#don garner

Recap

By the way, you can watch this film on Starz if you’ve got it, or Amazon Prime if you’re willing to rent it. Figure I’d tell you guys this stuff if you ever want to watch these films along with me!

Anyway, we start with the title song being played over the opening credits. By the way, this film is based on a biography about Wyatt Earp with the same name, so using this song in the beginning makes sense! As the credits fade, we happen upon Monument Valley in Arizona, where cowboys are managing a herd. And watching these cowboys are Newman Clanton (Walter Brennan) and his son Ike Clanton (Grant Withers).

Old Man Clanton gives the boys some advice, and we discover that these are brothers heading through to get to California. He tells them that they should take advantage of the nearby town of Tombstone, just over the ridge. The young man thanks them, and they part ways, with Ike and his father looking on ominously. That night, the cowboys set up camp, and we find out that these are the Earps. Specifically, it’s Virgil (Tim Holt), Morgan (Ward Bond), James (Don Garner), and of course, Wyatt Earp (Henry Fonda).

After James looks at a gorgeous cross that he plans to give to his fiancee, the three other brothers head out to the bustling town of Tombstone. As they go to get a shave at a local barbershop/dentist (yes, that was a thing), the whole place is shot up by...Indian Charlie (Charles Stevens). Yeah, sorry, it’s the times. Anyway, the cops aren’t exactly willing to do much about Charlie’s mayhem, and a frustrated Wyatt steps up in their stead. He takes Charlie out, and is just a little racist in the process. Again, it’s unfortunately the times.

Anyway, seeing this whole display, Earp is IMMEDIATELY offered a job as sheriff, and I have to try really REALLY hard not to make a joke about how times don’t change. And yet, since I technically just did so, feel free to put together the pieces yourself. Earp refuses, and he and his brothers leave town to check on James and their cattle. And unfortunately, the cattle are gone...and James is dead.

Which, uh...didn’t happen. At all, actually. James, if you recall, was the once married to Bessie, and he DEFINITELY wasn’t murdered by cattle rustlers outside of Tombstone. He was one of the brothers to die of natural causes, in fact, in 1926! Yeah, dude was a bartender! So, there’s Inaccuracy Number 3. And Number 1, by the way, is the fact that none of the brothers’ wives are with them, while Number 2 is the fact that James was already married, and to Bessie! So, yeah, not a great start there.

Anyway, Wyatt IMMEDIATELY goes back and accepts the job, in order to get revenge for his brother’s murder. He asks who the local gambler in town is, to which he’s told Doc Holliday (Inaccuracy No. 4, Holliday didn’t get to Tombstone until well after the Earps did). He also asks who the local cattlemen are, and they are, of course, the Clantons. Wyatt recognizes Newman, and immediately confronts him and his four sons on their bullshit.

By the way, that’s Inaccuracy No. 5. The Clantons were DEFINITELY thieves, but they never stole from Earp directly, and they certainly didn’t kill James Earp. Oh, and speaking of, there’s Inaccuracy No. 6 as Wyatt makes a short speech on James’ grave. He tells his younger brother that kids like him shouldn’t have had this happen, yaddayaddayadda. But, uh...James was the second oldest, DEFINITELY not 18 at this point. Should...should I stop counting? This might be bad.

In a saloon, a woman sings above a poker game. This is...Chihuahua (Linda Darnell). Ow. OW. OH GOD OW. Anyway...Chihuahua is waiting for Doc Holliday to return from who knows where. She’s also helping another man in the poker game cheat, by spying on Wyatt’s hand. He escorts her outside, where she berates and slaps him, noting that this is Doc Holliday’s town. He shoves her into a water trough. It’s the 1940′s, that shit happened in every movie.

The game continues, and who should show up but Doc Holliday (Victor Mature)! I didn’t get into him much, but Holliday’s an interesting figure in and of himself. He shows up and kicks out the cheating man from the game. He then...leaves. Yo, no, Holliday was a famous gambler, NO WAY he would’ve passed up a chance to join the game! I’d count that as an inaccuracy, but it’s technically speculation.

Wyatt goes to speak with Holliday, and we get an actual Inaccuracy No. 7 when the two meet. As I said before, Holliday and Wyatt knew each other for YEARS. The two were friends at this point (although they would later have a falling out). But in any case, the two get to talking turkey, with Earp disagreeing with how Holliday handles business, and Holliday IMMEDIATELY threatening him. Holliday is a hothead, it seems. But they eventually get along, albeit begrudgingly.

Also, to the films credit, they hint at Holliday’s bout with tuberculosis as he coughs into a handkerchief. This would eventually claim his life at the early age of 36. As the group gets a drink, actor Granville Thorndyke walks in, preparing to perform Shakespeare at the theatre in town. Holliday and Wyatt watch on, joined by Chihuahua. However, Thorndyke is nowhere to be found, causing the audience to IMMEDIATELY destroy the theatre. Apparently, this is the fourth time this has happened. Earp volunteers to try and find him.

