#dontshy

#throwbackthursday #chords #studiolife #maschine #logicprox #productiontechniques #dontshy (at East Coast Road)

I'm trying to understand you know. What exactly I've been doing wrong because I get treated like shit always. Like I'm important but only when you need me and the other times when I need you, all of you, no ones there. I'm trying really hard to understand why I'm so hard to love. Is it because I have walls or is it because I tear them down so quickly when someone even barely tries to reach me. I'm so in need of love, that anything, anyone at all ready to laugh with me, to hear me out even once seems to be important. And then I idolise them, and when they get too close,my walls say she's only ours and no one else's. So many walls. So concrete. So hard to break down. And I keep wondering why I built them. People should speak out and tell each other what they feel. Why do we hesitate, because we'll be made fun of? When you're a wreck and sitting in the corner of an alley, drinking, or in the corner of a room full of people, unable to speak, people are still going to make fun of you. So why the inability to tell your best friend that you cried in the washroom, again, last night. Why the inability to tell someone you love them. Why the inability to look at yourself and say "I'm happy, because I spoke my heart out and I have no regrets." Our voices are so loud when they needn't be, fighting, making noises. When you need a friend, scream, loudly, someone will hear over their own screams, and you will find a friend. You will. You will. You will.