Mar 25, 2019
there's a chance i might be genderfluid i know ive been just doing the general nonbinary for a while now but genderfluid is something im looking into and im so sad that info on it is a bit scarce im sad i searched it on youtube and the results were mostly negative :(((((
#im feeling very fluid tonight i went from celebrating my femininity an hour ago#to thinking am i a guy and wanting to be able to present as a guy tomorrow#in the hopes that maybe ill find out im a guy and not a girl but it never happens#but im not a girl either like i have a girl part of me but its definitely not the whole#i feel like the masc prt of me is very underdeveloped because i need to learn more about#what a non toxic version of masc is and build that muscle in myself#because i know the potential for it is there and i feel like when im feeling masc that i#just flounder around because i don't know my way around it#but im not bigender#because ive felt many places on the spectrum#usually leaning towards fem so thats why i dont know how to navigate the masc#times of my life. its scary being part of a small group#like obviously but its something thats been on my mind this evening#thinking about this#im gonna continue being les but im not butch its just not me. i thot about bi for a while#but im far more comfortable w women or nonbinary ppl than men#i won't subject myself to that unless a time comes when im more safe and comfy#doing that.#my stepdad was talking about asoue tonite and said 'the guy who cant decide if#hes a gay or a girl' and it was like. yesterday morning he was talking to me and made a#vauge thing like. you can educate me on anything u know. id been wearing a pride pin#for a week or so b4 and he and my mom saw it. so they obv have ideas#but i am not into educating ppl and going thru the doubting.#all my parents n stepparents are mormon so its like that adds more complications#and it makes me so angry that they have like. worms in their brains with this xjsjxn#i only see my brother 1 a yr but i want him to know he can be who he is#idk :(
