A Night of Indulgence
f!reader x overprotective!bf!remus
Summary: You accidentally find yourself in a seedy bar with an old friend... and very, very late to dinner.
Warnings: intoxication, non-stigmatized marijuana use, semi-modern au, hogwarts college au, d/s dynamic
Minors: dni. Adults: Drink responsibly. And NEVER take drugs from someone you don't know. ALWAYS get your substances from a dispensary. please.
There were 5 very good reasons you got drunk tonight.
1: You hated clubs.
The get-together was supposed to be in the park. Unfortunately, the rain ruined any chance of that. So instead, you found yourself in a dimly lit nightclub.
It didn't take long for the scene to become unbearable to the sober mind.
2: You hated crowds.
The get-together was supposed to be "low-key". Just a few old friends from Hogwarts. But Amaryllis, your best friend from those days, must have a very different idea regarding the term. So instead, you were surrounded with easily over 50 of her "besties".
It's not that you didn't like the occasional party, you just preferred them predictable. Evening wine, people you know, a sensible curfew.
The only thing that could keep you out of a secluded corner in this hellscape was liquid courage.
3: Your phone was dead.
You debated calling your boyfriend probably a hundred times, each time deciding that asking him to come get you wasn't worth the embarassment or neediness.
But, the incessant indecision killed your phone much quicker than you expected. So a drink replaced your phone in your fidgety hands.
4: You were reliving the Good ol' Days.
Amaryllis never outgrew sorority life. Even back then, you couldn't (and didn't want to) keep up with her partying. As much as you loved her, you would be lying to say that it hadn't put distance in your once-inseparable friendship.
So tonight, why not indulge in the antics of your younger selves? You didn't see Amaryllis often, so you might as well make the most of it.
5: Firewhiskey makes you rebellious.
And, truth be told, a very, very small part of you was ignited by the small rebellion. You were an adult, and if you wanted to spend a night out on the town, why shouldn't you?
Remus shouldn't have all the fun, right?
And that's how you forgot all about sensible curfews. Drink filled you quicker than you realized. You danced, drank, laughed... and when someone offered your an edible, you indulged.
~~~
Remus considered himself a reasonable man. He liked his countertops neat and his socks in pairs.
But tonight, nothing in him was reasonable. You were supposed to be back over an hour ago, and your phone was going straight to voicemail. Remus' hesitation to interfere with your girls' night was at war with his overwhelming need to make sure you were safe, and quickly losing by the second.
Worst of all, your beautiful face wasn't showing up at the park where you said you'd be. It as grey, with a little message saying "Last updated 39 minutes ago" somewhere downtown.
Why weren't you at the park? You went inside because of the rain. Of course you did, that's perfectly sensible. Why hadn't you texted? Your phone must be dead. That explains the voicemail and the location.
Why weren't you back yet?
Remus clenched his jaw and made his decision. Enough was enough. Reasonable or not, he had to make sure you were okay. If something was wrong, he may have already deliberated too long. He wouldn't waste one more second convincing himself you were just distracted, because even if there was only a fraction of a possibility you weren't safe, he was going to do something about it.
By the time your boyfriend had eyes on you, you could barely stand on your own. You were hanging off Amaryllis and giggling at nothing. You barely even noticed him until he grabbed your elbow, jaw set and eyes shining an equal blend of worry and anger.
That stopped you in your tracks. You had assumed he would go to sleep and you could exlain everything in the morning. All of a sudden you remembered his instructions to text him when you were coming home. He was waiting up for you. He must have ben worried sick.
But you were okay (just a little tipsy) and he could see that now. Just as suddenly as it came, the wave of guilt left you and you threw your arms around your tall boyfriend.
"Rem!" You exclaimed over the music. "I missed you!"
His expression softened slightly when he realized exactly how intoxicated you were. His hand moved to your wrist.
"I'm taking her home." He gave the statement, final and unmovable, to Amaryllis, who looked like she wanted to protest but decided against it. Instead, she opted to give you a quick, boozy kiss of the cheek and a heartfelt, cheerful farewell.
Remus didn't waste any time, turning as soon as you said your goodgyes. He pulled you through the flishing lights and shouting crowd, through heavy doors and flickering street lamps to his sedan.
You picked up on his mood, even in your hazy mind. Tears began to slowly roll down your face, but you didn't have the presence of mind to do anything about them.
"Remus..." Your voice was soft, and it made Remus' heart clench, but he held his tongue. In his anger, he didn't trust his words not to be harsher than you deserve. His mind was racing, and you didn't need to hear any of those thoughts, especially not in this state. He buckled you gently into his passenger seat, before beginning to drive home.
You didn't speak again, and soon tiredness must have overcome your anxiety because you were dozing off against the window.
