#documentationofprocess

     Today is the final. I submitted two days early, mainly because I mixed up the date of the final, but also because I thought my work was ready. It was the best of my ability, and I think I did a good job.

     Looking back at all these posts I can’t help but laugh at how anxious I was through the whole process. I think this blog does more than just collect the various parts of the process, I think it shows the pressure scholars can feel to be the best. To be perfect. I think I’m going to come back to this documentation of process and just look at all it took to get just one paper done. I think I have a little more respect for scholars now. I mean, I always have, but now I really get it.

     After all the little hangups and fears I had, I feel proud of myself. I wrote something in a new writing style. I had to revamp my paper several times, to the point I thought I was going to lose my cool. Out of all the challenges, though, I think the hardest part for me is putting my ideas out there. Did I do enough work? Are my thoughts on track? Will they like it? I always leave a piece with these questions tormenting me, but this time I don’t feel that afraid. Once I submitted this piece and this blog they’re both out of my hands, out for anyone to do anything with them. It’s like raising a child, I have to let them go. Let them live their own lives with or without me.

     I also think it’s easier to let go of these fears because I think this class helped me feel more comfortable as a writer, and a researcher. Even though I’m not going to do heavy academic researchers throughout my entire writing career, having these skills under my belt makes me stand a little taller. That, and I will always have to do some research for my creative writing, so I’m glad I have a new process for going into that.

     I’m no researcher, no scholar, but I am a writer. Research is important to make creative writing as truthful as possible, even for the most fictional worlds. I’m really thankful for this class for teaching me not only how to research better, but how to pre-search as well. 

    As I exit GSW 1120, I’m looking forward to my future. I’m not dreading what people will think of my writing or the ideas I have, I’m excited. I want to know how people will react to my work. I want to know how research gave my words more meaning. I’m so proud of myself and my paper. Even if it isn’t the greatest paper or even the best of my class, I’m okay with that. 

   I first came into this class thinking it was some “easy A”, but it wasn’t. It was so much more. It’s important for all students, not just writers, to know how to effectively communicate their thoughts and ideas, and I think this is just the place to learn.

    So, thank you, GSW 1120. Thank you, Jessica Puder, for being a great instructor. 

     I’m nervous. I spent this entire semester prepping for this and I’m not sure it will be enough. Since I last documented my progress, I have added richer resources to my paper and I have also written another draft, but due to personal problems I haven’t been able to have my paper peer reviewed. I’ve had a friend read it and I am going to have another, but I’m still worried it won’t be enough. 

     That being said, I’m proud of myself. This entire project is something I never thought I’d be able to do. I wrote a paper entirely in a format I’ve never used before. It was so terrifying to me because if I was doing something wrong I wouldn’t have known. I mean, I did look over the sample paper and the Purdue citation sheet, but I am still terrified something isn’t right. I just want this paper to be as good as it can. 

       Okay, so as I’m drafting I’m realizing some gaps in my knowledge so I have to reevaluate the research I’ve done (again) and try to find some richer, more knowledgable sources for my argument. Also, I’m struggling a lot with formatting my work to fit APA, but I’m gonna review all the class resources again.

      Today’s Earth Day and I’m really thinking about what I’m doing this research for. Other classmates are engaging with their interests or something that’s part of their identity, but I can’t help but feel disconnected from my paper. I feel like I’m approaching it wrong, like my focus is on the wrong setting. For a while I was worried I picked the wrong topic for a long time, but today came around.

    This paper isn’t just so I can stand on a soap box and tell others why they need to be more eco-friendly, it’s me. It’s my desire to help the environment and change how people treat the world. It’s my desire to engage with others through my writing. It’s my struggles and triumphs through my classes. I was worried I didn’t pick a topic that connected enough to myself, but now I’m realizing it’s a mirror of myself.

    Not only did I find myself in my paper, I remembered why I was so passionate about writing on the environment. Some people told me there wasn’t really a point for me to write about since I can’t do anything about it, but that’s not true! For starters, anyone can play a part in the fight against climate change just by trying to live more eco-friendly. 