Thorndyke is completely blasted, and performing Hamlet in a saloon, held captive by the Clantons. He can’t quite finish the soliloquy, though, leading Doc Holliday to finish for him, only to be interrupted himself by a coughing fit. Wyatt begins to escort him out, only for the Clantons to try and stop him. And in response, when one of them assaults him...

Old Man Clanton walks in to make amends to Wyatt, who leaves with Thorndyke. Clanton then whips his sons in disappointment. Ah, fatherly love. And discipline! It builds character! The next day, Wyatt is there to see a stagecoach coming into town. In this stagecoach is a young woman, newly arrived to the settlement and dressed to the 1880s nines. She’s here to look for Doc Holliday, who’s just left that morning.

Wyatt offers the woman some coffee, and she introduces herself as Clementine Carter (Cathy Downs). Well. I wonder if she’s a love interest. Not like the movie’s named after him or anything. As the song plays in the background (as it’s been doing the ENTIRE MOVIE, by the way), she gets a room in the same place that Wyatt and Holliday are staying.

That night, Holliday returns, and is none-too-pleased for see her there. She’s been chasing him from Boston, where the two met. Which...yeah, Inaccuracy No. 8 and 9. Firstly, Holliday NEVER went to Boston, and most certainly wasn’t from there. And secondly, Clementine doesn’t exist. At this point, Holliday is married to Big Nose Kate Horony! And she’s the only woman that’s EVER been known to be in a relationship with Holliday. So, yeah, problems with this story.

Anyway, Holliday tells her to return home, as he’s no longer the upstanding East Cost doctor that he...well, never actually was, but you get my meaning. He tells her, between massive coughing fits, that he left not because of his failing health, but because he’s no longer the man he was. He tells her to leave in the morning, or he’ll be the one that leaves.

Bereft at the whole situation, Holliday confronts Earp on not telling him about Clementine, then gets a drink. Chihuahua tries to cheer him up, and he angrily rebukes her. Wyatt tries to get him away from the bar and back home, but the interaction instead prompts Doc to shoot his gun at a chandelier, and Wyatt knocks him out cold. 

He goes to get Doc to bed, and the tense moment is completely ruined when the piano player sees this go down, and then feverishly starts playing. You know, the most stereotypical thing in any Western ever? It’s goddamn HILARIOUS, and completely breaks the mood. Just like, dude’s watching this happen, he waits for a lull, and he just goes...”NOW IS MY TIME TO SHINE!!!!” Holy shit, that was funny.

The next morning, Wyatt watches a group of people gathering to raise money for a yet-to-be-built church. Chihuahua comes over and berates Wyatt for hitting Doc, then goes to see Holliday in bed. On her way, she berates Clementine, and makes sure she’s leaving. Also, I don’t really like Chihuahua. She seems like a massive jerk, not gonna lie. Doc tells her that he’s going to Mexico, and agrees to take her with him. He even semi-proposes to her, which is scummy on its own. Jesus, poor Clementine.

Speaking of, she goes to check out, and encounters Wyatt as she waits. Wyatt tells her that she’s giving up too easy, and the two decide to go to the new church together as she waits to leave. They go to dance together, and Wyatt takes her to the church social dinner afterwards. When Holliday sees this...well, to be frank, he overreacts, threatens Wyatt with violence the net time they meet, and takes the fuck OFF without Chihuahua. When Chihuahua sees this, she has her own overreaction and goes to kick Clementine out herself.

In the hotel room, Wyatt walks in on the confrontation, and notices a distinctive necklace around her neck: the silver cross that James was to give to his fiancée. When she says that Doc gave it to her, Wyatt realizes that Holliday may have killed James instead of the Clantons. Speaking of, Wyatt finds the Clantons in the saloon, and they tell him that Doc is headed to Tucson. Wyatt heads out after him, enraged.

Eventually, he catches up to him, and the two engage in the gunfight they’ve been hinting at the whole time. And Wyatt...Wyatt IMMEDIATELY wins. Doc comes back with him, and they go TOGETHER to confront Chihuahua. But Chihuahua is...occupied.

I KNEW I didn’t like her!

So, Chihuahua’s been cheating on Doc with Billy Clanton (John Ireland). To be fair, Chihuahua might be a prostitute, but that’s never been stated in any way, so I’m assuming that this is an affair. With an asshole, too. Clanton escapes out the back door, and Chihuahua lets them in. They confront her, and tell her the significance of the medallion. Realizing that she’d be forcing Doc into jail with her lies, she confesses her affair with Billy Clanton.

But as soon as she does, Billy shoots her through a window, as he’d been watching the whole time. Hey, uh, Billy? Maybe shoot her BEFORE she says your goddamn name, ya fuckin’ moron! Not that I’m rooting for him, but COME ON, how stupid can you be? Wyatt sends his brother Virgil after Billy, then goes back to convince Doc Holliday to operate on the badly injured Chihuahua.

Chihuahua apologizes to Doc, and he forgives her. He also warns her that no anesthesia is coming for his operation, and he’ll have to do it despite that. She agrees, despite the pain. Meanwhile, Virgil chases Billy in the desert, and shoots him as he arrives home. Billy dies at this father’s doorstep, but it’s not over there. Virgil arrives to arrest Billy, not knowing of his death, and is let in.

