#dokuseiryu

I have a lot of self-doubts. I personally consider my portrayal to be extremely flawed, as:

I do not have any pre-written material I base myself on (sure, I do know what I’m doing and I plan headcanons in my head but I can’t even sit down and write them bc I’m too distracted by everything). 

There’s crack absolutely everywhere. And yes, I do have fun but how can people take me seriously??? How can people take Myst seriously?

I feel like I’m always letting down my followers. 

I’m not even able to tell people that Myst is pansexual without getting replies like “you sure? he’s not just gay?” (which hurts me a bit sometimes, bc his pansexuality is an extremely important aspect of my Myst in my eyes)

And, god forbid, I’ve started to roleplay without the reflex of reading rules, so I’m constantly worried that I’m not tagging triggers right and breaking rules. Ofc I do read now, but there’s still a lot of blogs I haven’t read the rules of. And I try to go back and read my followers’s rules BUT. LIKE I SAID. Distraction

I do know that no one’s perfect. I do know that other people have similar problems. I do know that I’m probably not as bad as I think I am. But, well…

I just… I’m the only active Mystogan RP blog. And I feel like that means I should be better.