    It’s like laying a tray of cookies out for an event. One person setting up the event may take one thinking that it’s just one so it won’t make a difference. That may be true, but if others setting up the event take a cookie thinking the same thing more and more cookies will disappear until there’s none left for the event. Even the smallest actions make the biggest impacts, especially when taken by a group.

    Life has gotten the jump on me lately, so I’m a little behind on my paper. I still have some research I need to finish up in order to even start some sections, but I have enough to work on the introduction (I need to finish the last bit of it and then revise) and a few body paragraphs. 

    I did it! I found sources with the exact information I had in mind when going into this project! It took a lot of effort and struggle, but I made it. The literature review and my proposal are finished and wrapped up tight. 

   I’m taking this moment to celebrate myself, because it’s always good to give yourself credit when it’s do. I hope my other classmates are taking pride with the work they’ve done. I only imagine they’re just as, if not more, stressed about success with this project.

   Time. Time is my greatest enemy right now. I haven’t done anywhere near enough research as what I originally planned to have done. I’m also dealing with a lot of doubt in myself and in the topic I have, which the Craft of Research told me to expect, but it’s still hard. 

    I’m still finishing up my literary review assignment and I’m just running uphill. I know this is the hard part, and I know I can get through it. I just hope my classmates know they can get through the hard periods, too. I can’t wait to see their research, I hope they’ll be able to connect with mine. I hope others can, too. Changing how we treat environmental issues is essential right now, our planet is in danger. We have to step up, so hopefully I can convince some other people to join me.

    Hello! I haven’t updated in a while, so this one will be a little longer than the last posts. A lot has happened in my life so I’ve been finding it really difficult to update, but so much has happened in class I need to talk about it.

     The broad topic I chose was the importance of transitioning into cleaner energy to help the environment. Which, is very important, but can be taken a lot of ways. Then, when writing my incident analysis rough draft, I remembered an episode of How I Met Your Mother I watched when I was a kid. 

     The episode was called Twelve Horny Women and it followed the storyline of Marshall, Ted’s (the protagonist) best friend, as he battled a court case against Gruber Pharmaceuticals and their pollution of Frog Lake. Marshall always cared about the environment, and was shocked to see his friend, Brad, working against the environment to help the pharmaceutical company win the case. Brad revealed to Marshall he took the case because he would make a hefty amount of money, which sickened Marshall. 

    When I was younger I didn’t understand why Brad took the case. He was an adult, he was supposed to make the right decision and help the environment, but he didn’t. Now, much older and a little wiser, I understand. Money. Everyone loves it, everyone needs it. You can’t survive in this world without it.

     That’s when I realized our desires for wealth and success outweighs our concerns for the world we live in. Not everyone will care about the environment as much as I do, but everyone needs money. So, I decided to take the economic route.

     One of the biggest arguments against policies that help the environment like the “Green New Deal” is that it would be too detrimental to the economy if it didn’t work. Politics is a field built from risk, yet people refuse to try when it matters most. More people care about losing money than losing the planet. People have grown so apathetic that sharing the possibilities of certain animals or even humans going extinct doesn’t change their minds. What can? Money. If people hear that switching to clean energy will thicken their wallets and add some more zeros to their bank accounts they’ll finally take the information in. We can’t keep trying to push the same boulder up the hill, Sisyphus already taught us how that just leads you back down the same path. Instead, we need to ditch the same arguments and find a new route. Don’t push the boulder up the hill, build a catapult. Bribe someone to push it up with you. Anything but pushing the same arguments and ideas. The resistance to change and helping the environment has cemented itself into a corner. If we go around the wall that’s been built, we can make changes that will better the world for everyone. 

    Now, I’m still trying to find a more focused angle to take this on. My teacher suggested targeting a certain market instead of going the more political route I was focused on, which is definitely a good idea. We live in a capitalist nation, people will do anything to get further ahead than others. If we build up a market and demand for eco friendly and clean energy products, we can inspire the entire country to begin the switch. We’ve got a large demand, now it’s time to take it to the suppliers.