Old Man Clanton mourns his son’s death, and shoots Virgil in the back as soon as he leaves. And from there, war is coming to Tombstone. And in case anyone was wondering...OF COURSE this didn’t happen.  The Earps and the CCC had a hell of a feud, and Virgil stepped up to enforce a recent gun ordinance against them. Virgil, who was the ACTUAL Marshal, by the way (Inaccuracy No. 10) brought in deputies Morgan, Wyatt, and Doc Holliday to disarm the Clantons. And it’d be THAT confrontation that became the famous gunfight. Billy Clanton would die by Virgil’s hand, but not yet. And Virgil DEFINITELY didn’t die here, having died of pneumonia in 1905. Inaccuracy No. 11.

Well, regardless, the Clantons ride into town, and drop off Virgil’s body at Wyatt’s feet, telling him to meet them at the O.K. Corral. Readying herself for the conflict, Wyatt is met by Doc, who reveals that Chihuahua didn’t make it through the surgery after all. Damn. Didn’t like her, but it is sad to see her dead. She was actually quite and interesting character in the end.

Now having his own reasons for going after the Clantons, Doc joins Wyatt and Morgan to take revenge on the Clantons at the O.K. Corral, just as the sun rises. The conflict that results will be made legend...and will also probably represented inaccurately. So BEFORE it happens, let’s talk about the actual gunfight right quick. It DEFINITELY wasn’t planned, and happened quite by surprise. A lot more people here involved outside of the Clantons, and the confrontation had begun elsewhere. When the fight started, Virgil was at the head, not Wyatt at ALL. They came to take their guns, only to be fired at. Shots are traded, and people get killed. Morgan Earp is wounded, Holliday was bruised, Virgil was shot through the cap, and Wyatt was fine Meanwhile, Billy Clanton was the only Clanton to die, because the Clantons weren’t the only ones in this fight. In total, 3 people died, all of whom were part of the CCC. Got it? Cool.

Here’s what happens in the movie.

So, Holliday gets killed. Um. No. Nope. Inaccuracy No. 12. All of the Clantons are killed, save for Old Man Clanton. Who, to be fair, wasn’t even there at the Gunfight. Inaccuracy No. 13. In the aftermath, Morgan (who is COMPLETELY FINE, Inaccuracy No. 14) and Wyatt see Holliday dead. And having avenged Janes’ death, Wyatt and Morgan leave Tombstone once and for all. 

Before they leave for California, Wyatt speaks with Clementine, who’s decided to stay there as a new schoolteacher. Wyatt says he’ll come back to visit, and gives her a kiss on the cheek. They bid goodbye, and he says:

Ma’am...I sure like that name. Clementine.

...OK, outside of the inaccuracies...I like it. A lot, actually.

Yes, really. Despite the fact that this ENTIRE MOVIE is wrong, it’s actually a VERY good movie! Yeah, I mean that! I’ll break it down.

Cast and Acting - 10/10: Yeah, uh...everybody is great in this. Henry Fonda and Victor Mature stand out, as does Linda Darnell, who plays a strong female character...for the time. But yes, they’re all great. Not a bad actor in the bunch!

Plot and Writing - 9/10: This movie seems a little cliché and romanticized, knowing the stereotypical quirks that Western films use. But, uh...this was the one that started those. Now, granted, something being original doesn’t necessarily make it good, but this movie certainly uses these tropes well. Fact of the matter is, it’s a good plot. It’s extremely inaccurate, obviously, but that’s not the fault of Samuel Engel, Winston Miller, or Sam Hellman. They did fantastic with what they had. The ACTUAL problem was Stuart Lake, because his book was well known to be inaccurate. So, yeah, we can blame him. Still, this movie was well-written.

Directing and Cinematography - 10/10: It’s John Ford. Dude knows how to frame the Old West. It’s fantastic looking, unsurprisingly. And cinematographer Joseph MacDonald also deserves a hell of a lot of credit for this one. It’s all very good, but that’s once again not very surprising.

Production and Set Design - 9/10: Yeah, it’s great. It’s great. Don’t have much to say, other than it might be...too stereotypically Western, if anything. Takes me out of the realism, but who cares? This story’s basically made up anyway!

Music and Editing - 9/10: If I hear “My Darling Clementine” ONE MORE TIME...dear God, it’s so overused in this movie...but it still works. Yeah, even if it’s overused, it still works. Cyril Mockridge isn’t the perfect composer, and his score isn’t perfectly iconic, but it’s still memorable. I’ll never hear that song the same way, anyway. And editor Dorothy Spencer...wait, what? Holy shit, it’s the rare female film editor of the 1940s! And actually...oh, shit, she also edited Stagecoach! How did I not catch that shit? Damn!

Yeah, I think I have! 94%!

I may have my issues with this movie, but it’s still a fantastic film. Never gonna deny that. But I’m actually curious...has this story been represented in a better way than this? Might as well fast-forward and give this another shot, right?