Remus tried to make himself remember that you were safe. He tried to be grateful, to focus on the relief he felt when he saw you safely tucked into a circle of women, in th exact same place as when your phone died.
What woyuld he have done if...
Remus' jaw set again, and his anger was back. You weren't seeing Amaryllis again without him present, that was for sure. \
"What're you thinkin' about?" Your voice was a slurred whisper, heavy with exhaustion and tinted with shame. Almost like you expected him to say he was thinking of leaving you on the side of the road. Maybe you did.
Remus exhaled in a huff. He knew you were probably starting to come down, hard, from all the substances in your body. he knew you were noticing his foul mood. He knew you deserved to have that anxiety quieted.
He tried, but he couldn't force the words out. Truth is, he was pissed at you. It was taking everything in him not to snap. He knew that wouldn't be fair to you. Remus prided himself on being in control of his temper, never taking it out of anyone who doesn't deserve it. Especially never you.
His hands tightened and loosened on the wheel a few times. You saw he wasn't going to say anything. Your head hit the window again.
A long, suffocating silence.
"I was thinking... that I don't want you spending time with Amaryllis anymore. Not without me." Remus was surprised by his voice. Rough, low, and honest. His throat caught with everything he didn't say.
Bright eyes shone at him through tears. "It wasn't her fault, Rem, it was mine," you pleaded.
Remus didn't respond. He just glanced at you, and continued driving.
~~~
At home, Remus helped you out of your sundress and into a pair of his sweatpants and a tee. He braided your hair while you clumsily brushed your teeth, and he tucked you into bed with a kiss, like he did every night.
The tenderness overwhelmed you.
"Remmy..."
He hushed you. "Let's talk in the morning. I'm not going anywhere. For now you need to rest." His voice was low and raspy.
You let your tears wet your pillow as Remus climbed into bed beside you.
"I'm so s-"
"Shhh, none of that. Go to sleep." Remus put a possessive hand around your waist and spooned you.
Your head felt all wrong and you wanted to protest, but the gentleness of your boyfriend's embrace and the warm duvet left no room to negotiate. In seconds, you slept.
~~~
The sun was already high when you awoke. Morning brought with it a killer headache.
You stretched your sore musclesand opened your eyes to an empty room. Distantly, you heqard the sizzling of cooking. On your nightstand was a note.
On it, elegant handwriting scrawled:
Making breakfast.
We need to talk.
You and I are okay.
Memories filled you, most hazy and colored with the hyperboles of your inebriated mind.
You brushed your hair and teeth, not bothering to change. For a minute you looked at yourself in the mirror, wondering what awaited you today. You quelled the fears that arose in you. Remus said you were okay.
But, you were still wobbly and nervous as you crossed the hall into the kitchen.
Remus was wearing a plain tee and plaid pajama bottoms, and he scrambled some eggs. A still-steaming plate awaited you in your usual spot.
When Remus looked at you his face was hard, scars pink and pulling his mouth into the odds shape you only see when he's relaxed. He scanned you. For what, you weren't sure.
Aparently satisfied, his expression softened into something domestic, but not quite pleased.
"Perfect timing," he gestured with the pan, "toast just finished."
You grabbed a slice of toast and sat meekly by the breakfast Remus made.
"Good morning," you said. It was a little awkward, but you were testing the waters.
Remus didn't answer.
"Did you sleep okay?"
A brief pause.
"Yeah, darling, mostly. You threw up around four, do you remember?"
You didn't. But, now that you thought about it, your shirt was different, and you woke up on the spare pillowcase. You opened your mouth to answer, but what came out was, "I'm really sorry. I-"
"You could have suffocated."
Remus was really upset. He never spoke to you so clipped.
"I know. I... I'm really sorry, Remus." You voice took on a wavering, wet quality.
He heaved a long sigh.
With a small shake of his head, he said, "I know you are." He plated his breakfast and turned to look you in the eyes for the first time. "Let's eat first, yeah?"
You gulped and nodded. Your appetite left some to be desired, but the eggs truly looked excellent.
He sat beside you, pressing a deliberate, meaningfuol kiss to your cheek. You gave him a weak smile and you both dug in.
It was as excellent as it looked. You mostly ate in silence, broken only with him offering salt and the occasionalsatisfactory hum.
He finished his plate before you, and after a few moments, said simply, "I feel a lot better."
A real meal will do that, but not for you, not this time.
"Want to move to the sofa?" He asked when you finished.
You nodded.
Remus cleared your plate and then led you to the living room with a hand on your back. He sat with you, pulling you into his chest.
"We need to talk about last night, love."
Fear built a home for itself in your abdomen and started to grow. You knew Remus loved you. You knew he would never hurt you. But, can anyone hear those words and not feel anxious for the worst?
