#dongfang

- she knows that DFQC wants to free the 100,000 soldiers in the Xuanxu realm because he promised so - if she kills herself, the soldiers will be freed, - she knows that DFQC doesn't control Hellfire anymore which makes him weaker - if she kills herself, he won't need Hellfire anyway, - she knows that DFQC needs to find a way how to protect his people because the war is coming - if she kills herself, the war will probably stop or the scales will turn, - she knows that the primordial spirit of the Chidi woman is inside the Bone Orchid, feeding on her and gradually  killing her - if she kills herself, the spirit will be freed, - she knows that DFQC made a pact with the evil spirit which is extremely dangerous - if she kills herself, he won't need it anymore.

And that's why she did it. Not only she freed him of the Heart Curse she inadvertently casted but she freed the 100,000 soldiers and saved his life from the evil spirit because colluding with it would lead to his untimely death. She wants him to live even when she can't be with him (for obvious reasons).

She, however, doesn't understand one thing: - why did he claim that he never loved her and that he just played tricks on her. She obviously doesn't believe it and evidently, she never will. And even if she eventually did believe it, it was never a reason for her to stop loving him.

And then we get the scene on the bridge in the Cangyan Sea where DFQC: - comes up with the best kind of love confession he ever could, - explains that the only way to break the Bone Orchid and save her was to stop her from loving him and that's why he lied to her and humiliated her, - thus doing basically what his father did and what she is doing at the moment.

I just... the way the realization hits her like a ton of bricks is so well told. You can see that she was already fragile and that's why she told him to stop talking. And then, he just blurts this out and it's just too much for her, too much for the mask she willingly wears. And she breaks. And it's heartbreaking, twisted, angsty and beautiful in the same time.

The wall hanging is opposite my bed so I get to wake up to this everyday 💖😍

My cute lil notebooks 🥺💖

BUT. What I also just realized that his aversion towards the medicine because it’s bitter is a callback to the previous monologue XLH had after he confessed that he wanted to help her pass the Immortal examination in Episode 7.

She says: “It’s like you’ve been taking a medicine. Because you’re used to it, you never think it’s bitter. But one day, someone gives you a candy while you’re taking your medicine. Because you’ve tasted the sweetness of the candy, the same medicine that you’ve taken before will now taste too bitter to swallow.”

He already tasted the sweetness of the candy and now everything is bitter to him so he doesn’t want to take it because who cares about getting better when he’s still getting the candy in the form of XLH taking care of him? 

DFQC, you’re bloody genius in love...

Best proposal ever. 100/10.

...and she goes for it anyway because she’s full of compassion and love...

...and he eventually accepts it with “Please, hold me and never let me go.”

I just love XLH’s attitude here. Her whole demeanour just screams with:

I mean, just look at it: - "Since I am the ‘high-ranking Moon Supreme’, why didn't you obey my order?" - "Since you said you and I are not friends, I have nothing to blame you for." - "Since you and I are not friends, don't say these empty words anymore." - "You said there's no love between us." And my favourite (there might be more, I'm half-way through Episode 21 to write this): - "There is someone who values love and loyalty in the fairy realm? This is the first time I've ever known it."

He keeps throwing her own words at her, calling out her hypocrisy, jabbing at her and prodding, probably in hope that she would break and tell him that she didn't mean her words that way and there actually IS affection and loyalty between them.

Isn't offended DFQC just adorable?