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i love jax so much i love her selfish hostility that clouds out her longing for happiness and connection i love her terrified self preservation that ruins her life and makes everyone else's lives worse too i love how much she clearly wants to just be happy and nice and normal but also really can't do it because she's so fucking scared of what that means. so she becomes the villain and tries really hard not to think about it
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tadc spoilers
i understand why people are confused by leeroy not transitioning publicly irl and still using he/him, but i really don't think that disproves that jax is trans. i know none of my followers need to hear this (probably) but here's why the argument annoys me ig.
for one, lots of people start their transition privately/only among close friends/only for themselves, and they wouldn't be out online and at work immediately, which seems likely for jax. additionally, are we forgetting how she reacted in the circus after she even vaguely implied to ribbit that she was trans? that complete sabotage of their friendship just because ribbit kind of knew comes from something that happened to leeroy as well. she's the same person as she is in the circus, with the main difference being that the circus actively encourages her making herself worse. i still think it'd take a damn long time for her to be ready to accept herself healthily irl too!
i would have loved if they'd chosen to explicitly refer to jax with she/her, but it's not like this doesn't make sense on a character level with what we've already had established, and it doesn't really function as a complete counterargument like i've seen some people on reddit and twt claim...
"there is still time," i say, desperately clutching at jax's shoulders. "one episode left. ONE!!!! you will figure yourself out before the show ends. THERE IS STILL TIME!"
God I'm too tired to say anything smart or coherent but I just really think Jax is trans and it's just so wonderful. Everything about it is wonderful. She's so wonderful. I want to see her get worse and then better again. I want her to slowly learn vulnerability. I want her to tumble and crash along a long journey of self-discovery and ultimately find herself.
Honestly just posting this bc I'm craving the chance to talk about her with others aaaugh
Anyway I'm going to spoil the fic concept im working on since I'm taking way too long to finish it.
Basically: the irl version of Jax who put on the headset, got brain scanned, and kept on living life went on to undergo some character development and accept herself & transition. She later ends up back in the same building where she puts on the headset again, mostly for shits and giggles since it "didn't do anything" the first time. Accordingly, this version of Jax spawns into the Circus in the immediate aftermath of episode 8, and she has already accepted herself, become a bit more open, and transitioned. She & the Jax who has been there for years pick up that they are the same person way before anyone else does but Jax isn't exactly thrilled about this because ... denial and stuff. The rest will come when I post the fic.
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rereading wha and I love when Qifrey somehow says a little heart. I want to throw him off a cliff
I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit I hate Reddit
i don't know how to explain this but i feel like i'm specifically in the transfem jax fandom rather than the jax fandom or the tadc fandom and it's been this way since june 2025