"Why don't you start by telling me what happened." Remus rubbed your shoulderblade gently and rested his head against the top of yours.
"I guess... it started with the rain. Amaryllis suggested the club instead, and I didn't really love the idea, so I said I wasn't dressed for it. She had an extra outfit in the car, and I didn't have another excuse, so I just agreed." You waited for Remus to remark on the revealing dress you had on, or how you should have advocated for yourself, but he didn't. He just held you and listened.
"She invited about, twelve people? Which was only a few more than we talked about, so I didn't think much of it. But they all came with their friends so it filled up fast." You took a deep breath. "They didn't let me bring the wine in, obviously, so Amaryllis and I drank it in the car. But, no one else brought their own alcohol, so everyone was drinking there. I thought it'd be rude not to join, so I was just going to have a few cocktails. But... I lost count. And at the time I felt like I had lots of good reasons to drink more. I guess I had too much."
Remus was still. "And the drugs?"
You deflated.
"It was just an edible, I'm sure of it."
That broke something in Remus. His quiet demeanor became a prison for his anger, rather than the cool, collected stability it usually was.
"You can't possibly have known that." His voice was too calm for the words he spoke.
"But I-"
"No. It doesn't matter. That could have been laced with something. Anything!" Remus pressed his nose to your hiar and took a deep breath, calming himself down. Reminding himself that you were here with him, and you were safe. "Is there anything else?"
You were happy to shake your head.
Remus gave a quiet sigh, deep, cleansing, and relieved.
"Can I tell you what it was like for me?"
"Yes. Of course," you said quietly, but genuinely.
"You were meant to be back at ten-" you shrunk a bit, "-and you didn't text me you were going to be late. By 10:05 I was already checking my watch, wondering if you were okay. How do you think I felt at eleven? Midnight?"
"Not good." You hadn't noticed your tears until you spoke, your wet vice surprising you.
"Not good at all, Love. I should have driven over as soon as your location stopped updating. I've been kicking myself ever since that I didn't."
You curled deeper into his chest. It was strange to think about your mature, assertive boyfriend feeling that way. He always seemed to know the right answer, the right course of action.
"I tried to trust you. I didn't want to believe you would do something like this. But the more I thought that, the more I worried something terrible had happened to you, which was even more unbearable to think about.
"I feel extremely disappointed. And betrayed. Do you have any idea how dangerous this was? How irresponsible? How unsafe?!"
Tears were falling harder now, and it was getting harder to breath through the quiet gasps that racked your frame. Remus resumes his comforting strokes to your back.
You let frantic apologies fall from your lips, punctuated with quiet sobs.
Remus hushed and cooed and reassured you while you cried, but for the most part, he let you cry it out. He knew you needed to release the pent-up sadness and guilt.
Soon enough, your breathing became normal, and while you still uttered "'m sorry"'s with every other breath, you had otherwise calmed.
"Are you ready to talk about moving forward?"
"I- I think so."
Remus squeezed your shoulders affectionately. From the corner of your eye you could see his gentle, kind gaze trained on you. But you kept your eyes on your hands in your lap.
"What do you think should happen?"
You pondered the question, mind still fuzzy from crying. "I think... I don't know. I can't think of a rule we don't already have. I just broke s-so many." You began to cry again, but easier.
Remus hummed, "taht's true. I think we should add one though." He paused to give the top of yuor head a kiss. "If you're drinking without me, I want you to send me texts hourly, with how many you've had, so I can monitor how drunk you are. And I can come get you before it gets to this point if necessary.
And, you're not to take a substance of any kind that you didn't get from me or a dispensary. Frankly, I'm disappointed that it even has to be a rule."
He was right. You were usually so careful about watching your drinks, and you never thought you'd be the kind of person to take a risk like that with marijuana. But you let yourself get so drunk that you did, and that was no less irresponsible.
"And... Amaryllis?"
You felt Remus furrow his brows.
"What about her?"
"You said you didn't want me seeing her," you said carefully.
You and Amaryllis had grown apart, sure, but she was still one of your oldest friends. You did love the rare occasions you got to see her.
"So you do remember that." Remus smiled against your hair. "I can't say I'm happy with her for letting you get so drunk, or for encouraging you, or for putting you in a situation you were so clearly unconfortable in. But... ultimately, it's your responsibility, and mine, to make sure you're taken care of."
You noticably relaxed.
"Love, you do know I would never dictate who you can spend your time with like that, right? I'm your Dom, not your warden."
"I know," you said, and that was true. Unless someone was truly dangerous, you knew Remus would never try to pull you away from someone you cared about.
"Good." He was peppering kisses all along your face. "I love you," he said in between each.
Giggles escaped you. "I love you too."
