the t4t girl that I am, nothing is quite my kryptonite like dominant top trans men. Oh my gods I love them. However I am also a dominant top. this is how I like it. It is not the same thing as being a switch to me. If he is dominating me or I am dominating him it does not mean the other one of us is submitting.. it just means we lost that particular fight .. but the next one is anyone's game. We're both aiming to win.
Now I realize this is likely a nuance of language and potentially the way many switches see their dynamics. Just a matter of word choice that I personally prefer, that I am a dominant, and being outsmarted or overpowered, or, yielding as a show of respect that has been earned for an honorable battle. But it is not something I am doing willingly.
Willingly... let me expand on that. "Not submitting willingly" in the CNC way. In the context of the scene, it's not willing, and I wouldn't even say it's something I specifically desire to do (lose) outside of the scene, but it is something I'm perfectly content with having happen, as a fair reward to my partner for having outdone me.
And this is really one of the only ways I enjoy bottoming or "submitting".
I want it to feel especially rewarding to my partner if they are able to dominate me. I want it to be a very difficult thing and for it to be an incredible boost to their ego, because I am a powerhouse, because I am such a primally threatening juggernaut, that if they have taken me down, it is truly an incredible feat. It empowers both me and my partner, and that is what I want to feel and make someone else feel. Hence my preference of the dom4dom label.
Being attracted mostly to men, and almost exclusively t4t, I feel a lot of hesitation in wanting a trans man partner with a very dominant style and attitude to be just as willing to bottom for me, given that that is often the expectation of trans men, that they are bottoms and submissive, but it is my hope that it would work for us both in a way that it feels empowering and neither of us feel that we are being put down, rather that it is a thing of honor and battle and some bullshit..
but also the high stakes and excitement is what makes it for me, having "actual consequences" for losing is such a rush.. again this should be in the CNC sense, perhaps just undesirable enough that it does feel like a consequence, and we are motivated to want to win the fight, but not undesirable in the way that, outside of the scene, we would actually be upset and feel bad about having lost and bottoming/"submitting" to the other person.