#dontpityme

I was just yours to control.

I’m having that sad moment when I realize there is only one piece of Birthday cake 🍰 left. 😩 #firstworldproblems #thistooshallpass #dontpityme #illgetthroughthis😉 #anythingispossible

Okay so yeah I’m not like most people. I am an introvert but am quite good at being social. I don’t enjoy going to parties or hanging out with a lot of people. When I get invited though I have an overwhelming feeling of obligation. This has cause several problems. The number 1 being, I stretch myself so thin that at times it may seem like I might disappear within myself. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends and I do quite enjoy helping out but isn’t there a line? Everyone has their own line in which they have to say “No. Enough is enough.” At this point in my life I feel like that line has been crossed ‘to infinity and beyond’; yet time and again I have not said no. The result being my energy, happiness, and general well being has taken a toll. I know, I know you are probably thinking ‘Just say no.’ There in lies the problem. It is extremely difficult for me to skirt around things where assistance is needed thus in which creates another problem. That problem being the well known fact that when assistance is needed I am always relied upon due to my constant inability to say “no” which to me can comes across (in my mind) as selfishness/ungratefulness if I were to say “no”. I am the llama on the slippery ship trudging across the open sea. One giant wave will wash me overboard, spiraling down until I have reached the bottom of the ocean floor. “What is a llama doing on a ship in the first place?---They needed a first mate” 

No idea why I couldn't et to sleep last night until around 4am but yeah. No late night caffeine, Ritalin or other stimulants. So wtf? Now trying to muster energy to go to Sebago and sit by a lake doing nothing. Oh the agony. Pity me. #dontpityme #cranky #whitewhine #getoverthyself #sebagolake

I'm a big girl now! #limbdifferent #limbdifferentandproud #dontpityme #stopstaring #dontstaregetalife

I’m so done with everyone and everything that’s been going on. I am so ready to graduate and have all those happy and cheerful memories of summer that everyone has. I had something like that, but those fond memories were somewhat destroyed by those who could care less, and those who don’t know the wrong that they do to me.  I want that cliche “summer before college” and I want it now before everything falls apart. I’m just ready for my fairytale of a life and I just haven’t gotten my big break yet.