lardo: lardo laughs at your assumption that she has a small dog. her bernese mountain dog is enormous. fortunately for lardo’s art projects, he’s also very calm and lowkey, taking a lot of naps and not minding if lardo uses him as a pillow. he loves watching the food network. he also doesn’t mind if small children want to sit on his back and will usually walk around a little bit before depositing the small child safely on the ground (he is very good with kids and a lot of families without pets watch out for when lardo walks him so they can go say hi to that nice young woman and their children can play with the dog)

ransom: ransom, like jack, has a therapy dog. he just doesn’t know it. he thinks it just took an unreasonably long time for the adoption to be finalized, but actually holster convinced the people at the shelter to make it take at least 6 months while he got the dog trained as a therapy dog. his dog is a havanese who is practically glued to his side. she comes to all of the smh games and sits with march right behind the players. when ransom is away march takes care of her. ransom also really likes to braid her hair (lardo taught him how) when he’s just been staring at his computer or a textbook for too long, so his dog usually has a lot of braids that are tied off with lil ribbons.

holster: holster has a saint-bernard. listen this dog is huge and omg the floof. all the floof. he’s famous for barking along to the radio in the car (holster recorded it and posted it on tumblr because of course he did) and can even knock holster over if he bumps holster’s legs at the right moment. he also loves snow but is terrified of fireworks and will try to jump into holster’s arms/lap if he hears them which has occasionally entertaining results, but mostly he just follows holster/other people (ransom) around waiting to be petted

nursey: has a smaller-than-average beagle who has learned very very quickly to walk behind or to the side of his human, lest his human trip. he likes to curl up on a pile of nursey’s scarves and is known to climb up onto tables while nursey is doing his homework and suddenly lick his nose. he also sleeps in nursey’s bed, nursey halfheartedly tried to stop it but then he got used to waking up with his dog right next to him and now he has to change his sheets ridiculously often because there’s hair e v e r y w h e r e

dex: a lil pitbull!!!!! (again, see post that inspired me) he adopts the pitbull when she’s a puppy and she is the sweetest dog you will ever meet, she’s also very lazy and loves when dex carries her around (which he does frequently, until she gets bigger, and then he doesn’t do it as often). lardo convinced him to make an instagram for his dog. the picture he posted of her wearing a flower crown blew up and got featured on a buzzfeed list of dogs wearing flower crowns. his dog is famous. 

chowder: chowder has a golden retriever!!! he adopted her when she was a puppy!!! her full name is santa josefina shark-chow but he mostly just calls her josie (he has accepted that in order to not receive odd looks he must call her josie with an english j instead of a spanish j because otherwise it sounds like he’s calling her ‘hoesie’ and honestly?? he can accept that that would raise some eyebrows) and every year she dresses up as a shark (an ocean shark, not a san jose shark)  for halloween. the first time this happened bitty went to all the frat houses on the block a few days before halloween and advised them to buy dog treats to hand out at halloween because there would definitely be at least one dog trick-or-treating, chowder still marvels at how many places had dog treats to hand out that night. most of the frat houses buy them for halloween because no matter what they think of the hockey team they don’t want to disappoint josie

tango: has a french bulldog who is excited about everything, when they go for walks they have to stop every 4 seconds because she wants to investigate something new, like a stick or a doorway that smells good. tango doesn’t realize it but she actually imitates him quite a bit, and when he’s asking questions she’ll tilt her head in exactly the same way. she’s also very noisy because whenever she discovers something new she starts barking and looking for tango to show it to him, he is that dog owner who constantly has a leash tangled around his legs

whiskey: has a very floofy bichon frise who is almost the exact opposite of tango’s dog, if she finds something interesting instead of yanking whiskey towards it she will just sit there. and wait. she may be tiny but she be fierce. once their walk was delayed for ten minutes because there was a restaurant and she just parked herself by the entrance so she could smell everything. she loves when the groomer visits and will often try to ‘hide’ their shoes by lying on top of them so they can’t leave

johnson: does not actually have a dog but he works at the shelter where all of the smh coincidentally got their dogs (except dex because he adopted his dog before coming to samwell and who goes from maine to massachusetts just to find an animal shelter)