flex. Just look at our boy Satoshi, they call him Ash now.

Gian: Dam

Nobita: So yeah, like I said, you wanna talk smack, let's run them hands Gian

Gian: Nobita, where's all of this confidence coming from? I regularly smoke you on a daily basis. Did Doraemon give you some other gadget or something?

Nobita: Oh no, it's not a new gadget bro. Here's the thing, I literally have on hand a cat robot from the future giving me cheat codes at life. The only reason I'm not a god by now is because I've just been messing around and using them for dumb stuff. If I ever started using them right, even the weakest ones, I could wash you like yesterday's laundry.

Gian: Man, you're not bout to do shi-

*Nobita knocks Gian into a building*

Gian: DAFUQ. DID YOU GET THE STRENGTH CANDY AGAIN?!?

Nobita: Oh no, Gian. Those are 100% my gains. Doraemon basically gave me my own Hyperbolic Time Chamber. Go in there with the Energy Valve to keep myself alive and I survived that hellish training to get stronger than you.

Gian: Man, that's cheating!

Nobita: This coming from the man that cheats at life. Anyway, get up bro, I'm not done with you yet

Gian, running: AW, SHI-

Yes! I have to think on it, but yes.

1. Shizuka is hella competitive. Don't ask why, I just think she's competitive.

2. Nobita's smart. Like, really really smart. He just never tries.

3. Nobita has ADHD,, idk why but I just feel it in my heart. I'm not a professional, or anything, I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but just the way he reads manga when he knows he has homework and a test the next day just gives me a feeling. Like, I imagine him to be thinking, "I really should study. I need to study. Study. But then he reads manga. I should get up and study now, why am I not doing that-- This manga is so interesting and funny."

4. Gian is like. Really bad at communication. He's trying, but everything comes out as anger and he has no idea how to stop lashing out at his friends. He regrets it a bit, when he beats Nobita up, but he can't stop it. The rush of adrenaline, you know?

5. Suneo's bad at communication, and the only way he thinks his friends are gonna stay with him is if he shows off his money. I feel like maybe someone's wronged him in the past, you know? Someone hurt him, and now he's struggling to communicate and just ends up showing off. His showing off is a way of him going, "Look at all the stuff I can do! As long as you guys stay with me, you can do it too!"

6. I've mentioned this before, but Dekisugi hates sports. Like hates sports. He's just good at them, but he doesn't like it. Why play sports when you could ✨ r e a d ✨

BAHAHAHAHA

LMBOOOO SBSBABAB SJDBCJDNDJD

Doraemon: NORAMYAKO WANNA GO TO THE DORAYAKI SHOP WITH MEEEEEE

Noramyako: Im busy, sorry

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Nobita is used to throwing all of his used bottle caps in a box so eventually that became a collection. Though no one cares about it. He’s tried to have other collections but he considered them too hard and gave up. 

Doraemon owns posters and CDs of all his favorite groups and singers. All of which are jpop girl bands. He also loves superhero stuff and has a lot of super sentai stuff and some American superhero stuff as well. For example, he probably owns the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack. These are all guilty pleasures though so he won’t show any of it. 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Nobita’s seen himself when he’s older so he already knows what he’ll look like and what’s going to happen. Though part of him also doesn’t want to get older so he won’t have to lose Doraemon even though he knows it’s inevitable.